A New Dawn

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He honestly wasn't entirely certain as to how she was going to react. He'd never been in this position before; never serious enough with someone to tell them about past women he slept with. It felt like ages until she finally spoke, thanking him for telling her. It wasn't something she had to thank him for, and he wondered if that was all there was to it. He watched her carefully, as if trying to read what expression he saw on her face. He hoped she knew that whatever his past was, he was now completely committed to her, and he would never betray that.

He would never betray her. He refused to let this make things awkward between them, especially with how much they had admitted tonight. And how they had lost the last week of being together. He walked up to her, his hand moving to cup her chin, slightly tilting her head up. "I love you, Clarke," he reminded her, never wanting her to forget it; never feeling like these words could be said too many times. He then leaned forward, kissing her lips softly but filled with emotion to support his words. Eventually he pulled away, keeping his lips hovering over hers. "Let's go to bed," he suggested. Just, lay down and try to forget all else. Focus on being together, not even just the two of them . . . but the three of them.

[Clarke Griffin]

She needed this. All she needed was this, at least right then. She needed him to be close, to reassure her and he did. It was as if he could read her mind, as if he could see the wheels in her mind turning, thinking things over that her mind should not linger on. She should linger on this, on them, on what they were building even if they worked this together entirely too fast and with a mixed up order that would have resulted in at least one of them being floated back on the Ark. Now though she could enjoy this soft, loving kiss and him being there, with her. A soft kick reminded her of how untrue this thought was. He was not just with her. This baby seemed to be already quite possessive of its father. She couldn’t blame it in the least. “I love you, too.”

This would be their evenings – at least if he was there in the evening. Duties could always keep him away. Clarke didn’t even know if he had seen the bed they would share from now on. It was huge, even by her standards. It almost equaled the size of her parents bed back in the day. And it had an actual mattress. Clarke just silently led him inside. Were words even needed? Now that they were here, had a protected home, Clarke had taken to wearing some indoor clothes again, lighter, she she began to slowly undress, not minding him watching. He had technically seen it all before. Once only wearing her panties, she reached for a long thing shirt to put on before climbing into bed, sighing once again at the softness of it.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Hearing her return the words was all the reassurance he needed. Not that he doubted them any more, but it showed that this revelation would not come between them. It made him appreciate who she was all the more. She could have easily gotten upset, yelled at him for it, been bitter and angry . . . but she didn't, she wasn't. She was far more intelligent than that. She wasn't like a typical woman, which was why he had fallen in love with her and no one else. She led him to what would not be their shared bedroom. He marveled at the size of the bed; it was an actual bed. His eyes didn't remain on it for long though; instead they went over to her as he watched her undress. He slightly parted his lips, watching her in awe, wondering how someone could be so beautiful? He wished he could show her just how much he loved her, more so than what they had done the first time.

He knew he was just staring, but couldn't help it. It was as if he had been in some sort of trance. One that he didn't break out of until she moved to the bed and pulled herself under the blankets. Bellamy followed suit; he first removed his shirt and then his pants, dressed only in his lower under layer. He had been in those clothes for a week straight and it felt good to finally get out of them. He moved to the bed as well, slipping under the blankets. He moved closer to her, her back against his chest as he wrapped an arm around her. Furthermore, his hand of his draped arm slipped under her night shirt, gently rubbing against the skin of her protruding belly. He wanted to not only touch her, but be as close to their child as he could. He then lightly kissed her neck a few times, heavily exhaling at her scent and how soft her skin was, before just resting his head against the pillow, still faced toward her.

[Clarke Griffin]

In his embrace she felt entirely wrapped up in him, entirely safe. He had them, her and their baby. Should something happen to her when the baby came, she knew he would have them. He would be there for their little one. Clarke felt like time could easily stand still or accelerate, because all that mattered to her was here. He was here, holding her, their child was inside her, moving just gently around, maybe lazily turning. She could easily fall asleep like that. Maybe that was the plan. They were together. This would be their family, their families home. This was it for them maybe, for her it might be it, home. It was no place. It was them. And for him someone else belonged to it.

“While you were gone, when Octavia returned from her attempt to find you, we talked. It’ll still be a long way, but I’m trying. For the two of you.” And honestly she could have no better reason. She never had a better reason than that. Anything for them, even her life, especially her life. “This feels right.” Too right maybe, but she wanted to just rest in this moment. And tonight she could, once more. In a not too far future there might be a tiny human being between them or over in the next room.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She explained that she had spoken to Octavia, and that she was trying. Bellamy greatly appreciated that. His sister was . . . so different. He knew she was on the path of changing, but when he saw her after coming out of Mounth Weather, she looked completely like a Grounder. He had found out over the past few months what that transformation had entailed. But she was still the same Octavia he loved. She was still his sister. "I appreciate that, Clarke," he told her, wanting her to know that. "I'll talk to her as well." He wanted Octavia to hear from him how he felt about Clarke.

"Maybe the three of us can work on the nursery together some time." A way for the three of them to bond, sharing a common love for the innocent child that grew a little more each day in Clarke's womb. Hearing her say that this felt right, well, Bellamy couldn't agree more. "For the first time in a long time, everything feels right." Because they were together. Physically. Emotionally. Every sense of the word, they were together. He had finally been able to tell her her loved her, thanks to her initial admittance. He kissed her cheek, never wanting to let her go, almost feeling like this was some surreal dream. Or that he had died in the woods and this was the afterlife.

[Clarke Griffin]

“Four.” The four of them, because Clarke had no illusion that Octavia would bring Lincoln along as well. He was already helping with the pregnancy so much, despite being loyal to Octavia. She never once wanted to endanger the baby, even before knowing it was a family member of hers. So she suspected Lincoln would be along to help them. It would only be fair. The thought of that, while terrifying because she was still not sure if Octavia would forgive her, it was right for them to have, for at least Bellamy and his sister to share and for this baby to get. The child was innocent, it deserved to have his or her aunt as well. 

After a soft nod, Clarke closed her eyes. Hope of Jake settled slowly, the warmth at her back, the security of having him with her in this bed, it easily lured her to a dreamless, comfortable sleep. All was well. All would be well. In those moments of sleep and dreams their baby would be born strong and healthy and she could watch Bellamy hold it. While reality might be very, very different from that. 

Clarke woke up in the middle of the night, not due to any nightmare. She slowly, carefully disentangled herself from Bellamys hold, to leave the room. Only a few minutes later she returned to lay back down in bed. This time sleep did not take her as something changed: The level of activity inside her womb. How was she supposed to sleep when a certain little someone decided to be very much awake?

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She spoke of how there would in fact be four of them, and she was quite right about that. Lincoln would be involved in this child's life, and Bellamy didn't consider it to be a bad thing. Despite what happened in the mines, Bellamy still trusted Lincoln with his sister, knowing that he would protect her. Bellamy didn't comment as soon after, he felt into a sleep, assuming Clarke did too from her silence. Bellamy seldom ever fell into a deep sleep. Part of him was always on alert, always prepared for anything could happen, especially at night.

The smallest sound or movement tended to wake him. So when he felt Clarke move from the bed, he immediately woke up, though kept his eyes closed. He slowly opened them when he heard her leave the room, and was planning on following her to make sure all was well, but soon enough, she came back. He closed his eyes again as she got into bed but knew that she wasn't asleep. "Everything ok?" He asked, slowly opening his eyes as he looked at her. Was it her mind or the baby that was keeping her awake, he wondered.

[Clarke Griffin]

Clarke almost physically jumped when she heard him. She had hoped he’d sleep through it. They would have to work on that. But it was cute how he woke at her movements. Unless he was always awake. Again something they had to work on. She did not want him to lay awake, not in their bed. She wanted him to be able to rest his mind here, feel safe with her. Unless of course he had a good excuse like she did. Clarke reached out to run her hand through his hair again, not having missed how he reacted to that earlier. Then she reached out for his hand to press it to her belly once more. 

“Everything is perfect, Bellamy. Just had to go to the toilet and now someone doesn’t feel like going to sleep again.” And that someone was certainly not her. With her state it made no difference. She had no work to do in the morning, would spend most of the day safely indoors with a sketch pad and a lot of time on her hands. Sleep was actually a good way to spend the day. “You can go back to sleep if you want.” Soon enough that might not be an option for him anymore due to the little ones happy hopping in her belly. At least she hoped it was happy. 

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

The soothing action of her hand running through his hair, and adjusting his hand to touch her belly, was enough to easily lull him to sleep. But he managed to stay awake, even if he did close his eyes for a few brief moments at the calming sensation of her touch, before looking at her once more. He was assured to hear that everything was fine; perfect, she had described it at. Only that their baby was quite awake. She then told him that he could go back to sleep if he wanted. Truth be told, moments like this were few and thus precious. He'd much rather be awake in the company of Clarke and their baby, rather than sleeping away the rare moments they had like this one.

His hand caressed her stomach, enjoying the feel of touching her skin, without a need to show restraint. Before, he had just been the father; now, he his role had changed or grew to be the man she loved. Both roles, felt wonderful to fulfill. "Maybe what I want is to spend time with you and our baby," he suggested, almost teasingly but it was with truth. He could sleep later. He wanted to be awake with her until both she and the baby fell asleep once more. This time it wasn't even adrenaline forcing him away; it was sheer desire to want to be. "What usually helps calm him or her to sleep?" Bellamy asked, hating that he didn't know. With Octavia, he had read to her, told her stories, even sang to her, not only before she was born but in the years after as well. He wanted to know if there was anything that their baby particularly enjoyed already.

[Clarke Griffin]

“You know we’re not running away, right?” Not anymore. For one: The baby when it was born would not run for at least a year. And Clarke couldn’t physically run at the moment. Well she could, if danger was really imminent, but as long as it wasn’t the danger of falling and hurting the baby was just too great. So no, neither of them would run away. Nor did he have the desire to run from him. Maybe in the morning he’d have time to stay here just a little longer. He had been missing for so long, maybe the people would allow him to rest for a day from his exertions of simply staying alive. At least she hoped for it. He needed rest, even if it was just to stay here with them. Clarke hoped that being around them was something he enjoyed. Then again he said he loved them, right?

“Oh I have no clue.” So far the calming the baby down in the womb had not worked for her. She sat it out, waited for the baby to calm and then slept again. Rubbing her belly so far hadn’t worked. Speaking to it hadn’t worked for her either. It didn’t matter. The baby would eventually settle and then she could sleep as well. She could watch him now. It was the first time he was there, with them, as more than just a friend and father of the kid. "Nothing seems to calm this kid down."

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Clarke asked -- rhetorically he assumed -- that neither fo them were running away. That much was true, but it didn't mean that circumstances would allow them this time together. Hell, the last week proved how things could just as quickly turn. "I know," he began. "But like you said, anything can happen." And he would leave it at that, not wanting to stress her out or have her mind race with worries that he was certain were already within her. Instead, it was easier to focus on trying to find a way to lull the baby to sleep.

He smiled when she said that nothing seemed to calm their baby. It was something he could smile about now, but it may be an entirely different matter when he or she joined them in this world and they still couldn't calm the baby down. "I used to tell Octavia stories about Roman history and mythology," he said, a smile still on his lips as he recalled that time with such ease. "I'm pretty sure I bored the hell out of her that she eventually went to sleep," he added on, unsure if that was actually true. Either way, the story telling had worked. He didn't often talk about his past, but with Clarke, it was easy to open up about such things.

[Clarke Griffin]

She had sometimes imagined their life together, his and Octavias, but neither of them spoke much about it and she couldn’t fault them for it. It was private and she had been, back then a friend at most. Now he told her this and she intended to treasure it. Mythology sounded nice, too. She heard a few stories herself, liked them, sometimes. Maybe their kid had that streak, too. 

“I doubt you bored her. I think you fascinated her.” Given how she knew Octavia to look at her brother, to want him to be safe and how protective she was of him now, like he was protective of her, she knew that he could have probably read her a manual on how to clean an oven and Octavia would have found it the most interesting story in the world, simply because it came from her brother. 

“Go ahead, let’s try it.” Not necessarily the mythology thing. She feared it was something Octavia was fiercely protective of, as this was something they shared. She did not want to take that from her. But it was worth a shot. Clarke knew she herself found his voice very soothing at times, maybe their child agreed with their mother on that one. “Try and speak to him or her. Let’s see if Dad’s voice does the trick.” She couldn’t fault them for it if that was the case. The babys father had a way…

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He still wasn't too sure about that, but part of him knew Clarke was right; Octavia, at least in the later years, had taken an interest to it. Maybe that's because it was all she had to listen to. His grinned when she told him to give it a try and adjusted his position. His head hovered over her stomach as he couldn't help but kiss it a couple more times before he tried to think of a good story to tell the baby. He thought of what the first story his own mother had told him about, and decided to go with that.

"The story of Eos," he began to say. He purposely chose the Greek name, rather than the Roman . . . which was Aurora. Yet saying his mother's name didn't exactly come with ease. Not after he was the reason she was killed. Yet, he could still honor he memory by telling the story of the Goddess Aurora, which he did. He started from the beginning, adding in a little bit of his own elements to bring in other figures of mythology. He hadn't told such stories for so long . . . and found himself getting rather engrossed in it. His hand moved over her stomach every so often, trying to feel what he could from the baby's reaction, wondering if it was actually helping or hindering the initial goal which was to bring Hope or Jake to a peaceful slumber.

[Clarke Griffin]

Once he began his story, Clarke was completely still. It felt like this should be a moment shared between the baby and Bellamy only. If she could, she’d like to remove herself to let just let them have this moment. In a few weeks she would be able to do that. She would be able to leave the room when he spent a moment just with his child. For now she watched in silent fascination. She listened to the deep voice retell the story and focused on what she felt. Inside her their child slowly stopped moving. For the first time someones actions seemed to actually calm down the unborn child. He wasn’t even halfway through the story she knew when the babies movements had completely stopped. He or she was either resting or listening. Clarke felt her heart swell at that. It was new to her, but wonderful. If only that could be a proof without a doubt, that some people might need, that he was the father. She knew it without a doubt, of course. 

Clarke continued to look at him as he kept telling the story, even though the baby was probably already asleep, yet here he was, continuing his efforts for their child. With how warm she felt, how wonderful this was to her, Clarke felt her own tiredness again. Within a few more moments the soft voice of the man she loved, had not only sent the child back to sleep, but the babys mother could no longer hold her eyes open, drifting into a slumber herself.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy had been so engrossed in the story, that he continued on, even when he felt the baby's actions move to a slow, until they stopped all together. He wanted to get to the end of his story, just in case. When he did get there, he smiled, no longer feeling the baby's movements. He looked up at Clarke to say something, but immediately noticed that she had fallen asleep too. It only made his smile remain in place, glad to have given them both peace enough to be lulled to sleep. Kissing her stomach, he pulled down her shirt and then rested his head on the pillow next to her. He watched her for several moments, casually resting his arm around her.

"Bored or fascinated," he said with an amused smile. He gently touched her lips with his own, before he rested his head once again and closed his eyes. Sleep came surprisingly fast, and the next time he opened his eyes, it was morning. He didn't want to get up though. He wanted to stay like this for the rest of the day, wishing he could. But there was still a lot that had to be done. He needed to shift his things in here, and then check to make sure they did have enough food considering the last failed hunting attempt. He also wanted to help work on the nursery, and speak to Octavia about the current situation. But as he made a mental list of things to do, he made no effort to move. Not yet. He was far too comfortable at the moment.