Hope

[Clarke Griffin]

Bellamy Blake

---

‘Ba ba ba ba ba.’ Clarke could not help but grin at the sounds coming from the floor. She immediately reacted to the tiny human, who was looking at her with such happy intend that everybodys hearts would be melting. She swore those deep eyes were entirely Bellamys and nobody has said otherwise yet. Clarke sat on the floor, to look at her daughter. The baby couldn’t sit by herself yet, but a pillow supported her and allowed her to play seated with her toys. For a kid her age, she already had way too many toys, but the entire camp seemed to love her and she seemed to love the entire camp. She was just a cheerful baby. Right now her cheerful four-month-old raised her arms, trying to reach for her, which was usually Clarkes cue to pick her up. Hope snuggled against her.

Tiny fists held on to Clarkes shirt as her head rested on her mothers shoulder. She seemed peaceful, just enjoying a quiet snuggle with her mother and Clarke did the same. Clarke got up with her, slowly walking up and down and humming to her small daughter, like she usually did. The weight and warmth against her always kept Clarke herself save and warm. Usually either Clarke or Bellamy were with her. As they were both leaders especially for the other delinquents, they could exchange places. Either Bellamy was with their daughter while Clarke worked or vice versa. Today Clarke was the parent. That was until now. A joyous exclamation and a tiny fist reaching out for the door when it opened, told Clarke without a doubt who came in: daddy. “Daddy is home?” She asked her daughter, but she lost all attention already. “Welcome home, Bell. You’ve been missed.”

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Every time he left them, he felt like he was leaving his heart behind. Each second he was parted from his family, was painful. It had taken him a while to adjust, to be able to remain focused without his mind thinking back to how he was missing precious moments with Hope and Clarke. It hadn't gotten any easier, but he had forced himself to adjust. When duty called him away, he had no other choice but to go.

Today, it had been a hunting trip that called him away from his family for a rather prolonged period of time. Though from Bellamy's perspective, anything longer than five minutes was a prolonged period of time. He wanted to always be with them, even if logically that was an impossibility. The hunting trip was fortunately short and fruitful. They returned with a few animals that would keep them fed for the next little while . . . which meant, more time with the women he loved.

He briefly spoke to Marcus but he could easily detect Bellamy's eagerness to return to his apartment so fortunately, the conversation was not long. He hurriedly parted ways and as soon as he opened the door, he saw Hope and Clarke there. A smile spread on Bellamy's lips as he approached them, taking Hope into his arms as he kissed her cheek repeatedly a few times before simply holding her in his arms, looking at her with his eyes filled with affection and love.

"How's my little princess?" He asked, unable to resist the urge to kiss her small cheek again. "I missed you so much," he added on, moving his finger to her small hand so that her tiny fingers could curl around his one. Bellamy's attentions then directed toward Clarke, an unwavering smile on his lips. The love and gratitude he felt for her -- among many other things -- was indescribable. She had given him the most precious gift in all this world and no words could fully express how he felt. He leaned toward her, lightly kissing her lips before pulling away and gazing back at his daughter. "How was everything here?" He asked, his question directed to both of them -- but of course only one could respond with coherent words.

[Clarke Griffin]

Bellamy leaving or her leaving was always heartbreaking. Their little princess was spoiled in terms of time spent with her parents, but it was due to this world. Either of them could die any day. It was a bit of a close call with her when she gave birth to Hope. Had it not been for Bellamy, she might not have survived her daughters first day in this world, but he knew what to do. He kept them alive then and now he still did. They both wanted to spend every moment with their daughter and each other, as examples have shown them how easily it could end. People died, just like that sometimes. Babies could die just like that, stop breathing, but something made her confident in their daughter: Clarke was usually not far and if she was, her mother was close. The baby always had at least one doctor close.

Clarke loved watching Bellamy come back. She loved coming back herself. The way their daughter lit up upon seeing the missing parent, the way she now babbled to communicate with them. It warmed her heart how she was in Bellamys arm, still trying to wrap her small hand around his finger, barely managing it due to the size of Bellamys hand. Hope was so obviously happy to see him and be in his arms again and especially to receive endless kisses. Hope just loved her Daddy. After their soft kiss, Clarke actually wanted to say something, to tell him that everything was fine here, but her daughter had other plans. She was simply faster and started babbling at him immediately. Hope seemed so fully concentrated on babbling, that it really seemed like she wanted to tell him everything that happened today. And maybe that was what she tried. Chuckling, Clarke placed her hand on her daughters back.

“Everything went smooth here. She ate like a champ, then played a little, napped and cuddled. You should have seen her, she eyed your side of your bed like it’s a personal offense that you’re not in it. Which might just be the case in her world. Then she ate again and played. I swear she’ll sit without support soon. And just now she decided she wanted cuddles again, which was when you came in.” And like with many young parents not much mattered beyond their babies progress. She had eaten herself, as she knew she had to, due to the fact that she was still nursing Hope – or they gave her a bottle with mothers milk – so she needed nutrition to keep herself and her beloved baby healthy and happy. “How was the hunt?”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Every sound that Hope made was music to his ears. The beautiful sounds -- as incoherent as they were -- that felt from her lips made his heart swell with emotion. She was the epitome of perfection and Bellamy's smile grew brighter hearing her answer his question. "Well, doesn't that sound like a wonderful day," he said in response to her, just wanting to reply in some way, wanting her to hear his voice. He kissed the top of her head again, enjoying her answer, her expression, her actions . . . just, every single thing about her. He hadn't thought it was possible to smile as much as he had been since she was brought into this world. But it had seemed to fill his heart with emotions that he didn't think himself capable of; emotions that came only when one became a parent. And what made it even more perfect, was that he had embarked on that journey of parenthood with the woman he loved.

Clarke then answered the question, and though it sounded like a fairly typical day . . . Bellamy still wished he hadn't missed it. He wanted to be there every second of every day with them, even if it was an impossibility. "Well I'm sorry I may have offended you, baby girl," he told her, offering another apology kiss on her cheek. It tugged at his heart not being with her. He felt pride at the thought of her being able to sit up soon. Before they knew it she would be crawling, and then walking and . . . Bellamy was thinking too ahead. He just wanted to enjoy each and every day with his family.

"Seems like I had perfect timing then," he stated, only partly joking. He raised his gaze to meet Clarke's after hearing her question. "It was good. We caught enough for the next few days," he informed her. Which meant, he wouldn't have to hunt for a little while. "Do you want to lie down?" He asked her. While Hope was a fairly happy baby, she was still a baby. And sleeping through the night was a luxury that the three of them weren't always given. So he wanted to check and see if Clarke needed any rest. While there were several others at the camp to help . . . Hope was seldom every without both her mother and father, so he knew Clarke remained with her the entire time he was gone.

[Clarke Griffin]

Even if he had offended her that was already forgotten, because Hope was just happy, getting more and more tired, but happy. She was in general a happy baby. Bad things did not yet happen in her world. Her world was full of people who just loved her, played and cuddled with her. Clarke ran her hand through her daughters soft hair, which drew a soft cooing for a reaction. She was like Bells, enjoying this. Speaking of. Clarke had to show him something, even if she would be momentarily annoyed at her. Clarke took her baby from Bellamy, turning her to rest against her shoulder despite the babies soft protests.

“Before I lie down, look at this.” Clarke placed her hand on the back of her daughters head, catching a few little curls between her fingers. She had only noticed it today as Hope had refused to wear a hat today all day. In an attempt to put it on, she had caught sight of the too familiar curls. Now there would be even less doubt about Hopes paternity, because those curls were clearly her dads. It didn’t take long for the baby to twist and try to reach back for her father, protesting with soft whimpers. “I guess that is my cue.” Clarke grinned. It was rare for either of them to catch any sleep at all, but when the baby demanded for one parent only, the other could maybe lie down and catch a little nap, even if Clarke knew it would be a really short one at most. Eventually Hope would need to be nursed again. But before she could even turn away a little fist began clutching her shirt. So much for that.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

When Clarke reached for Hope, he let her go, wondering what she was going to show him. But then he saw it. He leaned closer, unsure how it was even possible for his smile to grow any brighter, but it did. Seeing the sign of curls made his heart swell with pride. "That's my girl," he said through the large smile on his lips. The excitement of it filled his whole body, eager to see the curls grow and form more . . . but not in any hurry for her to grow up.

He wanted to enjoy every second of every day they were given with their precious daughter. His finger touched the soft curl, unable to stop staring at it . . . until Hope began to move, reaching for him once more. He immediately responded, taking her in his arms but not before she fisted Clarke's shirt, not wanting to see her mother leave. So very typical of Hope. And Bellamy didn't care that he fed into it each and every time.

There was nothing he could say no to for his daughter -- though that may be a problem when she grew older. For now, he just wanted to give her everything this world could offer and more. He securely held her in his arms, his grin unwavering. "Come on. Why don't the three of us lie down together," he said, lookng at Hope to see if she approved of his suggestion.

Her protests seemed to cease as she let out sounds of what Bellamy was going to take as approval. He wasn't tired but the thought of lying down with the woman he loved and his daughter was impossible to resist. He made his way to the room, ensuring that Clarke was in view for Hope so that she knew he wasn't walking away from her mother. "How long did she sleep for today?" Bellamy inquired, gently swaying Hope in his arms.

[Clarke Griffin]

“She was always your girl.” And always would have been. Clarke knew that now. Bellamy loved her. Bellamy had loved her for quite a while, which was why he stayed away when she returned, thinking little Hope was Finns biological daughter. She would have understood that, but even then it hurt, because Bellamy had been her best friend for so long and she loved him. She loved him since before they conceived their daughter, but it took her a while to realize her feelings. Maybe it was when she realized she was carrying his kid, maybe a bit before that, either way, it took her ages to admit her feelings to herself. And either way, Bellamy would have come around, she was sure of that now. His baby or not, Bellamy would have eventually come around and helped her. And him delivering her – assuming this would have happened under those circumstances as well – would have sealed the deal. Had he not been her biological father, he probably would have still been self- appointed adoptive father. And even if he hadn’t been her biological father, he would still be a better father than Finn could ever be. Looking back, Clarke realized she wouldn’t have wanted him around her daughter under any circumstances. She would always have ended up being his girl. Now, though, she had the curls to prove she really was his daughter, in more than one way. 

“That’s a good idea.” Given how Hope had wanted to cuddle just then, it was a good bet, that the baby was a bit tired. She would probably fall asleep between them and allow both her parents to relax, even if it might just be for an hour or two. The would need the nap, as there was no doubt it Clarkes mind, that this baby girl would not sleep through the night. She was getting there, sleeping longer and longer, but she still woke very early to get changed and fed. With their daughters approval, Clarke followed the two of them to the bedroom. She loved the sight of that. Sometimes, when both of them had no work to do, they would get Hope and let her stay in their bed for a bit, if she was awake early and they were too lazy to get up and tackle the day, because they had no reason to. 

“Not too long. She’ll probably fall asleep while cuddling with us.” And neither of them would have any complaints about that. Because why should they? It was an exception, at night she would sleep in her crib again. Just then Clarke froze. She watched Bellamy handle his daughter with so much ease, swaying her softly. She watched Hopes serene expression. This was her family. And it was way too perfect to handle. “We’ll have a second one, right?” she asked softly.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy continued to gently rock and sway the peaceful baby in his arms as Clarke spoke of how she hadn't slept too long. Bellamy knew that eventually he would have to limit the amount of time she napped so that she would sleep through the night . . . but he never had the heart to wake her amid a sleep. "With any luck, you will too," he said with a smile, hoping that Clarke would sleep right along with Hope. Bellamy sat at the edge of the bed and start to carefully kick off his shoes, ensuring not to jostle Hope too much. Clarke's next question caused him to pause. A second child. He quite enjoyed the way she had said that; not asking but assuming. And well, it was a correct assumption to make. He turned his head to look at her, a small smile on his lips.

"I'd love that," he said in a low but strongly sincere voice. Looking down at Hope, his soft smile remained. "Hope should have a brother or sister." Having a sibling was not a relationship that anyone could truly understand due to the former laws on the Ark . . . except for him and Octavia. He knew of that bond, the strength of it. And he wanted that for Hope. Only she wouldn't have to live in constant fear for her sibling or mother.

She could just explore the relationship, enjoy the company, have a strong bond with the other. But there was something that Bellamy wanted before a second child: he wanted to marry Clarke. Hell, he had the ring and everything. He wanted to solidify their union. They were practically married already; they had a family, lived together . . . he just wanted to formalize that union. He just wanted to create the right environment to ask; to properly propose. "At least one," he smiled as he looked at Clarke once more, teasing at the idea of having even more than two children.

[Clarke Griffin]

Before Clarke could even consider answering, she had to walk out. She just realized something was missing with their setup. While Bellamy took care of their daughter and toed off his shoes in order to get into their bed, Clarke rushed back to the living room to pick up the baby blanket and her daughters plushy. If the girl did fall asleep, she wanted the two objects close in case they needed it for her. To her surprise she managed to get back to the room before Bellamy really finished his musings. One more baby at least? She liked his way of thinking. Really, Clarke loved being a mother. She had never felt this kind of unconditional love for someone before. She could even understand her mothers actions, however misguided they were, but it made so much more sense now. And really, Clarke loved being a mother. She loved holding her daughter, she loved changing her, she loved getting up at night for her, everything. Maybe with a second baby everything would be settled down enough, that she could full on enjoy the pregnancy as well. 

“I’m holding you to that, Blake. With the population laws officially gone, we could have children until my body physically can’t do it anymore. And then you’re free to seek a new woman to finish your little Army of Blakes for world dominion.” Not that he ever implied that. She was joking. Honestly, he would break her heart then. But then again, Bell was not the person to leave his kids under any circumstances. He was a father, he was a father through and through. It sometimes felt like she was watching him truly being himself when he held her and cooed to her and swayed her and was just with her. This was another reason why she wanted another. She wanted to cling to this unguarded meant to be version of Bellamy. With the intention of actually really trying to nap herself, Clarke quickly changed into her night shorts and shirt before slipping under the cover. A content sigh escaped her lips. This was another of those nice moments she really learned to relish, just getting to lay there with her family, napping, watching the baby move or just watching either her or him sleep. It has become so familiar so easily. 

“Remember when only your voice could calm her down when I was still pregnant with her?”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy continued to smile as Clarke spoke of how she would hold this against him; how she would have chilren until her body reached its physical limitations. The thought of more children made his heart swell with emotion; excitement, joy . . . so many other things. Hope had made him feel so much. An honor in the title of father. A pride in the title of loved one -- loved by both Clarke and Hope, just as he loved them. It was more than he could have ever hoped for. He watched Clarke set down Hope's favorite items and shifted himself so that he was lying on the bed, with Hope nestled against his chest.

"Are you giving me permission to make babies with other women?" He asked, a clear tease in his voice. He wouldn't even think or consider it for a split second. Clarke and Hope were perfect. Absolutely perfect. And he didn't want anyone else. Well, additional babies would be nice but it wasn't because he felt anything was lacking in his family. And he only wanted children with Clarke. He only wanted to be with her. Besides, he imagined that when Octavia eventually had children -- should she choose to -- then she coudl carry on the Blake army when he and Clarke reached their limit. "I think I'll stick with the woman I love," he told her with a playful tone, though he meant every word. He loved her, and since the first time he had told her, it had come out with so much ease since then. But he also knew that she was a wonderful mother. Seeing her care for Hope, seeing a maternal warmth from her . . . it was perfect. She was perfect. He couldn't even imagine anyone else being the mother of his child. He wanted Clarke and only Clarke.

He watched her crawl into bed, turning his head to look at her as he continued to nestle Hope against his chest, his hand gently rubbing against her baby. "I do," he confirmed in a low voice, the memories fond ones. "Boredom or fascination," he said, recalling those two words as being reasons that she could have fallen asleep. "And if I remember correctly, it helped you drift off to sleep as well," he added. He'd always worried about her not getting adequate rest. Even now he did so. He slid closer to her, ensuring her didn't disrupt Hope's position as she seemed to be comfortable, but wanted her to be closer to Clarke. Hell, he even wanted to be closer to her.

[Clarke Griffin]

Was she giving him permission? For a moment Clarke just focused on the man she loved as he asked her this important – at least important to her – question. Would she be okay with him having a child with someone else, if she could not have any more children? Clarke tried to listen to what she felt. And it didn’t take long to know what she really felt. She would hate it. She would hate him for it. It would feel like she was nothing but someone to bear children with, she would feel like crap, truly miserable and used. She would hate the child he would have with another woman. And she would hate him more than she did at their worst. Their relationship would never be able to survive this. “No. I couldn’t bear that. I was joking. I… I couldn’t deal with that, Bellamy.” If his desire for a child really drove her into another womans arms, Clarke knew she could not recover from the implications it would bring. She would not be able to shake the feeling of her only be worthy when she could have children and used and now worthless. Not that he was giving her the idea at the moment. But if it came to it, she would not be able to deal. She would function for Hope and any sibling of hers, but that was it.

“Bellamy.” Clarke almost giggled as he brought up the old observation. She held her hand out against her small daughters back as he shifted closer. Taking the cue, she, too shifted closer, so they could comfortably touch and both cuddle with the baby between them and each other at the same time. “I think we both know it was fascination. You know how she looks at you when you’re reading something for her. You could read a manual for her and she’d still be fascinated. She’s fascinated by you.” As if on cue Hope lazily babbled into Bellamys chest, highlighting her baby statement by a waving arm. Clarke grinned. “Same for me. You have this deep, soothing voice. I swear, all you would need to do is tell a story and both Hope and I would sleep like a baby, which is only accurate in her case.”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She told him that she couldn't bare that; that she wouldn't be able to deal with it. He could understand completley. The thought of her being with any one else was maddening. He was fairly certain he'd beat the hell out of that person. "Hey," he said in a low but strongly sincere voice. "That's not something you'll ever need to deal with." He wanted her to know that. Despite his numerous sexual encounters with women, fidelity was never an issue. He'd never been in love until Clarke, and it was so easy to commit his heart, body, mind and soul to her. It felt so natural, so right to be with her. Hell, he was going to ask her to marry him. He never wanted her to doubt his commitment to her and their daughter. His desire to be with her. His connection with Clarke was far beyond the physical . . . and he couldn't imagine his life with anyone else. He didn't want to.

He smiled when she spoke of how it was fascination, finding himself feel pride in the fact that she -- and even their daughter -- found his voice soothing. It was how he had put Octavia to sleep so many times when his mother couldn't. Or even at times when Bellamy had just wanted to be the one to lull her to sleep. Hope's 'talking' caused the smile to spread, touching his entire face as he continued to nestle her against him. He moved his finger to her hand so that she could clutch it, hardly able to wrap her tiny fingers around one of his. But it was the contact the wanted with his daughter.

He kissed her forehead a few times, the urge so great and one that he felt would never fully be gone. That familiar pride that only a father could feel, knowing his daughter's adoration for him. He saw it in the way Hope looks at Clarke, and he loved hearing Clarke speak of how she saw it in Hope when she looked at him. "Well then I'm glad I can keep her and her mother entertained," he said with a light tease, but honest in his words. "Maybe I should tell you both a story, since you both need to get some sleep right now." And he wanted to do whatever he could to ensure they got that. "Now the question is, which one would you like to hear?" He asked. Bellamy supposed he was asking both of them, but his gaze rested on Hope as he awaited her incoherent answer, whicn involved a grin and more babbling.

[Clarke Griffin]

“Of course you can.” Clarke placed her hand on Bellamys cheek, loving the feel of his skin under her fingers, the small ridges of almost invisible scars, which she could trace in her sleep, despite the lack of sexual activities at the moment. They still spent time together if they could, if Hope was sleeping, but their cuddling mostly resulted in sleeping, for obvious reasons. It was still enough for her to learn his scars by now. And he probably knew hers like the back of his own hand. She loved it. She loved how it turned out. Of course she still didn’t like to look back to the downsides of pregnancy, but it got them their perfect little daughter. It… was the perfect story actually.

“Maybe you should tell us about this King and how he met his princess. And how they made a home in the new kingdom together.” Clarke was referring to her story with Bellamy. She was quite surprised that their daughter remained quiet. Usually she would babble right now, telling them what she wanted to hear in her baby language. Clarke, surprised by that, looked at her daughter. The surprised dissipated soon enough. She was making a face, a quite upset little face, that was soon accompanied by a whimper. The baby was just about to start to cry. She was probably hungry again or needed a change. “What do you think, Bell? Hungry or needing a change?” Food would be the easiest for them and it would make sure she’d nap, just like Daddy wanted them, too. They could just remain here, she could drink and then rest, while he told them a story.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy gave a soft smile when he felt Clarke's hand on his cheek. He slightly turned his head, his lips touching the palm of her hand. She then suggested a rather familiar story, one that Bellamy could easily tell without including the morbid truths of it. Really, the story of how they had gotten together was rather . . . unique. A story to tell indeed. "I think that sounds like a great one," he agreed. Though his gaze followed Clarke's to see Hope making a face. Oh they knew that expression all too well. She was getting ready to cry. Clarke presented the two possibilities of what could have caused such an expression. His hand touched the makeshift diaper from behind.

"Feels dry," he stated, lowering his head to see if he could smell anything. But it didn't seem she needed a changing. Not yet anyway. "Guess that means that mommy's up," he stated with a smile as he carefully passed Hope to Clarke. Feeding was Clarke's territory for now, until Hope no longer breast fed. He'd change her afterwards if need be, but hopefully she would be lulled into a sleep after she had her meal. Once Hope was in Clarke's arms, he adjusted the pillow so that it was comfotably behind Clarke's back. "Need anything?" He asked, wanting to make sure she was comfortable. That they both were comfortable, though Hope already had her plushie and blanket and that -- along with her parents of course -- was usually enough.

[Clarke Griffin]

It was funny. Clarke never imagined this, not in her wildest dreams, not on the Ark when life was domestic and not down here either. She never even thought about that part of having a baby, when she was pregnant with her child – which was the most time here on earth as she got pregnant less than a month after arriving – yay for her implant royally failing down here. Still even though most of her life on earth eventually circled around having her baby, she never imagined this domestic bliss that came with her, nor the feeling of holding her in her arm, when her face was scrunched up like that in annoyance, so close to crying. She also never anticipated that eventually she and Bellamy would be able to hear just by Hopes cries – she wasn’t crying fully yet – that she wanted food or not. Some cries were also reserved for protest when either of them left to take care of a bit of work.

With Bellamy having adjusted the pillow behind her, Clarke leaned back against them with a soft sigh as she freed her breasts with the arm that was not currently holding the baby. Hope latched on immediately, sucking like her life depended on it – it kind of did, too. “I think we’re good. But how about Daddy starts on the story?” Clarke offered a finger for Hope to grab as she was drinking. The feeling of relaxation coming with feeding the baby was another thing she never anticipated, but Clarke felt peaceful and at ease when Hope drank, like this was all she needed. And it was. Her baby drank, her love was with them, all was well in the world. “Actually, we do need something. Come hold us?” It was a luxury for them to have a quiet moment like that, even though they could enjoy their domestic bliss. “I’m sorry you come home and Hope and I are basically asleep on our feet. I bet it was not what you imagined. Thank you.”

Bellamy Blake