Goodbye My Lover

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Braeden Quinn

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

This was not an easy decision to make, and yet, it was simple at the same time. He would die for the ones he loved . . . literally. And this, solidifed it. People had to die in order for others to live. And Bellamy wanted the people he loved to live. He would gladly give his life for them, and that was exactly where he was headed to right now. He was going to inform the woman that he loved of his decision. He hadn't told anyone else; not his mother, or father, or grandmother, or friends. That conversation was not going to be an easy one. Just like this one would be extremely difficult. But, he was sure in his decision. He was going to do what he could, everything he could, to save the others.

That gave him the confidence he needed. Was he scared? Of course. He was only human after all. But he wouldn't regret this. The fear wasn't enough to control him. Taking a deep breath, he paused outside the door. He punched in the code before pushing the door and closing it behind him. Braeden was already approaching him. Things had been in a panic every since people found out that the Ark was dying. But there was a plan in motion, one that showed the Arkers solidarity and willingness to die for the ones they loved. He didn't say anything. Instead, he just moved toward her and wrapped his arms around her in a hug, holding her close to him. "You ok?" He asked, in a low voice, not breaking the contact of the embrace but also wanting to see how she was doing considering everything else that was going on.

[Braeden Quinn]

Braeden came back from seeing her father, and just stood there. He was going to give his life for the rest of the people on the Ark. She had wanted to be with him now, but she needed some time to adjust and gather herself before she could say goodbye to him. She had been strong, but she wanted to be weak. She'd wanted to beg, but instead she had tried every way she could to talk him out of his. Only nothing worked, and his mind was made up. So when he went to turn in his notice and take care of some things--she'd come here to be alone for a moment.

It could have been seconds or hours later that she heard the door open and Braeden turned to walk toward it. She knew who it was! Only one person had the code to her place--Bellamy Kane! Her first few steps were a walk but her last few was a jog to get to him. Wrapping her arms around him she took strength from him. "You ok?" He asked, ad Braeden looked into his eyes, and tired to be strong .. . . but this was Bellamy. "My father volunteered." She told him, grateful he was here right now.

"Did you know?" About the Ark dying. She had know he was dealing with some majorly confidential things, but she had never asked. Her tone wasn't judging, for she understood the nature of their jobs and lives. She would not have told him either if she had been told not too. She only wanted to know if this was what he had been baring alone for months. Or however long he had known.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Braeden Quinn

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy could feel that something was different. Well, something apart from the fact that over 300 people were going to die on the Ark. It was when she said the words that arms instinctively held her a little tighter, a little closer. Her father had volunteered. That made his heart ache with the loss that Braeden would suffer. Bellamy couldn't imagine either of his parents going to volunteer . . . nor could he imagine Braeden doing the same.

"I'm so sorry, Braeden," he told her, his voice thick with sincerity, uncaring of whatever emotions seeped through it right now. They were alone, they were together, there was no need to be guarded. "Is there anything I can do?" He supposed he technically had the power to stop it, but that wasn't the solution. And he knew that his own news . . . was only going to make it worse. She then asked him a question that diverted the conversation from his initial purpose of coming here. Which suited him just fine, as it was not something that he simply wanted to blurt out. Did he know. He couldn't lie to her -- though he supposed that he had been lying by ommission.

But there was no need to at this present moment. He didn't want there to be any secrets between them. He didn't want to leave anything unsaid. "Yes," he answered truthfully. "My father told me that it was." By now, everyone knew who had been floated to it thanks to the video that Abigail Griffin had released onto the Ark. "I was sworn to secrecy." He hoped she understood that, and felt the need to say it anyway. Jake Griffin had been floated for it, and his daughter arrested because she knew. Bellamy could not risk telling Braeden and it being found out. They both would have been floated. And his father may very well have been punished too.

[Braeden Quinn]

His arms around her was the only strength she felt like she had at the moment. It was if he had replaced the gravity, and the only thing holding her from falling apart was the straight of his arms. "He said his mind was made up," she told him, knowing there was no use trying to do anything against it. Her father was a stubborn man, and now he was offering his life for the Ark he had loved and served his whole life.

Bellamy also admitted that he knew about the Ark failing. Braeden nodded her head, knowing that it had to be true. She wasn't mad that he had not told her, just shocked that he had known. She wished she had been there to be more supportive of him or something. That could not have been easy to bare alone. "How bad is it really?" Had the message hit it right on the head? Or was it really worse then what they had suggested. She had heard things, about some places not have enough air to keep the citizens alive.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Braeden Quinn

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

His mind was made up. Bellamy could understand that, for his mind was also made up too. It was easy to make such a decision, when it involved protecting the people that you loved. He just continued to hold her, resting his cheek against the side of her head. She didn't seem upset with the fact that he had withhled this from her. Then again, this was Braeden. She was logical. Rational. Understanding. She . . . encompassed everything that a person could want in a partner. She was the love of his life. And he wanted her to know that.

"It's bad," he answered honestly, not about to sugar coat it for her. "But this will help." These 300 some people would help ease that pressure. For now anyway. He trusted his father. He knew he would handle this; that he would do everything he could to protect the Arkers. "Braeden . . . " He began to say as he drew his head back to look into her eyes. Her very beautiful eyes. His arms still held her, unable to let her go. He had never been able to do that. Not when they risked everything to be together. Not when his father demand it. And he wouldn't. Not until he drew his last breath. "I am going volunteer for the culling."

[Braeden Quinn]

It was bad. Braeden thought of all the stories she heard, and her heart broken for everyone. She wished she had been a smarter person and could help change things--but she liked who she was, and knew that she was never meet to be one of the ones who brains saved the day. She was brave. "Braeden . . . " He told her, and his tone caused something to move up inside her of her. A fear. It was as if she knew what he was going to say, but she couldn't think about that. "I am going volunteer for the culling." And his words crushed everything she had inside her! "Nnoo!" She said, unaware that her eyes had filled with tears until her voice came out shaken and filled with emotion. She didn't look from him, but she took a deep breath, and her voice was stronger. "No!" Her voice was stronger.

She couldn't loose him! She couldn't do this alone! It was hard enough loosing her father but her father and Bellamy? No! She couldn't do this! She could feel everything building up, and a broken feeling--a very cold feeling--filling her. This wasn't . . . . this . . . . "Please don't do this." She asked of him, "Please." She'd beg if he wanted, but she couldn't loose them both. It was too much!

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Braeden Quinn

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy saw the tears in her eyes, and hated that his words caused that. Braeden was so strong. He didn't want her to shed tears over him. She told him no, and he could hear it in her voice. The desperate plea. He wished it was easy. The decision itself was, but parting with her never would be. She had been the woman he fell in love with. The one he would risk everything for. And the one he would give up his life for. Willingly. Gladly. If she could live, if she had that chance . . . he would die, content with the knowledge. Sure in his choice. She was pleading with him, and he couldn't comply with her request. He didn't want to overplay it.

He didn't want to make it sound like he was some sort of martyr. He wasn't. It was nothing like that. He was doing this because it was all he could do to protect the people he loved. He could find no greater caues to die for than that. "Hey," he said in a soft voice, his hands moving to either side of her cheek, resting on them. His thumb caressed the softness of her skin, an even softer smile on his lips, albeit a small one, but it was still there. His eyes were fixated on hers, not bothering to keep himself guarded. The affection he felt for her was apparent in his gaze. And would be furthermore in his words. Words he'd never said to her. Ones that he felt the desperate need to say now. He didn't want anything to be left unsaid. "I love you."

[Braeden Quinn]

"Hey," She heard his voice and it made her heart break--because it wasn't a tone that said he was going to agree with what she said. It was one that that he had made up his mind, and that he was going to do this. That there was nothing she could do to change his mind--like her father. She had fallen for a man like her father, and this moment only made her see that so very clear. He was going to do this no matter how much she cried, and begged. It wasn't something she could control.

"I love you." That made her cry. The tears that she had not let fall before, finally did. NOW he told her! They had never spoke the words between them, and now when he came to say goodbye he would tell her! "Then live for me!" She asked, "I love you! I want to be with you! Please! I choose you. I will quit the guard so we cane be together! I will do whatever you ask of me! I am begging you, Bellamy . . . . . Please don't make me loose you!"

She had tried to keep herself from thinking about the future because their relationship wasn't one that fit into a future of their careers. But if it meant loosing him--then she'd give it up! It had been her dream, but she had learned that some things were bigger then dreams! Some things she wanted more. "I can't do this alone."

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Braeden Quinn

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She told him to live for her. But in this case, in his circumstance . . . it was about dying for her. And the others. That was what his love for her drew him to do. She returned the words, and it cauesd an ever so slight and soft smile to form on his lips, hearing the words that he had longed to hear, yet almost feared at the same time. Their relationship had been wonderful. But a secret. And he'd always wanted more than that for her. She could have it now. She could live, move on, be with someone who wouldn't risk her career and her very life. He leaned forward, his forehead rested against hers as he lowered a hand so that only the other remained on her cheek.

"I need to do this, Braeden," he began to explain. "If I can do anything to protect you, to protect others, this is it." This was where it lay. This meant one less person would have to die for the culling. This meant, he could honor his family's name. Where his father was needed on the Ark, Bellamy could be among those who were sacrificing their lives for it. It felt like it was where he needed to be. "I would never ask or want you to quit the guard. I wouldn't change a damn thing about us." Because it had been perfect. She had been the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with . . . and apparently, that was limited now. "Except maybe the fact that we got caught how we did," he said on a slightly lighter note, recalling the image of his father walking in on them.

[Braeden Quinn]

He leaned forward, his forehead rested against hers as he lowered a hand so that only the other remained on her cheek; and his warmth soaked into her skin. Which was the only warmth she felt in the cold. His words had left her feeling desperate and cold--he was volunteering. He had told her her loved her but she didn't want to hear it like this! She wished he had told her while they were in bed, flushed with laughter from their play. Not as a goodbye!

"I need to do this, Braeden," He told her, and she shook her head no slightly; not enough to push him off her, just enough to make sure he knew she didn't agree. "If I can do anything to protect you, to protect others, this is it." He was more valuable then this! To her and to everyone! He was a leader, and one who protected everyone! He didn't abuse his power, and he took care of the people! He was what she wanted to be! "I would never ask or want you to quit the guard. I wouldn't change a damn thing about us." He would never ask, but she wished she had done it sooner! She wished that she'd have done it, and admitted her loved hm rather then wast time hiding! "Please," She tried to whisper, but she wasn't sure sound came out. "Except maybe the fact that we got caught how we did,"

He wasn't funny! She closed her eyes as a sob tried to come up, but Braeden held it back. Looking back into his eyes, her hands lifted to his face. She loved him. He was all she had left since her father was going too. And he was right. This was helping everyone. "I love you." She whispered, leaning up to kiss his lips. As she pulled away her face was calmer, stronger. It was clear she had made a choice. "I'm going with you."

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Braeden Quinn

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She stated that she loved him, words that he had never heard before today . . . words that he would think of in his last moments. He wished he had said them sooner. That they had been able to be together, free of consequences. He had felt it for so long, and the moment was now bittersweet. He closed his eyes when she kissed him, taking in the taste and feel of her lips, basking in it, holding on to all the emotions it made him feel. Even stronger now as they had exchanged their words of love. But it was what she said when she pulled away that cauesd him to pause.

He opened his eyes, looking at her, seeing that there was no hesitation nor jest, nor even uncertainty in her gaze and the strength of her words. "No." He wasn't going to let her come with him. "You aren't coming, Braeden," he continued, but he could feel the fear and panic raising in him over the mere thought of her being in there. He knew it was unfair of him, but he didn't care. "I need you to live," he told her. That as why he was doing this. For her. For his family. It would partly be in vain if she decided to go with him . . . he couldn't let that happen. They needed her here. He needed her to be here.

[Braeden Quinn]

"No." Braeden didn't look away from his eyes, not wanting to miss anything. They had started this with no expectations but she had them now, and it was they would be together. In health or death. She didn't like the idea of him dying alone, and she would go with him. It would help everyone on the Ark. She could be there with her father and with Bellamy. She hadn't planned on going, but now she did. And she wasn't going to back down from it. If he could make this choice without her, she could make her own. And that was to stay by his side.

"You aren't coming, Braeden," She wasn't leaving him. "I need you to live," "And what of what I need, Bellamy? I need you." She asked him, her voice still emotionally from before but sure as well. "I've loved you since I was 16," They had grown part for a bit in the middle, but she had still loved him in her own way. It had only turned into this stronger love--real love--in the past few years "I want to be by your side. I can hold your hand, and my fathers, and no one has to die alone. We can do this together."

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Braeden Quinn

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She told him that she needed him. He knew it was hypocritical of him, to tell her he was going but would not allow her to. He was doing this for her, and at the same time, did not want to put that on her conscience. He didn't want her to feel the burden of guilt over it. He was doing it for the same reasons her father was: because they both loved her -- just obviously in very differnet ways. She told him she loved him since she was 16, and he felt the same way. He hadn't been in love with her at the time, but she always held a special place in his heart.

She wanted to be by his side, hold his hand . . . not for him to be alone. Though he technically would be alone, he knew what she meant. It was different dying with a loved one -- yet it was not something he wanted. Not at all. "I would rather die alone than watch you die with me." He wasn't so selfish that he wanted her to die with him. Though, perhaps it could also be seen as selfish for wanting her to live without him, knowing how she felt about him. "Especially when you have a chance to live." A fighting chance to survive on the Ark . . . and possibly, Earth. Maybe. "Take that chance, and live for the both of us." She was strong, she would be fine, he knew that. "I love you, so much. I can't be in that room, knowing that you are too, Braeden. You need to stay here. You need to live." That was all there was to it. She needed to live. He needed her to live.

[Braeden Quinn]

"I would rather die alone than watch you die with me." She felt the same, but she rather neither of them died. Though now that she was thinking about it, the clearer her him was becoming. The more details that she had not thought of before was becoming clear. "Especially when you have a chance to live." For how long? "Take that chance, and live for the both of us." She couldn't. Not without him. This wouldn't be how they ended things.

"I love you, so much. I can't be in that room, knowing that you are too, Braeden. You need to stay here. You need to live." She needed him too. "For how long?" She asked him, voicing the details her mind was connecting too. "This is not a fix, this is just buying time. The Ark will die. If they could not fix it in the year they had, how will they now?" They wouldn't. It was only a matter of time now. "I'd rather be by your side, then without you. I want to do this with you, then try to live any length of time without you. What of the next culling? When we need less people?" She didn't want to try and face these times alone. She didn't want to live and see it all happen again, only to be reminded of loosing him. "Please don't ask that of me. I know what I want, Bellamy--and it's to be there with you, and my father." Tilting her head up she kissed him, lightly on the lips, before pulling back so her forehead was pressed to his. She had to be on her toes to do it, but she wanted to be touching him.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Braeden Quinn

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She asked him for how long. A fair question. A legitimate concern. But that didn't mean he felt like he was doing this in vain. That it was useless for people to die now. They were giving the others a chance to figure it out. And they would. He just remained silent, listening to her words, though not accepting them. He didn't want to spend these last moments arguing with her . . . though he already had an idea in mind about what he could do to stop her. Where words failed him, actions would compensate for that. He closed his eyes once more when he felt her lips against him, prompting him to wrap his arms around her, wanting to hold her in these moments. She may still believe she was going with him . . . but for him, this was goodbye. He would not have this sensation again, and he wanted to bask in it for however long limited time would permit him to.

"My father will do everything in his power to protect the people," Bellamy began to say. That, was why he knew none of this would be done in vain. That was why he could take comfort in the fact that he would die, because his father would save the others. "I have faith in him," Bellamy told her in a low voice. "You should too." His words weren't a demand, nor a harsh statement. They were softly spoke. A plea; a gentle urge. His father was going to need support, and he knew that Braeden was one of the strongest candidates for that. "Don't give up on the others, Braeden. I believe in this. I believe that he'll find a way to save our people." Not the Chancellor, but Marcus Kane. And Bellamy knew he wasn't the only one who held such faith and hope in his father. It was why Marcus could never be among the 320. For if he was, no one had that hope. It was also why Braeden needed to be here. So that Bellamy knew that the Ark was left with people that he trusted emphatically.