Use Me, Abuse Me

[Roma Bragg]

"You know damn well what my answer is going to be, Pack your things. I'll be back in a few hours." He snapped, and stormed out. Roma waited until the door was shut and exhaled the breath she had not known she was holding! He was mad, but she expected that! He would come to understand! This was better for everyone! Her knees buckled, and she sat in the floor, right where she was at. She was going to be free! Free from the beatings, and the abuse. Free of someone making her feel like she was worthless--and moving in with Bellamy, a man she'd come to care for and who she knew would never hurt her.

It didn't take her long to ready her things, and leave a message for her father--she was gone. Not coming back. Then she waited for Bellamy to come back. She had two bag, so when he came back she opened the door and held one out. "Let's go." He said before walking away. Roma's lips parted and then she picked them up and hurried behind him.

Roma followed him until they got closer to the guard's quarters, and then she moved beside him. Looping her arm with his, she smiled as she looked around. Freedom! Away from the dirt and the smell, and the pain! "I ca't wait to see our place!" She told him, sweetly!

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy was silent as they walked, having nothing to say to her and he doubted that was going to change any time soon. When they neared the Guards quarters, she had the audacity to link her arm through his, expressing her excitement to see their place. Their place. It wasn't their place. It was her place. And he was just there for the damn convenience of it.

He hated this entire arrangement. He casually switched arms so that holdig his bag would prevent her from looping her arm around him. He didn't want her even touching him right now. Fortuantely they reached the new apartment soon enough. He quickly punched in the code and pushed open the door. The place was bigger than his. It consisted of a main room, a bedroom, and a bathroom. But he didn't care about the size. He had never been interested in living in a bigger place. His home was with his family. It was small, but it was their home. And as the saying went . . . home is where the heart is.

Leaving his stuff in a bag, he set it on the side of the wall. He wasn't going into the bedroom. Hell, he didn't even care about unpacking. Nothing indicated that he wanted to be here and he was not going to pretend. "The code is here," he told her, having written it down on a piece of paper, he left it on the table for her. His heart ached, already missing his mother and O. Missing making sure Octavaia was in bed. Missing telling her random events of the day or things he was learning. Missing telling a random story from history. He just . . . missed her. So damn much. And it physically hurt to be apart from her.

[Roma Bragg]

He moved his bag so she had to let him go, and Roma almost switched sides--not about to let him push her away and make this worse! However they reached their place before he could and he let her in. Normally she'd make a joke about the caring her over the doorway--but she had longed learned that some dreams were not meant to be. She she only paused there a moment, before setting in.

Watching his face for a moment, knowing that this wasn't easy for him. She made a promise to herself then and there--no matter what happened, she'd do what she could to make this either for him! Surely if she could help him make the best of this, then he'd become turning back into Bellamy again sooner! Roma shut the door behind her and reached for the code. She looked at it and memorized it instantly--not that her memory was that good but when it was something this exciting she could make do!

As she passed by his bag, she picked it up and took it to the bed room, before putting all the bags on THEIR bed! Turning in a cicle she smiled at her new place! SHE LOVED IT! Walking back out, Roma decided she'd unpack things later. Now what? "I know this isn't what you wanted, but thank you! I love it here already!" Knowing that she had to give a little to get a little, Roma walked closer. "Do you want to tell me about your sister? I don't even know her name! Maybe one day I can met her?"

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy was about to protest, intending on telling her not to move things to the bedroom. It was not their bedroom; it was her bedroom. For Bellamy had no intention of sleeping in there, or with her. This didn't mark a new life for him; it marked the ending of his former one. Was Octavia ok? Would she be alright? What about when their mother was gone? Who would be there for her, with her? Roma's words broke his troubled and fearful thoughts, as she acknowledged that this wasn't what he wanted . . . but she loved it here. Before, he would have valued her happiness.

But now, he didn't care. Because it had come at the expense of his own family's. He couldn't be there with them. They were alive, but he wasn't there. And if anything happened to him, it would be because of that reason. She then dared to ask him about Octavia and Bellamy's eyes shot at her, clearly unenthused by her question or the suggestion that followed. "No." He didn't want to tell her about his sister. He wouldn't allow her to meet Octavia. "Let's make something very clear, Roma," he began to say, turning to face her, but not moving closer to her. "You don't talk about my family. Ever. Don't mention my mother or my sister. You aren't going to meet either of them. So don't even try to have this conversation with me." He would shut it down real quick, just as he was doing so now.

[Roma Bragg]

"No." No? "Let's make something very clear, Roma," She didn't like that tone. "You don't talk about my family. Ever. Don't mention my mother or my sister. You aren't going to meet either of them. So don't even try to have this conversation with me." Really? "I was trying to help us get past this! This isn't something that is going away! We are doing this, and we can either make the best of it, or you can snap at me for the rest of your life!" She pointed out, so he would know how childish this was!

"This can be a good thing if you let it be! We are good together, and we can be good together! I don't want to spend the rest of my life fighting! I have offered you my help! I told you that you could even go back and see them daily! The moon knows I would hate to be locked up days on in! I am trying to help!" He should be grateful! She was the missing peace to making this work long term! His mother would not out live them--what then? He was going to need someone to help him! She could be that person! Yet he only wanted to snap at her!

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She was trying to help them get past this?! There was no getting passed this. He would never forgive her for this. Make the best of this. This being a good thing. He couldn't believe that she was saying all this crap. They were good together -- were being the operative word. "You helping me, would have been agreeing to not tell anyone about my sister." That, would have been helping him. He had been ready to open up his heart to her when she had initially told him she wouldn't say anything. Even last night after she helped save Octavia's life . . . he had thought that maybe, just maybe, Roma could be the first woman he could actually be in a relationship with. But . . . that had all changed.

"Instead, you blackmailed me into being with you. What the hell kind of relationship is that? What do you even see for us? A happy, domestic life? Well I had that, with my family. And thanks to you, I can't be there for them when they need me." He wasn't yelling, but his tone held clear anger in it. "I'm not gonna feed your delusion. I got you a place, I'm here, but do not expect me to embrace it. Like you said, we were good together. But this, right now, whatever the hell we are, it's not good." Not even close. He no longer cared about guarding his words. He was being honest, speaking what he felt . . . which, he knew in the end could backfire and she could decide to tell the authorities. But the agner took over this rational thought. If she tried, he would have to stop her.

[Roma Bragg]

"You helping me, would have been agreeing to not tell anyone about my sister." Isn't that was she did? But he went on, and dind't seemed to hold back. Clearly he was going to need more time to adjust to things. Once he did . . . yeah . . . once he did then everything would be alright. "But this, right now, whatever the hell we are, it's not good." That hurt, because she had wanted her perfect life, but she wasn't going to show any signs of weakness. It did make her step back, but she wasn't going to cry before him. Ever. He was imitating, and she had never seen him this way before, but she was not going to let him out of the deal just because he was pissed in the few hours!

"I am sorry you feel that way." She told him, honestly sorry that she had hurt him and things between him--but not sorry she'd done this! She was free! His would do anything to protect his family, and she just wanted to be apart of it! Maybe that would not happen today but she could wait! Once he calmed down, things would get better. "I don't want to fight about this. I have tired to be nice. I know that this wasn't ideal--but we each made our choice, and now we have to deal with it." With that she turned and walked to the bedroom to unpack. She'd give him time to cool off and then try to talk to him again! Maybe something smaller like finding them a couch for the main room! Yes! That would be a good neutral ground thing to start on!

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She was was sorry he felt that way?! Clearly not sorry enough to call this whole thing off. He really had no idea what she expected from it. He was going to be happy about this whole arrangement. Not for one damn second. The last bit of what she said was true. Though there was really no choice in the matter. She had backed him into a corner, asking her to pick between living with her and his mother and sister's lives. There was no question in his mind about the decision. She had forced his hand and he didn't like it at all. He didn't say anything when she went to the bedroom to start to unpack.

He didn't care if she was putting his things in there. There was no way in hell he was staying in the bedroom with her. Besides, he was used to sleeping on the floor. The beds they had were for his mother and Octavia and Bellamy had been perfectly content on the floor. It just felt so weird now, knowing that he wouldn't be able to lie near his sister; that he wouldn't be able to tell her stories to help lull her to sleep. He stood in the main room, knowing he had to ask at some point, and the sooner the better. "You mentioned something about getting married." Another aspect of this entire deal that he was dreading, yet one again, didn't have a choice in. "When the hell do you want to do that?" His words were more of a demand, clearly having no kind emotions toward the idea. He didn't want to get married, especially to her in this way.

[Roma Bragg]

"You mentioned something about getting married."He didn't sound pleased, but Roma was not backing down! She was free from her old life and she was embracing this one! He was upset now but when he came around things would be better. She'd get her happy ending if she had to drag everyone along with her! "When the hell do you want to do that?" Oh shit. Well, clearly this was something she should have explained earlier but . . . what was done and was done.

Roma dind't look toward him, and in face turned slightly away from him. "No hurry, we can do it in a year or so." She told him, her voice for once sounding almost hesitant and very odd. "We can have a long engagement!" She had SORT OF lied about her age when she first met him, and had not planned to tell him any time soon--only now her hand was forced (by herself). He would find out quickly anyway, so she might as well tell him. Only she was afraid. She didn't want this fight, and she wasn't sure how he'd react. "We have to wait anyway . . . i can't apply for a permit untilnextyearwhenIturneightteen." Her words came out REALLY fast at the end, and almost mumbled; and she braced herself for whatever was about to come.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

No hurry. That was rich. He never planned on getting married, ever. And now she was saying no hurry, so nonchalantly, as if marriage was no big deal. They had moved in. She wanted to get married. And he just . . . had to go along with it. Because it involved his family's safety. How could she be so casual about this?! She suggested having a long engagement. Great. They were engaged. This was not the kind of news he was going to happily spread to others.

It was bad enough he was stuck here with her, trapped in a situation he wanted to be no part of . . . but had to be. What other choice did he have. None. Absolutely none. It was her latter spoken words that made him freeze. Wait . . . what. What did she just say?! Bellamy walked toward the bedroom, standing in threshold, staring at her. She better hope he heard her wrong . . . but he knew that he didn't he heard her right. "What the hell did you just say?" She didn't need to repeat it. It was a rhetorical question, so he kept going. "You're out of your damn mind!" He may have said similar words to her earlier, but now, well, he meant them more. She was underage! She wasn't even 18! What the hell was happening here?! "What the hell is wrong with you? You're underage?!" He wasn't yelling, but he was angry. Very angry. He just didn't even know what to say anymore.

[Roma Bragg]

"What the hell did you just say?" Oh good. He'd heard her. She didn't have to repeat herself! Because she wasn't sure she could speak right now. "You're out of your damn mind!" Yes, but as long as she was out of her old life, she would be alright. "What the hell is wrong with you? You're underage?!" "Little bit." She told him, "I'm 17!" She told him honestly. "Mostly." Almost honestly. "Recently." Ok, that was a lie. "Soon I'll be 17!" There! That was as honest as she could get!

She was 16. She would be 17 very soon, and had she managed to keep this quite longer he might not have known that he'd been sleeping her with her while she was so young but he did now! There was no going back! She couldn't undo what she had lied about and he couldn't undo this deal they'd made! For better or worse they were a team now! Yes he was angry but once he calmed down things would get better! It was like a band-aid--you had to ripe it all off at once to get the pain over with. Well--that was done. "But everything else is mostly true! . . . . Expect for me being a farmer. I was actually a student, but . . . I dropped out." Which was her right to do.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Little bit? Little bit?! Was this a joke to her?! How was someone a little bit underage?! And to make things worse . . . she wasn't just 17. Oh no no no. She was 16. 16 freaking years old! Bellamy just stared at her, trying to process the words, feeling the anger building up inside of him. He didn't think it was possible for him to have been more angry with her. But this, just proved it. Her words proved that it was possible to be more infuriated at a person who was already blackmailing you to move out of your family's home to live with them. She was 16. SIXTEEN! Who the hell had he gotten himself mixed up with?!

Everything else is mostly true . . . except that she's 16. And clearly not a farmer. "You're a damn liar." His voice wasn't raised, but the tone was very evidently filled with anger. Yes. He knew he too had lied but he had his reasons for doing it. What the hell were hers that would justify lying about something like age?! "Every thing you've told me about yourself is a lie. Is your name even Roma?" His question came out with bitter sarcasm . . . yet part of him wondered, and actually held some doubt. "Why would you lie about something like this?! Do you have any idea how much more of a shit position this puts us in?!" They were already in a shitty position . . . now, it just got worse.

[Roma Bragg]

"You're a damn liar." Well, that was true, but she still didn't like having it thrown at her face. Still, she couldn't tell him otherwise--because it was true! "Every thing you've told me about yourself is a lie. Is your name even Roma?" That was just mean! "Yes! It was only my age that I lied about, and working, rather then going to school. Everything else is true." Her voice wasn't defiant, but it wasn't meek either. It was low voice, but one that wasn't apologetic.

"Why would you lie about something like this?! Do you have any idea how much more of a shit position this puts us in?!" Roma knew she had made things worse, but she also wanted everything out in the open so they could move past this sooner, and become one of them strong and united couples. "Would you have looked twice at me if you'd known I was a little younger then I let on?" She asked in the same tone; "But you know everything now!" Everything but the reason WHY she needed to get out of her life, but she wasn't about to tell him and let him know just how horrible her life really was. "So we can deal with this, and move on." Hopefully move on to bed!

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Only her age and working. Right. What else was there even to lie about? Those two things were very significant, and she acted like it was nothing. No big deal. No issue. Hell, she didn't even sound sorry about it. What, just sorry that she got caught? He couldn't believe this. "Why would you have cared if I looked twice at you? Were you so damn desperate to lose your virginity that night?" He knew what he was saying could sound, well . . . harsh. But he was angry. Livid. She had made him leave his family, and now she was telling him that she was underage. He was far too livid to soften any of his words or express his sympathy. She then told him that he knew everything now. Somehow, he doubted that.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" That he knew everything; that she wasn't lying about something else. "Liars don't stop lying. They just expose the truth when they get caught." But until they did . . . they would continue to withhold the truth. It made it practically impossible to trust her now, which made him even more uneasy with her knowing about Octavia. "I had my reasons for lying." To protect his sister. "You didn't." And that was all there was to it. He couldn't even go anywhere to clear his head because he was stuck in this damn apartment with her. And storming out . . . would only make him nervous as to what she would do with the piece of information she was holding over his head, and using to her utmost advantage.