(Not) Good Enough

[Clarke Griffin]

Bellamy Blake

---

Her steps echoed through the now deserted corridor. She followed the sound of the fight, refusing to stay behind and let others die for her, unlike others. Clarke Griffin wanted what was best for her people, she tried so hard to be a good leader, to be good, but as she just heard, it was just not good enough, not yet. Maybe if their people were finally safe, she could feel accomplished. Slowly she saw people. Here and there Grounders were fighting guards, killing them merciless. Clarke didn’t really pay attention as they dished out their revenge. The innocents were to be spared, the soldiers were to be disposed of. 

She almost walked passed them. Clarke couldn’t tell what compelled her to look to the left where a Grounder held what initially looked like a guard, so another one could end him. But this was no guard. She didn’t think, adrenaline making her react quickly. 

“STOP!” she ordered them, rushing between where the ‘guard’ was held and the other Grounder had raised his sword to deliver the final blow. He stopped just before he slashed into Clarke. “Stop. He’s not the enemy. He’s one of us. That’s our inside man.” She saw the Grounder immediately step back, understanding. Clarke turned to the man. It was Bellamy. Had she walked passed this, he would be dead by now. This was insane luck. Damn it. Clarke threw her arms around him, prepared to hold him up if she had to. 

“It’s okay, Bellamy. It’s okay. It’s over.” Or almost over. Clarke didn’t even know if she was saying this to him or herself, but no matter what this was, this one task she had fulfilled: Keep him alive. Still an ache settled in her head, dread at what could have happened, had she come just a second later, had she not looked. In a few minutes their friends would be freed and they could go back to Camp Jaha and deal with the aftermath of all of this.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Timing was everything and the Grounders and Bellamy's couldn't have been worse. In the exact second he had rounded the corner a group of armed Grounders spotted him. Bellamy hardly had time to react for even he knew that it would be difficult to convince a group of blood thirsty warriors who wanted revenge against the Mountain Men . . . that he was not actually a guard. Unfortunately he was grabbed and despite his efforts of fighting off the two who held him, he felt the hilt of a sword ram against his head a couple of times, causing him to stagger back. Bellamy hadn't wanted to kill the Grounders, as they were meant to be allies. Yet that feeling was obviously not known to them.

Two Grounders positioned themselves behind him, holding each arm back as they forced him to his knees. Despite his efforts to explain that he was not a Mountain Man, that he was one of the Sky People, that he was allied with Clarke and Lexa . . . the Grounders would not hear of it. He could see it in their eyes, particularly the one who held a sword and was about to give the mortal blow. There was no hesitation. No flicker of doubt. Bellamy took short breaths, bracing himself for what was about to come.

Who would have thought. Of all ways to meet his end, it would be like this . . . under the disguise of a Mountain Men. He saw the Grounder aim his weapon and Bellamy closed his eyes, able to feel the breeze of the swinging sword when he suddenly heard an all too familiar voice. His eyes shot open and there he saw her. Clarke. His lips parted in surprise as his eyes locked onto her.

Relief did not even begin to cover what Bellamy was currently experiencing. Her words quickly stopped the Grounders as she rushed to his side and put her arms around him as he rose to his feet. Her words provided further reassurance as the relief continued to register, her presence still processing in his mind after being saved from near -- and what would have been certain -- death. "Clarke," he breathed, catching his breath. "I don't think I've ever been more happy to see you," he said almost teasingly. He properly looked at her, his eyes quickly searching her over to see if she was alright and relatively uninjured.

He kept one arm around her, perhaps more for his own emotional support rather than physical. "You alright?" He asked, just questioning it to be sure. He was alright now, thanks to her. Thanks to her impeccable timing and quick reaction. He would have been dead had she not been here. "Where were you heading to?" He inquired, wondering if she was expected somewhere or needing to be somewhere. He sure as hell wasn't about to leave her side, even if these Grounders were here.

[Clarke Griffin]

To Clarkes absolute relief, he could hold himself up just fine. Bellamy held her in his arms, strong as ever, or as strong as could be expected. It was over. He was secure. The Grounders did not kill him, but they almost did. With her by his side, they would leave him alone. Clarke would stop them. And if anyone dared to touch him, she’d end their life soon. They almost killed Bellamy, but they thought him to be a soldier and they were ordered to kill those. Had she not interfered… he would be dead by now. But he wasn’t. She had done so much to ensure his survival and almost failed. But they made it. They won. Everything else was just mere details. But they would soon all leave this mountain, bring home their friends and then they could rest, all but Clarke, but she didn’t deserve rest anyway.

“I’ll be fine once we’re all out of here.” Once their friends were safe and the innocents as well. She didn’t care to mention that she would probably not get to join them out there for a while as it did not matter right now. Their friends mattered, they mattered. Clarke kept an arm around him as well, not even noticing how close that meant they would walk, but in all honesty, she did not care. He was safe. They were winning. The Grounders and their people were systematically swiping the place, making sure the soldiers were down and the civilians unharmed. Clarke almost pulled him towards where she had been headed. “To our people, Bellamy and to you. To make sure they’re okay. And then to make sure the leaders are down. We might have to help the people here to reorganize themselves.” So much was still to do. But right now she could revel in the relief of feeling him alive beside her.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

His mind was still reeling from what had nearly happened. He didn't want to step away from her side for a moment. Especially since there were no other Arkers near her to ensure she stayed safe. While he knew she could take care of herself, he often found himself at her side, guarding her, ready to fight off any potential threat. And right now, would be no exception. He gave a small nod at her initial answer, before she elaborated, explaining that she had been heading to their people and to him to make sure they were ok. "Last I saw them, they were fine. The Grounder army in the harvest facility have also been unleashed so they're making their way through the halls as well." He had explicity told Echo not to harm any of the innocents. Bellamy had joined their people with hers, and it made for one powerful army of people.

"Hell, even some of the citizens in this place are fighting against the Mountain Men." Maya for instance, and other adults who did not condone what was happening. He stopped moving for a moment, deciding to take a second and just . . . realize. Realize all they had accomplished. "Clarke . . . we did it." Together. They did this, together. She was on the outside making sure he stayed safe, not to mention her leadership among the Grounders. He saw the way they respected her; the way they immediately responded to her orders, without a flicker of potential disobedience. "Our people are going to be ok." He hadn't had a chance to just stop and breathe, and he imagined she didn't either. He knew there was still a lot to be done, but they deserved these few seconds to just consider all they had acheived. And he couldn't help a slight smile from forming on his lips.

[Clarke Griffin]

“Maya?” She had helped Bellamy as he had told her before, so she must be among them. From the time Clarke met her to now, things apparently changed. Maya had taken a stand and discovered a strength Clarke had not seen in her. But god, she was glad the other woman found it in herself. One just had to tickle it out of her, it appeared. She was glad that worked. Their friends were fine, the Grounders were fine, too. It seemed like he was right. They already won. They really did it. Without them, they couldn’t have. He was the key to everything and he did it. He disabled the acid fog, released the prisoners. This plan would have fallen without him. She almost grinned at him as he reminded her of their victory, despite the Grounders and their people still officially fighting. 

“I hope so. But they’re not our only concern anymore. They can’t be. The people of Mount Weather have to be our concern as well. They’ve been lied to.” Clarke sighed. She had never really thought about it, but what they had planned was idiotic in the long run, the presidents initial plans, to add the kids from the Ark to the gene pool would have been the better solution and not resulted in this bloodshed. “The bone marrow treatment would have worked for this generation, but what about the next? They’d have kids on the ground and as soon as those babies would have been born the radiation would have killed them. I bet no one ever mentioned that. They have to stay in here. Maybe a few can receive the treatment, to help support them and go into trade.” For blood that they might still need. But donated, willingly given and not god damn it killing people. “We still have a lot of work to do, Bellamy. I have to go to Polis, too. We have won, but this is far from the end. “

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He gave a small nod at the mention of Maya. He had told Clarke on the radio that without her, he'd be dead and it was entirely true. Things had not gone according to plan in terms of how Bellamy had gotten inside. Instead of Lincoln distracting the guards, Bellamy had been captured, decontaminated, imprisoned, and then harvested. Without Maya, he'd be dead. "I owe her my life," he stated. "Without her, none of this would have been possible." He wasn't going to downplay her involvement, and the risks she had taken to help them. These were her people, but she knew what they were doing was wrong . . . so risked everything to help his people. Her actions would hardly be forgotten or dismissed.

"The people are learning what the others did and at what cost." How could they not with all the chaos ensuring. "Even with the treatment, it'll take a lot for them to survive outside these walls. Let's just worry about one thing at a time, and right now, that's making sure Cage and his men are dealt with." He paused for a moment. "We also have to figure out what to do with Dante." The man had not been in agreement to his son's plans but Bellamy didn't exactly fully trust him. "What about Octavia, where did she come in from?" He wondered.

Was she at the front with the rest or elswhere. He wanteed to make sure she was alright . . . especially after finding out she was in Tondc. The thought that she was harmed by the missile wasn't even something he wished to consider. Clarke then stated that she had to go to Polis and Bellamy paused and looked at her. "Why do you need to go there?" He questioned, knowing he best get the details before leaping to any conclusions.

[Clarke Griffin]

“We can’t treat them all.” They shouldn’t. They might have the resources but a bone marrow extraction would be dangerous for the donor as well as the recipient. She was sure neither Kane, her mother, Bellamy or herself where about to risk any more lives that they had worked so hard on rescuing. “Dante and Cage will die, if they’re not already dead. The Grounders have Lexas orders to kill them as well.” She knew she didn’t even need to try to get them to spare the two of them, it would be futile. Blood must have blood and for once she could understand. They would die, there was simply no way around that, no matter what happened. While Cage was the true maniac, Dante had allowed Grounders to be drained and killed for years, causing countless casualties. It was their ways. They had to have at least him.

“Octavia came with her people through the mines.” She was probably already up in the midst of battle, proving herself to Indra again. For a moment Clarke wondered what it would mean for Bellamy. If Octavia stayed in Tondc, which she probably would, would he go with her? He was her older brother. His loyalties lay with her first and foremost, which was why she lied, back when she still thought they could save Tondc, when she still thought so. “Trust me, your sister can handle herself very well. She’s… Indras second now.”

And as such she actually had a rather high ranking positions with the Grounders of Tondc, one that made her worthy of being killed by Lexa. Her voice would have been heard and that’s what she had been afraid of, wasn’t it? Turns out Octavia was never the one to fear. But it meant she had to keep a close eye on Bellamy as well. Could she do that in Polis? Clarke couldn’t look at him as she spoke. “Lexa wants to show it to me.” Whatever it would mean for her, she had to go there. She had to try and strengthen this alliance, even if it meant... being with Lexa, despite her reservations. Whatever was best for her people.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

They most definitely couldn't treat them all. The amount of people here and the amount of blood they would need . . . well, there was a reason Cage had started drilling. He was taking as much as was humanly possible; draining people for all they had. Her next words about Dante and Cage dying caused Bellamy to pause in thought once again. "Cage, I understand. But Dante. He was pretty oblivious to a lot of this, Clarke. He even helped me a bit." Bellamy didn't think Dante deserved the same fate as his psychotic son. The man was forcibly demoted and imprisoned. "We can keep him locked up, but he doesnt't deserve what Cage does." He wasn't as vile or inhumane. Yet with Lexa's orders . . . Bellamy wasn't sure if there was a way to stop it. They were told to kill all the Mountain Men. Hell they would have killed him as well. They weren't wasting a second, and for good reason.

While Bellamy knew that Octavia could handle herself . . . he still felt a bit surprised to hear that she had become Indra's second. He didn't know how he felt about that, but if anything . . . she was learning how to fight from these people. She was becoming a warrior, if she wasn't one already. "She's alright then," he said aloud with relief, somehow needing to hear it for even if he wouldn't accept the thought . . . he still was glad to know that Octavia was fine. Despite her being in Tondc. "Leave it O to find a way to become Indra's second," he said with a slight smile. He was proud of her, and knew how important it was for her to do this. She had embraced Lincoln's culture and she had found a way to develop a bond with Indra, who was so strongly opposed to them. That was before though. This alliance certainly changed everything.

Clarke's answer to her reason for going to Polis was far from settling, and Bellamy didn't fail to notice the way she didn't look at him when she answered. It sounded so, casual. As if she was going just because Lexa wanted her to. "Hey," he said in a low voice, his hand reaching out to her arm. He stood in front of her, stopping her and standing directly ahead of her so that she would look at him. "You're going just cause Lexa wants you to?" He asked, opposing to the idea. "We need you here Clarke. Your people need you." It would take time to settle everything, to figure things out, to clean up this mess. The Grounders wouldn't stick around for it . . . and with Lexa going, did that mean Clarke would too? Just so the Grounder commander could show her Polis?

[/font][/div][/div][/div]

[Clarke Griffin]

“It’s not our choice, Bellamy.” Not their jurisdiction. So many Grounders died while Dante knew about it. He might not have initiated it, but he was accepting it. “We can’t deny them that anymore, Bellamy. The consequences would be to grave. They mean it when they say blood must have blood. If we deny them that, they might return to killing us. Or the other people here. There is no way around it anymore.” No way for her to stop it. Dante would meet his end, so his people could live. Something told her, he, too, would consider it a small price to pay at the end of this. 

“She’s good. She’s… done a lot of good, Bellamy.” She had helped the survivors of Tondc and as luck would have it she was not within the range of the bomb killing people. She knew she had lied to him, but he had to be focused on his task, not worried about whether Clarke would reach the city in time or not. That day was something she would have to deal with still, but didn’t know how to yet. She’d figure it out. For now she had him back safely and their people were safe or as good as safe. That’s what mattered. But apparently not all that mattered to him as he stopped her. 

“That’s exactly why I need to go, Bellamy For our people. Look this alliance is weak. We can’t have any illusions about this. Their leader is Lexa. She could just call it off. Right now what holds this alliance together is a common enemy, Mount Weather. Later saving the Reapers, maybe. But what then? What would we have to offer for them? Nothing. Lexa could make them turn around now and slaughter all of us. So if she wants me to come to Polis with her, I have no choice but to go. She’s the commander. She gets what she wants and right now, after that, she wants me. So she’ll get it so our people are safe!”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Not their choice. They couldn't deny the Grounders that. Bellamy didn't like the sound of all that. As if they were servants of the Grounders doing their bidding. When they all knew damn well that the Grounders wouldn't have gotten this far without them. But it was evident that Clarke had no intention of trynig to stop them from killing Dante. As if they were continuing to appease what the Grounders wanted. It almost sounded as if they were . . . giving up. Doing the Grounders bidding rather than what they knew was right. "I don't doubt she did," Bellamy said in a low voice, though strong with sincerity. He knew his sister was strong, willing to fight for what she believed in. The thought of her in Tondc had terrified him, and only motivated him to keep going and doing everything within his power to stop the Mountain Men.

It wasn't until Clarke presented her reason for going that Bellamy truly could not remain silent and just appease the Grounders. "Our alliance has always been weak. You going with them won't change that." She was right. What had created that alliance was a common enemy. But that didn't stop them from accusing and startng to cut Raven when they believed she had attempted to poison Lexa. "What if Lexa wants to keep you hostage? What if she just wants to control us by keeping you close?" It would work too, considering Clarke's position among their people. "We all know how flippant she is," he added, ensuring his voice was low so that they would not be overheard. "She could change her mind in the blink of an eye, and then what? We can't walk on eggshells with them all the time. When does it stop? When do we stop giving them what they want?" Never.

Because they would keep demanding things of them. They had demanded Finn, and they got him. They had demanded Raven, they got her. Now Clarke? Bellamy wasn't going to let that happen. "You going will weaken us, Clarke. We need you here. It's safest and best, for everyone." But most of all, for her. He didn't trust Lexa, nor the other Grounders. Lexa commanded them based on what was best for her people. "This place can be good for us. We can fortify and protect ourselves." Especially from the Grounders. They wouldn't be as vulnerable as they had at Camp Jaha. Even the Grounders themselves wouldn't have been able to get in without them.

"We're not their prisoners. And you going, will make you one." And in turn, them. Having to appease to what they wanted. This place had resources, shelter. Protection. Especially from the Grounders. So why the hell did they have to give Lexa what she wanted. The more they did, the more she could manipulate and control them and Bellamy would not stand for it. They could be just as strong. They may not have the numbers, but they had the resources. Not that he wanted to go to war with them. He just refused to be prisoners and serve them to whatever way they so desired.

[Clarke Griffin]

“That’s not what she wants, Bellamy.” But how was she to tell him the truth of what Clarke knew the other girl wanted. The many had been selfish initially, but through that everyone could see how protective he was of his sister and she heard he had been equally protective of his mother, of every woman in his life. He never underestimated any girl, but if he could protect them with his body and strength, he’d do it, ever underestimating their ability, just knowing there were limits to everyone. He was always willing to push his own for others, as he had done here in Mount Weather. Clarke unconsciously licked her lips. He wouldn’t like it, she knew. He would reject her reasoning and try harder t make her stay. And he wasn’t wrong. All the points he made, he wasn’t wrong at all. She could decide to hold her hostage. She could use her against them, try to control them trough her. Or Clarke could control her through it. It was all a matter of how she planned it. She could do it. 

“Bellamy. I know it’s dangerous. And I know staying here… Lexa wants me to be with her. As her girlfriend. Right now that would mean I would have power with her and the others. Right now her having feelings for me is good for us. It could strengthen the alliance, Bellamy. Right now being with her could be good for us. I could try and influence her. I can try and make the alliance hold. If that’s the price, it’s a small price to pay for our peoples safety.” It was slightly terrifying, too. But she had in a way asked for it. It could backfire, Clarke was more than aware of that.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

It wasn't what she wanted? Bellamy wanted to ask exactly what it was that Lexa wanted then, but Clarke soon answered his question. Lexa wanted Clarke to be with her . . . as a partner. Well, Bellamy sure as hell hadn't been expecting that. He just looked at Clarke as this revelation began to process in his mind. Now, he understood what she was doing. This scenario was a bit too familiar. His mother had done things, similar things in order to protect Octavia. It had been a large reason as to why he wanted to join the guard. He hated every second of it. Of seeing the bastard grope his mother. Of her leaving at the late hour, fully aware of what was happening.

And what. Clarke was going to give herself to Lexa? Despite Bellamy's own feelings for Clarke, this wasn't about that. He could tell from her choice of words and the way she spoke about it . . . that this wasn't necessarily something that Clarke wanted to do, but rather, something she felt she had to do. Bellamy needed to make sure though. He clenched his jaw, feeling an anger building inside of him though he looked completely calm and stoic.

"Clarke, I'm going to ask once. Is this what you want?" He didn't want to hear her say that it was what had to be done for their people. It was dangerous. So damn dangerous. Not to mention how it would affect Clarke. But he needed to ask her. While his gut told him that Clarke didn't share the same feelings toward Lexa, he needed to be sure. As all this continued to register, this was the one question he had to ask. The only one that seemed relevant before he knew how to proceed.

[Clarke Griffin]

Trust Bellamy Blake to ask the real questions, the hard ones that could actually make her reconsider her choice – unlike others. Her mother could address her morality, but Bellamy could do that, too. To question her way of thinking though, that was her Dad and now Bellamy, too. It sent a shiver down her spine just thinking about what she was about to do, what it actually meant for her. Lying to Bellamy was no option. She had lied to him before, to protect him. But under those circumstances there was no way she’d even consider it.

“Do you mean if I want to be with Lexa? Bellamy, she had Finn killed. She wanted to have your sister assassinated. She had Raven tortured. She had Gustus, her closest guard killed, just like that. She would probably love your head on a platter. She would have not even blinked while she had her people slaughter us. Do I want to be with her? No.” She didn’t feel something for her. She couldn’t. She had caused so much pain, so much doubt even in Clarke herself. She placed this deep guilt on her, that would make her want to cry out, if she didn’t force herself to stay strong.

“But if you mean if I want to do this as in if I really want to go give myself to her for our people? Yes. I’d do it in my heartbeat.” Clark smiled sadly at that. “Who would have thought that I’d one day consider selling myself like a common prostitute, just to protect out people? I don’t… want it, but if it saves our people I’ll do it gladly... Maybe I'm good enough for that”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

All Bellamy needed to hear was that she did not want to be with Lexa. This wasn't something she wanted, but rather, something she felt she had to do. Much in the same way his mother had given herself to a man she did not love. They didn't have a lot being of low status, and protecting Octavia had been of paramount importance. But Bellamy was all too aware that it was also how he had been approved to join the Guard as a cadet. Because of what his mother could do to influence the one who decided. He had hated every second of it. And he wasn't about to let another woman he deeply cared about condemn herself to the same fate. "Clarke, I would rather fight an army of Grounders, than give you up to them." He would rather die than see her in the situation she was suggesting she put herself in.

"And I think you'll find that everyone shares that feeling." Her mother. Kane. No one would be cruel or sadistic enough to wish for her to have this cruel fate. He looked at Clarke intently, as he continued speaking. "There are some things that you can't come back from, and this is one of them." Though his mother had hidden it, he had seen glimpses of her face when she returned. She didn't think Bellamy knew when he was younger, but he had. He could see her disgust, her discomfort. But she would do it. She did what she had to do, though Bellamy wished that was not the case. He did not fail to realize what Clarke had revealed . . . that Lexa had tried to assassinate his sister. There were questions in his mind, as well as anger in his heart for hearing that . . . but right now, he needed to talk Clarke off the ledge before she jumped into a life that he never wanted to see her enter. He would ask more about that later.

"If you want to protect our people, then stay with us." That was all there was to it. "We'll stand stronger together. But this . . . life, giving yourself to someone like this, it's not the way. Trust me, Clarke." He knew. He'd seen what it could do, the way that it could eat away at a woman's soul. He had never told anyone what his mother had gone through to protect them . . . but if it came down to it, Clarke may change that. If it meant that he could convince her to stay, then he would tell her that he knew just what he was talking about. "Tell her no. And we'll deal with the aftermath together." He paused for a moment, aware that his mind was made up about this already, even though he still hoped he could change hers. "And if you don't, then I'm coming with you." Whether she liked it or not. Bellamy wasn't asking for her permission. He wasn't going to send her off on her own with Lexa. Absolutely not.

[Clarke Griffin]

How…. Why did he know things like that? Or think to know them? Why could he speak with this sense of confidence that suggested he knew something about this? Was this just Bellamy or did he actually know something? Both was more than possible knowing him. It made her think though. He was obviously right. There just were lines people couldn’t uncross and she already crossed a lot of them. Clarke couldn’t imagine how she was supposed with all she has seen and done, but she had to. And knowing a few of their friends, she could not depend on them to help her heal. Just this option would not allow her to heal at all. She suddenly felt reminded of a woman she had to take care of on the Ark, who had gone so far and ended up dead on her table. What if this was where she was headed? She loaded burden upon burden on her shoulder, how long until she broke? With this, she felt like it was a given that she would eventually.

Her next move was kind of natural to her then. She moved forward, wrapping just one arm around him and placing her head on his shoulder, sighing deeply. She didn’t know about her mother or Kane, maybe they would approve of her leaving, but at least she now knew he still wanted to protect her. And he was good, he was alive. “We don’t have to decide this yet. For now, we have to get our people home. Settle the Mountain people and.. you probably haven’t slept in days, so we deserve some rest, too.” And then they could sit down and decide calmly. But… she’d lie if she said she wasn’t tempted to just stay, if only to make sure he’d be save – again. “We’ll tell her no, if there is no other way to uphold the alliance any other way.”

Bellamy Blake