A New Dawn

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He was glad to hear that. He had to admit that it was definitely helpful to have Lincoln around. He knew remedies that they didn't, considering him and his people have lived on earth for nearly a century. With the lacking technologies that were destroyed with the Ark, they were starting from scratch it seemed. "Why did you faint?" He asked, wondering if the reason was obvious. Raven had made it sound like it was because of him, because of the stress he was causing her.

But he was curious to know if there was more to it. If there was a specific reason. He had been worried for her when he heard the news. Everyone had. He slightly smiled when she spoke of how the baby was a carnivore and that she wanted ice cream. He wished he could provide all that she wanted, but they had such limited resources . . . and ice cream seemed like an impossibility. "We'll make it work," he stated. Even if that meant sneaking extra meat for her, or going on extra hunts. He didn't care. She needed to be eating plenty since she was eating for two. "The ice cream thing may be a bit more difficult," he said, thinking aloud. "But we can at least take care of the carnivore bit." He moved both their hands to her stomach, his eyes going to it as he kept thinking of how there was a small life in there, growing each day.

[Clarke Griffin]

A valid question. Clarke smiled. The her the reason was so easy, yet so annoying. It wasn’t even a really bad thing. It just happened. It happened with many pregnancies, couldn’t even be considered a complication per say. It just happened. But she couldn’t help but attempt to tease him. They were so comfortable there, happy like they’ve been before. She wanted to keep that lightness as long as she could. “Because, Bellamy Blake, your kid is a little shit.” And this was actually a valid explanation for it. It was literally due to the kids behavior inside her. “The way the baby is lying sometimes, he’s lying on a vein or nerve, which is basically the off button for me. So your kid lies in a bad position and my lights go out because of it.” And it was not funny at all to know that any moment a little squirming something in you could turn around and just make you drop on the spot. 

“Can we? How?” What the hell did this man have in mind when he said they’d take care of the carnivore bit. And how? It wasn’t like he could just conjure up a cow or something. Something else he seemed to be able to conjure up. Their little hope had been perfectly still inside her, which had Clarke thinking the baby was sleeping, until he moved their hands to her stomach, which resulted in a second dance party, aimed at where his hand was. “I guess someone says hello.”


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He could hardly suppress an amused smile and ever so slight chuckle when she spoke of their child, explaining that he was lying on a vein or nerve which made her faint. While he of course didn't like the thought of her fainting, the fact that it was because of the way the baby was positioning itself . . . well, it certainly amused Bellamy. "That definitely sounds like my kid," he said with pride. "The little Blake pisses you off from the inside, and the grown up one pissess you off in person. Good family tradition," he added on teasingly, finding humor in that.

Besides, it was also good to know that she didn't faint but being overly sick, or stressed, or any other complication that could arise. "I'll think of something," he said casually. He hadn't been back to Mount Weather since what they did . . . but they had a lot of stuff in there. He wondered . . . would it be possible to get those resources. He then felt the baby kiss, as Clarke pointed out that someone was saying hello. "Well hey there baby," he said in response, his eyes continuing to look at her stomach. "Jake or Hope is pretty damn strong already." Which wasn't a surprise, considering who his or her parents were.

[Clarke Griffin]

“You grown up?” Clarke teased in return. She knew he was all grown up – in more than one way. Oh yes she knew about his damn size and maturity, she still couldn’t help teasing him. Yet it felt good, so very good how this teasing also showed him accepting the kid. His kid. She liked to hear him say it. Little Blake. Little Blake for sure, if he’d have it. That had been her question earlier, but he might need time to figure out if he, well wanted this publicly. She’d not force him into any commitment. Not to their baby, especially not to her. “Octavia doesn’t piss me off.” They rarely talked and mostly over Lincolns medicine and the babys development. She couldn’t blame her. What would she say when she found out about her actual biological relation to the baby?

“That’s your… that’s your Dad.” Clarke whispered. The word again felt way too good rolling over tongue. This was her babys dad. He was finally there, meeting his unborn child, but the fact remained he could not remember their night, the moment this miracle happened. It was miracle enough that through all that happened, Mount Weather and all the baby made it. Given how hard it was now, it wasn’t unlikely for her to miscarry. Luckily she didn’t. 

“Yes, thank god. Then again Jake or Hope will make his or her grand entrance in a little over two months. They better be strong.”


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He continued to smirk when she teased him about being grown up, and then spoke of how Octavia didn't piss her off. Octavia. She had changed so much here, which was expected as they had all changed. He knew that she had lost her place among the Grounders for him, but he had to admit that he was glad for it. Despite whatever peace they managed to attain with them, the Grounders were not to be trusted. At least Lincoln was here for her. "She doesn't know," he both stated and perhaps slightly questioned. No. He knew for sure she didn't, otherwise she would have come up to him. He also noticed that she didn't seem to be spending a lot of time with Clarke. There was a tension between them.

"I'll tell her tomorrow." Because he couldn't keep this from her. Nor did he have the slightest idea as to how she would react to this news. As soon as Clarke said the word dad . . . it filled his heart with a warmth that he didn't believe he was capable of feeling. Dad. He was going to be a father. He was going to father a child, with the woman he loved. Though the words were left unsaid, he still felt that love for her for his feelings for Clarke had never changed. Hell, if anything they grew, especially now with her carrying their child. "Two months," he repeated. He already knew what he was going to spend tomorrow doing. "She or he will be ready," he said confidently. "Ready and strong, like their parents." Like him, like Clarke. His gaze moved from her stomach to her face, looking into her eyes. "Thank you, Clarke," he told her sincerely. For, giving him this chance.

[Clarke Griffin]

“No she doesn’t.” She was half sure Octavia would probably be less than thrilled to know the baby Clarke was carrying was to be her nephew or niece. She was half sure she did not want to see her in the vicinity of her brother. She really fucked that up. A good portion of her wanted to ask him not to tell her tomorrow. One more day. This could not be all. Just this day, this night? She was right to cling to this night. Tomorrow would be hell then, she knew it. Good thing she was under bedrest anyway, she’d just extend it for herself, knowing what might happen.

He didn’t know, but this felt so final. His thank you did, he had nothing to thank her for. It was … it was that she needed him, she needed him before she discovered her pregnancy and now, too. But she screwed it up. Clarke felt tears well up in her eyes. Tomorrow he might find out… and she might lose him, for good. She would, she deserved it, but the little one didn’t. She didn’t know what to say. The tears flowed freely. She reached up to his cheek, holding it there for a moment, without a clue as to what to say. She loved him, but she knew, felt that this was probably it. “C… can you hold me tonight? Just for tonight."


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy wasn't sure if it was horomones or something else entirely, but there was indeed a cause for the sudden tears that fell from her eyes. He looked at her, any expression of amusement replaced with the same stoic face he usually held, though with a hint of concern. Was something bothering her? Something troubling her? She asked him to hold her and it wasn't anything she need request twice. For he himself wanted nothing more than that.

He moved his arm that had been propping up his head and wrapped it around her, his other one doing the same so that he held her against his chest, feeling her baby bump against him while her head was leveled with his neck, or wherever she wished to place it. He lowered his own head, so that his lips rested on the top of hers. Letting the soft kiss linger for a few moments, he wanted her to know something.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" It was a reminder to her, that she could tell him what was bothering her, or whether there was a reason she was crying . . . and at the same time, didn't want to press. There were things they didn't tell each other for sure, but he just wanted her to know that she could tell him if she so chose to. Those three words were getting dangerously close to being uttered, and he had to keep stopping himself. It wasn't what she needed right now. If in this moment, all she wanted was to be held, well then he would gladly and all too eagerly do that for her.

[Clarke Griffin]

With a soft sigh she rested against him, in his embrace. Clarke closed her eyes, hoping to stop the flow of tears, which came too sudden for her – damn hormones. This was nice, to be in his arms, to be able to close her eyes and pretend like it could be okay for a while, that they could do this together. Would he still be there for the baby? Even when he knew what she did to Octavia? And how would he know why? Octavias story would not entail her prime motivation, because Octavia did not know what that was. Octavia didn’t know she was almost mad with worry over Bellamy, that she did it to give him whatever outside chance they had, that a lot of her decisions were made to do whatever she could to get him out of there in one piece. Damn it. She could tell him, but she couldn’t at the same time. For now she just wanted to close her eyes, enjoy feeling him wrapped around her again, his strong arms holding her as she wrapped hers around his middle. With her head rested against his shoulder she closed her eyes.

“Not tonight.” She finally whispered against him. Not tonight. She might in the morning, might after Octavia had shared her view with him, which was a perfectly valid view and god she had every right to be just pissed at her. She should be and so should he. He should not want to touch or hold her but be disgusted by her, avoid her like before which was exactly why she clung to him now with eyes closed, listening to his heartbeat and breathing and just enjoying it while it lasted. They would still have to work out a lot. After he spoke to Octavia. For now sleep seemed to creep up on her, making it futile for her to attempt to stay awake. Soon her breathing evened out and she slept.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Not tonight. Bellamy could definitely accept that. He closed his eyes, finding this to be the most relaxed he had been in a while. A long while. He wasn't much of a deep sleeper, but he felt calm, knowing it had everything to do with the fact that he was holding her as he too drifted into a slumber. One that shockingly lasted until he felt the sun peeking through the sheets of their tent. He slowly opened his eyes, realizing he had slept soundly through the night. Now that was something he definitely wasn't used to . . . but something he could certain grow accustomed to.

He supposed it depended on how often Clarke would allow him to sleep by her side. His eyes rested on her face. She looked so peaceful, so at ease, so . . . beautiful. A soft smile formed on his lips, just watching her in this moment. It was a rare one, to see her sleeping so calmly considering all she had been through. He didn't want to move from this position, nor wake her in the process. So instead, he just watched her, wishing they could spend the day just like this. That they had the luxury to simply enjoy one another's company, act like two ordinary people . . . when the reality of who they were and where they were made that practically impossible to do.

[Clarke Griffin]

In the morning Clarke felt something familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. It was like waking from a dream, from a long lost good memory she had to bury a long time ago. Bellamy. For a moment Clarkes mind did not provide her with the memories of last night as she clung to sleep and snuggled into her pillow a bit more, her very human pillow. Slowly she realized that those was in no way a pillow, but a mans hard chest, whose arms were around her, holding her tight. It was as if she woke from a dream to a dream. Bellamy was actually here, holding her. She smiled up at him as soon as she noticed him being wide awake. So he even continued holding her despite the morning sun having woken him. To her own surprised she felt refreshed, almost normal, certainly stronger than she was used to since she discovered her pregnancy. 

“Morning.” She whispered against his shoulder, still a bit sleepy. Then again she as almost always sleepy, thanks to Jake or Hope. The baby was not moving, so she deduced it was happily asleep. Reluctantly Clarke let go of Bellamy and rolled over, to take a few sips of her drink. Then she rolled back over to face him. He probably had to work soon, she would have to, too, if her pregnancy wasn’t this complicated. “What do you have to do today?” If she could, she'd keep him right there all day, but she couldn't. And they had to speak a bit later, too. Still the people here, their people required at least him to do his duty - and her too since her current duty was to carry this baby, their hope. The kids who had been dropped here initially were still looking at Bellamy like a leader, which gave him a certain power and responsibility in Camp Jaha, which was one of the reasons, why she had to speak to him.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Whe she woke up he gave a small smile as she greeted him. "Morning, princess," he greeted in return. She reached over to drink the beverage Lincoln had made for her and then turned back around, asking what he had to do today. "The usual," he explained to her. He wanted to build a crib today but also wanted to surprise her with it so would keep that to himself until he wsa able to get it done.

"We're doing a weapon inventory check, and seeing how much food we have in storage." They would have to go hunting again but before then, would need to do a count of how much ammo they had. While they hunted with the weapons that they made rather than waste bullets, they still needed to be armed just in case. While he didn't want to move, he also wanted to ensure she was properly taken care of so he sat up in the bed, reaching for his jacket. "I'll get you some breakfast," he told her, wishing he could just lay with her all day but also knowing that things needed to get done. "How are you feeling?" He asked, she looked well but he wanted to ask to be sure, figuring this was going to be a daily inquiry . . . at least once a day anyway.

[Clarke Griffin]

The usual was usually him risking his life. To say it did not sit well with her was an understatement. She wanted him to be safe, but this was what he did, what he was good at. And the people needed him, didn’t they? Clarke had watched them in the time when he avoided her for thinking she was carrying Finns kid. They looked up to him, not only the kids they landed with, but a lot of people did now. What happened in Mount Weather had gotten him so much respect, some treated him like a hero. The people really needed him out there, more than he needed to be out there – more than she needed him. She nodded at his explanation. Part of her really longed to join them, to run with them, hunt, do something useful besides, well just being pregnant, but it would be bad for Jake or Hope, so it was out of the question from the beginning.

“Bellamy, you don’t have to. Mum will probably get some later when she comes.” But something told her that would not stop him from doing so. Something told her his earlier admittance of wanting to be in the babies life would hold true, that he wanted to take care of her for his kids sake, his unplanned surprise kid. She couldn’t complain. At least she knew now her kid had a father, a great father if she could judge from his big brother abilities to his abilities in being a father. 

“I’m good. I slept exceptionally well. I actually feel like I could run around the camp.” It was due to him being there, to feeling safe. His presence helped everything. “But I won’t. Babies needs come first, so Mummy Clarke will be good and sit in bed all day long.”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She said that he didn't have to, but he wanted to. He wanted to take care of her and their baby. "It's not a problem," he assured her. It was time that he step it up; that he play a proper role in Clarke and Hope or Jake's life. She answered his question by saying that she slept incredibly well, feeling as if she could run around the camp. He smiled at that. He imagined this was difficult for her, for she -- like him -- was not used to not doing anything.

While she had to rest and take care of herself, he could understand that frustration. She had been on the go non stop since they landed on Earth. To suddenly just, stop all that wasn't easy. "Why don't we go for a walk later on." Even if it was just around the camp. Exercise was also important for an expecting mother. It had been more and more difficult for his own mom to do that when she started showing, out of pure fear of discovery. "We'll go in the afternoon," he decided. Once he got some work done, and hopefully by then the crib would be complete so he could surprise her with it. "Fresh air is good as well," he added on with a hint of a smile. And he would feel far better being the one to go with her rather than have anyone else escort her around.

[Clarke Griffin]

It was fascinating how fast he adjusted to the idea of being a father, of being back in her life and of this new life they created in a night he did not even remember apparently – something she now just remembered again and again it felt hard. She had to accept it for what it was, one reason, why there was no way for her to tell him what she felt. Why should she, when she knew he didn’t feel the same way? They were friends, that was it. She had to make due with that fact. 

“I’d like that.” She really would like that, but after how long he avoided her, would this not raise questions? Then again he would probably not follow through on that, depending on whether or not he had the chance to speak to his sister and depending on what she told him. She didn’t want to get her hopes up, yet she could not help asking. “What will you tell people, Bellamy? We’ve not been seen together since I came here. They will have questions if you suddenly walk around with me.” The likes of Jasper and Monty could ask. The easiest answer: They were friends, nothing more, he was stepping in to make sure she got the fresh air they needed – not that the air in a tent was less fresh than outside. On a cold day the chill was unmistakable. “Thank you, for doing this, Bellamy. For taking care of me, of us.”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She was asking a valid question. What would they tell people. "Will they?" He asked, somewhat rhetorically. Everyone knew that they were friends, good friends at the very least. He often walked alongside her, armed with a gun, prepared to shoot down any threat. "Me walking alongside you won't be much different than them seeing us together in the past." Rumors may start, but nothing would be confirmed. He figured most people would assume the kid was Finn's, since the guy was way more vocal about his feelings for Clarke.

"With that said, we can't keep this from everyone forever. We're gonna need to figure out what to tell them. How to tell them." He didn't want to neglect his responsibility of being a father by not acknowledging that the kid was his. "Let me tell Octavia, first. She should hear it from me." Find out ahead of time before they announced it or, however they were going to proceed with this. He finally stood up, though paused when she thanked him for taking care of her and them. He lowered himself, his hands resting on the bed as he leaned toward her. "Thank me when I've done something worth being thanked for." Because so far, he hadn't done much other than stress her out, and cause her pain and anger. But, he would make it up to her. He had to.