It's Where My Demons Hide

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: smalldelinquent

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

They had won. Yet the victory was not sweet. Left only was the repercussions of what they had done. What he had done. Clarke had left them . . . left him. Bellamy had placed his hand on the lever with her in assurance that she would not have to do this alone. That they were in this, together. And just like that, she had walked away from Camp Jaha. From their people. From him. It left Bellamy feeling lost and uncertain, and the time that followed was not easy.

Night was filled with the haunting images. Nearly a thousand bodies on his conscience; burdened by being responsible for so many people's lives. For innocent lives. Children. It was all too much, and Bellamy couldn't bare the time alone. So he would set his feelings aside, for the betterment of the camp. And focus on their people. Most of them had made it out alive, but the psychological wounds that remained were substantial. Bellamy made his way to medical to see who was there and one person in particular was in his thoughts.

Charlotte. Since first meeting her, he'd felt a connection toward her. A brotherly instinct that existed in him because of Octavia. She reminded him of her . . . of his sister. And thus, he felt this strong protectiveness over her. Bellamy and Octavia held a rare role, that of a sibling. And he knew that no one else could understand what this truly entailed. What it felt like. But since that initial moment of meeting Charlotte, of seeing how tormented she was . . . he wanted to help her. Beyond what a friend was. But he wanted to be a brother for her; a protector.

Just, someone to be there for her. Seeing her he immediately approached the young female, his eyes searching over her to see if she held any physical injury that would keep her in medical or if she could leave for the night. Bellamy had been tasked with helping assign rooms to the others, so if she didn't have to stay, he would take her to her room. If she did, then he had no plans of leaving her. Especially with what had happened at the dropship, and the other Arkers potentially finding out. Now, more than ever, he needed to protect her. Physically, and emotionally.  "Hey," he greeted, with a small smile though it lacked any joviality. "How are you holding up?" He knew the others had been through hell in Mount Weather . . . and Charlotte was certainly no exception to this.

[smalldelinquent]

Mount Weather had been a place composed of nightmares for Charlotte. One moment everything was peaceful until news of their group slowly, but steadily, growing smaller every week. The thought hadn’t been concerning at first until she heard what the others were saying. Something was terrible could be happening to those that were missing. It only took a mere moment for panic to quickly spread and engulf the twelve year old’s thoughts. For a small moment, she thought this place could be called a home. It seemed as if every time she tried to call a place home.. things always took a turn for the worst. Granted, she personally had a hand when things had changed drastically in their former home. Wells’s death hadn’t ceased to enter her thoughts, almost rivaling the moment she had watched her parents be floated. 

However, peace had come briefly in their rescue from Mount Weather-- they were saved. The moment should have made her feel happy, and yet here she was stuck in a pit of fear and guilt. Things had changed in the camp ever since their return, Clarke’s departure being one of them. Despite admiring the older girl, Charlotte found herself wracked with guilt and fear when she realized who else remained here in Arkadia. Chancellor Jaha. The source behind her nightmares was here in the flesh. Despite the others being around in camp, Charlotte had been quick to keep herself isolated in a small far off corner in the medical bay.

The possibility of seeing Jaha wasn’t something she wanted to risk, especially after what she had done. While Charlotte tried to be a different person, she knew things weren’t as simple as that. Confronting her fears had been one of them, along with the fact she had killed Wells. The pending confrontation wouldn’t be a peaceful one. Her concern now was figuring out if someone had already told Jaha what she had done. While this would have been the simplest solution, she needed to tell him personally what happened. Otherwise, she would continue this cycle of hurt constantly.

With Mount Weather behind them, Charlotte hardly seemed to focus on the small wounds lingering on her. Instead, her attention constantly flickered between her thoughts and the people around her. For a brief moment, she almost failed to see the shadow that Bellamy casted seconds later. Maybe it was the exhaustion or her own thoughts finally slowing her down. It was only when she heard his question that she finally found herself raising her gaze off the floor to glance at him. At the greeting, her lips were pursued in a small, tired smile. “I’m ok--..” Charlotte paused for a moment, eyebrows furrowing slightly at the thought. She couldn’t lie, not to him. “The nightmares they’re back again...” She confessed shakily, practically on the edge of tearing up. Remembering what happened was the last thing she wanted to do right now. Not when her thoughts were plagued by Mount Weather, the lingering effects still there.. waiting to take its' toll on her. Despite having the strength to speak up, she couldn't bear to glance at him, worried about what expression would be shown to her. 

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: smalldelinquent

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy listened intently to Charlotte say that she was ok, and admit that the nightmares were back. He appreciated the honesty; though his heart ached for her and that she would have to endure the same torture he knew first hand: closing your eyes to be haunted by the images that formed in them. Sleep, was not something that should be feared and yet it was. He wished he could somehow give her the ease of it. He knew better than to repeat his last advice of slaying demons, so this time, he would offer more emotional support; do what he could to truly help her long term.

He could only imagine how much worse the nightmares were, now that there was a fresh set of incidents that added to them. The horrors of Mount Weather. Bellamy wanted to keep talking to her about it, but also knew that this wasn't the best place to do that. "Come on. Let's get you to your room," he told her as he offered his hand for her to take. "We'll talk about it there," he added on gently, wanting to assure her that he wasn't ignoring her words and the burden they held to her. As well as wishing to reassure her that he would be remaining with her; that he had no intention of taking her there and leaving her alone. "Have you eaten?" He asked, wondering if he should pick up food for her on the way.

[smalldelinquent]

◄

HAVEN'T YOU HEARD WHAT BECOMES OF CURIOUS MINDS?

It was a struggle to keep herself from growing more distraught at the thought of Jaha discovering she had killed his son, Wells. As much as Charlotte tried to remain strong, she couldn't forgot about the former Chancellor's presence down here on the ground. Seeing him again would only bring back terrible memories accompanied by nightmares once again. She didn't want to relieve those days whenever she closed her eyes.. but what was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to handle this? The sole parental figures she had were gone, no longer able to offer any possible advice to her. Maybe.. that was the reason why she found herself so attached to Bellamy. Despite being a part of the hundred, she never truly felt a part of it. She was the youngest one out of the group, which often left her singled out for most of the activities going on among them. The first couple of days after their arrival, she spent a majority of it isolating herself until Bellamy had extended a hand towards- offering a small job to do among their camp. That had been the moment things had changed for her. Things had improved significantly for the young girl during that moment. She didn't have to live fearful of every second of her life. No, Charlotte finally had an opportunity to change things around in the long room. Granted, she had done something horrible, but who hadn't at this point? All the hushed words of what went on during their time at Mount Weather hadn't been ignored blindly. She overheard what some of the hundred had done, what they had to do to get them back from the Mountain Men. The news hadn't been pretty in the slightest. 

Despite the shakiness clinging to her, there was a steadiness sticking to her as her hand reached out and accepted Bellamy's offered hand. She didn't want to be alone, not during this time. Some company would be nice. Taking a small breath of air, she turned her gaze over to him briefly. "I have.. a room?" Charlotte questioned, disbelief evident in her voice. Considering what she had done awhile back, the last thing the twelve year old expected was to have her own room here. Jaha's presence here had left her thinking that wouldn't be the case. How long would it take until someone told him she was the one that killed his son? Fortunately, Bellamy's voice had snapped her out of her thoughts, forcing her attention to be solely on him. "O-Oh, okay." She muttered softly, nodding her head seconds later. It was a relief to know the talk would be continued later on in the day. As much as she refused to admit it, Charlotte wanted to talk about this. She didn't want to ignore the long pending conversation any longer, not when she was driving herself to exhaustion with the onslaught of terrible memories plaguing her. It was about time that she brought this issue up for once. There was no need to repeat a past mistake once again, not when she had an opportunity to do better this time around. "No, I didn't get a chance." Charlotte answered, shaking her head at his question. Between the rescue and the insisted check-ups, she didn't have much time to pick up something to eat. In her defense, Mount Weather had left her recoiling back into herself- not wanting to think about anything else. "Some food would be nice.." Charlotte admitted, eyes flickering down to the floor briefly. Hesitation flickered on her facial features for a moment as she considered her next words, almost feeling uncertain of speaking them. ".. Jaha won't be there, right?" Charlotte questioned, trying desperately to keep her voice steady and clear of fear. 

Bellamy Blake

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