Blast from the Past

[Nina Eaton]

There had been a few moments in Nina's life where one moment things had perfect and the next, a disaster. The first time had been when Nina had started stealing food to help Bellamy Blake. The first two times had been a breeze and it had made Nina feel closer to Bellamy. They shared a secret and it was the fact that it was so life threatening that brought them closer together. But one afternoon the apartment had been searched, a routine search they assured her family, but had found the hidden rations that Nina had been planning to give Bellamy later that night. She remembered the panic that set in and how she felt like she was going to throw up. She was going to be killed and there was nothing she, or anyone else for that matter, could do to stop it. There was no way in hell she was going to name Bellamy. He had her loyalty and that was worth a lot in a place like the Ark. The panic only worsened when her mother claimed that she had been the one to steal it for her kids in her class. She spoke calmly and explained that the children weren't getting enough food. Nina felt nothing but heartbreak as they arrested her mom and walked her out of the apartment. She felt her entire world fall apart as her father did nothing and someone pressed the button on the wall to float her. Nina had leaned heavily on Bellamy after that. She had cried in front of him even though she said she never would. He became one of the most important people in her life, especially since her father appeared to show no remorse for not even attempting to save his wife. No part of Nina blamed Bellamy, but she knew him and she knew how guilty he must have felt. Nina merely told him that if he wanted to pay her back, he would just have to be there for her.

The second instance had been when Nina and Bellamy had taken things a little further in their friendship. She spent so much time with him as it was, that it was no surprise when she developed feelings for her fellow classmate. Things had progressed and while they had never labeled it, people certainly seemed to know that they were a thing. Things had been going great and Nina had begun to smile and laugh again, a rarity since the death of her mother. But then it was revealed that Bellamy had a little sister named Octavia, and she had been living under their floor for nearly sixteen years. Aurora Blake was floated and Octavia was locked away in the skybox. She knew it was her turn to be there for Bellamy and while she was a little upset he had never trusted her with Octavia's secret, she knew it wasn't about her. But he had done nothing but push her away and it hurt Nina. He had been demoted to janitor and he had ceased all contact with Nina. Heartbroken yet again, Nina tried to go about her daily routines without thinking about the boy who had pushed her away.

The last moment was when Nina had been hanging out with Raven, laughing and talking with the girl as she fixed up a pod for her and Abby Griffin to go down to Earth in. Nina had wanted to go with her friend but the pod only fit two and she wasn't about to throw a fit about not being able to go. Raven had Finn down there and Abby had her daughter, Clarke. She knew that Bellamy and Octavia were also down on Earth but there was no reason that Bellamy would want to see her, even if she still wanted to see him. She hated to admit it to herself, but she still missed him. Almost a year had passed since he had pushed her away but she had been unable to push her feelings away. Things went South when Raven found out Abby wasn't going to make it onto the dropship and she had to launch now in order to make it to Earth. Kane and his men were going to see what Abby had been hiding. If they found Nina there, they would likely call her a traitor for not reporting such illegal activity. She was part of the guard now, after all. So she hopped into the ship with Raven and the two plummeted to Earth, and hopefully not their death.

Both girls had blacked out after hitting their heads during their rough landing. It wasn't until someone found them that both girls began to wake up and it was revealed that Clarke Griffin had been the one to find them. Both girls got out of the ship and out of their suits, rubbing their heads. Raven hadn't even wiped the blood off her forehead before she threw herself into the arms of a boy that had appeared. Nina guessed it was Finn, Raven's boyfriend, and she was glad that the two had found one another again. She watched as Raven walked over to the ship to grab the radio so they could tell the Ark that the kids were still alive, but Raven quickly realized that it was missing. "My radio! It's gone!" Raven exclaimed. Nina furrowed her brows in confusion and quickly walked around the ship, looking into the compartment that held the radio. She was right. It was gone. Not that Nina cared about anyone else up in the Ark, but she knew it wasn't good that their communication system had been lost. Although according to Clarke, it wasn't lost. Someone had stolen it and she knew exactly who it was.

The group walked through the woods in an attempt to find the culprit, even though Raven and Nina had no idea who it was. Raven and Finn were walking behind them, catching up and probably kissing every few minutes. Raven looked extremely happy but something about Finn seemed a little off. It was then that she took a look at Clarke and saw how bummed out she appeared, even though she was trying her best to hide it. A lightbulb went off in her head and she guessed that Finn and Clarke had been involved down here, but things were different now that Raven was on Earth with them. "So who do you think stole the radio?" Nina asked, looking at the blonde next to her. A scoff escaped her lips. "I know who it was. It was..." her voice trailed off and Clarke looked pissed and glared in front of her. "Bellamy Blake!" She called out. Nina's eyebrows rose but was surprised yet again when she saw that Bellamy was standing not too far from them, spotted by Clarke Griffin.


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Impulse had taken over. Bellamy wasn't thinking about anything else apart from the fact that if the Ark came down, they would kill him. Execute him for his crimes. He had assassinated the Chancellor and this wasn't exactly the kind of crime that got pardoned. His fight with Octavia had him extra amped up, the adrenaline pumping through his veins, anger surging through him. When he saw the pod he paused, waiting to see if there was any movement inside. When he moved to the pilot's spot, he saw two helmeted figures, unconscious or dead. Bellamy didn't bother to check. He had his priorities and needed to do this before either of them woke up. Or before any of the others from camp came to stop him.

He had worked too damn hard getting those bracelets off of them, and he wasn't going to let a rogue pod from the Ark ruin everything. With that, he yanked out the radio, breaking the wires and giving the two Arkers a final glance before making his way to the river. He hardly hesitated, tossing the damn thing into the water and just washing it float away, with a satisfied look. Impulsive. An action based purely on emotion. But there was no room for regret. With that, he made his way back to camp. Or at least on the path of it.

But the others had not been far behind, and he heard the all too familiar -- and damn irritating -- voice of the princess, calling out his name. She sounded pissed. Big shocker there. He turned around to look at her, about to roll his eyes but who he saw standing there, caused him to pause. One woman he didn't recognize but the other . . . the other he did. And when he saw her, he froze. She had been one of the people in the pods. She was alive. And . . . Bellamy never thought he was going to see her again.

He knew that he had pulled away from her after his mother was floated and Octavia arrested. But never, did he expect to see her down here, standing before him. Looking between each of them, he was fully aware he had to keep being the person he was down here. The asshole. Not the man he had let himself be with Nina. "What are you doing here?" He questioned, taking a step toward her, wondering how the hell she got on that pod. It seemed the only thing he was able to say right now. The only thing he could bring to question. She had been the only person he'd ever been in a relationship with. And that sentiment didn't just vanish.

[Nina Eaton]

She saw him freeze and she didn't blame him. He hadn't been expecting to see her and she knew the surprise visit was probably throwing him off. It was a shame she didn't really care about him upholding any sort of reputation he had earned around here. It wasn't until she saw him that she realized how angry she was at him after a whole year. She was pissed for him just leaving her alone, knowing that her and her father had no relationship. He knew that he was all she had yet he pushed her away. He lost his sister and his mother, so one would have thought that a person would have liked to avoid losing any other people. But not Bellamy Blake. He was a martyr and he was going to prove it to the world. Nina just wished she hadn't been so expendable to him. Maybe he hadn't cared as much as she thought. Maybe she had just been a convenience and that was in.

Frowning, she crossed her arms over her chest and looked him up and down after he took a step closer to her. "So nice to see you too, Bellamy," she said with fake friendliness. "I'm great, thanks for asking. The trip was a little rough but - " Clarke quickly cut the girl off. "Wait. Do you know each other?" Clarke asked. Nina glanced over at Bellamy again before returning her attention to Clarke. "Sort of," she said. Nina kept her mouth shut and Clarke guessed that was the end of that conversation. "What did you do with the radio Bellamy?" She asked. Nina kept quiet but she was attempting to calm herself down. She didn't want to cause a scene and she didn't want him to know that he still affected her in such a way. "Wait. You're Bellamy Blake?" Raven asked. She laughed and shook her head. "They're looking everywhere for you." Realization hit Nina and it became so clear why he didn't want any of the 100 contacting the Ark. "You're afraid they'll kill you," Nina said with disbelief. She shook her head and walked around him, not sure where she was going but not caring. She heard Raven tell him that he hadn't killed Jaha and then the conversation began to fade from that point. "Nina!" Clarke called after the girl, rushing to catch up with her. "You don't know where you're going. You'll get lost and there are Grounders out there." Nina didn't respond but kept walking. She didn't know what a Grounder was but she certainly didn't care at the moment. "If I don't get away from him I'll kill him myself," she said in a sing song voice. Clarke tried to figure out what had happened, but was coming up blank.

"Look, just help us find the radio, okay? He told us where he tossed it," Clarke said. Nina rolled her eyes. "So it's probably at the bottom of the river. You think Raven can save it? She's good, but I don't think she's a miracle worker." She didn't want to belittle Raven's skills, but she knew when something was savable and when it was not. Clarke shrugged. "We'll just have to see," she said, ushering Nina in the direction of the river so they could all look for it. She allowed Clarke to move her along but she still thought it was a waste of time.


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy just silently watched and listened to the women converse. He didn't confirm or deny anything, but rather, just stayed silent. One of them stated who he was, stated that they were looking everywhere for him, and that prompted a rather blunt "Shut up," from him toward the one woman that he didn't know. When Nina started to walk away, he didn't follow, claiming that she would kill him herself. He tucked his hands into his jacket pocket, finally revealing that the radio was in the water. It wasn't until Clarke explained what was going to happen, that Bellamy felt it impossible to remain silent.

Besides, it didn't matter at this point "You're too late. I tossed it in the river." It wasn't going to work. It was too fried by now, and Bellamy wasn't even sure he was sorry about it. He knew he was going to get dragged to it, and maybe he would help. Maybe. Begrudgingly, he lead the others toward the river, noticing that Nina was close enough within ear shot, while Raven, Clarke and Finn were behind them. "You shouldn't have come down here," he told her, not looking at her but rather, the path ahead. It was risky, especially for someone who had an established life on the Ark. Like she did.

[Nina Eaton]

Knowing that tons of people were going to die didn't sit well with Nina, even though she didn't care about anyone else up on the Ark. Her father was there but that relationship was too strained for her to care, even if he was her father. She just hoped none of the kids suffered because of their failure to radio the Ark. She wondered if they would even tell the citizens about shutting off the oxygen, allowing them to do something to enjoy their last moments. But if Nina knew one thing, it was that the council liked to keep things to themselves. She remembered when she had found out about the oxygen crisis. Apparently the council knew about it and that was the real reason Jake Griffin had been floated. He had wanted to warn people but the council thought it wasn't a good decision. Nina knew that she would have wanted to tell people if she had been in his position. She would have been floated but she would have died knowing that she did the right thing.

They walked to the river and Nina got lost in her own thoughts. It wasn't until Bellamy spoke, warning her that she shouldn't have come down here, that she was brought back to reality. She scoffed at his sentence and shook her head. "Don't worry, Bellamy. I'm pretty sure Earth is big enough for the both of us." She wasn't sure why he was warning her about coming down here. Maybe it was because of all the stuff going on, but she guessed that it probably had to do with things being complicated between the two of them. Either way, she didn't really care how Bellamy felt about her being down there. If she could avoid someone on the Ark then she could certainly avoid someone on Earth. "I was hanging out with Raven while she was working on the pod anyway. If I didn't go, I would have been floated." It didn't matter what she did, she would have been shit out of luck regardless.

Arriving at the river, Nina glanced around and everyone spread out, looking for the radio that Bellamy had tossed. She walked into the river, doing her best to ignore everyone around her and attempt to find the radio. She wasn't really trying, but rather thinking about what they were going to do now that they were down here. 


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Big enough for the both of them. That sure as hell wasn't what Bellamy was worried about. Raven's revelation however that the Chancellor was alive, didn't change anything about his situation. He would still be charged and executed for attempted assassination. If nothing else. And Nina being here, could interfere with what he needed to do. He wasn't even sure where they stood, or whether that was a conversation that needed to be had.

Definitely not right now. When they got to the river, Bellamy just stood on the side, watching the others start to sift through, looking where they could for the radio. Bellamy had no intention of helping. As he said before, it was too late. There was no point to even try and salvage it. The water would have messed with the circuits. Suddenly one of them announced that they had found the radio, as they hurried to regroup.

Bellamy looked at what was left of it. Fried. Definitely fried. He mostly kept to himself until they got back to the camp, Raven hurrying to set to work somewhere. "We may have an extra tent," he said, having to check the drop ship to see what was salvageable. They tended to use tents for when acid fog came their way, but they may still have one that wasn't damaged. "Or you can pair up with someone," he further added, looking at her to see what she preferred to do.

[Nina Eaton]

Nina was relieved when someone shouted that they had found the radio. She quickly got out of the water and looked down at her boots that were now wet. At least they were boots. She was certain that only a little bit of water had seeped into her boots, if any at all. She would have to check it out when they finally got back to camp. Everyone began the walk and she kept to herself. She could hear someone bitching about the fried radio, and she guessed it was Raven but she couldn't be certain. Once they returned Nina took a minute to check out the camp, noting everything that they had done since they had landed. The drop ship was being used for multiple things but most of the kids had set up tents around the camp. They had even built a decent wall surrounding the camp, and Nina had to admit that she was impressed.

Bellamy's voice pulled her from her thoughts and she looked over to see him speaking to her. Nina pursed her lips and nodded her head, "It doesn't matter," she said. She had no preference but she realized that she didn't really know anyone down here other than Bellamy and Raven. She knew Raven would want to spend time with Finn and she was certainly not willing to be in the tent when that sort of reunion happened. She chuckled a bit to herself as she thought about how accurate that prediction was. Nina kicked a rock with her boot before looking back up at Bellamy. "No preference," she added.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Her laconic answer left Bellamy standing there, waiting for her to decide cause he sure as hell wasn't going to do it. "Well decide," he said bluntly. "Otherwise you can wait for Clarke to finish and she'll help you." He and Clarke were the main ones with access to the inventory of what they did have. That had been decided when the two of them reached the point of a joint leadership. While they had completely different styles of leading, he accepted it. For now. He doubted he would stay here long though. With two people coming down from the Ark, it was only a matter of time before they found a way to make contact.

And Bellamy couldn't remain here when that happened. But he would cross that bridge when he came to it. Mentally preparing for whatever he had to do to say alive. The tension between him and Octavia wasn't helping much either. With all this combined together, it just left him in a mood . . . aware that eventually, they he and Nin were going to be forced to talk about what had happened on the Ark between them. He hadn't known anyone down here personally, with the exception of Octavia of course. But now, Nina's presence changed that. And he was uncertain as to how it changed his position. What he did know was that he couldn't be the same man he was when she knew him. He was different, and he couldn't go back to that person.

[Nina Eaton]

Nina scowled and looked up at Bellamy, annoyed by his short tone and lack of patience. It wasn't like she had begged him to help her out or anything. In fact, he had been the one to offer to help her find a tent or see if she wanted to pair up with someone else. She would have been fine if he had walked away for all she cared. But she knew they had to talk. They couldn't keep walking around camp snapping at one another. It wouldn't end well and people would start to notice. But Nina didn't know what she would say. She sure as hell didn't have anything to apologize for and she knew him well enough to know he would never apologize. "Fine," she snapped. "Just give me a tent if there are any left." Of course, now that she was being a bitch she knew he would only get worse. At least, that's what she thought given past scenarios with him. He may have changed, but she knew it wasn't for the better. He seemed more closed off and angry at everything and everyone. 

Walking into the drop ship she looked around. A few people were walking in and out of the room but otherwise it was just Nina and Bellamy. After a moment of silence passed, she was unable to hold her tongue any longer. "I don't know why you're being such a dick to me," she said. "I haven't done anything to you." She shook her head and ran a hand through her brown hair. "I have a right to be pissed at you but you don't have a right to be angry at me." Granted, she knew he had been going through a lot but she had been under the impression that they cared about one another. Nina knew that she cared for him more than he did for her. But that didn't mean she wasn't hurt by his actions. 

She turned to walk down the ramp, leaving the drop ship but turned around to say something else to him. "Not that you care, but my dad wanted to put me on trial for aiding an illegal child. He didn't believe me when I told him I had no idea." She scoffed when she thought of her father and how furious he had been. He probably just wanted to get rid of her, that way he had no one that could be used to get to him. "It was actually Kane that told him to back down."


Bellamy Blake

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

There it was. He knew it wasn't going to last long to be silent; to endure the tense silence between them. She was upset, and perhaps rightfully so, but that didn't change Bellamy's stance on anything. He wasn't the same man he was when they were together. Since then he had gotten his mother floated, gotten his sister arrested, murdered -- or well, nearly murdered apparently -- someone, and done all sorts of things on the ground. Bellamy didn't say anything. He just remained silent. Hearing her say that she had a right to be angry, but he didn't. As if she had a say in what his rights were.

As if anyone had a say in what his rights were. He knew he was closed off for a reason, with everynoe . . . but hearing words like this, made him feel it right in his heart. And validated why he should never have allowed himself to be in a relationship. As if that wasn't enough, she told him that her father wanted to put her on trial. And that was when Bellamy finally spoke. "What the hell do you want me to say?" He questioned, his tone blunt, his voice not raised but serious. Octavia undoubtedly blamed him for their mother's death. And now Nina was guilt tripping him. He supposed he deserved it, but having the women he was closest to throw dagger and dagger at him . . . was a weight on his shoulders he was struggling to bear. Of course he couldn't afford to show any sign of that. Stoic and guarded as ever. That was what he had to be.

"You shouldn't have gotten involved with me. You never should have stole for me. Is that what you want to hear? You wanna blame me for what your father wanted to do? Fine. Go ahead. I can't do a damn thing about it now." This place was going to break him. The pressure of realizing he may have just cost so many people their lives was catching up to him. "And if its easier to hate me than anything else, go for it. Cause down here, is a whole other kind of hell." One that was hardly welcoming and joyous. And well, Bellamy knew full well that it was easier to hate him than to feel anything else for him. He'd realized that, in all his failures to his family. And he wasn't about to lose anyone else he cared about. Even if he had to act like an ass to maintain that distance.

[Nina Eaton]

What did she want him to say? There were many things that she wanted him to say. She wanted him to apologize for pushing her away. She wanted him to tell her that he still cared about her. She wanted him to say that he still cared about her. But those things would never leave his mouth and she knew it. It was his tone that made her truly believe that she would never hear Bellamy Blake say what she wanted him to. He didn't care and he wasn't even trying to hide it. Maybe he was right. Maybe she shouldn't have come down here. But to be fair, she hadn't been thinking about seeing Bellamy again. It had been an afterthought, but her original thought had been surviving. If she had stayed, she would have been floated for helping Raven do something illegal. Of course, by the time she realized Bellamy was down here it had been too late. Her and Raven had landed and there was nothing she could do about it. But she guessed the emotions she was putting herself through at the current moment were her fault. She could have kept her mouth shut, trying to go about her day without letting him affect her. But he always affected her, whether she liked it or not.

Nina shrugged her shoulders, not wanting her voice to crack if she answered him. He began to rant and she looked up at him, her eyes showing the disbelief at his tirade. He seemed mad and while she knew he would feel whatever he felt, she still didn't see how he could show such anger towards her. She hadn't done anything to him except ask why he was being a dick to her. Sure, it could have set him off but the anger was still too confusing to her. She felt her mouth open slightly when he told her that she never should have gotten involved with him. It that wasn't a slap in the face, she didn't know what was. It was too much to say that this was him pushing her away again. He had already pushed her away but it felt like he had just pushed her off a cliff. 

"That's the thing, I don't blame you!" She shouted at him. "It would be so much easier if I could, but I can't." She ran a hand through her brown locks, glancing towards the entrance to the ship to see if anyone was coming inside. She suppose they weren't exactly being quiet and people could probably hear them, but she was beyond caring at this point. "I could never hate you, Bell." She shrugged her shoulders, a crestfallen look upon her face. "Trust me, I've tried. You can hate me all you want but there's nothing you can do to make me hate you." It was true that she had tried. She had tried getting her friends to point out everything bad about him, but that hadn't worked. She tried having her friends defend him so she would get angry, but that hadn't worked. Nina had tried everything, even going as far as to trying to hook up with someone else. It had worked for a day but then the side effects had quickly disappeared. 


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She claimed she didn't blame him, and he believed her to a certain extent. He knew that she should blame him, but he wasn't going to push for it. If this culling actually happened, then there would be plenty that other people could blame him for. "I don't, hate you," he said, his voice calm but still holding that stoic strength to it. He couldn't let himself be emotionally vulnerable. Not again.

"But I'm not the same person I was on the Ark." At least not when they were together. He had been unravelling during that year without his mother and sister. As if it had all been unknowingly building to the moment he fired the gun at the Chancellor. The fact that he was alive didn't change the emotional repercussions of firing the gun with the intention to kill him.

He had still done it. And between that, being the reason his mother died, and what Octavia went through . . . Bellamy couldn't return to be that same more jovial Cadet that he was when they'd been together. He didn't even understand why they hadn't floated him for his crimes. "So you need to tell me what you want from me down here. Because . . . I can't be that same person." He wasn't the same Bellamy, and he couldn't be. He couldn't reverse himself, no matter how much he hated the man he became who'd had his mother killed.

[Nina Eaton]

She wasn't sure if she believed him when he said he didn't hate her. If he didn't hate her, then why had he pushed her away? Why had he ignored her like they had never shared anything together? Nina had spent almost a year telling herself that she wasn't in love with Bellamy Blake anymore, but seeing him again she couldn't tell herself that anymore. Of course she was still in love with him and being stuck down here with him wasn't going to help her by any means. Even if he continued to be an ass, she couldn't hate him. She had tried literally everything to stop caring about him, but a year later and she still couldn't hate him. She shrugged her shoulders, not really believing his words but not sure what else to say. It's quite possible that he was just saying that to make his life easier on the ground now that she was here.

"I know," she said softly. She knew he wasn't the same because she knew that she wasn't the same either. Everything had changed and in turn, it had changed her. She didn't trust anyone anymore and she didn't let anyone in. She had done that once and it had come back to bite her in the ass and break her heart. But she didn't want her entire life to revolve around a guy and how he had broken her heart. She was stronger than that and she knew it. "I don't know who I am anymore either," she confessed.

Nina walked over to the wall in the dropship and leaned against it, sliding down until she sat with her back against it. She stretched her legs out in front of her, not realizing until now how tired she had actually been. The trip had been exhausting and dealing with Bellamy had only made her mentally and emotionally tired. It was tough to deal with someone you still cared about when you knew they didn't feel the same way. Nina was being such a girl and she hated it. She hated questioning everything she said around him. She hated how unsure she felt about everything. She just wanted to be normal. She wanted to feel normal.

A sigh escaped her lips. "It doesn't really matter what I want, does it?" She asked. It was more of a question to herself but knew that Bellamy could hear her words perfectly. To be blunt, she still wanted him. She missed their silly conversations and the times where she had actually gotten him to cuddle (because he was the greatest cuddler). But she knew she would have to ignore all of that and just find something to focus on down here. Anything. She would take literally anything else to focus on to get her mind off of things she shouldn't be thinking about. 


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy watched her slide to the ground, his back against the wall of the dropship as he maintained his own distance. As if the need for physical distance could somehow reflect that same need for emotional distance. It was safest that way, undoubtedly. "Down here, you can be whoever you want to be." Because the laws of the Ark did not constrain them. It didn't control them. Bellamy's manipulation of them was also giving the delinquents the idea of freedom. Of liberation from the oppressive laws that had gotten them all arrested and sent down here to essentially die.

It was her latter spoken statement -- or question rather -- that caused Bellamy to slightly clench his jaw. Though the words were unsaid, he knew what she meant. And he didn't know how to give her that. She was his first and only romantic relationship and . . . that would always mean something. "I don't know if I can give you that." She didn't have to say the words for him to know what she was talking about. They knew each other well enough. "And it's for your own good." Her own safety. Because people he was close to, got hurt. And he sure as hell didn't want anything to happen to her, least of all because of him.

[Nina Eaton]

She felt like a sap and she knew she would berate herself for saying these things to him tomorrow. Nina blamed it on her exhaustion and knew that she would be fine tomorrow. At least, that's what she hoped for. She could never pinpoint her emotions when she was around Bellamy and she hated that. She had easily been able to have a physical relationship with another guy on the Ark after Bellamy had pushed her away and had been able to keep emotions out of it. Perhaps it was because her emotions were still tied up with another guy, but she had been capable of it all the same. Maybe she would have to find another distraction while they were down here, but most of these kids were under eighteen and Nina had a hard time getting past that. But she would figure it out; she always did.

His words about being whoever she wanted to be down here didn't really register with her. She didn't care about being someone she wanted to be. She was fine with herself, minus the annoying emotions regarding Bellamy. She was strong and stubborn and good at making decisions. Nina thought she was strategic when needed and knew that having someone else down here with guard experience could only help them. But maybe she needed to make herself feel numb around everyone. If she involved feelings then things would get messy. She couldn't afford to care about anyone down here. Her feelings for Bellamy were already screwing with her head and she had only been on Earth for a few hours. 

Nina looked up at him when he told her he couldn't give her that. She wanted to know what he was assuming, but she had a feeling she already knew. She hadn't said the words out loud but Bellamy knew her well enough to know what she was thinking; and she hated it. He wasn't allowed to push her away and then do those types of things. She didn't know if she wanted to smack him or rip his shirt off. She scoffed and shook her head when he spoke his last sentence. "You don't know what's good for me," she said. "And you don't have a say in that anymore." Not since he had dumped her. 


Bellamy Blake