Use Me, Abuse Me

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy was nervous. Ever since his mother had her second pregnancy and planned on keepibng it, the Blakes were in a state of perpetual fear of being discovered. But right now, it was another kind of nervousness. Once that consisted of Bellamy already having been caught -- or well, Octavia getting caught due to his recklessness. He had thought with his status as Officer now, he would be able to sneak her into the party. But an unexpected occurance took place that caused a surprise inspection.

Bellamy had nearly been caught with Octavia, but Roma helped distract them. And now, came the required explanation. He owed her that because he was well aware he couldn't get away with not telling her. The two of them had become . . . well, they were close he supposed one could say. Truth be told, they never had that conversatin about their relationship. Bellamy couldn't be in a relationship with anyone; his priority was Octavia. And he was a young Officer, one of the youngest, 23 years old.

Right now, he was making his way to Roma's. When he returned to the party, he told her that he would come by tomorrow to explain things. So here he was. He knocked on the front door, assured that her parents would not be home. They needed to speak in complete privacy. This wasn't something that would be easy to say. Bellamy had never told anyone of Octavia -- obviously -- and now he had been caught red handed. He hadn't even told their mother what had happened and Octavia had agreed not to either. But Roma, she would be the one that determined what would happen. For the longest time, Octavia's fate rested with the other Blakes . . . now, it rested in Roma's hands.

[Roma Bragg]

Roma had been waiting for an hour for Bellamy to show up, and she was really starting to feel nervous. She wasn't sure what was about to happen but he said that he would come by and explain. All she knew was that he was hiding someone, and that alone was very telling. Why did you need to hide something if you were not doing anything wrong?

Her house was a one room setting, very small for a family of three. There were beds, and a table, but not much room when three people were in here. No places to hide when your father got angry or found something to drink. No where to hide--which was why she was gone for as long as she could be all the time. Sometimes staying with friends, sometimes though she could . . . and he was so angry.

However, today she was still here, waiting for Bellamy to come so he could explain. Which meant she was here in this house--and hating it. When the knock came she walked to the door and opened it. Stepping back she let him in and then shut to behind him. "Hey," She greeted a bit unsure what to say. "So . . . . welcome tot he farming station."

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy stepped inside when she granted him passage. Her house looked lived in, about the same size as his own. But then again, this was hardly his first time here. "Thanks," he said, his voice a bit toneless for he was trying to figure out where to start. He didn't want to waste a second. He needed to explain the situation to her so that he could figure out what the next step was . . . and beg her to keep this secret if that was what it took. He had been reckless. Not only about taking Octavia to the party, but also in terms of allowing himself to be with a woman.

Though it had remained unspoken, he shouldn't have let himself get attached, to anyone. It would put a risk on his sister's life . . . and that was exactly what had happened now. "I wanted to say thank you, for last night." He didn't want to let her think that he wasn't grateful. He was. She had saved his entire family's life. "I have to make sure Roma, that you please not tell anyone about last night. She was never there." That was the story they had to go with. He knew she must have questions about who Octavia is, but he couldn't quite reveal that yet . . . if he did. Should she demand to know, he couldn't keep it from her. Besides, Roma wasn't dumb. She surely would figure it out sooner or later.

[Roma Bragg]

He looked around, or maybe he didn't, but she felt like it was a judgment on her. She hated this place. Though she had welcomed him before, last night had been bad. With a curfew out, she couldn't just leave. She had to stay here. And right now she was hating the memory. "I wanted to say thank you, for last night." He thanked her, and she nodded, knowing she'd have helped him even without the thanks. She had been growing to like him--maybe more. "I have to make sure Roma, that you please not tell anyone about last night. She was never there." That was telling.

"Who is she?" Roma asked, not making any promises, not because she was avoiding it, but because she wanted to make sure she understood before giving her word. So far what she had figured out said 'illegal'! "Clearly she didn't have an ID to scan . . . . I mean . . . . Bellamy, what is going on?" He often stayed home rather then going out, he didn't eat all his food--little things that she had not overly thought about until now were standing out to her in full force. "She looks like you." Roma added on softly, hinting at what she was thinking.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy didn't fail to notice that Roma hadn't given him her word; she hadn't promised. She instead, asked him directly who she was. He couldn't evade the question. He had never said it out loud to anyone that Octavia was his sister. It was a secret he intended to take to the grave. But now, it was exposed -- at least to Roma -- and it was all his fault. He had made this mess, and now he had to clean it up. He remained silent, her latter spoken words suggesting that she would indeed figure it out. They resembled each other.

"As she should," he responded, ironically answering the one thing she said that wasn't actually a question. He couldn't put it off any longer. He needed to tell her so that she could give him her promise . . . if she would. "She's my sister." The words suonded so foreign falling from his tongue. He heard them back, and it sounded just as awkward. He had never said. He never planned to. And now, here he was. Confessing the one secret, the ultimate crime . . . that would get his entire family floated.

[Roma Bragg]

"As she should," He told her and then said the words that both confirmed everything and shocked her to her core. "She's my sister." HE HAD A SISTER! Roma's lip feel open as she stared up at him, and it was a long while before she could move. When she did she opened and closed her mouth a few times while making no sound. He. Had. A. Sister! "How old is she?!" She asked in a whispered, as if she was afraid someone would over hear this.

"How the hell did you keep THAT a secret for . . . She looks my--ABOUT my age. Maybe younger. How . . . I . . . Really?" He'd kept this hidden for SO long! No wonder he didn't want to move out even though he could get officer housing! She had wondered why---Wait!

He could have officer housing and wasn't taking it because he had a sister. Officer housing. She didn't know why yet, that part kept coming to mind! Like staying on her mind. She had always wished he'd move out so she could stay over more, and not come back here. Now she at least knew why.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He could quite easily see the shock in her face and it hardly came as a surprise. No one here had a sister. He doubted there were any other families who kept a kid hidden under the floor. "She's sixteen," he answered, knowing that he had to answer. There wasn't any point withholding information from her now. She commented that they looked about the same age. He supposed it was just a couple year age difference between them -- Roma being 18 and all. "Doesn't matter how we did it," he began to tell her. He wasn't going to go into detail about the hole in the floor, or about what his mother had to do . . . or anything like that. Right now, the focus was the fact that Roma knew about his sister, and he still needed to get that promise from her.

"I need you to swear to me, Roma. That you won't breathe a word to anyone. My family's life is at stake." He wasn't just asking for himself; he was asking for the sake of his sister and mother. He couldn't bare to lose either of them. "I know I'm asking a lot. But, please, don't tell anyone." He knew that even her promise, he would be in that perpetual state of fear. Every moment, he would wonder if the authorities would burst in. He would have to do everything within his power to keep her happy. Little did he realize, exactly what that entailed.

[Roma Bragg]

"She's sixteen," AH! They were almost the same age! Too close for comfort! That was . . something she'd think on later. He went on telling her how his family's life was in danger, and how she couldn't tell anyone. She knew that! He'd be floated! She sort of really liked him maybe even loved him, and that couldn't happen. She didn't like the idea! She thought it was dumb of them too do--What the hell did the plan to do when his sister turned 40?--but she wasn't going to get him killed over it. "I know I'm asking a lot. But, please, don't tell anyone." He was! If anyone found out she knew she'd be in the Skybox . . . . or floated if she was over 18!

Roma lifted her hands to her hair and ran them though it, knowing she needed to tell him she wouldn't but her mind was thinking. No one was there to protect her. She wanted an brother if this was what they did. Protect their sister, and do anything for them. She only had her . . . and Bellamy . . . who had someone where to go, but didn't want it. While she didn't want to be here but had no where else to go. That was . . . . asking a lot. She wasn't asking for anything, . . . yet.

Roma turned to look at Bellamy, and her plan played out in her head. Escape. Life without fear. A better life--everything she wanted. Needed. "Alright," She said very hesitantly, and forced her voice to pretend to be stronger but at first it was quite, almost unsure--but the longer she spoke the stronger it got. The more sure she became this was the only way she could get what she wanted, because if not then he'd never leave his sister and mother. "But I have something I want in return. And if you do this for me, then I wont tell anyone about your sister. I will even help when I can in making sure that you can hide her better."

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Alright. She had said alright. She was agreeing to this? "Thank you," Bellamy breathed, feeling a wave of relief, but it would not last. He had already acknowledged that state of fear he would constantly be in. But at least, for right now, she was agreeing not ot tell anyone. She then went on to say that there was a condition to her silence on this subject, even offering to help. It seemed too good to be true . . . but then again, maybe he had underestimated Roma.

He knew her, but not enough to ever willingly tell her about his sister. Yet right now, she was saying she would not only keep this secret, but even him them, help Octavia. It meant the world to him that she was willing to even consider doing something like this. Hell, this could be what finally brought him past the edge of uncertainty, and enter a committed relationship with her.

They hadn't had that conversation, but an affection for her was rapidly building. Her support. Her understanding. Her willingness to help. He would never want her to place herself in any sort of risk or danger . . . it was just the mere thought. It truly reflected her understanding. "Name it," he said. "What do you want me to do?" Because at this point, he felt like he would do anything and everything for her.

[Roma Bragg]

What did she want? He had offered, and now she was going to have to ask. She felt her belly tighten from the nervousness of demanding this, knowing it could backfire but the idea of being away from her father was too powerful! She wanted out and there wasn't a brother there to play hero. "Your an officer, Bellamy. With that come privileges." Ones she wanted him to take advantage of!

"Such as officer housing." He had to know by now what she was asking, but she squared her shoulders and made sure she got it out in a strong voice so he wouldn't try to bully her and made her back down. "I want out of here. This station, this life. So I will stay silent, and help how I can . . . . if you marry me." She paused there watching his face, "And we move into your housing that you're allowed to have."

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She was right about that. Being an officer had its privileges -- including knowledge to surprise inspections or at least the means of accessing this information. He wasn't sure where she was going with this, as she went on to talk about officer housing. He hadn't looked into that, finding there was no point as he needed to stay with Octavia. It was optional, and his only response of not taking it had been that he needed to support his mother. His justification had been immediately accepted. So why now was Roma mentioning officer housing. She then revealed it. Marriage.

It left him stunned, though his face held no expression due to the pure shock of her words. The previous thought had entered his mind of doing anything and everything . . . but this. How could he possibly do this? He couldn't leave his family. They were his entire life. Octavia . . . how could he just abandon her. He could only stare at her for a few long hard moments before the compulsion to reply won the battle over silence. "You're either joking . . ." Because, this had to be some stupid ass joke. Though nothing in her tone of face indicated as such.

"Or you're out of your damn mind." He didn't even know which one he was hoping for. But it had to be one or the other. He took a few steps towards her, not aggressively, but in attempt to understand where this was coming from. "I can't leave my family, Roma," he said in a strong voice. "My sister needs me." Just like he needed her. "How the hell can you ask me to do something like that?" He was shocked, and his voice was blunt and while not loud, strong. Deep down he felt hurt that she would even propose such a thing. Literally, propose. He never planned to get married . . . and here was Roma, blackmailing him into it.

[Roma Bragg]

She knew what she was doing was wrong, but when faced with staying here forever she knew she would do it. The moment the words were out of her lips she begun to feel the idea seeping in. The heady excitement of escape all she could taste. She knew Bellamy was angry, and hurt but she was offering to help him and she hoped with time he would forgive her. The idea of being honest with him over why never crossed her mind. She had too much pride to let him see her at her lowest.

"I would not joke about marriage." She promised him, having to force herself not to step back on his approach. She knew he'd never physically hurt her, but years of abuse said step back. That would be a weakness, and she needed to appear strong in this moment. "I want out of this life, and you have the ability to do that. I am not asking you to leave your family.... Just move out. And in return, you will have my silence and my help when you need it." It was a good deal. He was upset right now but she wasn't going to let this stop her. Surely once they moved in together and he got used to the benefits then he would see this for what it was---the better choice for everyone. "Today..... I'd like this to happen today." Her tone on that last part was hesitant but she almost felt like that was the only part of this that was unreasonable.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She wouldn't joke about marriage?! "What the hell kind of marriage would this even be?" She had to blackmail someone to get a husband? If she was that damn desperate then surely she could find some other guy . . . but then again, he was an Officer. They had been together for a bit. And she had something to hold against him. That in no way made him more accepting of her plan. It was a ridiculous one. A completely ludacris offer.

"Just move out?" He repeated, almost in disbelief. She made it sound like it was no big deal for him to move out. She claimed that she wasn't asking him to leave his family . . . but she was. Didn't she see that?! And what the hell kind of help could she even offer? So many things were wrong about this plan, and yet he couldn't articulate a single one because . . . there were just too many! "By wanting out of your life, you're forcing me to leave mine too?" Because, Octavia and his mother were his life.

"How can you do that? Why can't you understand that my family needs me." It was rhetorical, but there was an underlying tone of anger and hurt in his words. If she cared for him at all . . . she wouldn't be doing this. And it makeit all worse -- something he hadn't even thought possible -- she wanted it to happen today. "You're insane." That was all there was too it.

"Absolutely insane." He didn't care that he was insulting her, it was the truth! She wanted him to marry her, move out, and leave his family behind? Yet, Bellamy knew that he was backed into a corner . . . and didn't have much in the way of offering something in return. This was what she wanted, and he wasn't exactly in the position to argue. A fact that just made him more frustrated and upset with the situation.

[Roma Bragg]

"What the hell kind of marriage would this even be?" One where they could all survive! Where she didn't live in fear, and he could get what he needed from her, and they could spend all night night in bed! This was the best for everyone, and she knew he was upset about the blackmailing thing, but she also knew that in time he would see this was best for everyone! She was helping his sister! . . . . . Wait, she didn't even know her name! She'd ask later. This might not be the best time to ask for details.

"Just move out?" Yes, "Tonight." She reminded him, not defiant, but her tone strong. "By wanting out of your life, you're forcing me to leave mine too?" No! She had told him that already! He could still spend time there, but this way his sister and mother got more space, they got more space, and she could help hide and feed her sometimes. Or even help give her clothes or something that Roma no longer wore. "How can you do that? Why can't you understand that my family needs me." She knew they did, but right now so did she! Only no one was fighting for her! She was the only person that would take care of herself! If this hurt him for a little while she was sorry but not enough to back down. Maybe one day he'd understand she did this for the greater good for everyone. "You're insane. Absolutely insane." Now he was just being mean!

"Bellamy, I am not trying to hurt you. You can still see your family, and give them the support they need. I am not saying stay away from them, I am just offering a trade. I want away from here, and in return we get our own place, and be move on from there. I will help out with your family when I can. Give her clothes that don't fit me, some of my rations, and help alibi everyone. This is a good deal. For everyone."

"I would like to know your answer, please." Her tone wasn't begging, but nor was it demanding. It was almost normal, as if she wasn't talking about changing everything. Roma wondered if it was because she was growing afraid this wouldn't work. He could call her bluff--and she knew she didn't have it in her to turn anyone in. He would be floated, and she didn't want that to happen to him.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She wasn't trying to hurt him?! Well she had a funny way of showing it. To ask him to leave his family was the biggest way to hurt him. Though, he supposed causing him to lose his family was bigger. But still. She made it sound like it was no big deal to move out. She didn't realize that every second of every day, was about protecting Octavia. His life was about protecting her and his mother. And now . . . he wouldn't be there to do that. He wouldn't exercise his responsibility as much as he should be. Yet, she made it sound like nothing. She wanted out and that was all that mattered.

She had saved his sister last night, but it didn't warrent this. She then finished by saying that she wanted his answer. He just paused, staring at her, withholding any emotion from his face or voice. "You know damn well what my answer is going to be," he stated bluntly. "Pack your things. I'll be back in a few hours." He then just left, heading first to the guard headquarters to make arrangements. It was fairly easy as he explained he wanted the housing as was his right. He then went to do one of the hardest things he ever had to . . . inform his family of this change. The conversation had broken his heart, but he had to do this.

He hated what position it put them in but what choice did he have? He couldn't risk Roma telling anyone because after this . . . he had no idea what kind of person she was. He grabbed his things, stuffing them in a bag -- as he didn't have much at all, and told Octavia he would be back first thing tomorrow. He went back to get the code and address for his new apartment -- one that would never be a home. His next stop was Roma. He didn't even want to see her face right now, and yet, he would have to endure her company tonight. He knocked on the door impatiently, not about to show any understanding toward her for this decision. When it opened he barley even looked at her. "Let's go." And with that, he began to turn to leave, uncaring how much stuff she had to drag with her.