Ways to deal

[Faye Bates]

She frowned at his comment. Faye didn’t want Alex to base his life around her. If something happened to her, she wanted to know that he wouldn’t self-destruct. But she couldn’t say his comment didn’t make her heart swell with love. She was glad that she made his life better and that she helped him get up in the morning, but that wasn’t what she wanted for his life. She wanted him to want to live. Faye worried about him. She worried that something like this would happen again and this time, she wouldn’t make it back in time to save him. Faye didn’t want to come home knowing that Alex had run himself into the ground over not having her around. It broke her heart to think about how she was the only hope he had in this world.

Faye shook her head, not accepting his answer. “Not good enough,” she said, a frown present on her face. “I’m glad I give you hope.” She reached out and put her hand on the side of his cheek, her thumb running over his cheekbone. “But think about it from my point of view. What if something happened to you and I did exactly what you were doing? Wouldn’t that make you mad? Wouldn’t you want me to take care of myself?” She raised her eyebrows expectantly. “Because that’s what I feel like knowing you wouldn’t take care of yourself.” Faye dropped her hand from his face and offered him a small smile. “Besides, you should really just agree with me,” she began. “Don’t cause me any more stress than I already have.” And god, was she stressed. “Stress isn’t good for a baby,” she added nonchalantly.

Tag: Alex Horan

[Alex Horan]

He knew she had a point here, of course he did. He would not want her to run herself down. But then again he could also not blame her. In that case at least. He knew how painful it was to lose someone he loved. It hurt like a bitch. Maybe he would have caught himself again. Maybe he would have managed to catch himself again. Maybe he would have managed to heal enough to live again. But what if not? He looked at her, shrugging, because he knew he would want her to live again. He was just about to say something when she spoke.

And his entire world stopped again.

A baby. A child. What was going on there? They hadn't even... talked about that yet. They hadn't made a decision, but apparently the child made the decision for them. If he was getting that right. He all but froze, body and face as if his mind was still buffering on what she had just told them. A baby. Stress wasn't good for a baby. Hell, he knew that. But hell, he also knew that this was... something that would change their lives forever. And it was something she must have known before she went to Mount Weather.

"You're pregnant?"

Faye Bates

[Faye Bates]

His shrug only caused her to playfully roll her eyes. Of course now that she made a good point, he wasn't willing to argue. Because that's what Faye had done; made a good point. It wasn't fair for him to expect things of her that she couldn't expect of him. But hopefully neither of them would have to deal with a situation like that for a very long time.

She spoke the words without thinking much about them, about the possible repercussions it could have on their relationship. She felt him freeze next to her and a wave of fear washed over her body. They had never talked about having kids before. They had been too busy simply enjoying their relationship. Faye had never really thought about kids. She wasn't desperate to be a mother but she also didn't hate the idea of having kids. She was indifferent. At least, until she met Alex and found out she was pregnant. Faye had been scheduled to get her birth control implant removed within the next year, but apparently it had stopped doing its job sooner than that. "Yes," she replied.

Faye turned over onto her side, her eyes searching his face, trying to get a better read on what he thought. "Just about six weeks," she explained. "But the doctor told me there's a high chance of miscarriage in the first few weeks so I didn't say anything." She didn't want to get his hopes up in case it was something he wanted. And on top of that, she had been far too preoccupied with trying to get his medicine to save his life. Truth be told, he was more important to her at the time. If she lost the baby because of her journey, then she knew they could try again when they were ready. But she would never be able to replace Alex.

Tag; Alex Horan

[Alex Horan]

Pregnant. She was pregnant. He had no reason not to think it wasn't his kid, so they were having a kid together. A child. In this world. With the father basically about to die. Well it could take a while. And the mother went to mount weather. Through a hostile surrounding, hostile lands. There was no way this was okay. She risked so much, potential miscarriages or not. this risked the kid and her life. But he couldn't say that. He just couldn't. Alex lay back, looking at her, trying to wrap his head around the fact that there was to be a child. A child. A new generation, growing up to see the trees, not stuck in a space station, fated to inhale toxic air, that would kill them slowly. For their child sun and rain would be normal and being locked up would be a mystery to it, a story told by their parents and nothing more. It was a matter of the past. And the child would experience the future. It would experience joy and safety. He would make sure of it. 

"We will have a baby?" He asked, gently. They were having a baby. Many were wanting to have kids. It was like hope. It was like they were expecting to last, expecting to survive so a new generation could step in their footsteps. The future was good. It was there, it was growing out of the love between them. This was what her friend was fighting for: A future for their people, for all of these babies to be born and to experience the sun on their faces. And they should fight with her, just with this simple peace: By clinging to the future. "We're having a baby." He whispered in awe. "We created life..."

Faye Bates

[Faye Bates]

Maybe now he would understand her desperation to save his life. She was desperate to not lose him in general, but also because she couldn't do this alone. She wouldn't. That's why she had been so willing to go to mount weather to find his medicine. He was the most important thing in her life right now. She couldn't stop thinking about how there was no replacing him. Faye had been with other guys before but she knew that he was the first guy she had ever really loved. And now she had created a life with him. Granted, there was still a chance of losing the baby given how early it was but she just had to tell him. Not telling him before she left for mount weather had been difficult, but she knew he would have tied her up to keep her from leaving if he knew she was pregnant. And if she had managed to leave after telling him, who knew how bad things would be if she returned. She would return to Alex mourning both his girlfriend and his child. So in the end, Faye was satisfied with the decision she made. 

Alex asked the question, the disbelief evident on his face, and Faye nodded her head slowly. Her eyes stayed on him, not wanting to miss anything that might show his hesitance in having a child. But she watched the idea sink in and she didn't see fear or any desire to run away. She saw awe and love. The sight only made Faye smile, a genuine smile that was reserved only for Alex. "I'm not sure you can find another way to say it," Faye teased lightly. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to his, one of her arms snaking around his neck. Pulling away, she pressed her forehead to his. "I know we had never talked about it," she whispered. "But I guess my implant stopped working sooner than expected. Are you . . . okay with this?" She asked. She felt like he was fine with it but she had to be sure.

Tag: Alex Horan

[Alex Horan]

Was he okay with that? Did he even have a choice? He was no asshole. He was not going to walk out of this. He had a hand in creating this child as much as she had. He was in this with her. But he also liked kids. And he loved the idea of having one of his own, a little mixture between them. And so he managed to grin at her. "Does a man who's not okay with that look like this? I have to admit it's... a huge shock! But you didn't exactly prepare me there did you? Bit like "Lets hit Alex over the head with the biggest rock I can find" so he snaps out of it." His voice was gentle, teasing. 

"Also... we made a baby. We actually made a baby! That's pretty damn aweseome! AND by accident! I think we're pretty awesome for that alone." But he loved her, so he always thought she was pretty awesome. He leaned forward to just kiss her. "Also you will actually grow a human life inside you, if THAT doesn't scream awesome, what does?"

Faye Bates

[Faye Bates]

Faye never thought Alex would walk out of her life, but she still didn't want to trap him into it. If he had an issue with it, they had options. Faye still wasn't sure how she felt about having a baby, but knowing that she was with Alex made it better. Knowing that he would be by her side for as long as he could, made it better. Faye grinned at Alex at his comment. She rolled her eyes, thinking about how much of a goof he was. Faye couldn't help but to laugh at his 'hitting Alex over the head with a rock' comment. She hadn't thought about it like that, if she was being honest. She had just sort of thought of it on the fly and decided to casually say it. "I know," she said. "How do you think I felt when I went to the medical bay for a check-up and they ended up taking some of my blood." She raised her eyebrows. It had been a crazy day, that was for sure.

She definitely couldn't help laughing when he seemed so excited about it being on accident. "You're such a dork," she laughed. "I don't think you want to run around camp telling people you knocked your girlfriend up on accident and how psyched you are." He could, but she didn't see why he was so enthralled with the idea. She kissed him back, leaving her hand on his face. "Okay. I'll give you that. Thinking about how someone's body can make another person is pretty neat," she confessed. Faye sighed, feeling happy for the first time in a long time. "I love you," she said. "Now do you promise to take care of yourself better? I can't do this without you."


Tag: Alex Horan

[Alex Horan]

"I will." He promised. He would. But if he lost her now, he lost not only her. That would complicate things a lot. He didn't like losing people he loved. Now there were two. A baby, too. He looked at her so softly. His hand lingered on her cheek as he touched her softly. They should rest. They had to take it easy now. She had to take care of herself and he had to, too. That meant they should sleep. They should cuddle and wake refreshed in the morning.

"Or kind of." He promised. "Because after work tomorrow, I won't rest immediately." He couldn't. With those news, he had so much to work for. She was making a new life with her body. He could at least help her by making everything else. And honestly, he'd feel useless if he couldn't at least do that. It was weird how she would do almost all and he would be able to do next to nothing. "Tomorrow I will start designing a crib." He said. "I don't think many of those survived the cataclysm. But I will build this little one one that will last it for a looong time. Not some tiny contraption like those we had on the Ark. A big one. One that the kid can fit into as a toddler, too!"


Faye Bates

[Faye Bates]

Faye smiled, glad to hear that he would attempt to take care of himself. That's all she wanted. She had to admit that she had hoped spilling the news would get him to think twice about his actions, and it appeared to have the desired effect. Then she heard him back-track on his promise and she quirked a brow at him. She waited for him to elaborate, needing to hear what his so-called excuse was for not taking care of himself. But as he spoke, she rolled her eyes and chuckled lightly. Faye was glad that he was excited, but still didn't want him to push himself. "We have plenty of time," she said to him. Faye didn't want him rushing around to get all of these things done, pushing himself past his point of comfort. They had plenty of time until the baby came, so she wasn't worried about it.

She laughed lightly, shaking her head at him. "Not too big," she pointed out. "We're not exactly swimming in space in here." Their apartment was good for the two of them, but having a crib with a baby would make things a little tighter. But Faye didn't mind. That's how things had been for her growing up. Her apartment had been small and while her dad hadn't been around a lot, her mom had always been home, usually in bed. Faye rested her head on his chest, a content sigh leaving her lips. She wrapped an arm around his waist and closed her eyes, glad to have him back in her arms. 

Tag: Alex Horan

[Alex Horan]

"Let me be pragmatic here. In the best case scenario our child will grow fast and it will need a lot of space in the space of a few years. In that time we will both have our hands full with keeping the little rascal happy and healthy, with keeping Arkadia in shape and getting it back into shape. We will have our hands full with so much things, building a bigger crib or bed will go down on our priority list until that baby will 100% outgrow it. In the worst case scenario we have to factor in grounder attacks and my decreasing health - and I say decreasing health, not death, love. I will not die, but I might be a bit under the weather, but death will have to wait a loooong time for me. Both will cause the priority for that crib to go further down that list. So, we should make it big so we won't have to worry about that later." He held her so close, now afraid to loose two people, his entire family, his world. 

"Besides, I can do with a little less space if it means out little one has enough. I can always walk out into the fresh air, that little bean in you doesn't have that luxury, so I'd like to sacrifice a bit of our space so the kid has what it needs. That's okay with you, I hope?" If not, he'd just have to persuade her. Or he would try and get a bigger place for them. They might need it and she had contacts that might do them some good.

Faye Bates

[Faye Bates]

Faye could already picture the two of them running around, trying to keep the little one safe. She hoped that by the time the baby was born that they would have a more stable life. They wouldn't constantly be afraid of grounders attacking them. It was honestly the only thing that worried her about bringing a new life into the world. Well, it was the only thing that worried her when it came to bringing a baby into the world. She was still worried about Alex and his health. She wanted him to grow up to see their child grow. She wanted him to merely die of old age and not because he couldn't breathe. Faye felt like she was clinging onto him, sighing in agreement at his statement. He had a point. Creating a bigger crib would save them time in the long run, but that was under the impression that they would live long enough for that to happen.

"Of course it's okay," Faye said softly. She continued to hold onto him, her head resting on his chest and her arms wrapped around his body. She sighed, content with where she was in that moment. Resting in bed with him was all she really needed. "I think it might be a boy," she said after a moment of silence. It was way too early to get an official test done to find out the gender of the baby, but she just had this gut feeling. 

Tag: Alex Horan