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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 8, 2015 18:59:15 GMT
Never spending too much time at the Camp or at the Grounder settlements was the perfect solution for Clarke. She still couldn’t really deal with being around her people for too long, nor with being around the Grounders for too long. One culture condemned her for the choice she was forced to made, the other worshiped her for the very same one. Both were extremes. Only the leaders of the cultures saw more of what she really did, of what they were forced to do. Clarke took the responsibility in front of the Grounders alone, not wanting to subject Monty or Bellamy to the pain of hearing your misdeeds glorified.
Clarke was glad not to have to walk back alone. While the peace remained with the Grounders and they had offered even the rogue groups help, she still didn’t feel all too comfortable in the wild. There could be animals out there, like the gorilla and of course the panthers. Clarke always felt more comfortable if it was two and the most comfortable with Bellamy close by.
As they entered the camp, even Clarke felt it, saw it even. Something was different. Something happened. People were looking at them. While she was used to disapproving looks, they now saw right through her, straight at Bellamy, with something akin to pity and pain in their eyes. Whatever had changed had to do with him. She reached for his arm instinctively, fingers wrapping around his wrist, as if to feel his pulse, but really holding him, wanting him to feel her warmth so he knew she was there for him, whatever it would turn out to be. Her believe was supported by her mother and Kane approaching them – not them, him. For her, it was her mothers look that gave it al away. She held his wrist just a little tighter, hoping it would make it easier. Maybe it was because she was thinking a bit clearer, maybe it was not the case. But the way her mother looked, their words, it was obvious to her. She didn’t even have to look at Lincoln to know. Octavia was gone.
“Can we see her?” She wouldn’t leave him alone with this. “Or…” Clarkes mother shook her head. “She looks bad, Clarke. It might not be the best idea.” Clarke turned to Bellamy, wanting to take both his hands into hers, but he was too fast, pushing past her, Marcus and her mother, straight to medical. That answered the question in her head, though for her there was no question anymore. She just sprinted after him, needing to be there for him, should he need her. The sight of her was bad, though. Clarke had seen a lot of bodies by now, but rarely did one effect her like this. She didn't know what to do. Her focus had to be on Bellamy, but damn, to know Octavia, lively, happy Octavia, the girl that chased butterflies was dead, hurt. And they never got to make up. But at the very least she could be there for her brother. Though she didn't know how much touch he could take right now. He was normally quite the touchy person, but now? She just didn't know. Clarke placed her hand softly just above his hip, staying far enough away, that it would be easy for him to reject the touch or to reach out and pull her close. Whatever the hell he needed.
Bellamy Blake
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 8, 2015 0:08:45 GMT
“Of course you can.” Clarke placed her hand on Bellamys cheek, loving the feel of his skin under her fingers, the small ridges of almost invisible scars, which she could trace in her sleep, despite the lack of sexual activities at the moment. They still spent time together if they could, if Hope was sleeping, but their cuddling mostly resulted in sleeping, for obvious reasons. It was still enough for her to learn his scars by now. And he probably knew hers like the back of his own hand. She loved it. She loved how it turned out. Of course she still didn’t like to look back to the downsides of pregnancy, but it got them their perfect little daughter. It… was the perfect story actually.
“Maybe you should tell us about this King and how he met his princess. And how they made a home in the new kingdom together.” Clarke was referring to her story with Bellamy. She was quite surprised that their daughter remained quiet. Usually she would babble right now, telling them what she wanted to hear in her baby language. Clarke, surprised by that, looked at her daughter. The surprised dissipated soon enough. She was making a face, a quite upset little face, that was soon accompanied by a whimper. The baby was just about to start to cry. She was probably hungry again or needed a change. “What do you think, Bell? Hungry or needing a change?” Food would be the easiest for them and it would make sure she’d nap, just like Daddy wanted them, too. They could just remain here, she could drink and then rest, while he told them a story.
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 7, 2015 22:55:10 GMT
“And if the odds are wrong, he will still go down, kicking and screaming or not.” Murphy was right. Bellamy would fight, tooth and nail to survive and to protect the others. He was their joker in so many ways, but he was still only human. If they were unlucky he would get discovered. If they got unlucky she really sent him to his death. And what then? What would she do? Their plan stood and fell with Bellamys success. There was no way for them to enter the mountain if he could not disable the defense systems from the inside. There was no way for them to succeed if whoever they had inside wasn’t mobilized and ready to help them strike. Not to mention she knew know that staying there had been a foolish idea from the others. If only they had listened to her. Then again maybe that would have resulted in all of their deaths.
“Why? If I did, I’d sign his death sentence. Imagine me going there for him. They’d kill him as soon as they make the connection. I can’t go after him, even if I want to.” Maybe her weakness had been what she needed. Maybe she should have listened to that. Maybe she should have listened to her weakness, but looking back didn’t help anything. She had to deal with the worry in her heart and the looks from the others. She was dealing with the Grounders like she was the single leader of their people. But if they didn’t want to do what had to be done, was it her fault? Certainly not. Clarke just had to adjust to whatever was thrown at her.
“You really want to give me guns while being in the same room with me?” Did he trust her with him or what was going on there. Though Clarke found that this was an interesting offer indeed. She wouldn’t have to think about strategies and other things while doing something with her hands. Maybe her mind would not wander then. But then there was the whole problem that she did not know how to clean a gun. Bellamy taught her how to shoot, but not how to clean it.
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 7, 2015 21:59:09 GMT
“You have authority over who sits next to you.” Clarke began. At least in her mind. She was offering her the authority, it was up to this grounder to take it or now. Since she already said she didn’t mind, Clarke sat down, facing the fire. It reminded her of the big bonfire at the drop ship, back when life was easier, back when all they had to worry about was survival, not a war, not around a thousand people killed at her hands. It was a short reminder, before the others words ripped her back to the bitter reality of her deeds and the consequences in either culture found in the parts of earth she knew so far. In all cultures known to her, she had a reputation she wasn’t entirely comfortable with.
“I haven’t come to socialize.” She answered, almost softly. How was she meant to socialize when half the people around them, maybe even the other Grounder, thought she killed so many people – the numbers kept clearly rising in tales and there was nothing she could do to stop it. That was just how oral tradition of tales worked; things got exaggerated and took up a life of their own. There was nothing she could do to stop it, so she just lived with it. It wasn’t like she had another choice. “If I spoke to someone, it would end up in weird admiration of how many people I killed. I just want to sit here and enjoy the fire and the noise.”
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 7, 2015 0:10:52 GMT
Was she giving him permission? For a moment Clarke just focused on the man she loved as he asked her this important – at least important to her – question. Would she be okay with him having a child with someone else, if she could not have any more children? Clarke tried to listen to what she felt. And it didn’t take long to know what she really felt. She would hate it. She would hate him for it. It would feel like she was nothing but someone to bear children with, she would feel like crap, truly miserable and used. She would hate the child he would have with another woman. And she would hate him more than she did at their worst. Their relationship would never be able to survive this. “No. I couldn’t bear that. I was joking. I… I couldn’t deal with that, Bellamy.” If his desire for a child really drove her into another womans arms, Clarke knew she could not recover from the implications it would bring. She would not be able to shake the feeling of her only be worthy when she could have children and used and now worthless. Not that he was giving her the idea at the moment. But if it came to it, she would not be able to deal. She would function for Hope and any sibling of hers, but that was it.
“Bellamy.” Clarke almost giggled as he brought up the old observation. She held her hand out against her small daughters back as he shifted closer. Taking the cue, she, too shifted closer, so they could comfortably touch and both cuddle with the baby between them and each other at the same time. “I think we both know it was fascination. You know how she looks at you when you’re reading something for her. You could read a manual for her and she’d still be fascinated. She’s fascinated by you.” As if on cue Hope lazily babbled into Bellamys chest, highlighting her baby statement by a waving arm. Clarke grinned. “Same for me. You have this deep, soothing voice. I swear, all you would need to do is tell a story and both Hope and I would sleep like a baby, which is only accurate in her case.”
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 6, 2015 23:12:18 GMT
The struggles he had to come back to consciousness were well known for Clarke. She had seen it in a lot of patients before. But this patient she cared about more. In the end his pain was a bit part of why her decision happened so fast. She needed this man to be alive. His pain caused her almost physical pain. And now she might have fucked up. Clarke waited, holding his hand gently in hers, as he slowly woke up. She did not want to disrupt the process. After she spoke to him, his reply was delivered in typical Bellamy manner. Of course he wanted answers first. That was just Bellamy. She couldn’t blame him, though.
“As far as the surgery is concerned, yes. We tried to fix the nerve endings as best as we could. We would have had equipment to check if they are working on the Ark, but not down here. So we have to wait to see if we managed to save them. They have been reattached, but that doesn’t mean they’re functioning again.” Clarke hated the fact that she always wanted to be as honest with him as she could. She couldn’t lie to him about his health. “We will have to wait and see how it all turns out, I’m afraid. I am hoping for the best.” But she was still fearing the worst. It was much more likely, unfortunately. “Sorry for knocking you out. I thought it would be better and easier.”
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 6, 2015 22:39:39 GMT
“Nope, it wasn’t his first time. Unless he was lying and a friend of mine was lying as well, which is entirely possible of course.” The perks of having grown up on Alpha Station. Everyone was vain as hell. Only the odd person or not wasn’t. Wells was one of them and Clarke just didn’t care. Other than that a lot of Alpha station kids were elitist as hell and as such it was almost forbidden for a boy his age not to have has sex. For a girl Clarkes ages as well. She was ashamed to even think she had given in, but she had no inhibitions – moonshine – and the party was good, he was good company in her state and one thing led to her losing her virginity to a terribly untalented boy and alcohol. It was an experience for sure. Just like sleeping with Bellamy seemed to be – a way better experience.
A better experience. That got Clarke thinking. Really, things were complicated in this camp, but Bellamy was easy, at least in those terms. He had needs, she had needs, they might be compatible in that was. Maybe Finn, had he drugged them, had done them a favor, in a weird and twisted way. “Maybe we should repeat last night then.” She finally suggested, completely sincere and meaning it. “You know, friends with benefits kind of thing. Not strings attached, just sex. We’re their leaders, we have needs. Best to take care of them, right?” And who better than each other? They would not get vulnerable in front of another of the 100 again, just with each other and Clarke trusted him enough to not use it against her and she would not use it against him.
“Yeah, it works pretty damn well. Monty knows his plants. He will get pretty busy this winter, I think. There will be sicknesses, freezes and all that.” She would need his help and so much more. They should do a lot more to prepare for winter. “Looking at winter a friends with benefits could be very beneficial for us as well.”
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 5, 2015 1:51:08 GMT
Before Clarke could even consider answering, she had to walk out. She just realized something was missing with their setup. While Bellamy took care of their daughter and toed off his shoes in order to get into their bed, Clarke rushed back to the living room to pick up the baby blanket and her daughters plushy. If the girl did fall asleep, she wanted the two objects close in case they needed it for her. To her surprise she managed to get back to the room before Bellamy really finished his musings. One more baby at least? She liked his way of thinking. Really, Clarke loved being a mother. She had never felt this kind of unconditional love for someone before. She could even understand her mothers actions, however misguided they were, but it made so much more sense now. And really, Clarke loved being a mother. She loved holding her daughter, she loved changing her, she loved getting up at night for her, everything. Maybe with a second baby everything would be settled down enough, that she could full on enjoy the pregnancy as well.
“I’m holding you to that, Blake. With the population laws officially gone, we could have children until my body physically can’t do it anymore. And then you’re free to seek a new woman to finish your little Army of Blakes for world dominion.” Not that he ever implied that. She was joking. Honestly, he would break her heart then. But then again, Bell was not the person to leave his kids under any circumstances. He was a father, he was a father through and through. It sometimes felt like she was watching him truly being himself when he held her and cooed to her and swayed her and was just with her. This was another reason why she wanted another. She wanted to cling to this unguarded meant to be version of Bellamy. With the intention of actually really trying to nap herself, Clarke quickly changed into her night shorts and shirt before slipping under the cover. A content sigh escaped her lips. This was another of those nice moments she really learned to relish, just getting to lay there with her family, napping, watching the baby move or just watching either her or him sleep. It has become so familiar so easily.
“Remember when only your voice could calm her down when I was still pregnant with her?”
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 4, 2015 23:00:55 GMT
“It is described with taste. At least that’s my opinion.” Clarke had learned early on how other people had different taste and believed different things to be tasteful and what not. Clarke was raised differently than kids in other stations, so there was always a difference between her and others, though in essence they were all only humans, with flaws and weird opinions, strengths and weaknesses. This reflected her taste and if he would start to read it, he would get a better idea of who she was. Clarke opened the book and placed it on her knees. She glanced outside at earth again, at the beautiful distanced planet they should be living on.
He made her think. Of course she was usually thinking a lot. She was training to become a doctor, obviously, but he made her think about other things. He made her remember how easy it had been to be with Wells, as just friends and how hard things got when they became a couple. It was the ease of his company that made her think about how different things should be. For him age apparently didn’t matter at all. He spent time with her, with his younger girlfriend. Maybe things really should just be much easier. Wells should still feel like he was her best friend, right? Even if they were together now.
“I should feel at ease with Wells, shouldn’t I? I shouldn’t doubt my relationship. Spending time with him should be as easy as it is to spend time with you… and we just met.”
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 4, 2015 22:30:22 GMT
She wasn’t even sure if she really needed that rest. Her body said so, but could she trust her body at the moment? It was full with those conflicting emotions and information, that she couldn’t place. Maybe she was drained, logically she was weak, due to the blood loss. She almost let herself bleed out. It took a while for the body to replace the blood. It would eventually, but it would take time, maybe she would get hurt again before that and that way she would remain this weak for longer. Whatever happened, it would happen. Maybe she would heal, physically and mentally, but there was no way for her to tell ahead of time. She squeezed his hand softly, as much as she could.
“To be honest, yes. I want you to stay.” It was the simple answer. Before this their friendship was so easy. She could trust him, she could talk to him, joke with him – even gossip with him, because who else would do this? Now things felt different. Gossiping and talking felt like it was in another life. He had a girlfriend, maybe she was the one woman he would stay with, his woman. Maybe not. But in either case, she missed the ease in which they could be together and just talk. She missed him as her best friend. Even if it would never lead to more, she wanted him still in her life as her best friend. That meant she had to protect him. “But I have to warn you. I have terrible nightmares. And there is no way to tell what state I am in when I wake up. I could be completely out of it again. So… you might want to run.”
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 4, 2015 12:55:30 GMT
“She was always your girl.” And always would have been. Clarke knew that now. Bellamy loved her. Bellamy had loved her for quite a while, which was why he stayed away when she returned, thinking little Hope was Finns biological daughter. She would have understood that, but even then it hurt, because Bellamy had been her best friend for so long and she loved him. She loved him since before they conceived their daughter, but it took her a while to realize her feelings. Maybe it was when she realized she was carrying his kid, maybe a bit before that, either way, it took her ages to admit her feelings to herself. And either way, Bellamy would have come around, she was sure of that now. His baby or not, Bellamy would have eventually come around and helped her. And him delivering her – assuming this would have happened under those circumstances as well – would have sealed the deal. Had he not been her biological father, he probably would have still been self- appointed adoptive father. And even if he hadn’t been her biological father, he would still be a better father than Finn could ever be. Looking back, Clarke realized she wouldn’t have wanted him around her daughter under any circumstances. She would always have ended up being his girl. Now, though, she had the curls to prove she really was his daughter, in more than one way.
“That’s a good idea.” Given how Hope had wanted to cuddle just then, it was a good bet, that the baby was a bit tired. She would probably fall asleep between them and allow both her parents to relax, even if it might just be for an hour or two. The would need the nap, as there was no doubt it Clarkes mind, that this baby girl would not sleep through the night. She was getting there, sleeping longer and longer, but she still woke very early to get changed and fed. With their daughters approval, Clarke followed the two of them to the bedroom. She loved the sight of that. Sometimes, when both of them had no work to do, they would get Hope and let her stay in their bed for a bit, if she was awake early and they were too lazy to get up and tackle the day, because they had no reason to.
“Not too long. She’ll probably fall asleep while cuddling with us.” And neither of them would have any complaints about that. Because why should they? It was an exception, at night she would sleep in her crib again. Just then Clarke froze. She watched Bellamy handle his daughter with so much ease, swaying her softly. She watched Hopes serene expression. This was her family. And it was way too perfect to handle. “We’ll have a second one, right?” she asked softly.
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 4, 2015 0:28:23 GMT
Clarke has been taken prisoner by a Grounder clan. Probably post season 2. This could have multiple reasons, which can be discussed (to use her against the Arkers, due to her apparent new status as something almost godlike (spoilers indicate it) or just because they can, maybe even against Lexa). This could go with two options. 1. Arker: Imprisoned with her together or after her. 2. Grounder, either imprisoned with her as well, maybe from a different clan, or from that clan and going to her and in a way interact with her, maybe even the one to have caught her in the first place.
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 3, 2015 20:00:15 GMT
Even if he had offended her that was already forgotten, because Hope was just happy, getting more and more tired, but happy. She was in general a happy baby. Bad things did not yet happen in her world. Her world was full of people who just loved her, played and cuddled with her. Clarke ran her hand through her daughters soft hair, which drew a soft cooing for a reaction. She was like Bells, enjoying this. Speaking of. Clarke had to show him something, even if she would be momentarily annoyed at her. Clarke took her baby from Bellamy, turning her to rest against her shoulder despite the babies soft protests.
“Before I lie down, look at this.” Clarke placed her hand on the back of her daughters head, catching a few little curls between her fingers. She had only noticed it today as Hope had refused to wear a hat today all day. In an attempt to put it on, she had caught sight of the too familiar curls. Now there would be even less doubt about Hopes paternity, because those curls were clearly her dads. It didn’t take long for the baby to twist and try to reach back for her father, protesting with soft whimpers. “I guess that is my cue.” Clarke grinned. It was rare for either of them to catch any sleep at all, but when the baby demanded for one parent only, the other could maybe lie down and catch a little nap, even if Clarke knew it would be a really short one at most. Eventually Hope would need to be nursed again. But before she could even turn away a little fist began clutching her shirt. So much for that.
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 3, 2015 18:15:34 GMT
“A lot. Maybe would have hovercars by now.” That was actually a real possibility. The car industry had progressed fast. From the self driving car it was only a minimal jump to a hover car. But the nuclear war and everything that resulted from it stalled the progress. They had saved technology here. But due to the limited resources they could not really advance here either. That was the problem of things. They could not advance, not eve here and everything on earth was broken. She wondered what it would be like in the future. Would they manage to advance? Would the generation returning to earth manage to advance? Surely, but how far? And how would they get everyone down? Did they have enough drop ships?
“Just for your girlfriend, I get it.” She did. He appeared to be so concerned for her. He had risked a lot for the girl. Did he say she was his girlfriend or say something else? Clarke couldn’t fully remember it, though did it matter? “It’s graphic, but not pornographic. They get undressed, kiss, touch, but the act itself is never fully described, the feelings are, though.” It was a bit romanticizing the thing, but it was just a book, just a distraction for her. “How old is she?” Of course she still meant the girl. Clarke was just curious. The age could not be used against the girl, right?
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Post by Clarke Griffin on Oct 2, 2015 10:55:32 GMT
Bellamy leaving or her leaving was always heartbreaking. Their little princess was spoiled in terms of time spent with her parents, but it was due to this world. Either of them could die any day. It was a bit of a close call with her when she gave birth to Hope. Had it not been for Bellamy, she might not have survived her daughters first day in this world, but he knew what to do. He kept them alive then and now he still did. They both wanted to spend every moment with their daughter and each other, as examples have shown them how easily it could end. People died, just like that sometimes. Babies could die just like that, stop breathing, but something made her confident in their daughter: Clarke was usually not far and if she was, her mother was close. The baby always had at least one doctor close.
Clarke loved watching Bellamy come back. She loved coming back herself. The way their daughter lit up upon seeing the missing parent, the way she now babbled to communicate with them. It warmed her heart how she was in Bellamys arm, still trying to wrap her small hand around his finger, barely managing it due to the size of Bellamys hand. Hope was so obviously happy to see him and be in his arms again and especially to receive endless kisses. Hope just loved her Daddy. After their soft kiss, Clarke actually wanted to say something, to tell him that everything was fine here, but her daughter had other plans. She was simply faster and started babbling at him immediately. Hope seemed so fully concentrated on babbling, that it really seemed like she wanted to tell him everything that happened today. And maybe that was what she tried. Chuckling, Clarke placed her hand on her daughters back.
“Everything went smooth here. She ate like a champ, then played a little, napped and cuddled. You should have seen her, she eyed your side of your bed like it’s a personal offense that you’re not in it. Which might just be the case in her world. Then she ate again and played. I swear she’ll sit without support soon. And just now she decided she wanted cuddles again, which was when you came in.” And like with many young parents not much mattered beyond their babies progress. She had eaten herself, as she knew she had to, due to the fact that she was still nursing Hope – or they gave her a bottle with mothers milk – so she needed nutrition to keep herself and her beloved baby healthy and happy. “How was the hunt?”
Bellamy Blake
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