Close Call

[Clarke Griffin]

“Sounds like a plan.” Did it mean he was up for spending more time with her? Clarke couldn’t help but feel hopeful for that. She liked him so far and something told her she’d only continue to like him. He seemed to be clever, dedicated, too. He probably worked hard for his position unlike other kids on Alpha Station. She could have taken so many positions just because of who her parents were, but he was not from their station, he probably had to fight hard, which made it all the more impressive that he was a guard or training to become one. “Okay, then. I’ll go grab a book and I’ll meet you back here asap.”

She was almost giddy as she got up. She didn’t even really wait for a reply before climbing back down and making her way to her parents apartment again. She picked the one book she was in the middle of reading at the moment anyway and put it into a bag. Clarke allowed herself to make a thermos of tea as well, packing two mugs, figuring they might eventually want to drink something and, well tea was better than water. Finally she made her way back to the little hideout of hers. She stared out of the window while waiting for Bellamy to return. Earth was beautiful. Maybe her child would one day see it.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

I  won't  let

ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU

When Clarke went down the ladder, he followed suit, going straight to his apartment. When he entered he saw his mother and Octavia working on some garments, as was his mother's occupation. His mother inquired as to where he had been, and Bellamy said that he was with a friend and meeting them at the library. He went to get the book he was in the middle of reading. It was one he had borrowed from a friend, as they couldn't exactly afford any books of their own . . . apart from the one. Fortunately, Octavia hadn't mentioned anything about last night, so his mother asked him only a few more questions before Bellamy told her that he would be back before his night shift. With that, he departed their home and made his way back to the library.

He wished he could bring something more, but they hadn't any spare rations. The only thing he could lamely offer Clarke was his company. He would have to do better though. He owed her everything. When he got back to the library, he made his way up the ladder, tucking the book behind him. When he reached the top, he saw that she was already there and waiting. She really looked beautiful, sitting there like that. He needed to snap out of it. He quickly noticed the two mugs and thermos, making him all the more guilty for coming empty handed. He pulled the book out, casually holding it as he sat accordingly. "I hope I didn't interrupt," he said with a smile. "You looked pretty deep in thought," he added on. He was fairly certain he could have just stared at her for some time. It was quite difficult not to.

[Clarke Griffin]

Admittedly she jumped a little as she heard him speak. He didn’t intend to sneak up on her, but he was right, she was deep enough in thought to not notice him come in, which caused her to jump like that. She didn’t mean to express fear of him, because she didn’t fear him. He was a good man, it seemed, but he did catch her by surprise. Clarke tried to save the situation by smiling at him. He seemed to understand her situation well enough to know. Clarke turned to him.

“Just dreaming, actually.” An impossible dream. Earth was impossible to reach. It was still toxic. Even if the levels of radiation would go down to make them survive the first days, after three weeks radiation poisoning would set in either way. They’d die either way. It didn’t matter right now. Clarke smiled at the man who joined her with a book. Who would have thought someone would share her passion for a quiet day, a good book and a good view. And maybe tea too. “You can take as much of the tea as you like, by the way. The perks of being born privileged. That is easy to come by for me.” Ridiculously easy actually. So she liked to share. It was not much, but something. Anything else missing would raise questions.

“So what are you reading at the moment?” She asked as she finally pulled her book to her – which was still as embarrassing to her as it was before: cheesy romance novel, but well it served the purpose. She’d just have to skip the juicy passages with him around. Those could get especially bad.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

I  won't  let

ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU

She revealed that she had been dreaming, and Bellamy felt curious . . . or perhaps intrigued was the better word for it. "What about?" He asked. His comfort in her company was growing more and more, and it was enough to withhold himself from asking her whether she minded him asking. He had a feeling that if she truly didn't want to share, she wouldn't. He glanced at the thermos as she explained the content within it. Tea. It was a luxury, a beverage that he didn't exactly have easy access to. Which was pointed out by her as she said that it was part of the perks of being born in a family of privilege. He didn't feel right drinking it though, especially when he had nothing to offer her in return.

She was giving him everything, and he was giving her nothing. Even he wasn't naive enough to believe that his mere company was worth all she had given him. "It's been a while since I've had it," he admitted. "That's really kind of you to bring it." Even if he wasn't sure he could drink it, he was extremely apprecative of the gesture. She truly was not like any other person he had encountered on the Ark. When she asked what book he was reading, he turned it around to reveal the cover. "The Odyssey, by Homer, who was a poet in Ancient Greece." He wasn't sure if she had read it or heard of it before, and didn't want to presume anything. She was fairly well educated though, so he had a feeling that the title would at least strike some familiarity. "What about you, what book are you reading?" He inquired with genuine curiosity.

[Clarke Griffin]

“The Ground. What it’s like there. How I’ll never see it.” But her child and their child might one day get to see earth. She just wished she could see it too. Earth seemed to be so beautiful. But for now all she had were her books and hear imagination. And of course the view. She loved the view. It inspired a few of her dreams. Now he had inspired some of her fantasies regarding her book. Damn it. That was something she would not tell him. And those were not exactly the books he seemed to like. He just fit, it was not her fault. And he had such a good taste in literature, it seemed.

“I know who Homer is.” She had been in school after all. “I took history in school, apart from the scientific classes. I preferred Plinius though. Did you get to read his letters?” She was still amazed what a gem of a guard he seemed to be. There were things that should be different on the Ark. Like people being forced into boxes and roles they were not meant to play. Clarke couldn’t shake the feeling of him having more talent than just that. And she wanted to find out. “Uhm… romane novel. It’s incredibly cheesy.”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

I  won't  let

ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU

She told him that she was thinking about the ground, of how she would never be able to see it. It was an intrigue that he too had. He often thought of a life, less limting to the one they had. He wanted it for his family if nothing else. A life where Octavia could be free from confinement in their apartment, and under the floor. A life where his mother wasn't always worrying about discovery, and having to do certain things in order to protect them. A life where they could just be a family, free of these suffocating laws. "It would be pretty liberating, to find a life outside of the Ark." But of course, that question of whether Earth was survivable or not made it rather impossible to explore that option. At least for the time being.

She then told him she knew who Homer was, that she took a course in school . . . and that she preferred Plinius. He smiled at that; the ability to have this kind of conversation with a beautiful young woman. "I did," he answered. "Not everyone has that much of an interet in ancient history. I always found it fascinating." Even when he didn't study it in school, he was always reading up on it. He supposed his mother had a lot to do with that, telling him stories of mytholoy when he was younger. She then revealed that she was reading a romance novel, and he couldn't help but continue to smile at that. "I've never read one of those," he began to say, a slight tease in his voice as he decided to play with the subject of a romance novel. There was no judgment from him though. "What's this one about?" He asked curiosuly with the same hint of playfulness in his voice, mixed with genuine curiosity. If they could have intellectual conversations about authors and poets . . . then they could certainly have a conversation about a cheesy romance novel.

[Clarke Griffin]

“I always kept wondering how far advanced we would be now, had the library of Alexandria not burnt down. In just this short incident they lost all the progress, all the records of knowledge. It stalled the progress of people for so long. And given how fast everyone developed before the apocalypse…. I wonder if it would have even been a threat had the library not burnt down.” Damn, she was just revealing herself a massive nerd. But you didn’t get medical training by being a stupid pretty face. She had to learn as she wanted to refuse her mothers influence. Not that anyone actually believed that. To others she was just the privileged girl, who had gotten an awesome job through her mother. She usually just let them talk, but somehow she wanted Bellamy to know she was not that kind of bitch.

“This one is set on earth before the apocalypse. I think it actually has been written on earth, too. Anyway. He is living in the countryside, all by himself. He’s a hunter, strong and all that. He has a massive husky, too. She’s a shy girl, freshly graduated. Her car breaks down in the forest and she falls down a ridge. He brings her home, nurses her back to health. She’s already falling for him.” Like she might be falling for this Bellamy, it was just too easy to be in his company. At least this friendship was good. She liked his company already. “It’s graphic, to, by the way, but I haven’t gotten to that part yet.”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

I  won't  let

ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU

Bellamy had assumed she was intelligent, but it was constantly being reinforced with the way she spoke. Being able to have such conversations with someone was refreshing. He knew she was a few years younger, but she was far more mature than most of the other women he kept company with. And even then . . . it wasn't necessarily for the conversation. "Definitely gets you thinking," he said pensively.

"Imagine how much more mankind could have progressed had the nuclear war not happened. It stalled or well, eliminated any progress we could have acheived on Earth." There was hardly anything left there now. Should it ever be possible to return to Earth, Bellamy imagined it would be like starting over. But considering they didn't know anything beyond the Ark . . . the thought of going there -- if it was inhabitable -- was so very tempting. As he had described earlier: liberating even.

She then explained the synopsis of her book, causing Bellamy to smile, still lacking judgment in the book choice. He had never read one, and while romance novels wasn't his thing . . . he could see the appeal. Especially for woman. "Sounds intriguing," he said with a playful smile still on his lips. "Do you know how graphic it would be?"

He wasn't asking for himself, but he wondered that if it wasn't too . . . explicit, maybe he could ask to borrow it when Clarke was done, for Octavia. He imagined she would like these sort of light, romance fluffy type of things. He could never get access to such books for her. "Not that I would want to read it just for that stuff," he clarified. "I'm just curious, since I've never read one of those kinds of books before." And he probably wouldn't now . . . more than likely . . . maybe.

[Clarke Griffin]

“A lot. Maybe would have hovercars by now.” That was actually a real possibility. The car industry had progressed fast. From the self driving car it was only a minimal jump to a hover car. But the nuclear war and everything that resulted from it stalled the progress. They had saved technology here. But due to the limited resources they could not really advance here either. That was the problem of things. They could not advance, not eve here and everything on earth was broken. She wondered what it would be like in the future. Would they manage to advance? Would the generation returning to earth manage to advance? Surely, but how far? And how would they get everyone down? Did they have enough drop ships?

“Just for your girlfriend, I get it.” She did. He appeared to be so concerned for her. He had risked a lot for the girl. Did he say she was his girlfriend or say something else? Clarke couldn’t fully remember it, though did it matter? “It’s graphic, but not pornographic. They get undressed, kiss, touch, but the act itself is never fully described, the feelings are, though.” It was a bit romanticizing the thing, but it was just a book, just a distraction for her. “How old is she?” Of course she still meant the girl. Clarke was just curious. The age could not be used against the girl, right?

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

I  won't  let

ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU

Hovercars. Now there was a thought that made a smile appear on his lips. What an interesting invention that would have been, and not one too far fetched either. It was Clarke's next statement that caused these thoughts to be put on hold as the smile slowly faded from his lips, though he tried to keep a small sign of it there. Girlfriend. It was a valid assumption to make. Although . . . he wasn't sure how he should respond. Even though she had assumed rather than asked, this was still an opportunity to be honest about it. In doing so, he could be giving her more information and thus further endangering her life.

Or, he could just let her think that Octavia was his girlfriend and not explore the full reasons as to why he had needed her help last night. At the same time . . . something inside Bellamy didn't want Clarke to think that he was involved with another woman. That he had a girlfriend and thus, was 'unavailable'. He didn't know why that should matter since Clarke had a boyfriend. Yet, he couldn't stop himself from feeling that way. So he resorted to silence, knowing that if it came to a certain point, he would tell her the truth. "Doesn't sound too bad," he concluded, though being as protective as he was over Octavia . . . he would still screen it. At the same time, it wasn't as if they hadn't had those conversations with her already.

"Guess as long as its described with some taste," he said with a slight shrug, his mind distracted from her previous comment. As if his silence that may imply confirmation wasn't enough . . . she then asked how old the girl was. Bellamy didn't want to blatantly lie about this, but he also knew that admitting Octavia's age would . . . well, it would really highlight the age difference between him and his supposed girlfriend. "Fifteen," he replied, looking intently at Clarke to see if there was any judgment in her eyes. Perhaps it wasn't going to be so easy to let her assume a more obvious relation with Octavia than the actual truth.

[Clarke Griffin]

“It is described with taste. At least that’s my opinion.” Clarke had learned early on how other people had different taste and believed different things to be tasteful and what not. Clarke was raised differently than kids in other stations, so there was always a difference between her and others, though in essence they were all only humans, with flaws and weird opinions, strengths and weaknesses. This reflected her taste and if he would start to read it, he would get a better idea of who she was. Clarke opened the book and placed it on her knees. She glanced outside at earth again, at the beautiful distanced planet they should be living on.

He made her think. Of course she was usually thinking a lot. She was training to become a doctor, obviously, but he made her think about other things. He made her remember how easy it had been to be with Wells, as just friends and how hard things got when they became a couple. It was the ease of his company that made her think about how different things should be. For him age apparently didn’t matter at all. He spent time with her, with his younger girlfriend. Maybe things really should just be much easier. Wells should still feel like he was her best friend, right? Even if they were together now.

“I should feel at ease with Wells, shouldn’t I? I shouldn’t doubt my relationship. Spending time with him should be as easy as it is to spend time with you… and we just met.”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

I  won't  let

ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU

She confirmed that it was described with taste before she seemed to fall into a pensive silence. There didn't seem to be any judgment in her gaze as he revealed Octavia's age. He knew that it was only a matter of time before he would tell Clarke that she was her sister . . . but it wasn't easy. This was a secret he had kept guarded for over 15 years. She then spoke of her boyfriend. He didn't know why he felt so unswettled by that. He knew she was in a relationship . . . and he knew he shouldn't care. That it shouldn't bother him.

But something about her . . . no. It wasn't fair to her nor the guy she was with. But if nothing else, she deserved to be with someone she was happy with, right? "So how come you don't? You know, feel at ease with him," Bellamy wondered. Yesterday, he had felt a but uneasy asking her such questions, as if he was prying. But now, he felt more comfortable doing so. He'd felt an odd sense of pride in knowing that she found it easy to be in his company . . . for that feeling was completely mutual. "Why do you doubt your relationship?" He further inquired, genuinely curious. She had brought it up and he wanted her to feel comfortable opening up to him. That as she didn't judge him, he didn't judge her in any way.

[Clarke Griffin]

“That’s the thing. I don’t know.” Neither did Clarke know why she felt so at ease with Bellamy, that she was telling him that right now. Why did she feel she could confide in him like that? He was a cadet, training to be a guard, usually those were dangerous, eager to please the council to climb the rank, but he never had that vibe about him. He seemed nice, genuinely nice and caring and the type of guard to sometimes overlook small crimes, like kids stealing to feed others. Clarke didn’t know where the idea came from, but she felt like this was true. Maybe it was a weird intuition.

“He and I used to be best friends. It was easy to be his best friends. We knew each other well, we loved each other in this platonic way. And then we decided to take it further. He’s even more protective now, almost hovering and so clingy. It was so easy with us being best friends. But now being together, it’s not. And I don’t know. The relationship isn’t it. I don’t think I love him enough and the ease is gone. I have to be his girlfriend now, not just Clarke. I don’t think the role he needs me to fill doesn’t fit me. I can’t be his girlfriend. I can’t be the chancellors sons girlfriend.” She hated the public role that brought her. “And I hate it when people look at me like I’m the future chancellors significant other, mother of his kid, but not my own person. I’m becoming a doctor, I want people to see me for me, not for him.”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

I  won't  let

ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU

Bellamy listened silently, quietly, attentively. She was opening herself up to him. Telling him intimate things about her relationship with her boyfriend. Bellamy wanted to help her, and wished he had the expertise of doing so. But being someone who'd never been in a committed romantic relationship . . . he couldn't exactly draw from personal experience. Or could he? "Being with him is taking away your identity," he stated more than asked. Based on what she said, she was being regarded as the boyfriend of the Chancellor's son; the eventual wife of the next Chancellor . . . rather than Clarke Griffin. Rather than a doctor, which was clearly something she was aspiring to be. "There are some things in life that we don't have a choice in," Bellamy began to say. There were certain relationships that they didn't have a choice in. His with Octavia for instance. He loved her, and the day she was born his life had truly begun. But it also was a huge risk; a constant danger. Every second of every day the three of them worried about her discovery.

"But this, your relationship with Wells, you have a choice in that." She may not feel like it, but she absolutely did. "You got pressure from other people, I get that. But it's your life, Clarke. No one else should live it except you." That was something Bellamy could never do. He could never live for himself. He lived for his sister; he had to protect her. To have ones own life . . . was a luxury. One he wanted to encourage Clarke to take advantage of. "If he really loves you, he'd want you to be happy. And if your happiness isn't with him, then he should understand that." Isn't that what you did when you loved someone? Wanted the best for them? Wanted them to be happy, despite what that meant for yourself?

Bellamy gave a slight shrug of his shoulders, wondering if he was rambling. It seemed however, that he did have words to offer . . . though based on an entirely different experience. His was based on having a sibling, rather than a lover. "You deserve to be happy," he added on. It was a simple statement, but one he said with the utmost sincerity. She deserved it. He wasn't saying it generically either. She had risked herself to save a girl she didn't even know. She had been nothing but gracious, helpful, and understanding with him. So yeah, she deserved happiness and if this guy Wells wasn't it, then she shouldn't be with him.

[Clarke Griffin]

His words made sense. They made so much sense to her. From his point of view she should be able to decide her own life, yet she couldn’t. Or maybe she could. Maybe she should listen to him. Maybe she should talk to Wells, break things off. She only had one life. Break up was no death sentence. She wanted a family, she wanted a husband, who cared for her like her father cared for her mother. Wells cared, yes, but Clarke wasn’t happy. She wanted to be happy. She should be happy, right? Eventually she should be happy in a relationship. But she wasn’t. He was absolutely right about that. 

“I guess I will talk to him.” Not today perhaps, but the next day. Whatever would prove to be a good-ish time for it. Not that there was ever the ideal time for it. All she needed was a less bad time for it. She needed Wells to be calm and to understand, which was a tricky time to get with his fathers antics and how things tended to play out. He was a sensible young man and he was busy with his own apprenticeship. Maybe it was not fair to him, but what should she do about it?.

“Thank you, for this advice. It was probably the best advice someone has ever given me.” It was somewhat unbiased, considering he only knew her and could not really form an opinion on Wells yet, or so she thought. Even if not, this was about what she felt. She knew he would be hard on him, there was no way around it in this case. “When do you have your next shift, Bellamy?” She asked curiously. Somehow she didn’t want him to go anytime soon, but if he had to, he had to. 

Bellamy Blake