My Sacrifice

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Marcus Kane

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy had just left his family's apartment; the home he grew up in. Never, had he felt so unwelcome in it. He was forcing back the tears from having gotten kicked out by his mother. All he could do was desperately hope that the brief conversation he had just had with her . . . would not be his last. That she would want to see him again before the culling. That they would be granted the opportunity to say goodbye. The fear in his heart was that he wouldn't. That he would leave this world, the words of getting out being the last ones he heard his mother say to him. She needed time to process this, but unfortunately, time was not something they had the luxury of. He could only hope. Hope that they could have a proper goodbye.

But for now, he was on his way to see his grandmother. He just needed to compose himself after the heartbreaking conversation he had just had. He needed to be strong, even though it threatened to make him break. He managed to suppress the tears, wishing to make no show of them. He didn't want this to be harder on anyone than it already was. He made his way to his grandmother's residence, knocking on the door and after only a few moments, it was opened to reveal his grandmother. She stepped aside so that he could enter, at which point he saw his father there. He locked eyes on Marcus for a few moments, unable to fully hide the emotions in his face before he forced his gaze away, turning his attention to his grandmother. He was glad his father was here. So very glad for it.

[Marcus Kane]

Marcus heard the knock, and watched his mother as she went to answer it. He was surprised that it was Bellamy. It wasn't a good sign that he was here, so soon after he went to tell his mother. Marcus could tell there was something wrong by the look on his face, the emotion that was there just on the edge. Pushing to a stand he walked over, and pulled his son into a hug, which he could tell surprised his mother. She shut the door and begin fussing in that way she had were she wanted to take care of everyone. 'Bell! Marcus! What is going on!' She asked, her hands going to Bellamy, and he could tell she was not only worried but afraid. 'Has something happened?'

Marcus pulled back, and took a deep breath, allowing Vera a chance to step closer and hug her grandson. Once she had hugged him, Marcus pulled out a chair for her. "Mom, come sit down and let Bellamy talk." He would let Bellamy sit before her and he would stand behind her to give her support. Marcus wanted to ask Bellamy about what happened but he knew now wasn't the time. First they needed to tell Vera, and then he would ask his son about what happened with his mother. Then he would seek out his wife.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Marcus Kane

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Marcus gave Bellamy what he needed most in that moment: the warm embrace of his father's arms. And it did indeed provide him a bit of a comfort, slightly softening the painful aftermath of his mother's reaction. Furthermore, Vera noticed that there was something troubling him so she too reached out and Bellamy immediately returned it, wrapping his arms around his grandmother. A woman he loved so dearly. This was not going to be easy, and it made him all the more grateful that his father was here.

When they pulled away, Marcus urged Vera to sit down, and as she did, Bellamy moved to where she was. He crouched down in front of her, her hands in her lap. He moved his hands over hers, resting them on top as he casually held them. He looked into her eyes, taking a deep breath to gain the courage to tell her. She would be the last person he had to tell, but that by no means made it the easiest. No matter how many people he told . . . it did not get easier with the frequency in which he shared this news. "Grandma," he began to say, his voice coming out more steady than he felt his heart was moving at. He looked at her, keeping his gaze fixated on her. "I'm volunteering for the culling."

[Marcus Kane]

Bellamy moved before Marcus' mother and keeled down, and Marcus put his hands on her shoulders. He could tell by how stiff she was that she knew something was going on, and she was worried. "Grandma," Bellamy begun, and Marcus closed his eyes, bracing himself for the words he already knew were coming. He hated them, and would continue trying to make sure that Bellamy was sure--but he wasn't going to spend the time he had left with Bellamy pointlessly fighting. "I'm volunteering for the culling." His heart hurt that the words, and his hands tightened on his mother's shoulders.

'What?' She was looking at Bellamy, and he could only guess--all too well--what she was thinking. 'No! This . . . Marcus!' She looked up at him, and he nodded. 'Stop him, Marcus!' Marcus needed a moment before he could speak, "Bellamy is aware that I will try and talk him out of this, but he has also made himself very clear in his decision." He told her, and could see her tears. 'No!' Turning back to Bellamy her hands pulled form him and went to his cheeks! 'Oh my boy!' Marcus could hear the emotion in her voice, and her arms flung around her grandson's neck as she begin crying. 'Don't do this, Bell! We can find another way!'

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Marcus Kane

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

With everyone's reactions, asking him not to do this . . . there was something especially heartbreaking about his grandmother's. Perhaps because she was asking a son to save a son. Turning to marcus, telling him to stop this. He didn't want his death on his father's conscience. He wished he could free him of that but he knew that all these deaths would weigh heavily on him. Bellamy looked to his father for a moment while he spoke of how Bellamy's mind was made up, before the sole Kane son looked back to Vera. The pain and tears in her eyes were something Bellamy so deperately wished he wasn't the cause of.

But she was one of the people he was doing this for, and he need just continue to remind himself of that. When she put her arms around his neck, Bellamy wrapped his own around his grandmother once more, her next words causing further heratbreak. "I know that you all will find a way," he said confidently, but not to save him; to save the surviving Arkers after the culling. "But I need to do this. It's exactly where I should be." It was the most effective way to protect his family. "I love you Grandma," he told her, his head nestled against her, feeling that familiar sentiment of a grandmother's hug . . . as if he was a little boy. He felt like that little boy. She would pray for him, and dthat had always given him strong comfort. "Will you pray for me, with me?" He asked her, trying to keep the pain out of his voice. But he needed it. He wanted to hear his grandmother's prayers . . . one last time.

[Marcus Kane]

"I know that you all will find a way," Bellamy told him, and Marcus had to choke back the emotion because he felt as if they both knew it wasn't going to happen. That when he tried it would be desperate attempts, but that Bellamy would not be swayed. He was going to loose his son. "But I need to do this. It's exactly where I should be." And he was going to loose his son very, very soon. He wondered which might have been easier, a sudden lose or this long goodbye. Neither seemed good. He wanted more time!

"I love you Grandma," At these words Vera started crying more, and Marcus wished he could have spared her this. "Will you pray for me, with me?" Marcus closed his eyes for a moment--these words hurting more then the others because he knew this would be the thing that comforted Vera more then he could. She must have nodded because she stood up. 'I need to change before we go' she told Bellamy, lingering to look at him before turning to walk to her room. Marcus waited until she was gone before speaking. "That was good of you to offer. It will mean a lot to her." He told his son.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Marcus Kane

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy gave a soft smile as his grandmother agreed without hesitation, and spoke of getting ready before they go. Bellamy then looked to his father, rising to his feet to somewhat meet his eye level. Bellamy felt his heart swell with the relief and joy over knowing that he cuold do something to help comfort his grandmother. While he knew it would help ease it . . . it felt all the more sentimental to hear coming from the woman's son. "To her and I both," Bellamy stated. For her prayers would not only comfort her, but also him.

"Will you be joining us?" Bellamy asked, unsure if it would have the same affect on his father . . . or if he would come for the company. He knew Marcus would have a great deal to do with the preperations of everything. So either way, Bellamy would not be disappointed should he not be able to come. He of course understood. His mind went to his mother for a moment, wondering if he should mention to his father the support she may need right now . . . and at the asme time, it should be Bellamy supporting both of them, not asking them to rely on each other during the time he was still breathing.