i'll give you the stars if you give me the moon

[Derrick]

iah

LEXA KOM TRIKRU

Growing up in Polis and the environment she lived in left little room for crushes. She was fifteen, growing into a young woman whose heart would beat painfully whenever her gaze lingered too long on Ontari. A year ago she would never entertain the idea of a crush, too busy training, too busy absorbing everything she needed to learn in order to become a better Heda. Now though, she suposed it was because she was waiting for Ontari to catch up. To say she was crushing pretty heavily was a major understatement. Lexa even made some excuses just to be near her, such as moving to pair herself up with the other girl during training, sitting next to her when they were lectured by their Heda.

The night was bright, littered with thousands of stars and the moon at its fullest. A beautiful sight that Lexa wanted to share and she couldn't help but want to share it with Ontari. She'd already found out some of the weaker links in Polis where she could sneak out to see, having done so a few times already to help cope with her loneliness. Despite having people around her, she didn't exactly fit in much at times. The girl was serious, trained a little more than she should, was always wanting to learn what she could. Absorb everything like a sponge. She did spend time with the others, playing around but it was a far cry from when she was younger. Her younger self was less serious because she was still a child. Now she was growing up, and it was time to leave the child behind.

Already she had climbed out of bed because she hadn't been able to sleep. She'd sat at the window to look outside, the only lights in the streets came from fires that burned for illumination. Though with such a bright sky, there was really no need. For several moments she had debated about her plan before getting up off the window sil and padded down the quiet hallways until she reached the room where Ontari slept. She lightly knocked on the door before entering, trying to be as quiet as possible until she got a little closer. "Ontari? You awake?" Lexa's voice wasn't as loud as it could be, not wanting to draw too much attention from outside sources.

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[Deleted]

Ontari was the type to like her sleep. Loved it like it was the best thing in the world. After training hard throughout the day both physically and through lessons with Heda Ontari was the type to fall into sleep quickly and soundly. So that meant that she was well and truly asleep when a voice came about next to her. Before the voice arrived, at least. Sleeping soundly didn't quite equate with staying asleep. It was also a fact that Ontari was the type to wake easily and there was going to be no exception to that fact happening on this particular night. With a groan, Ontari turned onto her back, her head sinking into the pillow under it as she slowly regained consciousness. Waking up was definitely the worst part about sleeping and by the time Ontari felt up to speaking, she wasn't even close to getting her eyes open. "Hmm?" she hummed, hoping her lack of real response gave away the fact that she was most definitely not awake before she had been disturbed. As Ontari started to feel more awake, her brain realised that the voice she had heard wasn't just anyone's voice, it had been Lexa's voice. A soft smile found its way onto Ontari's face while butterflies fluttered around her stomach. There was something about Lexa coming to wake her up in the middle of the night that had Ontari feeling both nervous and excited. For whatever reason she was feeling that way, Ontari knew that she wouldn't just be going back to sleep. While Ontari tended to take on a caring and even mothering role towards her younger nightblood siblings, she hadn't always quite gotten along with the ones older than her, particularly Lexa. That had changed though as they had gotten older, coming into their teenage years. The two had grown close and now Ontari could confidently say that they were definitely friends, definitely sisters...and that the feelings Ontari held towards Lexa were stronger than anything she had felt before. To a point where she wasn't quite sure she understood them. Ignoring the nerves and letting the excitement she felt help in waking her, Ontari opened her eyes and turned her head to the side to see Lexa standing next to her bed. Her heart beat just the slightest bit faster, enough for Ontari to notice and enough for her cheeks to colour slightly. There was relief at the fact that it was too dark for Lexa to be able to notice that. "I'm awake now," Ontari answered, keeping her voice as quiet as Lexa had made hers. Whatever the reason for Lexa's visit, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to wake anyone else up, they would just be told to both go back to bed and to sleep. Ontari sat up on her bed, holding her blankets up under her arms to they still covered her chest and still kept her warm. "Is there something wrong?" she asked. A visit this late at night wasn't something that usually happened so Ontari wanted to make sure she was okay. Lexa was her friend and it didn't matter if she was older or that she was as strong as she was, Ontari would offer her any comfort or help that she could if something was wrong. Derrick || SOOO EXCITED!! Because I haven't said that enough times.

[Derrick]

iah
((ooc// awwww these twoooooooo <3 I'M EXCITED TOO!))

LEXA KOM TRIKRU

Oh how she loathed to wake up the sleeping form that was Ontari. In the dark she couldn't see much yet she was still able to see her and she hoped that the beating of her heart could not be heard in the quiet nights of Polis. Still, as she shifted beneath her blankets, Lexa peered closer only to pull back when she murmured something. Now she was really hoping the trip into Polis outskirts to see the stars would be worth waking Ontari up. And she was hoping Ontari wouldn't be too mad by Lexa pulling her from her slumber. Too late for a change of plans, she needed to continue this now even if the little voice in the back of her mind told her to go back to bed.

She half crouched so that she was more eye-level with Ontari rather than simply standing over her. Ontari was so beautiful, even in the dark light and she, much like her Natblida sibling, felt relief that it was dark in the room because her own cheeks flushed a little, the heat evident of her inner thoughts. "I know you like sleeping and I apologize for waking you." Lexa began. Now that inner voice was telling her to hush and walk away. Pretend nothing happened. Her biggest fear at this point was probably her emotions being found out and rejected because she had them. Or rejection in general. Lexa was afraid and it didn't help she never really had these feelings before and no-one told her what exactly was going on.

"Nothing is wrong." Lexa tried to assure her friend that everything was fine. Ignore the thumping of her heart or the way her stomach flip flopped when Ontari looked at her or the way she hung onto her every word. "I'm sorry if I startled you. I just want to show you something." No way was she going to tell her where they were going or what it was, though that begged the question. "You trust me, right?" Trust her to keep them safe. Trust her to take the fall if they were caught. This was all Lexa's idea and so she would happily take all the blame if it meant Ontari didn't get punished. What was the punishment for going into the outskirts at night? It wasn't exactly safe out there, no guards, nothing. Enemies could be prowling, just waiting.

Except they wouldn't truly be in the outskirts. Just in the forest area where they trained during the day. The area overlooked Polis and had the perfect view to watch the skies above and that was where she wanted to take Ontari. To share with her what Lexa saw, the beauty and tranqility of the night skies, the stars and the moon. And the beauty that was the girl before her.

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[Deleted]

It was so like Lexa to begin with an apology and the sound of it put a smile on Ontari's face. The girl could be way kinder than she needed to be sometimes. even more so than Ontari tried to be. Ontari tried to be a big sister, to care for the younger Natblida. Lexa just held herself constantly with an air of politeness, one that could easily come across as being cold and distant. At least that's how Ontari had tended to see it as in the past. The polite air and the large interest in training had made Lexa out to be the largest threat to Ontari...but Ontari didn't want to think about that. Not now in the middle of the night when Lexa had woken her. Not with the feelings that she felt. Especially not with the way Lexa had crouched down so they were at a similar height. While it was too dark for Ontari too see Lexa's face very clearly, she could still see her there and it made her excited and made her nervous. Lexa was beautiful and Ontari liked to look at her face whenever she could. It would be lying to say she didn't take advantage of their training together to get such a chance, to get the chance to watch her face and say it was to learn to read her enemy. Now though, she couldn't see her face clear enough to read anything. All Ontari got was from the words that Lexa said. It was a relief to hear that nothing was wrong and it just left Ontari even more curious as to why she had been woken. If nothing was wrong then Ontari could only guess that she was being woken for something good and it didn't even really matter what it was, Ontari would be happy doing anything with Lexa. "No problems waking me," Ontari said, her voice a bit croaky from sleep. A yawn followed her words and she quickly lifted her hand to cover her face, not wanting the involuntary action to make Lexa feel bad. Whatever Lexa had planned or whatever she wanted to talk about was going to happen. It might take a while for Ontari to completely wake but there was also no way she would be able to go back to sleep now. "That's good," she commented on nothing being wrong, a smile still on her lips. As Ontari lifted a hand to run through her hair, removing a tangle, her eyes widened at Lexa's words. Her curiosity was sparked, her mind wondering what it could be that Lexa wanted to show her. This was definitely anything but normal, but Ontari had no problems about it and she would stay awake all night to see what Lexa wanted her to see if it came to that. It was good again that the room was quite dark. As Ontari's mind wandered, her thoughts went to things that left her cheeks heating but her heart beating. As confusing as these feelings she held for Lexa were, they were only made worse and the whole thing more confusing when something like this happened. She bit the inside of her cheek but managed to keep her eyes on Lexa's face. "I trust you," she said. There was no reason for Ontari not to trust her, like she trusted all her nightblood siblings. Lexa, though, she probably trusted more than others. "What do you want to show me?" She swung her legs over the edge of the bed Derrick || They're like totally adorable!!

[Derrick]

iah

LEXA KOM TRIKRU

Lexa tried to remain stoic. Tried to not let it show too much how much Ontari's words meant to her though she was sure it showed somewhere on her face. Someone had once told her that most of her expression was in the eyes. She was good at keeping the rest of her face neutral but those eyes of hers needed working on. Too much expression, too much of her soul were in her eyes. They were expression when the rest became expressionless.

Right now she didn't mind too much when she hoped that the expression was friendly - she hoped that her crush wouldn't be seen in her eyes because that would be very hard to explain away.

Though she trained furtively, Lexa didn't actually like thinking about the future. Sure she entertained the idea of becoming Heda, most of them did, and though she took it far too seriously, she also didn't think of the biggest thing she would need to do in order to become Heda. Kill her siblings in the conclave. Thinking about it made her gut twist painfully - the idea of killing her siblings, those she grew up with and trained, wasn't much of a pleasant thought. How could she? She looked at Ontanri and she couldn't even think about hurting her let alone killing her. She wanted to protect her and that was what she would do. She was not going to think about the future. Not think about the conclave.

I'll protect you. I will always protect you. Ontari had nothing to fear from Lexa. She wouldn't push her to do anything she didn't want to, she would never put her in true danger(going into the training area was a little dangerous mainly because if they were caught they'd be in trouble but nothing life threatening). It was a silent promise, one that wouldn't be spoken outloud because she knew that the words could be broken. Rather than disappoint other people she might as well only disappoint herself. Or so she thought.

Instead she stood up, reached her hand out for Ontari to take if she wanted just to help her to her feet before she turned and slowly padded to the door. "It's a surprise but I think you'll really like it." Lexa gave one of her soft smiles as she turned to look at Ontari before her started walking again. Slow steps, careful steps, so she could also listen out for movements of the guards. They were there to protect the Heda but also the Natblidas. If they were caught at this point, no doubt they'd be sent back to bed or maybe even let off if they were near someplace like a bathroom.

So far it was clear.

Slowly she continued to make her way, avoiding where she knew guards would be stationed. Exiting the tower into the grounds made her pause for a few moments to look around. The streets were eeriely quiet at this time of night. Still she moved along, not looking up into the skies yet because she didn't want to give away part of her plan. What wasn't part of the plan was guards moving up ahead and Lexa ducked, darting around some of the closed stalls while motioning for Ontari to follow unless she had taken her hand. Her back pressed against the stall edge and she held her breathe, waiting for the guards to go on by before they continued on.

- - - - -

[Deleted]

The offer of Lexa's hand had Ontari pause and actually think about whether she would take it or not. It wasn't like Ontari had never held Lexa's hand before, she could probably bring up multiple times where she had and she would have definitely touched the girl more than that during training. Still, it felt different as she looked at Lexa's hand now and she wasn't sure if she wanted to take it or not. At the possibility of taking it her heart beat even harder in her chest. The feeling wasn't completely uncomfortable...and maybe if she took the hand it would stop the feeling, Ontari could only hope. She took hold of Lexa's hand, only ever so slightly larger than her own and stood up to accompany her out of the room. The beating in her chest didn't really settle down but kept hold of Lexa's hand, not particularly wanting to let go. It was soft and comfortable to hold. Wherever Lexa was taking her, wherever this surprise was, Ontari was beginning to wonder if it was somewhere they shouldn't be going. The smile Lexa gave her was soft though and Ontari didn't particularly care. She wasn't the type to usually want to break the rules, Ontari tended to like to follow the rules as best as she could and set an example for her other siblings but she did trust Lexa. Lexa was older and she was good at really everything she did, Ontari could trust her to keep them both safe and out of trouble. And she was really excited about whatever the surprise would be. It wasn't often that Ontari could say she had experienced a real surprised, things were pretty typical and predictable in the tower. The last time Ontari had gotten a surprise it hadn't been a particularly good one, vomit in her bed from one of the younger siblings being sick. Before that it was hard to remember any surprises other than the day she found out about the conclave and that was anything but a good surprise. Being woken by Lexa for a good surprised was definitely the best thing she could remember happening to her. As she walked hand in hand with Lexa, Ontari made sure to match the older girl's steps, keeping her feet light and watching out for any guards that might be around. Lexa seemed to know extremely well which way to go and as they made it outside of the tower, sitll unseen, Ontari was impressed. Worried but impressed. If they got caught now it would be a lot more difficult for them to tslk their way out of this. Ontari couldn't help the worry building in her, making a blanket over any feelings of excitement and making her want to tell Lexa that they should just go back before it was too late. The worst thing Ontari could imagine was getting in trouble for something like this where she knew they would be punished. She squeezed Lexa's hand from her nerves. When Lexa ducked down, running behind a closed stall, Ontari was forced to follow even she had no idea why. She could only guess it were guards, however. There was no hesitation in following and copy Lexa, trusting that if she did that it would be the safest thing for them to do. She stayed next to Lexa, her own back pressed against the stall also and glanced around to catch shadows on the ground in the moonlight, moving slowly. Guards. Closing her eyes for a second as a fresh wave of worry wah over her, Ontari squeezed Lexa's hand again without really noticing that she was doing it. As long as they didn't get caught, that's all that Ontari could hope for right then. She looked over at Lexa as her eyes opened again, hoping that her worry didn't show on her face although it likely did. Ontari was not good at that yet, hiding her emotions from her face. She tried to learn but never really had a big push or reason to learn it and so she knew her face tended to be an open book. From that all she could hope was that Lexa didn't hate her for the worry on her face. It wasn't that Ontari didn't trust Lexa, it was just the situation was unfamiliar, that Ontari held a high need to follow the rules, to do what she was told. "What happens if we get caught?" Ontari whispered, keeping her voice as quiet as she could. It probably wouldn't help their situation at all for her to be talking. It was probably the worst thing she could do. Trying to put a smile on her own face, Ontari spoke again. "This better be worth it," she said, hoping there was a joking tone to her voice. If they weren't hiding from guards, Ontari might have laughed.  Derrick || "I trust you" says Ontari. She still worries. So trusting!

[Derrick]

iah

LEXA KOM TRIKRU

Of course there were guards. Lexa should have seen it from a mile away! Though she'd seen them approaching and thus they were able to get out of their line of sight, she couldn't help but wonder how Ontari was feeling. This was not what she wanted to show the other girl and she hoped that she wouldn't want to turn back now because of a slight setback - though Lexa would accompany her back to the tower if she did want to turn back. Lexa was stubborn, commanding even depending on the situation. But if Ontari changed her mind then Lexa would accept that. Be a little hurt, but accept it all the same.

She looked at Ontari to reassure her when she saw the worry on her face and her heart seemed to sink a little. Though she didn't hate Ontari for feeling the worry(she could never hate Ontari full stop), she hated herself for making Ontari worry like this. Lexa gave her hand a small, reassuring squeeze, hoping it would put into words what she was feeling without actually speaking. It's okay to worry. But I'll make sure to chase the worries away.

"The guards will summon Titus. Probably Heda as well. We'll be lectured on why we shouldn't sneak out." There would be no severe punishments like losing their heads. Being Natblida meant they were pretty safe from executions due to the rarity of their status. Only those born with black blood were able to train to become Heda. Only their blood could accept the Flame, something that dated back to the first Commander. Becca Pramheda. Her voice was quiet as she spoke as not to alert the guards who were making their way down the main part of the street, their boots were the only sound apart from their breathing that could be heard in the still night.

Lexa peered over the top edge of their hiding spot, "This was my idea so I'll take all the blame. You shouldn't have to get into trouble for my ideas." the older girl finished, eyes squinting in the darkness. The guards had made their way near their spot with one pausing and looking about. It was a tense few seconds where Lexa was sure they'd be found until the guards picked up the pace again. She waited until they were out of sight around the tower before she dared move, exhaling the breathe she didn't know she had been holding.

"Oh it is." Lexa grinned at the mention of this better be worth it. "At least I think it is." And with that, she stood up, checked to make sure the coast was clear once more before she padded along the streets. Taking the back way rather than be right in the open, weaving through stalls before coming to the familiar sight where they exited the main town of Polis and into the forests. She took the familiar path with no need for fire light or even the stars to guide her. "Okay, close your eyes. It'll only be for a few moments." Lexa waited before leading her into the wide open space that served as their battle training.

"Okay, you can open your eyes." If they had been closed. Lexa stood at the edge that overlooked Polis with the stars and the moon shining brightly in the skies. "This was what I wanted to show you. Isn't it beautiful?"

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[Deleted]

The squeeze of her hand was a little reassuring to Ontari, although there was no way such a small gesture could completely help her to regain her confidence. It did help a small bit, Ontari couldn't help but thinking that, and it definitely reminded her of the warmth of Lexa's hand in her own. That was a nice reminder. The punishment they would suffer from getting caught didn't sound that bad, not with the way that Lexa put it but Ontari still found herself worried about getting caught. While she didn't find herself particularly scared of getting lectured by Heda, Titus was a completely different story. The guy scared her more than she would really like to admit. Ontari didn't find herself too often scared by people, not when she was the warrior she was at only thirteen and knowing how well protected she was as a Natblida but Titus was always someone who had managed to scare her.  Hearing that Lexa would take the blame, well, that was something that both surprised Ontari and made her heart swell just the slightest bit. Surprised because she was often the one taking the blame for her younger siblings, trying to keep them safe, taking on that mothering role because she felt she had to. To have someone take the blame for her, even if it was their fault more than her own, it was something different. Ontari didn't know if she completely liked the idea of it in general but she did like that it was Lexa doing it. She was about to say something in reply, although she wasn't completely sure what that something was. When Lexa's body language changed and she stiffened, Ontari decided against speaking and just stayed silent and still instead. The moment drew out for what felt like forever to Ontari before an audible breath left Lexa, informing Ontari that whatever danger had been there was no gone. "All good?" Ontari asked, still keeping her voice low. Ontari's question was definitely answered by the fact that Lexa stood up, pausing for a short moment but deciding it was safe for them to continue. "If you think it's worth it, it probably is," Ontari said, a smile on her face as she matched Lexa's steps. It was a relief to not be out in the open. Lexa brought them around stalls, keeping them as hidden as possible and Ontari found no reason to complain. The more hidden they were, the less chance of getting caught. As long as there wasn't a large chance of them getting caught, Ontari could relax again and let herself enjoy this. It was a great thing. It didn't even matter what it was that Lexa wanted to show her, although Ontari did want to know what that was. Being as unused to secrets as she was, Ontari was starting to get impatient about it, wishing that Lexa would just tell her rather than be so determined as she was to show her. It was when they turned into the forest that Ontari started being able to cut down possibilities on what she might be shown. Obviously it was nothing in the city and nothing that needed light to see. The forest was a lot darker than the city had been, both due to the fact that there were no torches or fires around and that the thick foliage acted like a barrier to block a lot of the moonlight. Even though it was dark, Ontari felt completely confident in her steps, knowing the forest well enough to keep herself from tripping or injuring herself in anyway. So when Lexa asked her to close her eyes, Ontari did so and gave Lexa's hand a squeeze when she had. "Okay," she replied. Ontari let Lexa lead her forward, trying her best not to peak but she did, just a bit, and recognised the clearing they were walking into. The moonlight lit it up, colouring everything with a blue white light. Ontari made sure to close her eyes again quickly before Lexa would notice she had opened them at all. It would be a lie to say she wasn't a bit confused as to why she was being brought there, however. Ontari opened her eyes quickly as Lexa said she could. The view that filled her eyes was...it was beautiful. The stars and moon hung over Polis, shining brighter than she could ever remember seeing them. They gave light to the city, more than the fires did. Pure light that made the city look beautiful and Ontari had never particularly thought of Polis as beautiful before. "So beautiful. This is worth it," Ontari said, the awe obvious in her voice as she grinned and continued to take in the view in front of her. Her mind could hard comprehend just how many stars were shining in the sky above her. Somehow she managed to look away from them just so that she could look over at Lexa. Out of anything that Ontari imagined Lexa would show her, this was better, and the fact that Lexa had went to the trouble of doing so was unbelievable. "Thank you." She squeezed Lexa's hand, realising she was still holding it and decided to let it go. They didn't need to be doing that now. "There are just so many stars," Ontari commented as she looked back up at the sky. Derrick

[Derrick]

iah

"Millions. All up there, shining brightly." Lexa stared up at the skies as if she it held such a sway over her. The stars were magical and she often found herself thinking what was up there, beyond the stars. Was there even anything? There had to be. Their existence couldn't be the only one. Although anyone else might be considered a threat, they already had one enemy to deal with - those in the mountains had been their enemy for as long as Lexa could remember. Who knew if those she thought about were friend or foe. If anything even existed up there. Lexa didn't know and she knew it wasn't something she should be thinking about.

Never had she felt so nervous before, not even waiting to be reprimanded by Titus came close. This was different, this was showing someone she cared a great deal, the stars that she enjoyed watching at night, finding them beautiful and calming. And from here it was possible to see much more of the bright lights in the skies compared to being in their rooms. Her eyes glittered with the stars reflections as she gazed up, a soft smile on her features as she took in the sights. Though the stars were gorgeous, it had nothing on the beauty of the natblida beside her. "I'm glad you think so too. Nothing is more beautiful than the twinkling stars. Well, there is one thing more beautiful."

Ontari squeezing her hand seemed to give her courage that she needed in that moment even if Ontari didn't exactly know it. "And that is you. And I know how cheesy it sounds but it's true. I like you Tari; more than just a friend. My heart beats faster when I'm with you." Lexa realized how she sounded and yet she couldn't stop the words from flowing from her mouth. "I understand if you don't feel the same way but I had to tell you how I feel." She felt it was important and she didn't know why, just that she did. Under the stars seemed like a good way to tell someone how they felt and it wasn't the reason why she brought Tari out here.

Originally it was to show her the view. And had she not have had that spur she wouldn't have even said a word. Of course now she was left to wonder if that had been such a smart idea. Their hands were let go, she wondered when that happened, and so she was free to move around the clearing. She padded closer to the edge, where the opening revealed the skies and the tower of Polis before them. The leaves remained green though in the dark it was hard to tell it's exact coloring. Similarly, the darkness hide the fact she was blushing, her cheeks reddening, hot to the touch. She was regretting the words the moment they had come from her mouth, too late to take them back and now she had to wait for Tari to respond.

All while butterflies did their little dance in the pit of her belly, her features holding some of what she was feeling but otherwise it was trying to be stoic, waiting for the worst case scenario.

[Deleted]

Millions of stars. It sounded crazy, to think just how many shining lights there were in the sky, looking down on Ontari and Lexa in the clearing. The whole moment was so perfect and Ontari felt nothing but joy about having trusted Lexa to come out here. Beautiful Lexa. Ontari glanced down from the skies to take a peek over at her, seeing the way she looked so much more beautiful under the light of the moon and stars. She looked like a star to Ontari in that moment. Those confusing feelings that Ontari held towards Lexa floated up to the surface, causing butterflies to stir in her stomach and making it almost impossible for Ontari to drag her eyes away from Lexa. Not that any part of her wanted to look away. Lexa had gone to the trouble of bringing Ontari out here, had offered to take any blame for the action, had even put that extra effort in at the end to have Ontari close her eyes for the surprise. It all meant so much to Ontari, in a way that felt way too intense for her to understand. When Lexa spoke again, Ontari listened intently. Of course she did. Lexa spoke of how there was nothing more beautiful than the stars and Ontari couldn't help but agree. They were one of the most beautiful things that Ontari had ever seen and the view from the clearing had to be the best they would ever get to see. And when Lexa continued, saying there was one thing more beautiful, Ontari agreed even more. She knew exactly what -- or more, who -- was more beautiful than the stars but she held certain doubt that Lexa would be thinking a similar thing. Ontari had no idea what she expected Lexa would say but...her face lit up in a bright smile, only following a small and quick passingly look of shock. Joy seemed to fill her, flowing out of her heart and through to the rest of her body. Fueling a smile, an energy and increasing the butterflies that flew around her stomach in a way that didn't actually feel bad. The one thing Ontari wanted to do in that moment was tell Lexa that her own heart beat faster around her as well. To tell her that she was more beautiful than the stars to her. That she was a Star. But Ontari couldn't find her voice at first, the joy taking away that ability as it flooded through her. Ontari couldn't do anything but stand there, listen and then watch as Lexa began to move away from her, over towards the edge of the clearing. Almost like the shock of the admission had her frozen for that moment. When it passed, Ontari began to move before she spoke. She moved over to where Lexa now stood, a shot of confidence allowing her to take hold of Lexa's hand again. "My heart is beating faster right now," Ontari said, blush colouring her cheeks even though it wouldn't be seen in the darkness. She couldn't help but wonder if Lexa was blushing as well, or if that was something she was alone in. Lexa was older and held more confidence than Ontari, at least that was what Ontari always believed. The blush may have just been Ontari's youth showing.  It was a good thing Lexa wouldn't be able to see it. Taking in a deep breath, Ontari found the confidence to speak again. "It's confusing," Ontari admitted. She was only thirteen and feelings like the ones she felt weren't exactly the sort of ones explained in the life of a natblida. It made sense, they wouldn't have time for that, reason for that. It would only distract from their training and...no, Ontari wasn't even going to let her thoughts go there. The future didn't matter. What mattered was the fact that Lexa had just admitted her feelings and Ontari wanted her to know that Ontari had feelings as well. "But I think I like you too." The words sounded stupid as they left her mouth, the uncertainty of them. Ontari wished she could have put more confidence into her voice and her words and her understanding of the feelings like Lexa but she couldn't then. She could only do what she could do. Derrick || Some Lexari feels <3

[Derrick]

All these emotions, for someone who wasn't used to feeling such things, was quite scary. As one of the commanders in training, she was supposed to be focused on that training, on becoming a good commander. This wasn't being a good commander. What was it that was said? Love was weakness, to be commander was to be alone. It explained why it was only the commander that lead and that she never saw them with anyone else. A lone figure with the weight of the clan on their shoulders. Lexa understood a little. Without having anyone else, that meant enemies couldn't use them against you.

Yet to deny that one feeling that made everything better seemed even crazier. To like someone more than a friend, why deny that? She had been slightly afraid of her emotions, and more than slightly afraid of telling Ontari as if those emotions were somehow forbidden and the punishment was death(it was technically forbidden but they weren't going to be killed because of it. Their rare blood saved them from a lot of things). What she had been afraid of most was if Ontari didn't feel the same way and then somehow she ruined their friendship because of feelings she had. Despite not devoting all her time to these thoughts, she had spent enough to warrant imaging everything that could go wrong.

And she waited. Waited to hear the words she was dreading to hear except when Ontari spoke, they were far different from her imagination. But I think I like you too, and Lexa felt her heart skip a beat and the breath that she had been holding escaped in a puff of air. Relief flooded her system and Lexa couldn't help but smile as she leaned closer. Not to kiss her, no she would only do that if Ontari wanted her to(she wanted to kiss her but she also respected Ontari enough not to push) but just to share the close space with Ontari. To show her that she would always be by her side. "I'm so relieved to hear. I was so scared that you might not think the same way." Lexa admitted, almost shyly. It was silly though because this was Ontari, her best friend and someone she cared for and trusted more than anyone else.

iah