Goodbye My Lover

[Braeden Quinn]

"My father will do everything in his power to protect the people," She knew that, but she also knew that if it had not happened, then chances were it would not be happening again any time soon. Her faith was in the practical, where his was in this father. "I have faith in him," Which would be fine, if his father was an engineer, but he was a guard. They weren't the hero here. They followed orders. "You should too." But she wasn't going tot ell him that. He loved his father, and she wanted him to have that faith. Even if she had to lie to make sure he kept it. "Then we will give him that chance." By going to the culling together.

"Don't give up on the others, Braeden. I believe in this. I believe that he'll find a way to save our people." She knew he did. She wished she had more of his hope, but Bellamy had always been that one, while she had not. Braeden would give anything right now, for his hope. "I can be strong for you." She told him, but it wasn't a part of the plan to stay--it was apart of the plan to go. "I love you, Bellamy. I wished I had said something sooner." Because right now, she thought of all their wasted time where they had followed the rules. The rules of their fathers, rather then the ones of their hearts. "I never should have put my career before you--because you have come first for me, for a while now."

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Braeden Quinn

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy listened to her say that they would give them that chance, that she would be strong for him. She was never anything but strong. That was one of the many reasons he loved her. She was strong -- in character, physically, emotionally. "I wish I had said it sooner too," he admitted to her. He couldn't change that though, no matter how much he wanted to. He would have said it the second he had felt it. They'd been together and he wondered how different those years would have been . . . had he just admitted his feelings sooner. "I never felt that you did," he assured her. He never felt second. In fact, he feared that he had done that to her.

"I would choose you over my career," he told her flat out. He knew that now. If he had to pick between his career and Braeden . . . he would pick her. That much had been made clear by his refusal to his father to end his relationship with her. He leaned forward, resting his cheek against the side of her head, his arms wrapped around her. "You were my first, in so many ways." When it came to physical intimacy, she was his first. When it came to love, she was his first. The first woman he had ever loved. The first romantic relationship he had ever been in. "And you'll be my last." Even if he wasn't going to die in the culling. "I want you to be my last." And he hoped she understood that. It wasn't about the life they had left . . . but rather, if they had the opportunity to share the future they both wanted, he would never want nor be with, or love, another woman. She was the one for him. His soulmate.

[Braeden Quinn]

"I wish I had said it sooner too," He told her, and Braeden felt her heart break a little more. They were both on the same page, but they had not been able to turn it. So much wasted time! She could have done so much more with him had they both just spoken up. "I never felt that you did," His admission to her own made her face crumble, because she had hoped he felt the same! That he knew he came first for her. That she'd pick him first. "I would choose you over my career," His words meant so much to her! Because it was a sign that they loved each other. She and Bellamy had lived their lives trying to stand up in the shadows of their fathers, and now they were realizing they didn't need to--because they meant more to each other then trying to prove something to the Ark.

"You were my first, in so many ways." "And you were mine," She told him, as he had been her first in just about every way a man could be a woman's first. Sexually, emotionally, and in so many other ways. She could let her guard down around him in ways she couldn't do with anyone else, "And you'll be my last. I want you to be my last." Braeden felt another tear fall from her eyes, and it rolled down her cheek. He would be her last as well! Not just because she planned to go with him, but because she knew there would never be another--even if she lived a long life, she could never find anyone that compared to him. She wouldn't even look! She laughed with him, and loved with him, and opened herself up in a way that she had never been able to before. That she would never be able to again. "You will be mine too. My only!" Because while she had slept with others while they were broken up, there was a reason none of them were still in her life--because they were not him. Because when you compered others against him, they'd always fall short.

Her arms moved around his neck, and she hugged him to her. Braeden never wanted to leave this room, or let him go. She wasn't sure to not being able to fight, and she didn't like the helpless feeling that the Ark dying left her with, but she knew she didn't have to face it without Bellamy.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Braeden Quinn

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

To hear that she too was his first, filled him with so many emotions, ones that were getting increasingly difficult to contain. She told him that he would be hers, her only. He didn't want that for her. While he was proud to be the man that she loved -- her first as she had revealed -- he didn't want himself to be her only. He wanted her to have a future. To find someone, to be happy with them. To have a child with them. He wanted a future for her, which was precisely why he was doing this. And why he couldn't let her.

This was not her fate, to be in the culling. It was his though, and he would make sure that her future was secured . . . or that she had a chance of one. She wrapped her arms around him and he did the same, just wanting to hold her. These moments were precious and he did not wish to waste a single one. "You're also the first person I told this to," he said, in an almost teasing voice though not without truth . . . and the tease was spoken with mixed emotions. She was his first in many ways, including this. He moved his head back to look at her, wanting to memorize every feature on her face. Every part of her that made her the most beautiful person he had ever seen. He leaned forward to kiss her cheek, closing his eyes, his lips remaining there in a lingering embrace, feeling the softness of her skin and what it always made him feel.

[Braeden Quinn]

Bellamy Kane loved his family, and was loyal to them in ways that many on the Ark was only loyal to themselves. Which made his words the most telling them that he had said to her, because he had come to her first! He had gone to her first! Braeden felt him kiss her cheek, and she had to take a moment with her eyes closed to make sure she was strong enough to bare the knowledge of his words and kiss. He had told her first. It was placing an unspoken value on his love; and she knew more so then a moment ago just how deep that was.

Opening her eyes, she looked into his face, before moving to claim his lips! Most of their times had been quick, some and playful, though they were often able to move slow as well! She wanted him right now in an emotional way, more then physical way. She needed to feel him touching her, and loving her; and she needed to be able to love and touch him in return! With that in mind her kiss turned deeper, and one of her hands moved up his neck, to bury in his hair.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Braeden Quinn

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

When her lips moved to his, he immediately returned the kiss. This was a different kind of embrace. It wasn't one cause by an overpowering rush of passion. It wasn't one that demanded a quickie to satisfy that burning need. This was about making love. About truly expressing how they felt about one another. About taking the time to let these emotions pour out in actions. If this would be their last time . . . he wanted it to last.

He wanted her to remember it. He wanted her to feel loved. His hands went to her waist, lifting her up a little so that she could wrap her legs around his waist. He ensured to keep the contact of their lips, trusting his spatial skills as he carried her, making his way to her bedroom. To her bed. And once there, he gently lay her down on it. This wasn't something he wanted to do on the couch, or table, or against the wall. As he had previously acknowledged, this was about more than just the rush of need. There was still passion, and love, but he wanted to savor it. Before, they thought they had so much time, knowing that they would see each other again. But now, time was not on their sad. This could very well be their last time and if that was the case . . . he wanted to have it last, even as just a memory.

[Braeden Quinn]

Braeden had never thought about time as something she had to worry about. She had been one of the thousands on the Ark that had taken it for granted--she had her whole life ahead of her. She had years to do everything she had wanted to do, and there was no need to make each moment a memory or special. Now she she knew otherwise. Now she wanted to take this moment and hold it close, so later it could be one of her last.

Bellamy lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around him. This wasn't a passion filled tackle, but an emotionally charged one. One of love, rather then physical need. When he layed her on the bed, she was almost reminded of their first time, as she looked up at him. Reaching for her shirt, she pulled it off before reaching for him again. She didn't think she would ever be able to say goodbye to him. She never thought she would have too. "I love you," She reminded him, wanting to make sure he heard it now, clearly, when she wasn't begging him to stay. So he knew without a doubt that she did.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Braeden Quinn

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

When he lay her down, she reached for her shirt, pulling it over her head. He watched her for a moment, taking in the sight of this action . . . one that they often did in haste. But now, he just wanted to watch her, memorize it, let it be the beautiful memory that lingered in his mind when he breathed his last moments of life. Before she reached for him, he pulled his own shirt off. He knew their time was limited, but he didn't want to rush this. He moved so that he was situated on top of her, his hands moving over her exposed upper body, feeling the softness of her flawless skin under his hands.

"I love you too," he told her in a low voice, but one filled with sincerity. The impact of what she had said earlier still playing in his mind. While he wasn't going to let her do this . . . the fact that she would die with him, it meant so much. Expressed so much. He leaned down to kiss her lips, softly, before deepening in it, letting the moment build, letting them enjoy their last time together. His hands went to the fastening of her pants, starting to undo them, still wanting to take his time . . . but the culling was not far away. Time was not on their side. He eased out of the kiss for a moment, looking at her, deeply into her eyes. "You're so beautiful." Words that he felt he hadn't said enough in the two wonderful years they had been together for.

[Braeden Quinn]

His words made her feel loved and feel beautiful! She could never feel this way with anyone else. For her it had been Bellamy at 16, and Bellamy now. When he had removed his shirt, her eyes had fallen over his skin, and her lips parted enough so that the tip of her tongue could come out and wet them. Years! She had been sleeping with him for a while now, and she had always assumed that would get old--at least in the beginning. It never did! If anything it had grown more comfortable. They'd laughed, and played; rather then just went at it. Bellamy moved over her, and went to unfasten her pants. He called her beautiful, and she felt it. A tear ran over the side of her face, but she wasn't going to ruin this moment by wishing she had forever with him, and missing out of the man before her. "It's only ever been this way with you." She told him, knowing that she had felt beautiful with him. Had laughed only with him, and had loved only him. Her hands framed his face, and she looked into his eyes. "I could never let my guard down with anyone else." Not enough to let them close. He had her feel safe! With that though, she reached down and tucked her fingers into his pants, dragging them closer toward his zipper and then pulling the buttons out one of at time. Her fingers so much more stable then at 16. Gripping the sides of his flaps she pulled them apart, and the zipper gave away. Then she pushed them down to get them off him. "Lay back. I want to memorize you."

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Braeden Quinn

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Hearing her tell him that it had only ever been this way with him . . . it meant more than he was capable of expressing. "Likewise," he told her truthfully. She had been the only woman he had ever loved; the only one he had wanted to actually be in a relationship with. Enough to risk their very careers. Their relationship was the first thing he had ever blatantly defied his father over, and it had been worth it. Every second he was with her, was a gift, a privilege and an honor. He felt now, with the limited time they had, that he had taken it for granted.

Had he told her enough times that he loved her? Had he made her feel loved? Had he truly taken the effort to show her just how much she meant to him? He wished he could have done it more. He wished he had more time with her. But they didn't. And he would have to live the rest of his limited life with that regret. The feeling of her fingers tucking into his pants caused him to let out a heavy breath, his chest heaving with the sensation of her fingers being so close to him there, until she effortlessly opened the fastening, allowing them to lower his pants, which he promptly did so, kicking off the rest of them.

She told him to lie back so she could memorize him, and right now . . . he didn't want to deny a single desire of hers. He turned them around, laying on his back as he positioned her on top of him. Her beauty took his breath away as he just looked at her with soft longing. Suddenly, an amused smile formed on his lips as he thought back to a fond memory. "I wish I could tell the sixteen year old you how demanding you are in bed," he teased. 16, because that was how old they were when they had not only had sex for the first time together . . . but it was the first time ever for each of them.