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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 1, 2015 22:58:56 GMT
Coming back was a hard choice for Clarke. Living among Grounders was easy. For some reason they had this idea that she was some kind of hero for them for what she had done in Mount Weather. It felt good, but only for so long. Eventually praise for something so monstrous felt like she was being suffocated. She could not stay with the grounders anymore, so she finally returned to Camp Jaha. Most people looked at her like she was a ghost. She was certainly a view, Clarke knew as much. She was wearing grounder fashion now, some braids were still in her hair, due to her not bothering to undo them on her way back.
Clarke was being taken to medical first. She slept there for hours while a few meds were dripping into her body. In the morning, after she was released, she still had some of the braids in, but she got to clean herself up just a little. Clarke walked around the camp carefully, watching the people watch her, talk about her. Out of the delinquents from the drop ship, she saw Octavia first. Not knowing where the rest was or if anyone wanted to see her at all, she decided to face her biggest critic first. They hadn’t seen each other in two months. Clarke was honestly curious how she would react to seeing her now.
“Octavia… hello.” She said almost nervously as she reached her former friend.
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 1, 2015 21:38:47 GMT
That was interesting. Given the Arks limited place and genetic pool, it was logical for the blonde trait to die out over the generations. Clarke was one of the few ones to be born as blonde as she was. Gingers and blondes were just rare these days with every culture it would seem. The genetic pool seemed to have been able to expand more, but it seemed even here the blondes were getting rare. Why, though? Did the blondes rarely survive for some reason? Maybe someone could find out about it.
“I did notice a few broken noses. They will have to deal with a dent in the nose for the rest of their lives. You did quite the impressive number on them. I have barely been able to reset them.” And even then she was not able to reset it so that the break would become invisible. She would have needed other supplies for it, supplies she had no access to here with those and surgery was unnecessary.
“Why not? Is it boring?” Clarke could kind of understand that. It was boring for her, too, on the very, very odd occasion that she had to keep watch down at the dropship. “Would you mind taking me with you, next time you go out to hunt?” She knew her way with weapons and would stand out of her way, as her priority lay on the plants she learned of and needed.
Isa
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 1, 2015 20:54:03 GMT
“She wasn’t there, Bellamy. She and other seconds were tasked to keep watch in the woods. She was not in the line of fire.” Clarke explained. “As far as I know Lincoln wasn’t back with us then, so I did not look for him.” But there were other people. Clarke stopped. She knew this would have repercussions even with Bellamy, but in the end, it would be that. She would face the consequences, she would regret it, she already did. In the end, though, Bellamy needed the knowledge in order to protect their people. Even if Lexa would get her killed, Bellamy could protect the rest of their people against them with the knowledge he would have.
“She’s got Tondc against me, Bellamy. Look around you, who would those Grounders believe? Her or me? Her story, however much of a lie it would be, would stand against mine. You, maybe Octavia and a few would believe me, but they would always believe her, not me. What happened in Tondc, she could twist herself out of the blame and have me killed. You have to keep the peace somehow, Bellamy.” She just did now know how that should work. Either way, he had to manage it somehow. Then, though, she owed him the truth as well. “I tried to get Lexa to evacuate Tondc. I lied when I told you octavia was back at Camp Jaha, to ... protect you, but she was assigned to stand guard with the other seconds in the woods, so she was safe. I tried everything. I suggested we cancel the meeting, I suggested just evacuating and … risking your exposure, I tried to get her to start a damn fire. But I fell for her arguments. By the time I realized that more of our people than I anticipated were in Tondc… by the time I even half noticed what happened to me there and got ready to turn back… the bomb knocked me out. That’s what they got on me. All they need to do is demand my blood. But you know that Lexa knew. And you know that I gave her options to protect her people, that… My mother was in Tondc.”
Bellamy Blake
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 1, 2015 19:37:07 GMT
‘Ba ba ba ba ba.’ Clarke could not help but grin at the sounds coming from the floor. She immediately reacted to the tiny human, who was looking at her with such happy intend that everybodys hearts would be melting. She swore those deep eyes were entirely Bellamys and nobody has said otherwise yet. Clarke sat on the floor, to look at her daughter. The baby couldn’t sit by herself yet, but a pillow supported her and allowed her to play seated with her toys. For a kid her age, she already had way too many toys, but the entire camp seemed to love her and she seemed to love the entire camp. She was just a cheerful baby. Right now her cheerful four-month-old raised her arms, trying to reach for her, which was usually Clarkes cue to pick her up. Hope snuggled against her.
Tiny fists held on to Clarkes shirt as her head rested on her mothers shoulder. She seemed peaceful, just enjoying a quiet snuggle with her mother and Clarke did the same. Clarke got up with her, slowly walking up and down and humming to her small daughter, like she usually did. The weight and warmth against her always kept Clarke herself save and warm. Usually either Clarke or Bellamy were with her. As they were both leaders especially for the other delinquents, they could exchange places. Either Bellamy was with their daughter while Clarke worked or vice versa. Today Clarke was the parent. That was until now. A joyous exclamation and a tiny fist reaching out for the door when it opened, told Clarke without a doubt who came in: daddy. “Daddy is home?” She asked her daughter, but she lost all attention already. “Welcome home, Bell. You’ve been missed.”
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Sept 30, 2015 20:24:07 GMT
Maybe he was shit at taking care of himself all alone, but the good part was: He wasn’t alone. Maybe that was the reason why he seemed to be handling things a lot better than he did. He had his friends, his sister and Mel to lean on. He could allow others to take care of him, could just forget to take care of himself and still be taken care of. He was in a very luxurious position, one she could have had herself, yet didn’t. She had turned away from them and now she was paying the price of it. Every moment out there, she couldn’t heal. Now she was even hurting herself without knowing it, just by moving her hand. She only noticed it, when Bellamy took her hand, squeezing it softly and keeping a hold of it, probably to stop her from hurting herself further. She was grateful for it, very grateful in fact.
“Helping people is something I know. It’s… you know, something I learned, a bit of a nobrainer and in the end it provided for me, so it was good. It’s what I can do. I can take care f others. I can fight for them, make the hard decisions, but caring for myself is impossible.” Clarke smiled sadly. Had she really come back because she was ready? Or just because she was something else. In any case she was back. And she was glad and she wished she could just … be okay again. Maybe with his help. “Bellamy?” she began slowly. “Can you forgive me if I try to sleep? It’s nothing against you. I’m not trying to get rid of you. You can stay here. I’m just still tired and drained. Apparently I did lose quite a lot of blood.” She would actually prefer he'd stay here, hell she'd prefer if he could hold her, but what message would that send to his girlfriend? Not a good one at all.
Bellamy Blake
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Sept 30, 2015 19:25:08 GMT
“Of course he wouldn’t have blamed me. Did you know he…” Clarke began. She did not know if Bellamy knew the full detail of what went down between her and Wells. He would know now . To Clarkes surprise he had assessed Wells perfect. He would never have blamed her. He would have told her that this was out of her control. She cared which was why she worried about people, why she placed the blame on herself. “He knew about my father, I thought he sold him to Jaha, but in reality my mother did. He just wanted to protect me from that bitter truth. And now from earth. I couldn’t return the favor.” Then again how would she had protected him? Everyone in this camp carried a grudge. Had it not been Charlotte, it could have been Murphy or anyone else.
Clarke found herself yawning slightly. Her throat hurt, the emotional pain was there and there was slight exhaustion due to what she had endured. She and Bellamy might not be on the same page, but she leaned against him regardless, hoping he’d understand that she was just being a bit weak. It was not like she had much of a choice. “I just wish I could change things. I wish I could have protected him. I wish I knew. I wish things would have been different.” But none of them could go back. “How are things with you and Octavia? Your experiences as brother definitely showed with Charlotte.”
Bellamy Blake
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Sept 30, 2015 0:03:54 GMT
The idea is: Clarke is not in Camp Jaha during winter. So how about someone, either Grounder of Arker, gets lost outside during a snow storm and stumbles into the cave Clarke has made camp in? They are forced to spend the night and a day together in the cave as leaving it would mean at least lost limbs, if not death. |
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Sept 29, 2015 23:14:09 GMT
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Sept 29, 2015 22:35:32 GMT
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Sept 29, 2015 21:49:13 GMT
“I’d love for it to last until the kid is born, but you have to work.” He had to go hunt with the others, too. At least once in a while. Others knew how to hunt, of course, but just not as well as Bellamy. People noticed how when he was with the others, they always brought back more. But she wanted time with him, with just the two of them before it would never be just the two of them again. Well technically it wasn’t just the two of them even now, but as long as the baby was still inside her, they could focus on each other, a bit at least. For the both of them their child was important, but given her fear, they should enjoy every moment they could have, because only god knew how much they would still have. At least it seemed like their child was already responding to his voice. Not only could he calm he baby, the moment he lowered himself to kiss her belly, the baby started to throw kicks into his direction. Clarke could not help but grin at that. It seemed like their child already loved him. This kid might just be totally a daddys girl or boy.
“Turning me into a housewife?” She was kidding of course. Bellamy knew not to do that, she was sure of that. But right now, her not worrying about anything was the best choice for their baby. She needed to worry only about being pregnant, getting rest, eating well and maybe, like he said, about something as trivial as curtains. Clarke was just about to reach up to guide him down to kiss her, when the door opened. Her mother stood in it, a soft smile on her lips. A wink gave away that Abigail Griffin was up to something. Clarke stared at her mother, both her hands immediately covering her baby bump.
“Relax, Clarke. It’s good news. Great news, in fact.” Abby walked forward and placed a hand on Bellamys shoulder. This was something that made Clarke smile. It looked like a silent approval of Bellamy to be in their family. Not that there was a way for him not to be. If this turned out badly Bellamy would be left as the only parent to Abbys grandchild and as such the only connection. They were family as well now. “The ultrasound is working again. If the two of you are ready, we can go find out if there’s a little girl of boy growing in there and we can check if the baby is healthy.” Now that was great. Those were the kind of news that made her excited. They would get to see their baby. Clarke slowly got up, or tried to. Bellamy sat in the way and her momentum was lost, so she fell back. “God, someone help the balloon, aka me, up.”
Bellamy Blake
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Sept 29, 2015 18:12:37 GMT
Clarke nodded, hating every moment of his explanation. Why did he feel like he needed to do that? Why did he feel like this was what they could need? This had to be her fault, right? Well of course. She made so many mistakes. She could not go back on any of her decisions, but Clarke was aware that there was so much she could damage, so much at stake with him. Why could they not just rest? Let the world be the world and rest, together. Without thinking there were any thoughts to their touches, any consequences to any of it. There were, of course, Clarke knew it. Just for now she wanted sweet oblivion.
“It made me feel something else, too. But Bellamy… I can’t think right now.” It was the truth. Maybe he would understand. Maybe he would allow her to… just be, to not feel consequences or pain for the time being, because those could hurt the both of them and that was something she wanted to avoid at all costs. This was the entire purpose of running after all. To escape her thoughts and the consequences of it all. She needed that so desperately. She held out her hand, aware of her state of undress, still, but who cared? If he wanted to have her again, he could. If he just wanted to sleep, she would curl up around him. She just hoped he understood that right now, she was not the material to be anything but someone close to him. But to put responsibility of something else on her? Clarke didn’t know how that was supposed to work right now.
“I’m broken, Bell. We both are. I can’t think straight. My mind makes no sense. I want you, I want to be close at the same time my mind says I don’t deserve it. And neither do you deserve those mixed signals from me. If I could make sense of it, I would. But I can’t. Do you think you can handle me like that?”
Bellamy Blake
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Sept 29, 2015 0:23:57 GMT
Clarke felt it in her bones, the way she had actually worked this day. She felt what she did and it was a glorious thing. Her muscles were slightly weak, wanting to refuse more movement, just craving rest. But this time it was for a very good reason. She was, in a way… well nesting. Could it be called nesting? Probably, because in the widest and broadest sense of the word it was the number one word for it. She wasn’t pregnant, of course, but she did have this instinct or urge to build a home, not for her newborn, but for her hand Bellamy, so in a way, for their newborn relationship, if it was one or for her and his fragile state of mind. Maybe his helpless state helped bring that instinct on. Maybe it was just an instinct deeply rooted within her. She was caring and whatever happened around her resulted in this need and instinct to just nest without even being pregnant. It had no other use than to well give them a home, a proper home in this unsteady and painful word.
His reaction was a reward despite the lack of words. This was Bellamy after all. He was no poet, despite having his moments. Clarke smirked at him. It felt good to, well see his surprise. It seemed to be a good surprise. “Well, I wanted to do this.” Nope she needed to do this. “I figured if we’re to tell our people this is to be our home, we needed to start it.” That was a much more logical explanation, but didn’t describer her damn urge to take care of him nor the nesting. Clarke noticed how this was even good for her. Right now, though, this was it for them, their home. “The other tent was just provisional. I wanted something… permanent. First because it’s something for us. Secondly, to ensure you know I will stay, with you and for you. And lastly: We needed a home. We lost so much, parts of ourselves, it’s…. time we got a home, don’t you think?” Clarke wandered over to the bed. She pulled the curtains before it to hide it. “It comes with privacy and place for our friends and well for us. What do you think?” Clarke noticed the food, though she didn’t comment on it. That was why they had a table and chairs now. She could just… take one of their candles and light it and make it ridiculously romantic. And that was exactly what she did then. With a candle lighted on the table, all they needed was the food on there, too.
Bellamy Blake
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Sept 28, 2015 23:04:49 GMT
“Is it not?” she asked curiously. Was it that rare with the Grounders? Clarke wondered why? Actually why was it relatively rare those days? Clarke was just a beginner in medicine in terms of analyzing genes and all that. It would have taken her a while to analyze the reasons behind it and besides neither Camp Jaha, nor the Grounders had it. Maybe some of it survived somewhere, maybe they could eventually build some at Camp Jaha, but for now there were more pressing matters for both cultures: Survival being the top priority.
“You’re a warrior, right? The people mistaking us kept wanting to give me weapons.” She wondered if they would have done the same, would they know exactly who she was. Probably not. Even they would know the number of people she killed in Mount Weather, their leader had hinted to something like that. They really should not entrust her with a weapon, it might end up badly, but Clarke felt like it would end up badly for herself. “Are you just defending your people or going out to hunt as well?” Maybe Clarke could ask her to bring her something for the poor lady in her care. She did not have much to trade, but with warriors the chance of her getting to do something in return was there.
Isa
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Sept 27, 2015 22:27:20 GMT
All this talk of war had Clarke nervous and her stomach turn just slightly. She was so done with wars. They had been in relative peace for the majority of her pregnancy, but somehow she had known from the beginning that this could not last forever. Why now though? Why when the baby was just old enough to live outside her with technical help, that all of this could go down? At least the baby could be saved, even if she might not be, but the more Clarke thought about this, the more she feared, the more stress it was. Bellamy was right, she should focus on herself and her baby right now. She should focus on trying to gain more strength, so the chances of her own survival would be higher. She should try and do everything to ensure their safety, but how? Everything around her seemed to be determined to make it as hard as possible. Should pregnancies not be enjoyable? While Bellamys hand felt good, she still teared up. Both hands were on her pregnant belly, a soft kick telling her the baby was moving, it was good, which only made her to cry harder.
“I don’t want to eat, Bellamy. I want this to stop. I hate how everything seems to go against us, how there is no peace. Our baby is something good for our people and I love it and I love you, but I couldn’t enjoy being pregnant at all. I worry every day, I am weak, I know if I remain in this state the chances might be high that this could damage or kill me. And I’m scared. What if they attack? What if there really is a war? What if we get hurt? What if he or she gets born early? Why can’t we just have one or two days to just be happy together, to enjoy the kiddo growing in there or just to decorate the nursery or something else. Any other day that would have been sooo pointless to me. But… I really want it now, Bellamy. Just one day. Why can’t we even have one day?”
Bellamy Blake
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Sept 27, 2015 21:57:22 GMT
“Girls gossip, have you not heard about that before I think the only girl safe from that gossip is Octavia.” She smirked. Octavia was his sister, while he was protective of her, she knew she was protective of her brother as well and Clarke could imagine, that her brothers sexual qualities were not a topic she would like to discuss. The 17 year old looked intently at him. Did he know that some of the girls in this camp didn’t have good experiences in bed at all? She knew of some, but would not speak to him of that. That was their story to tell, not hers. Maybe they shared with him, maybe not. It was their decision. What she could talk about was only her own experience and that. But this was Bellamy. She trusted him by now and as it seemed rightfully so.
“I would have actually preferred this over my first time. My first time was horrible. The second time as well, by the way. Finn is very egoistical in bed.” And not nearly enough to get a girl what she needs. Her first time was even worse than that. At least Finn knew the basics, though only those. So far it seemed like luck was evading Clarke with sexual partners. One was too bad for words, the other was bad and the one who was potentially good, well she could not remember that one, could she? At least it was not worse than that. “How is your head by the way?”
Bellamy Blake
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