Cloudy With A Chance Of Angst

[Nina Eaton]

everything will change; nothing stays the same nobody here's perfect, but everyone's to blame She should have gone with them. She shouldn't have stayed behind. If she had been there, maybe she would have been able to help. Maybe she would have been able to prevent the blast and maybe none of those people would have died. Granted, Nina hadn't lost anyone she really knew but it was still a great loss. The only people who had been there that she cared about was Raven, Bellamy and Octavia and all of them had survived. Bellamy and Octavia had been lucky enough to leave Mount Weather under the belief that an assassin was in Polis. Raven had barely escaped and Nina hadn't gotten the chance to talk to her about it yet. She had a feeling that the girl was dealing with a lot of pain, both emotionally and physically. She couldn't imagine what it was like. Nina was in that awkward position where she wanted to be there for Raven, but she didn't know how. Everyone appeared to be on high alert and Nina was no exception. She felt like something was going to blow up at any moment and she hated it. The paranoia settled within her and she ached to get it out but there was nothing she could do. It would stay there until things calmed down, and who knew how long it woul dbe until that happened. Clarke was in Polis with Lexa but other than that, Nina had no idea what was going on. At one point she had heard that they had become the thirteenth clan but she couldn't be certain. She didn't know what to believe anymore. She didn't know what was true or what was just a rumor.  Nina decided to find Raven, wanting to be with someone who made her feel calm rather than annoyed or anxious like most people did these days. Nina had been surprised to not find Raven in the shop that had been set up for the mechanics. She wasn't quite sure where else she could be, but was fortunate enough to spot the girl outside. Nina went to yell out for the girl but something seemed off. From where Nina was standing, Raven looked like she wanted to avoid attention. Frowning, Nina ran to catch up with Raven. "Where are you going?" She asked, not even needing to ask if Raven was going somewhere. She knew her friend well enough. cherry1

[cherry1]

If she were to believe in the whole 5 stages of grief crap then Raven was definitely at anger or perhaps more accurately revenge. She’d lost too much, first her mom, Finn, and now Gena and maybe even Sinclair though with Abby and Jackson he was hopefully going to pull through. It had never been easy for her to let people in, to make friends, but that’s what Gena was to her. And dammit it wasn’t fair. Poorly hidden beneath the anger was of course the immense guilt. This was all her fault. A million ‘what ifs’ raced through her mind with no chance of stopping. It was going to drive her insane. What if Raven had gone into the president’s old office instead? What if she’d run faster? What if she’d tried a little goddamn harder? Maybe everyone in the blast could have survived.

It was revenge that was currently driving her to where she now planned to go. The intensity of the feeling even distracting her from the chronic pain radiating from her hip. To hell with peace talks. There was no peace with these people. The grounders weren’t gonna know what hit ‘em. In a satchel slung over her shoulder were grenades. A new design. If these worked they were going to get a taste of their own bitter blood filled medicine. Trying to look discreet, Raven knew exactly how to sneak out of Arkadia to test them out. As long as no one saw… "Where are you going?" Dammit. “Mind your own business Nina,” she snapped, a little too harshly and a little too quickly. Instantly regretting it. But she sure as hell wasn’t going to apologise. “Look,” she began instead. “I have a job to do, so either help me get the hell outta here or pretend you didn’t see me and leave,” she asked or rather told. A question in her calm expression thinly disguising the desperation behind it. Raven needed this. Her work now was all she had. She couldn’t bare dwelling on what happened any longer. She had to…do something.

Tag: Nina Eaton

[Nina Eaton]

everything will change; nothing stays the same nobody here's perfect, but everyone's to blame Had it been someone else, Nina was certain that Raven's response would have caused someone to jump in surprise or even get upset over the way she spoke to them. But Nina was different in the sense that she had seen Raven angry before so she expected her to act certain ways. This time was no exception. If Nina had been feeling a little more normal she might have even chuckled at Raven snapping at her. But instead she ignored the tone of voice and continued to act like the girl had not just bitten her head off. In truth, Raven had a point. Nina wasn't really minding her own business but she didn't really care. She knew how some of her friends could be when they were feeling emotional and she wasn't willing to find out how Raven was. Raven followed up her snapping with telling Nina to join or get lost. Nina was always up for a distraction, especially now. Not to mention she found that Raven's distractions tended to be the best. "Okay," Nina agreed. "And what's your great escape plan?" Nina asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Camp was on lockdown and no one was to leave without specific instructions. The fence was electrified so there was no getting through there. Then again, she wondered if Raven had the capability of turning the fence off for a little while without anyone noticing. It wasn't as if people were constantly testing the fence. It wasn't meant to keep them prisoners, it was meant to keep outsiders from invading their space. Nina would have gladly lied to get out of camp, saying that the girls had been sent on a special mission. But she knew it wouldn't work this time around. cherry1

[cherry1]

Raven’s lips almost flickered into the beginnings smile at Nina’s eagerness to join her. While she’d never admit it out loud or even to herself, she could maybe use the company. For just a little while. Before she’d inevitably drive her away. Raven’s unapologetic cold demeanour was for Nina’s own good. People who got close to her didn’t exactly have a great track record. Everything she touches or ever cares about gets destroyed, and that included people, as Gena learned the hard way. The wound still raw and painful every time she thought about it.

“Follow me soldier,” she replied, looking Nina up and down, Raven’s arms crossed over her chest. “I’ll slip us straight out.” Turning around, she lead the way to a generally secluded corner of the camp, the ideal spot for a chink in the fence’s electrified armour. A spot she’d managed to create with some parallel cabling and her awesome brain. After a couple electrical burns…but still. Worth it. For the occasional moment of peace and quiet on her own. As they reached the fence, Raven hesitated for a moment. Nobody else knew about this. How much could she really trust Nina not to rat her out? Maybe this was a bad idea. She initially set out to be alone after all…right? “First,” she paused finally deciding to trust the girl. “You tell another soul about this and I swear to god even with this bum leg I will kick your ass.” And that wasn’t an idle threat. Slowly Raven moved some foliage she’d placed to block the fence out of the way and laid a hand on it. “It’s not hot,” she sighed in relief, untying a cable holding it together and pushing her way through. “You coming?”

Tag: Nina Eaton

[Nina Eaton]

everything will change; nothing stays the same nobody here's perfect, but everyone's to blame She gave Raven a mock salute before she followed the girl towards a secluded section of the camp. Nina tried to think of how she would get them out. Perhaps Raven had dug some sort of hole to get under the fence or something like that. Either way, Nina was definitely intrigued to see how this all panned out. She stopped when Raven brought them to the edge of camp, in front of the fence where no one could see them. She listened to her threat and a grin spread across her face. "I don't doubt that," she said. Nina admired Raven for still being herself even after her injury. She was so strong and Nina was often jealous over Raven's apparent strength. But she kept her thoughts to herself, knowing Raven well enough to know that those comments would not be welcomed. Her eyes followed Raven's hands as she moved things aside and went out to touch the fence. Nina almost warned the girl about it being electrified, but Raven knew that. So she had to know what she was doing. A grin formed on her face, yet again, at Raven's revelation. "Amazing," she said. Nina felt like a kid in a candy store. There were so many opportunities with this new revelation. But Nina knew that she had to keep it to herself, not wanting Raven to get into trouble or having the fence fixed. She quickly followed Raven out the hole and looked around. She hadn't been outside the fence since the incident at Mount Weather. As if the air was different, Nina inhaled deeply and grinned. "Free at last," she said, looking over at Raven. "So what's the plan? Knowing you...my guess is blowing some shit up?" Nina quirked a brow at her friend, curious to see if she was right or not. cherry1

[cherry1]

Raven’s lips almost twitched into a smile the when Nina asked about the plan. “Yep. The best plans always involve blowing shit up.” Only this time it was different. This time it wasn’t just a pass time or an experiment. She had a very specific target in mind for these grenades. Her motives more driven by anger and revenge then any of the other times she’d snuck out to play with her toys. She’d secluded herself since…the explosion working on the new designs. Less material and wider blast radius. They’d be her most advance prototype…if they worked. And she knew exactly who she wanted to use them on first. Raven hated feeling helpless, and with these weapons she’d never have to feel that way again.

Slinging the satchel filled with her bombs off her shoulder she handed it out towards Nina, a thought occurring to her. “Well since I’m stuck with you now, you might as well make yourself useful and carry these.” Perhaps having an assistant of sorts wouldn’t be that bad after all. “Careful you don’t drop ‘em though. You wouldn’t wanna blow up that pretty face of yours.” The teasing remark almost bringing a smile to her face. Until she remembered...her. Gena. And every time she’d tease her about her curly locks, or her relationship with Bellamy. The thought sobered her. Swallowing, she shoved down the guilt as far as she could and for as long as she could so that she could concentrate. Now was not the time to wallow in sadness. Raven needed to get this done. Turning around she started making her way towards a small clearing far enough away from camp that they wouldn’t notice their little practice session…hopefully.

Tag: Nina Eaton

[Nina Eaton]

everything will change; nothing stays the same nobody here's perfect, but everyone's to blame The best plans always involved blowing shit up, that was for sure. So Nina had to admit that she was a little thrilled to see what Raven had planned. It was a welcomed distraction from the chaos and grief that had been going on since the destruction of Mount Weather. Nina had been throwing herself into training but even the physical distraction of that hadn't really helped. She needed something to distract her mind and her body. Training was so mindless to her so she often got lost in her own thoughts, which was not a good thing. Her thoughts were a dangerous thing these days and had not gotten any better since Mount Weather. She hadn't been involved in the least bit, but the what ifs still bothered her. It was a decent distraction, the bluntness of Raven's personality, and while Nina didn't mind it, she had to constantly remind herself that this was just how Raven was. Nina could be blunt herself and never bothered with bullshit so perhaps that was why the two got along most of the time. Taking the bag from Raven, she slugged it over her shoulder and snorted at her comment. "I'd like to think my dazzling personality contributes to this group, thank you very much," she quipped with dry sarcasm. She laughed at Raven's comment about her having a pretty face. Well, at least she appeared to have that going for her. Nina continued to follow Raven without question and she glanced around to see a clearing where she guessed their activities would take place. Now that she thought about it, she should have snagged some moonshine for this. It probably would have made things a little more fun. Then again, she didn't really think alcohol and explosives mixed well together. "So what's this plan of yours?" Nina asked again, hoping she would get some more details out of the mechanic. cherry1

[cherry1]

Raven’s lips flickered into a smirk at Nina’s sarcastic reply, before it quickly disappeared into a steely expression. She couldn’t let the girl distract her from her objective. Though she knew that was impossible even if Nina tried. Raven was too buried in guilt and grief to be happy for any significant amount of time. Being out here, away from camp also meant avoiding people. Bellamy in particular. She still didn’t have the stomach to look at him let alone approach him. She was the reason Gena was no longer here. And she couldn’t look into his eyes knowing the expression he’d have in his own. The look of resentment at her being alive and well while the first person he’d allowed himself to love was thoughtlessly taken away from him. The thought had been running through her mind since it happened.

At her question, Raven turned to her. Her game face on. “You see that pile of rubble in the middle of the clearing?” she asked, pointing ahead of them. “That used to be a log of wood.” Evidence of her previous little experimental sessions. “This time I want it to turn to dust,” she added, a cool exterior masking the intense sense of revenge and duty she felt underneath. Raven had never gotten along with the grounders. Mount Weather was the last straw. “We’re going to blow them to shreds,” she whispered under her breath, not realising she’d spoken out loud. “Give me the bag,” she asked instead, hoping to gloss over the moment. Grabbing a couple of grenades. “Time to see what you’re really made of.”

Tag: Nina Eaton

[Nina Eaton]

everything will change; nothing stays the same nobody here's perfect, but everyone's to blame Nina looked over into the clearing to see what Raven was talking about. She saw the pile of rubble. She grinned at the idea of turning it into dust. She could definitely be down with that. Nina honestly didn't even care about the sound attracting unwanted attention. In her eyes, attention was always unwanted out in the woods. But she decided not to care, especially now. She wanted to let herself get lost in this moment with Raven. She wanted to have fun without feeling bad about it. Nina didn't want want the guilt to eat away at her, making her feel guilty for living while so many had died. It wasn't her fault; she knew that. So she couldn't let it bother her. Quirking a brow at Raven's comment about blowing them to shred, Nina knew that she had probably intended to say that quieter. But Nina had heard her and she couldn't unhear it. It shouldn't have come as a surprise to her that Raven wanted to destroy the grounders. They had taken Finn from her, even if it was at the hands of Clarke, and now they taken away more of her friends in Mount Weather. Nina hadn't lost anyone she really knew while she was down here. Her father hadn't made the landing, not that she would have cared either way, and any friends that she had on the Ark hadn't made it either. Sure, Bellamy was her friend but he was busy with so much that she didn't feel like bothering him. Perhaps she was lucky, not having anyone to really care about down here. She wouldn't have to worry about having someone die on her. She had seen how it affected people around her and it wasn't something she wanted to experience. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised," Nina said, referring to Raven's muttered comment. She knew that as a whole, the camp wanted to make nice with the grounders. She knew that Kane was traveling to Polis soon to try to get an alliance but she had no idea how that would work. If Raven wanted to attack some grounders, Nina knew she wouldn't stop her. She had always been on the fence about the grounders but this realization told her how she really felt. The only issue she had was the kids. But Nina knew that this was war and you couldn't afford to be sensitive while at war. "I'll help you," Nina said with a nod of her head. She handed Raven the bag and watched her. "Not sure how, but I'll help you." Her eyes looked at the grenades in Raven's hand. She chuckled and cocked her head to the side. "What? You want to see how my throwing arm is?" She asked. cherry1

[cherry1]

Raven hesistated when Nina acknowledged her comment. Afraid of how she might react to such violent inclinations. But it was why they were out here. Why Raven had worked herself to the bone to create these weapons. Grounders didn’t deserve peace, they didn’t deserve anything. The second they’d set foot on the ground, it was a war. A war they’d started. And one Raven was determined to goddamn finish. Kane could kid himself all he wanted. Raven refused to leave them unprepared for the inevitable. Just like Mount Weather had proved. And it seemed Nina agreed with her. Sighing in relief she shot her an approving look. Maybe they had more in common than she’d thought.

“Funny,” she replied with a sarcastic smirk. “But some people can’t stomach explosions and violence.” Though god knows why, especially after all they’d been through to survive. “Maybe you’re not up for blowing shit apart. Knowing now what I plan to with these,” Raven said confidently. Though still obviously on edge. Nina may have offered her help, but she didn’t really know what that meant. Raven wanted revenge. Bloody, violent revenge. The thought keeping her together and upright. Nina didn’t know what she was getting in to. And the sooner she did the better. Easier that way if she decided to bail and leave Raven to her own devices. Though in the pit of her stomach Raven didn’t want her to leave. Though she’d never admit that to herself. “This is it, last chance to go,” before she really began. “No judgement,” she added, unable to look her in the eye, rummaging through her bag instead.

Tag: Nina Eaton

[Nina Eaton]

everything will change; nothing stays the same nobody here's perfect, but everyone's to blame From the expression on Raven's face, Nina felt like the girl had been relieved to hear Nina agree with her. She knew it wasn't a popular opinion and it was one that often had to be kept to oneself, but that didn't stop people from having it. Nina had tried to get along with the Grounders. She had tried to embrace their short lived alliance. But it had failed like she knew it would and now they were mourning even more people from Mount Weather. This was not something they could ignore. Ice Nation was a part of the Lexa's coalition and while Lexa claimed to get justice for their people, Nina wasn't putting a lot of faith in the Commander. A grin crossed her face at Raven's sarcastic comment. She thought it was funny. Nina always thought she was being funny. Glancing at the bombs, she thought about Raven's comment. It made no difference to her what they did with the bombs. She knew they were used to hurt people. It just wasn't until now that she knew which people they were going to hurt. She supposed she should have known all along but it wasn't something she dwelled on. Chuckling, Nina shrugged her shoulders. "Think of it like that game they used to have before the war, Whack-A-Mole. Only we're playing with Grounders and instead of hammers, we have bombs." She grinned at the idea. Okay, she could definitely be down with this plan. Nina was always up for a little ass-kicking and the idea of killing people didn't turn her away. Well, the idea of killing Grounders didn't turn her away. Her eyes watched Raven dig through her bag as her offer to bail hung in the air. It probably would have been the smart thing to do. One could only imagine how much trouble they would get in if they got caught. But she also thought that they would have plenty of support back at camp as well. Pike and his people were furious over the explosion and had not calmed down over Lexa's promise. Nina walked a little closed to the girl, folding her arms across her chest. "Oh no," she said with a grin. "I'm so ready to blow up some Grounders." The more she thought about it, the more she grew excited for this plan. cherry1

[cherry1]

The excitement in Nina’s expression was palpable. Just what Raven wanted to hear. Perhaps she should be a little wary or even concerned that the girl was so eager to help with making bombs…if she didn’t also share in the excitement. Her movements were more confident now that she knew she had her full support. “Okay then Nina,” she said calmly, not revealing quite how pleased she was. “No take backs,” she added teasingly, before grabbing one of the bombs and setting the satchel down.

Slowly she made her way to the middle of the clearing, picking up odd bits of wood and shrapnel on her way. Setting down the bomb right in the middle, Raven activated it, a smirk on her lips. Here we go. Making her way back to Nina, she felt bold and fearless. Her favourite part of making bombs was that feeling. That with her small hands she could take down a whole goddamn army if she wanted to. And boy did she…”Step back,” she ordered, taking a few steps back herself. Raven didn’t need another person’s blood on her hands. “Ready…” Without waiting for a reply, Raven took the makeshift remote in her hand and pressed down on the button to finally blow up the bomb.

One…Two…after half a minute of silence still nothing was happening. No boom…not even a spark. “Goddamn it!” She yelled, letting the anger that had been building up since the explosion she failed to prevent, surface momentarily. Raven threw the remote to the ground, kicking a nearby rock with her bum leg as hard as she could, feeling the force rock up to her hip and through her body. Flaring up her chronic pain. “I can’t even do this,” she groaned in frustration, kneeling down, she picked up the now broken remote, as if it was some symbol of her weakness. Of what Raven knew deep down was true. She was just as broken too.

Tag: Nina Eaton

[Nina Eaton]

everything will change; nothing stays the same nobody here's perfect, but everyone's to blame Nina's eyes followed Raven as the girl picked up a bomb and worked her way through the field. She picked up all sorts of odd things as she walked, likely to use for the bomb to blow up. Nina's only fear was that a piece of shrapnel would fly their way and seriously injur one of them. But Nina dismissed the thought as the excitement of playing with bombs took over her emotions. Her eyes focused on Raven again and watched as the girl came back to where Nina was standing. The pride on Raven's face was intoxicating. She obeyed Raven and took a few steps back, a grin on her face as she did so. Nina looked at the homemade remote in Raven's hand and while some would feel weary about homemade bombs, Nina had faith in Raven. She knew Raven was a brilliant mechanic so she didn't question her inventions one bit. To Nina, they were as good as perfect. Anticipation flowed through her body and she watched as Raven pressed the button on the remote. She tried to ready herself for the loud noise but nothing came. They waited and there was still nothing. The noise to break the silence was not that of the bomb, but rather that of Raven's anger. She looked over and watched her throw the remote on the ground and slam her injured leg into a rock. Nina didn't know anything about Raven's injury but she still winced, thinking that it couldn't have felt good to hit it against the rock. Nina frowned as Raven belittled herself. "Hey!" Nina snapped. "That is not the Raven Reyes that I know. The Raven I know would say 'screw this' and try again." Nina would be damned if she let Raven fall into a funk. cherry1

[cherry1]

The Raven that she knew…. Did she even exist anymore? “Then you don’t know me very well, at least not anymore.” The ground had taken that away from her. “The Raven you know died along with every other freaking person in my life.” Every loss slowly chipping away at her soul until this. And now Gena…there wasn’t enough of Raven left to suffer through another loss and come out the other side as any kind of real person. “So don’t talk to me about Raven Reyes.” She was just a shadow now…a curse who destroyed everything she touched. Raven had been a fool to think that some companionship and bomb practice could alleviate that pain. All it had done was aggravate it.

“This was a bad idea, Nina.” Perhaps it was time to call it a day. And go back to hiding from everyone in her workshop. She didn’t have the energy for arrogance. This recent loss had hit her hard. She wasn’t the girl who could do anything anymore. She was the girl who couldn’t save those people and couldn’t even save her friend. Nina would do well to stay away unless she wanted to get hurt too. Raven didn’t want any more blood on her hands. They were already soaked enough as it is. “Let’s just go.” No need for any further humiliation. Though Raven didn’t even have it in her to feel that. Taking the pieces of the remote she stuffed them back in her bag and stood. Ready to fetch the unexploded bomb and deactivate it.

Tag: Nina Eaton

[Nina Eaton]

everything will change; nothing stays the same nobody here's perfect, but everyone's to blame Nina wondered if everyone had died since arriving on the ground. No one was the same anymore and while others had changed more than some, the fact still remained the same; everyone was different. Nina took a moment to think about how she had changed. On the Ark she wasn't a loving or affectionate type of person, and that had come with her down here. Perhaps she was a little more guarded and kept her distance from people she once cared about. Nina's friends had died coming down and so had her father. Nina hadn't been too upset about her father since the two had never really had a relationship in the first place, but he had still been her father. But people died so easily down here so she saw almost no point in getting close to them. Nina wasn't sure how much Raven had changed but she knew Finn and Gena's deaths had seriously messed with her mind. So perhaps it was more than just a funk, but Nina wasn't going to let Raven stay like this forever.  "Everyone has changed since coming down here," Nina spoke. Her voice was a little softer but it held no pity for the girl. Nina wasn't even sure if she was capable of pity. "And yeah, you've been through a whole other hell compared to a lot of people. But no matter how much you've changed, I never would have pegged you for someone who just gave up." Maybe Raven was just an empty shell of her former self. But she had been brave enough to sneak out here and want revenge for what happened. That gave Nina a small amount of hope that there was still a piece of Raven inside of her. cherry1