Busted and Broken

[Nicolette Carmichael]

Nicolette was minding her own business, walking around camp, watching. It had only been a few days since the events at Mount Weather and it left everyone in a bad mood. It was awful to watch those that had suffered, suffer. She watched the faces of grief, the faces of anger, and those who tried to ignore all that. Clarke leaving was a huge surprise to everyone, but Nic thought it was quite brave. It sucked to leave like that, but... She understood why the girl did it. Though now all the blame was put on Bellamy. The whole camp was in a mess. 

Nic watched as people went about their lives, trying to make sense of what happened, and what she didn't see was the small pothole in the ground. Her right foot caught in it, and she stumbled forward, falling. She grunted loudly, and by some miracle no one had seen what had happened. While she had fallen there had been a loud click noise. Shit, she thought. Her leg. She sat up, and carefully maneuvered around so that she could stand again. It didn't work out very well, and she fell to the ground again, hearing a clang this time. Again, from her leg. She took a deep breath and continued. Finally she was able to stand, but only on her good leg. Great, she thought, now I need to fix it. 

As best as she could she hobbled to a nearby wall, and tried to assess damage. It wasn't something she could do herself. It was time to go and meet the infamous Raven. The mechanic. Slowly Nic made her way to the workshop. Along the way there were a lot of weird looks, but no one seemed to want to help. Everyone was in their own world. Finally, after what felt like eons, she made it to the workshop. She hobbled inside, her leg clicking every time she moved her bad leg, like clockwork. "Hello?" Nic called out. "Raven?" She walked in, glancing around for the girl. Nic was self-conscious about her leg, and she tried to avoid getting it fixed by mechanics or engineers as much as possible. But sometimes the damage was too much for her, and she couldn't fix it herself. 


------

cherry1

[cherry1]

Raven groaned in anger throwing a wrench to the ground. The loud clanging sound doing little to help with the frustration of her current predicament. This was supposed to be easy. A piece of cake but she just couldn’t get out of her own head. Inspecting the engine of the car they had just found and brought into her workshop one more time, as if the solution to fixing it would suddenly jump out at her. But that’s not how this worked. It wasn’t supposed to be taking this long, and she wasn’t feeling up to admitting defeat that was for sure. But she was finding it difficult to concentrate on the task when her mind was constantly being distracted by the chronic pain in her hip running through her leg. As if the damn thing wasn’t bad enough, she had to deal with the dull ache. It was affecting her work and she hated it. Let alone the nightmares that came every night since Mount Weather, she shivered at the memories.

Staring at it wasn’t exactly going to help. No, what she needed was a break. Something to take her mind off it so she could come back to the job with fresh eyes and maybe take a crack at it then. Picking the wrench up off the ground, Raven sat at her worktable. Maybe she just needed a drink. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, she heard the sound of someone entering the room. Without turning she slammed the wrench down on the table. “I just need a little more time okay?” she yelled, finally turning. “Oh,” It wasn’t Bellamy or the others who had brought the car in. Well that was an embarrassing outburst. “Sorry,” she vaguely recognised the girl, but with the recent events, never had a chance to really socialise. Holding out a hand, Raven slowly made her way over to her. “Nice to meet you…” she paused giving the other girl a chance to introduce herself. “And it seems you know who I am, so, how can I help?”

[Nicolette Carmichael]

Nic finally saw Raven sitting at her work bench, looking quite stressed. “I just need a little more time okay?” She shouted, causing Nic to jump instinctively. She had not expected that. Raven then seemed to realise that whoever she thought she was talking to was not her. She walked over, extending her hand out to Nic.  “Nice to meet you…”
"Nic." She replied, taking her hand, shaking it lightly, still slightly taken aback at Raven's earlier outburst. She didn't blame the girl, everything had been stressful as of late. 

“And it seems you know who I am, so, how can I help?” Raven said. 
Nic leaned against the wall, and awkwardly looked away. Right, she was here for a reason. For a moment she was stuck, too shy to say anything. How could she do this without sounding like a freak? She hadn't rehearsed what she was going to say. She had dreaded this meeting for a while, but it was bound to happen. Nic swallowed once, finally turning back to Raven, and tried a small, but shy smile. "My leg. It. It needs to get fixed." She tugged on her pants slightly, glancing down to show Raven her ankle. From there you could see some metal. Definitely not a real leg. It shocked most people, it even shocked herself sometimes when she woke from a dream where she didn't have this dumb prosthetic. "It's... A prosthetic." She added as an after thought, as if it wasn't obvious enough. 

[cherry1]

The girl, Nic, seemed nervous for some reason. It peaked her curiosity, wondering what she’d need her help to fix. Raven wasn’t sure what she could say or do to put her at ease waiting instead for her to eventually reveal what she needed her help with, not really sure what to expect. "My leg. It. It needs to get fixed." Now that, was definitely a surprise. A small smile appeared on Raven’s face. “Woah,” The word coming out of her mouth without her fully realising. She couldn’t help it. New things got her excited. And a prosthetic was definitely something she’d never worked with before. The closest thing being her own brace. This was going to be fun.

“Can I see it?” She asked, her eyes still inspecting the part Nic revealed, not even looking up. It was fascinating, but she didn’t want to be insensitive. It was clear the girl must be insecure about the leg, it didn’t take a genius to figure that out. Finally looking up, a slightly dangerous look of excitement in her eyes appeared which she quickly tried to subdue. But this was exactly what she needed. The perfect distraction from the car engine that she’d practically been praying for. This would be a piece of cake. The ideal job to concentrate on, to allow her to avoid much darker thoughts. Thoughts and memories that kept her awake at night. She would probably hug the girl if she was prone to that sort of thing. But she definitely wasn’t, choosing instead to right her previous words. Hoping to keep her relaxed and less anxious. “Sorry, I mean I can definitely fix it.” That was probably the more appropriate answer. Raven didn’t want to scare her off after all.

[Nicolette Carmichael]

Looking at Raven's reaction there was something in the pit of her stomach that made her feel somewhat better. There was no shock or disgust in the girl's eyes. Only excitement? Nic couldn't understand it, but she was surprised. She hadn't seen anyone excited by her prosthetic leg. No one. Not even Nic herself. She had only been glad that she didn't get kicked out of the guard after her accident. The insufferable thing had saved her life. In a matter of speaking. It was the only reason it kept her alive, kept her in the guard. 

“Can I see it?” The words shocked her even more than the excitement in Raven's eyes. Nic was flabbergasted, not sure what to do or say. This was different. Different than any reaction she had ever gotten. There had been sympathy, shock, disgust, awkwardness, uncomfortable looks, and of course the shunning. This was a good different. She immediately liked the girl, even if she still felt self conscious about her leg. But before she could say anything Raven fixed her words, and told her she could fix it. Thank goodness, Nic thought with a slight sigh and a nod. 

Then she was stuck. Right. She needed to take her leg off. The easiest way was to strip down and take it off that way. But... She didn't know Raven. Not at all. She wasn't going to just strip her pants in front of the girl. But she didn't want to walk all the way to the bathrooms and then back. That was her predicament. "Uh. I'll need to... take my pants off first." She said awkwardly. There was no way of saying it nicely. Her whole leg was a stupid, complicated contraption, which always reminded her that she wasn't quite whole, that she was always going to be different and that she was lucky to still be in the guard. It would always remind her of the accident that led up to this thing being attached to her leg by braces and buckles. 


----------

cherry1

[cherry1]

Raven stood patiently waiting for the girl to remove the leg unsure what the holdup was until she finally spoke. “Oh right, yeah sure.” Immediately turning around she cursed herself for being insensitive...again. Raven didn’t deal well with awkwardness. Preferring confrontation a million times over uncomfortable silence. “Let me know when you’re done.” Folding her arms, she wanted to ease the girl’s mind. It couldn’t be easy having a prosthetic leg, Raven could barely deal with her own bum leg. Choosing distractions rather than actually thinking or dealing with it. The prosthetic raised many questions in her mind, like how she lost her leg in the first place. When she lost it. But she should probably get to know her better first before digging into her past like that. Nic hadn’t come here for a friend, she’d come here for a mechanic.

It’s not like Raven was completely comfortable with her own disability. It constantly left her feeling inadequate every time she needed to ask for help with completing the simplest of tasks. And she hated feeling inadequate. Credit it to arrogance or the competitive nature within her, but ever since her leg stopped working she’d been building up frustration that she sometimes found hard to subdue. The pain in her hip since the blast not exactly helping matters. Wasn’t it about time that stopped? So all in all, she was just as self-conscious about her own leg as Nic seemed about hers. “So is Nic short for something?” She asked hoping to make conversation and ease the tension. God, she really wasn’t good at this sort of thing.

[Nicolette Carmichael]

It seemed that for a moment Raven didn't realise what was going on, but once Nic had spoken she seemed to understand, and turned her back towards her. It was all very awkward, and it seemed that Raven wasn't good with awkwardness. Nic did NOT blame her. She felt just as awkward. She just had to get through this, it's not like Raven was looking anyway. 
Nic undid her pants, and pulled them down as fast as she could, letting them drop to the ground. Now was the difficult part, and for some reason her hands were shaking. She had never tried to undo them with someone standing so close. It was more that she was self conscious about her leg, and for some reason it never got easier to see it. It had been years, how was it that she still couldn't see it without cringing lightly? 

Undoing all the buckles Raven asked her a question. About her name. "Oh." Nic said, leaning her body against a wall, she could already feel the weight of the prosthetic leaving. "The name's Nicolette. Nic is just easier to say." Though truthfully no one but her best friend had actually called her Nic, not until she had joined the guard, and had to talk to more people. For a while it had only been him. But she also thought that it made her sound more... Like a guard. There weren't a lot of girls in the guard, and a name like Nicolette was feminine, which she absolutely wasn't. 

Finally she managed had gotten her leg off, and it clattered to the floor loudly. "Crap." She muttered as she wobbled. It was always an odd feeling, not having her weight distributed on her right side, it made her feel lighter, but more off balanced. That was why she was leaning against the wall. She had learned from experience that if she didn't lean against or sit on something she would fall over, and that was just embarrassing, and made life difficult. Quickly she bent down again and hopped while trying to get her pants back on. "I'm decent again." Nic finally told Raven. Grabbing her leg from the ground, she held it in her arms. It was a pretty big thing with her being tall. The thing was pretty ugly, just a metal infrastructure, with a metal foot on the end, her boot now still connected.

-----------------

cherry1 

[cherry1]

Raven stood patiently, playing with her hands as she waited for Nic to remove the prosthetic, careful not to turn and make the situation all the more awkward. “Nicolette, it’s pretty.” Not a name she’d heard before. But something about the name Nic seemed to suit the girl better. Not that Raven knew her all that well. At the sound of metal clanging to the floor, she very nearly turned around to help, just to make sure everything was okay. But as soon as Nic spoke she stayed put, confident that she was fine. The girl had obviously done this before, several times a day probably. She didn’t need Raven to try and save the day or anything. She was perfectly competent.

"I'm decent again." Raven turned around to see her holding the prosthetic up like a log. The look on her face made it evident that she was insecure about it. That perhaps she even hated it. It was a look she related to on a deep level. A look she’d been trying to hide every time she had to put the brace around her own leg just to walk. It made her feel weak and incomplete. She couldn’t even imagine how she’d feel if she’d lost her whole leg. “Excellent craftsmanship,” Raven said more to herself than to Nic, her eyes glued to the metal contraption. Her hand ghosted over it, taking in each screw and each bend and gear until she located the problem with just her eyes, her hand hovering over it.

“May I?” She asked before taking the prosthetic and laying on her workbench. Quickly pulling out a chair, she set it next to her, with a small smile. “Here, make yourself at home.” Not wanting to force Nicolette to ask for it. Raven understood the aversion she might have to asking for help better than anyone. “It’s quite beautiful really,” It was almost artistic the way whoever had built this moulded the metal. “I can definitely fix it but,” Taking the boot off the end and setting it down, she turned to Nicolette with a bit of a sheepish look on her face, hoping Nic would agree to the proposition she was about to make. “I could also make a couple improvements on the way?” She so wanted to work on this prosthetic, it was the perfect job. New and exciting, just what she needed.

[Nicolette Carmichael]

There was a look in Raven's eyes that said that she felt the same as Nic did. About not having complete control over your own body, to have something help where it shouldn't necessarily be needed. And in that moment Nic knew she had come to the right person. There was a connection, and Nic had never known it before. It was exciting and yet a little scary. 
But the look was whisked away as Raven glanced down at the contraption that she hated, and yet is saving her life, day in and day out. It was a rather odd sensation, and even after all this time she was still not used to it. To hate something that helps make your life better was a terrible, yet almost necessary. She had yet to figure out how to balance those feelings. 

Raven's eyes were wide with wonder, and it was intriguing to see someone actually appreciate the prosthetic, Nic certainly didn't. Most people shunned from it, and her when they saw it. But not Raven, and it was a slight relief. Nic had nodded to Raven to say it was ok for her to take, and Raven handled the leg carefully. All Nic could do was watch. And when she got offered the seat Nic couldn't help smile. It wasn't a gesture of 'you need help', it was genuinely a gesture of 'if you need it you can have it. It was kind. 

She was luckily close enough to stretch her body out to the chair, and grab a hold of it with her hands, balancing herself out. With only two hops she made it to the chair and sat down, with a soft sigh. It gave her good leg a rest. A chance to calm down. Sitting on a chair with only one leg dangle over the seat was somehow Nic's preferred seating arrangement. Sure the prosthetic helped her to do her job and get around, but the hated the way if felt on her, and how heavy it was. She felt so free whenever it was off. But at the same time it reminded her of what she had lost.

At Raven's suggestion of making a few changes Nic grinned at her. "Do what you please. I wouldn't mind a change." And it was the truth. This thing hadn't been changed much in the years since it was built. If Raven had ideas she wasn't going to stop the girl. There was no point. If it could be better then she would try anything to get that done. 

---------------

cherry1