Our Own Worst Enemy

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Derrick

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

It hadn't been long since the Mount Weather Massacre. Things were falling into a routine now that people were swiftly recovering from their injuries. Physically at least. The emotional and psychological wounds would take far more to heal. Time may not even be adequate. And Bellamy was no exception to this. He was bathing in the blood of over 600 people. Innocent men, women, and children. Images that would haunt him for the rest of his life. But alas, he had to swallow it, set it aside, and focus on the tasks of each day. Focus on his people who remained. It was easier during the day where he could find numerous distractions. He had been given more responsibility among the Arkers, no longer seen as a risk but rather, an asset. He had done everything he could to bring his people home, yet his failures were not far from his mind.

All he could do was move forward; take it one day at a time. Night was the worst, but fortunately, the day was still upon him. Which was why he was currently out in the woods, scouting, hunting if anything came into view. Really, it was for the clearing of his head. To get away from camp, even if only for a couple of hours. It was a strange juxtaposition: he needed the distraction of his people but also needed the space. Perhaps that was why Clarke had left. Yet he didn't excuse it as a reason either. The resentment he felt over her departure was yet another element of pain and burden on what was left of his soul. With his gun strapped to his shoulder, he mindlessly wandered, still paying attention to his surroundings, fully on guard . . . but at the same time, lost within himself.

It was a rustling of leaves that caused him to pause. Something was nearing him. He immediately pulled the gun and aimed it behind him to where the sound was. He didn't see the source. Something compelled him to find it though, and before he knew it, his feet were cautiously moving in the direction of the sound. Another rustle, another flicker of something out there. He neared the distance, creeping closer, and finally jumped out into view where he saw it. No. He saw her. His gun was aimed at her, and if there were others nearby, he didn't see them. His gaze was completely fixated on the woman that he blamed for so much. "Son of a bitch," he blunted breathed out in a low voice. How easy it would be to shoot her, and maybe it wasn't easy at all. What he did know, was the surprise of seeing her was what prevented him from making any attempt at her, and instead just stood there, staring.

[Derrick]

HEDA LEXA KOM TRIKRU

blood must have blood

Never had she made a decision that she later looked back on with regret. She was Head the Commander; she couldn't afford to regret her choices or second guess herself. And yet when she walked back down that mountain with her people safely with her, she couldn't help but wonder. Love is weakness. Lexa continued to tell herself, over and over again even as she paced in her room in Polis. She had to do what was right for her people and though she had wanted to save both her people and Skai Kru, she had been duty bound.

So why did it taste like ashes in her mouth?

Though it had been days after she had left Skai Kru at the mountain, Lexa was still privy to the knowledge of what had gone on up there. Because of all those that had died by Clarke's hand, she was now Wanheda. The Commander of Death. And she was hunted by those who had once been allies with her. Though she briefly thought about killing Clarke, she knew she could never do such a thing to the woman she had fallen in love with. Love is weakness. Every time she thought about Clarke, she told herself over and over that it was weakness. She could not feel such emotional attachment to the Clarke kom Skai Kru. So she did what she did best, swallow her feelings and do her duty.

There was not much danger in the woods aside from Skai Kru and various animals. Most animals wouldn't attack unless provoked and she hadn't heard any news surrounding pauna - still she was cautious. The Heda had plenty of allies, plenty of people willing to protect her and die to keep her safe but she also had enemies. People who didn't agree with her actions, people such as Azgeda who would be more than willing to kill her. Since she wanted to be alone, or rather the pretense of being alone, she had ordered her soldiers to stay somewhat behind her, telling them she was more than capable of looking after herself. No doubt some were not going to listen and follow any way but that couldn't be helped.

Her movements caused sounds of the leaves to rustle beneath her feet yet other sounds were present. She paused, watching closely until a male came into view with a gun pointed right at her.

"Are you going to shoot me, Belomi kom Skai Kru?" Lexa asked, using his name in her native language while eyeing the gun with distrust and distaste. Oh how she hated guns despite their apparent usefulness. Even without her beliefs there would still be distrust towards the metal killers after that massacre of one of her villages. She knew damn well he wasn't going to shoot least he risk getting a chest full of arrows and she doubted he would risk a retaliated attack on his people for hurting the Heda. "If you don't plan on shooting me then I suggest you lower your weapon." The least she could do was pretend that she actually had backup een if she was alone.

TAG: Bellamy Blake
NOTES: hope this is okay <3


THIS LAYOUT WAS CODED BY RAINE OF THE 100 ROLEPLAY

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Derrick

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Was he going to shoot her. His finger was on the trigger, the barrel of his gun aimed right at her. It would be so easy to do so. But . . . it would be revenge. It would be murder. He wasn't like the Grounders, who believed in a life for a life and that torturing and killing someone was justice. Clearly though, that rule only applied when it was Skaikru involved. They had let the Mountain Men get off, scot free. Letting them get away with the countless murder of their people for generations. And in return, every citizen of Mount Weather had to pay the price. Even children. He wondered if the supposed great Commander even cared about that. That her cowardice had cost the lives of children.

"Believe me, it's real damn tempting," Bellamy told her truthfully, dead pan fixed on what could so easily be his target. He had killed enough though. And killing Lexa now, wouldn't ease the pain. It wouldn't make the genocide he'd helped commit, any easier to bare. It wouldn't alleviate the guilt. But with his words, he did not lower his gun. He wasn't about to comply with a damn thing she said. He wouldn't take her suggestion. "Guess leaving us for dead didn't quite work out the way you thought," he added on sarcastically. Bitterly. His anger so focused on her. A sound in the distance was the only thing that tore his gaze away, just for a brief moment though. He didn't trust her and he couldn't believe she would show any restraint when it came to eliminating someone who could be perceived as a threat -- like someone pointing a gun to her.

[Derrick]

LEXA KOM TRIKRU

Shooting her would be tempting; she could see it in his eyes and she didn't blame him one bit. After what she had done up in the mountain it was a surprise that many more didn't have their guns trained on her. Or spears aimed at her heart or throat, as the case may be for her people. They were just as unhappy as Skaikru, the decision to save her people had been overlooked for the fact she had betrayed Skaikru and sided with the enemy that had kidnapped them, tortured them, stole their blood.

Blood must have blood. And by taking the deal and walking away, she hadn't given her people what they cried out for. The decision had been an agonizing one, one she didn't want to make but did in order to save her people. And really, it call came down to the gun in his hand. She'd been offered a way to avoid bullets spraying into the bodies of those who looked to her to lead. She didn't have to explain to them and she sure as hell was not going to explain it to Bellamy. If she truly wanted them dead then she would have evacuated TonDC, had Mount Weather realize they had a spy much sooner then they did.

He could believe what he wanted. Her words were not going to sway him either way, "Despite what you may believe, I did what I did for my people. I did not exactly wish for you to die." It was a just a potential since she had left them to fight the battle alone. And that was as good as leaving them to die even if she didn't want them to actually get killed.

Right now he was a threat. Aiming a weapon at her put him in that category and she could kill him where he stood. If he wasn't holding a gun. She knew the odds in this situation and removing him as a threat would likely end up with her shot. Killing her wouldn't make things magically okay. They'd all done things they wished they never had to, or later regretted. Lexa had just as much, if not more blood on her hands than anyone else. One could blame Bellamy and Clarke for the deaths at Mount Weather but while they pulled the lever, it was Lexa's decisions that put them in that position.

She was just as responsible. But less likely to admit it.

A howl in the distance caused Lexa to look up and into the direction of the howl. There were other dangers like Pauan in these forests. "Did you come here on horse or by foot?" She doubted it was a horse because most of the horses were in grounder hands and not Skaikru; still they could have easily taken them from surrounding villages. Who knew?

blood must have blood

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Derrick

she left us

TO DIE ON THAT MOUNTAIN

Bellamy knew he wouldn't be able to pull the trigger. To murder someone like this . . . he wanted to. He knew that his emotional state could push him over the edge. But the fact that he hadn't pulled the trigger yet, was telling in itself. He couldn't. He wouldn't be able to just, execute someone like this. He almost wanted her to advance toward him so he'd have a reason to shoot. But it didn't seem like she sought him dead either. Then again, Bellamy was quite aware of the fact that in hand to hand combat, he was no match for someone like Lexa.

The awareness only making him grip his weapon a little tighter. "Yeah," he began to say in reference to her words. "My people did what they did for your people too." Blunt bitterness in his words. His people had fought for hers, done all the work for her . . . and she had left them. Not to mention that they eliminated the threat of the Mountain that had in turn, protected her people as well. But Bellamy doubted he needed to go into the details of it.

"And why don't you tell that to the Reapers. Or are they necessary sacrifices as well? Just like the people in Tondc." He had been livid when finding out the truth about that. Though his anger rested more with Clarke than Lexa. He had trusted Clarke, and she betrayed that. Her next question caused him to pause, knowing he could be defiant and refuse an answer . . . but that may not get him anywhere if there was indeed a pending threat. "Foot," he answered bluntly. He hadn't even taken the rover today. "What is that, a wolf?" He questioned. They tended to travel in packs . . . which definitely wasn't good.

[Derrick]

you think our ways are harsh

but that is just how we survive

Lexa felt guilty enough without him adding to it. He had every right to feel the way he did but did he not understand her side? "Tell me this. If our roles were reversed, would you have taken the deal and left my people to die?" She tilted her head, watching him with eyes that betrayed no hint of emotion. Having to keep reminding herself that these people were not like hers, that they knew nothing of their ways or politics, it was hard. Half the things they said and did would usually get a reprimand and she hoped there would be a day when she didn't have to keep explaining. It was tiring and something she needed to keep doing. Ah the fun part of being leader, que the sarcasm right then and there.

"If I had evacuated, then the mountain would know they had a traitor. You probably would have been found and both sides killed. While it was nessecary, it is something that will haunt me until the end of my days." No matter what people may have thought, the decision, while logical, had hurt her deeply. She hadn't wanted to let them die, sky people and her own but it had been important to do so. Both sides didn't agree with her actions, Lexa knew that. She'd protected her people at the cost of them not having blood. Blood must have blood, the mantra, the very life blood of their society and she had denied them that.

Foot, not horse. This was bad. Wolves were fast animals, they could keep up even with horses but at least horses would get him further away, possibly to safety, in that event. When the howl ended, another picked up, sounding closer, and Lexa did not, could not, let the fear show on her features. "Yes. From the sounds of it there is more than one. They usually stay away from most of the villages but if they hunger enough." Lexa let her words hang in the air, knowing he would understand exactly what she was meaning. If wolves hungered enough they would come for them no matter where they were and since they were close, it could only be one reason.

Lexa did not plan on becoming a wolf's meal today. Her hand reached for her sword, gripping it tightly within her hand as she waited to hear another howl that would allow them to at least have a better idea on where they were. After several tense seconds, another howl rent the air. They needed to make a decision and quickly; to stay and fight or run and hide because the wolves would circle around to try and trap them. Lexa was going to stay and fight. Not because she had anything to prove but because she knew they wouldn't be able to hide for too long.

SETTING: forests
TAG: Bellamy Blake
NOTES: LOL. 3rd coded post layout in this hread xDD

THIS LAYOUT WAS CODED BY RAINE OF THE 100 RPG

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Derrick
Note: I apologize for Bellamy in this post!! Dude gets so emotional and he needs to stop bottling it up all the time!

she left us

TO DIE ON THAT MOUNTAIN

Bellamy listened to Lexa ask him a question regarding the deal. He wouldn't be able to do it. Then again, he didn't consider himself to be a leader. It was bad enough that he was part of the decision to kill everyone in Mount Weather. "I freed your people from the cages." It wasn't an attempt at self glorification. It was a fact. "I held up my end of the deal. You didn't. I'm not a traitor. I wouldn't go back on my word." He would keep to it, or so he liked to think.

The eerie thought of how he had told Echo that he would kill everyone in the Mountain . . . unknowing at the time as to how true these words would prove to be. Bellamy clenched his jaw at Lexa's next explanation. About evacuating. "You think I didn't know that when I heard about the missile?" He knew of the consequences. "There was never any choice though." Especially with his sister there. It was a risk he had been willing to take.

"But unlike you, I'm not willing to let my own people die." None of them. He wouldn't sacrifice his own for the many. But apparently Lexa, and Clarke were willing to do so. The thought of being hurt by Clarke doing it far more than Lexa, made his heart ache. "Good," he said bluntly when she spoke of how it would haunt her until the end of her days. Perhaps he didn't really mean that, but he was angry. Hurt. And one of the sources of it was standing directly in front of him.

He took a small step toward her, not threateningly, or intrusively, but instinctively, to go along with his next words. "Because what you made us do at Mount Weather, will haunt us for the rest of our days as well." And that, was the ultimate punishment. While he knew he couldn't exactly refer to Clarke and himself as we -- though Monty was not excluded from the grouping -- Bellamy knew that it was something that would haunt Clarke as well. And he hated what it did to his friends.

He hated what it did to the innocents in Mount Weather. "You deserve it." More words spoken out of bitter resentment, clenching his jaw and knowing that he should hold back. But when he became too emotional, being forced to bottle up all these emotions for so long . . . they were now threatening to spill over. Only he knew that the true person he hated, above everyone else, was himself. And he knew, that in saying that Lexa deserved it . . . Bellamy knew that he deserved it too. To be haunted. To be burdened. To suffer this life with the constant reminder of what he had done.

When Lexa drew her sword, it made it clear what stance she was taking, and Bellamy turned his body and gun toward the different howls as he listened to her. He half expected her to maim him as a distraction and then make a run for it. Could they actually work together? "How many are we looking at here?" He asked, shifting the focus to the pending threat. Bellamy knew that running may only provoke them . . . but staying, if they were severely outnumbered, might not be safe either. "A pack of hungry wolves doesn't exactly sound like the odds are in our favor." Especially if it was a large pack.