Pregnant With...Emotion?

[Nina Eaton]

OR He'll say he's just not the same and you'll begin to wonder why you came Nina knew all of the signs by this point in their relationship. She knew how to tell when Bellamy was close to his release. There were the little things like his breath becoming more erratic and the feeling of him throbbing inside of her, twitching even slightly. But it was the finality of his thrusts that really told her that he was almost there. She was so close and she wanted to get to that same point with him. She felt him come inside of her and one thrust later and she felt her own orgasm reach it's peak. Waves of pleasure washed over her body and her nails dug into his shoulders. She cried out and let the spasms move across her body, leaving behind a delicious sensation that she wanted to hold onto forever.  She worked on catching her breath but loved the feeling of Bellamy on top of her. He began to kiss her neck and she smiled at the sensation. Little declarations of love were being placed over her neck and up towards her face. She felt his warm breath in her ear and heard him say those words that made this whole thing different from any other time. Grinning, Nina reached over and captured his lips with her own. "I love you too," she said. She ran a hand through his curls, raking her fingers through his hair as she smiled at him. Yeah. She definitely loved him. __________________________________________________________________ A few weeks later, Nina still hadn't really disclosed her pregnancy to anyone. She wasn't really showing but if you paid close attention, you could see a small bump forming on her stomach. She no longer wore the tight tank tops that she was usually seen in. Now she mostly wore t-shirts unless she was in her room or at an appointment with Abby. It wasn't like she was afraid of telling people, seeing as Nina had never really cared about what other people thought. She just didn't want people to start treating her like a glass doll. Something that Bellamy had started to do in some ways. She knew he meant well. She knew he just wanted to take care of her and make sure everything was alright. But that didn't mean she couldn't get annoyed with him at times. Bellamy was out on a patrol so Nina took this as the perfect opportunity to join the training session today. Everyone had greeted her with smiles, telling her that they were glad she seemed to be feeling better. Nina quickly grabbed Harper for her sparring partner, seeing as she was her favorite, and the two began to spar. Nina suggested working on defensive moves and started going after Harper. Jabs and kicks here and there. Nothing too crazy. Harper was doing a great job dodging them, as that's all Nina wanted her to do at the moment. She promised that she would teach her how to turn a defensive move into an offensive move, just not right now. Nina was still warming up, having not been to a training session in over a week. She felt unbelievably great at the feeling of finally getting a physical release other than the sexcapades with Bellamy (insert sexual montage here). Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

The next few weeks, Bellamy had been spending a great deal of time, ensuring that Nina was well. Safe. Physically and emotionally. This pregnancy wasn't like the time his mother was carrying Octavia. Though he hadn't told anyone of it, the reasons for his silence were vastly different. There was no fear of anyone dying from this getting revealed. No need to sneak around, to lie, to steal. But the fear Bellamy felt was still crippling. He could lose Nina or the baby, in ways that he couldn't control. There could be a number of health complications or accidents that could affect either of them. It was why Bellamy had been diligent with her appointments.

Why he was educating himself, so that he was knowledgeable and better able to help her. Between this and his duties in the guard . . . the days were busy. He was returning from a patrol, deciding to stop at the training arena to see how the others were progressing. He had to ask one of the other guardsmen to take over the lesson since Bellamy had been tasked with a patrol instead. Otherwise, he would usually be the one training them. As he made his way into the arena, his eyes scanned over the crowd as he was greeted by the instructor.

But whatever pleasantries would have otherwise been exchanged, were set on hold. Bellamy's eyes rested on Nina, who was currently sparring with Harper. He reacted immediately. He wasn't about to make a scene in front of everyone, but nor was he going to appease her decision to spar. Anything could happen. Sparring commonly resulted in injuries. A kick to the stomach. A fall to the ground. Any number of things that could affect the child she carried. Once he got close enough to Nina and Harper, he spoke. "What the hell are you doing?" He demanded, his voice not raised but stern, gaze rested on Nina.

[Nina Eaton]

OR He'll say he's just not the same and you'll begin to wonder why you came Nina grinned at the blonde in front of her as she continued to block her moves. "Great job," she said to Harper. Nina was really proud of the progress Harper had made since they had started to train together. Attempting to train someone had been an uneasy idea for her at first, but it was something that came naturally to her. She was a good teacher and she enjoyed helping people train. It was probably one of her favorite things to do whenever she had some downtime. Not only did it help her release pent up energy, but it added to the security of the camp. Better trained guards meant a higher level of safety for everyone else. They sparred for about ten minutes and Nina realized that Harper wasn't quite putting everything into her kicks and punches. She knew that it was probably Harper's way of making sure she still felt okay and while the gesture was sweet, Nina couldn't help the feeling of annoyance that overcame her at knowing someone was going easy on her. It was a super nice gesture, she knew that, but Nina had always hated the idea of people going easy on her. But she kept her frustrations to herself, knowing that it wasn't Harper's fault and the fact that she wasn't going as hard was probably for the best considering Nina's current position.  She looked up to see Harper looking at someone behind her, an unreadable expression on her face. But before Nina could turn around to see what the girl was looking at, she felt a presence beside her. Bellamy. Oh, fuck. His tone of voice told her that he was beyond peeved at what she was doing. She knew it was a little stupid on her part but she had been going crazy not being able to train. Besides, she was being careful. When Nina finally looked at Bellamy she could see how unhappy he was with the sight in front of him. "Training with Harper," Nina said with a nonchalant tone. He didn't like making scenes and she knew that. Nina had no intention of leaving this training session. "That was a quick patrol," she noted, attempting to move the conversation elsewhere. She knew it was a futile attempt, but she made it nevertheless. Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy felt hurt, more than angry about what he saw before him. He had opened up to Nina, about what having a child meant. To him. What it could mean to both of them. And here she was, seemingly ignoring all the pleas and heartfelt emotional words he had shared with her. When would he learn, that opening up to others in such a way . . . making himself emotionally vulnerable, only resulted in the harsh dismissal of it. The unwillingness to give him any peace of mind. Clarke had done it. And he felt his heart ache at seeing Nina, here now, training and apparently ignoring all that he had asked her to do. To take care of herself.

To take care of the baby. Her answer to his question felt like a punch in the gut, strengthening the hurt he felt in this moment. He just looked at her, wondering how she couldn't see it. Then again, maybe she did and just didn't care. He swallowed, clenching his jaw as he tried to keep his emotions in check. He needed to rethink things, because he couldn't be around her all the time. He couldn't keep begging her to take care of herself and their baby.

He couldn't keep pleading with people, only to have them reject each plea. And he wondered if they ever knew . . . knew how much it hurt. Because if anything were to happen to that child, he would inevitably blame himself. "We need to talk," he said, still attempting to mask his emotions, his words coming out bluntly. He couldn't be around her 24/7 . . . and he found that seeing what she was doing now, was making it difficult to trust her that she would look after herself and their unborn child.

[Nina Eaton]

OR He'll say he's just not the same and you'll begin to wonder why you came Nina looked over at Bellamy, ready to say something about catching up with him later. But she stopped when she looked at him, looking at his face. He looked...unbelievably hurt. She felt her mouth go dry and she realized that she had seriously hurt him. She hadn't meant to; that had never been her intention. Nina had been antsy and bored. Her desire to get out and do something have overcome any considerations towards him and even the baby. She had intended to be careful while training but she knew it had been selfish of her. God, was she selfish. But Nina had never thought about someone else's feelings like this. Sure, her and Bellamy had been back together for a little bit but nothing like this had happened. Something was wrong with her and in that moment she felt irreparably broken. Broken for practically intentionally hurting the man she loved. She hadn't meant to, but at the same time she knew what she had been doing. There was a reason she had waited until he was out of camp. It was because she knew it was wrong and that it would hurt him. It would hurt him to know that she cared more about her physical need to train than the baby inside of her. It still wasn't really real to her, but she knew how real it was to him. She couldn't help but to think that this only proved that she wasn't ready to be a mom. She wouldn't be a good mom. She couldn't even think about Bellamy's feelings, so how was she supposed to make everything revolve around a child? Maybe it was her being stubborn. Nina felt a little trapped and cornered when she had told Bellamy about the pregnancy. Seeing how much she wanted it only told her that no matter what, things would never be the same between them. If she had decided to ignore his pleas and get rid of it, he never would have looked at her the same again. But how could she have a baby just to keep him with her? She felt like screaming from all the internal back and forths she was having with herself.  His words brought her back to reality and she closed her mouth, simply nodding at his request. She gave Harper a small wave goodbye before she followed Bellamy out of the training room. She folded her arms across her chest and pulled them in as close as she could. It was the only way she could stop herself from reaching out to Bellamy. She wanted to touch him and tell him that she was sorry but she was too afraid of him pulling away from her touch. Seeing that would kill her and she would rather beat herself up for what she had done than to feel the sting of his rejection. Once they entered their room, Nina leaned against the door, glancing down at her feet as she thought of what she should say. She knew she had to apologize but there needed to be more to it. Nina knew she had been a selfish bitch and she wasn't sure what to do with those emotions. Emotions had never been something she was good with in the first place, let alone with all the extra hormones. "I'm sorry," she finally said. She still didn't look up from her feet. "Clearly I'm a selfish bitch," she said with a scoff. "But I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose." Because she had seen the hurt in his eyes and it had killed her. Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Realization seemed to strike her as she agreed to speak with him now. He was partly relieved that he wouldn't have to convince her, but also knew that his tone left no space for this conversation to be put off. He turned and just walked out of training, not looking at anyone else, and letting them finish in their absence. The walk to their apartment was quiet, as Bellamy didn't want to say anything until they were inside. He didn't even want to engage in pleasantries right now.

Once they arrived and went in, Nina leaned against the door, and Bellamy slowly turned to face her when she finally spoke, immediately apologizing and then calling herself a selfish bitch. He never would have called her that of course, but he remained silent as she continued . . . saying that she never meant to hurt him on purpose. He waited, silence following her statement and when he could finally collect his thoughts, he vocalized them. "But you did," he said in a low voice, enough to be heard. "If you never meant to do it, then why wait until I was gone?" Why wait for him to leave on patrol? Because she knew he wouldn't like this idea. How could it not be intentional then? How could she not know that it would hurt him?

He didn't feel he had enough self worth to even make her care about him. He couldn't. That much was clear. He had poured his heart out to her, pleaded with her, believed they were on the same page with this baby . . . but they clearly weren't. "This isn't even just about me," he continued. He may not be worth enough for her to listen to, but he hoped the baby would be. "It's about the life growing inside of you that you endanger whenever doing something that could result in injury. An innocent life, that has no other choice but to grow inside of you." Accidents happened in training all the time, some more severe than others. Bellamy doubted Nina told them they were pregnant. And even if she did . . . anything could happen.

[Nina Eaton]

OR He'll say he's just not the same and you'll begin to wonder why you came She would have flinched at his words had she not prepared herself for them. She had hurt him; she knew that. Nina had never meant to hurt him but she had nevertheless. Her intentions didn't matter since her outcome had been the same. His point about her waiting for him to leave camp was a good one and she knew she had no excuse for that one. Nina bit the inside of her cheek as she thought about what to say. What could she even say? She supposed all she had was the truth, even if it was ugly. "I waited because I knew you wouldn't let me," she confessed. "I've been going insane not being able to do anything. I'm being forced to make all of these changes at once that I needed something that made me feel normal. That made me feel like myself." It was all selfish but she had already acknowledged that fact. This was about trying to get Bellamy to understand where she was coming from. She had already given up Jasper's moonshine and a few other things. But training? Training had been her escape for everything for as long as she could remember. So of course she had felt the ultimate desire to do some sort of training. The things he continued to point out only enforced the idea that she was selfish. She had endangered the life of their baby. She could have been hurt during training which could cause serious issues for the life growing inside of her. Hell, a bad enough injury could have even caused her to miscarry. Nina took a moment to think about how that idea made her feel. Did the idea of no longer carrying the child inside of her give her relief or give her fear? She realized that it was both. If she wasn't pregnant she could continue her life with how she was used to living it. But if she lost the baby then she was afraid that things between her and Bellamy would never be the same. Hell, that was a large reason as to why she had agreed to continue the pregnancy in the first place. Nina loved him so much that she couldn't stand the idea of not being with him. "I don't know what you want me to say," she said with a shrug. "This is how I feel. I know it's selfish and I'm sorry I hurt you. I would never want to hurt you. I love you too much to do something like that on purpose." She was always going to want her old life back. She was always going to want to do things that she could no longer do. Nina knew she wasn't showing it, but she loved Bellamy more than anything in the world. He was her world. But she felt like this baby had caused nothing but problems between the pair and she couldn't help but to feel a little resentment towards it.  Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Wouldn't let her. He had not wanted her to train, that was for certain. As he previously thought of, accidents happened. Anything could happen. Any slip, any unintentional attack, any forceful move with the intent to spar and train. Not knowing, that anything too aggressive could wound the baby. "I can't tell you what to do," he too acknowledged. He couldn't control her; he didn't want to. He didn't want her to this for him necessarily even.

Because . . . he now knew that she wouldn't. It wasn't for him. He was trying to appeal to her doing it for the baby. Maybe then, she would be more likely to think twice, to consider more before putting herself in a potentially dangerous situation. He listened to her explain that she was forced to make all these changes. And he understood, but only to the extent that a male could. He couldn't carry a child.

He couldn't lift what seemed like a burden to her off of her. He just remained silent, letting her finish, trying to collect his own thoughts. "I love you too," he told her, though that wasn't going to make anything better. But it felt impossible for him to hear it, without responding to it, not wanting there to be any doubt in those words. Hell, he felt this way because he loved it. It was always the people you loved that could hurt you the most.

"But . . . I leave for a short time, and you just . . . what, forget everything? Forget that you're carrying a baby? Willing to put yourself in harms way just cause you're bored?" His tone wasn't raised; he was more hurt than angry. "I know that this is a lot. That you have to think twice about everything you do. But . . . I thought we were in this together."

That was what he was led to believe based on their conversation where she revealed this news to him. Right now, he was struggling to trust her to leave her alone. To be able to go out and know that she would be safe; that she would take care of herself and the baby. "Things are different now, but they'll be a hell of a lot more different when the baby comes." And he needed to be able to trust her. So if she didn't want this baby, he needed to know now. He needed to try and determine what the next move would be.

[Nina Eaton]

OR He'll say he's just not the same and you'll begin to wonder why you came While he believed he couldn't tell her what to do, Nina knew that wasn't true. Bellamy held a power over her that she wouldn't even begin to try to comprehend. Perhaps it was because of the love she had for him or something along those lines. Nina had always been the type of girl to flip a guy off for telling her what to do, but with Bellamy, especially now, it was a little different. She had listened to his words a few weeks ago. She heard him every day tell her that he wanted her to be careful. But today was just a day her selfish mind got in the way of his caring words. Nina wasn't going to argue with Bellamy over this because she knew that he could tell her what to do. She knew that he had that power of her even though it may not seem it. The return of those three words sounded automatic from him in that moment. It sounded like he was saying them just to reassure her and it worried her a little. She felt like everything was going to come crashing down and it would ultimately be all her fault. She couldn't loose Bellamy but she didn't want to be one of those girls that changed everything just for a guy. She couldn't. But she knew she needed a serious wakeup call. She needed something to really snap her out of it. Bellamy's point of saying the baby was half of her and half of him had done the trick initially. It had helped her realize that what was inside of her was real. But it was like she was missing that next step. She had to figure out what it was or things were going to end badly. His words didn't make her feel any better but she knew that wasn't the point. This was a harsh wake up call and she hated it. He made it sound so much worse than she realized. His claim that she had done it because she was bored made it sound like she pushed someone off a cliff because she had been bored. It wasn't because she had been bored. It was because she felt like she wasn't herself. She felt unbelievably caged and she hated it. But she couldn't tell him that because she knew how hurt he would be. She knew that he would feel like she didn't care about any of this and she couldn't stand to see him hurt because of something she did. She had already seen it in this moment and desperately wanted it to end. "I don't know, Bellamy!" She exclaimed. Nina ran a hand over her face. "For the past few weeks my mind has not stopped running around. I've barely been sleeping and I can't focus on anything." She hated to complain but everything was just coming out before she could even think about it. "None of this is your fault so please don't blame yourself." Because she knew he blamed himself for practically everything. "But I am adjusting. I promise I won't pull another stunt like that because it breaks my heart to see you hurt like this." Especially at her own hands. "Because right now, you, are the most important thing in my life." Not the baby. Him. Because to Nina, the baby still didn't feel real. At least, not yet. Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He hated upsetting the people he loved. But at the same time, he couldn't hold back how he felt. Part of the beauty of being with someone, was the ability -- the necessity -- to be honest with them. To open yourself up, express what was in your heart. And at least she was doing so now. Even though what he had expressed to her and the ignoring of it was what had led them to where they were now. But he knew it wasn't done with malicious intent.

"Then what can I do?" He asked her. He was willing to do anything and everything to help. "What do you need from me Nina?" He further inquired. "I can't carry the baby for you. And I can't be around you 24/7, so tell me . . . what is it you need from me to make this easier?" Because he could no longer remain idle, leaving camp, thinking she would be alright and coming back to find out that she had broke under the stresses of having a child. What if next time, she did something more dangerous? He wanted to believe her now when she said that she wouldn't do anything . . . but at the same time, what if it just happened? He needed to give her motivation to not let it happen.

While her lastly spoken words made his heart swell with emotion, it also made it ache. Because he knew now that she still had not processed the reality of them having a baby. "You need to do this for the baby," he told her in a quiet voice. He didn't want to make her do anything for him. He couldn't ask anyone to do anything for him. "But if you need more time to accept it . . . " No. He was too scared to ask. Too scared to ask her to do it for him. All the times he had asked others before to do something for him, to stay for him for instance . . . they hadn't. He couldn't bare the potential disappointment, nor put Nina in that kind of position. "Then I'll do whatever I can." He ended up just linking the words back to reinforcing his earlier ones; of asking her what she needed him to do.

[Nina Eaton]

OR He'll say he's just not the same and you'll begin to wonder why you came The thing was, he couldn't do anything. She didn't need anything from him. This wasn't about him and her inability to consider his feelings. Nina was so overwhelmed with her own feelings about the baby that it was the only thing she had room to think about. If Bellamy had been doing something wrong or if he had been able to do something for her, then she would have told him. Nina had no problem letting Bellamy know what she needed from him because she knew he was someone who bent over backwards for the people he loved. But she knew he had a point. He couldn't be with her all of the time. And even if he could, she wouldn't let him. She knew the hovering would get on her nerves, as the small amount had already done so a few times. But she needed him to stop worrying. She didn't want him worrying every time he left camp because he was afraid she would go back on her word and practice training. But Nina didn't know what to say or do to make him believe her words. She had no idea as to how she could prove to him that she spoke the truth.  She shouldn't have been surprised by his words but that hadn't made them any easier to accept. She knew that she had to consider the baby. She couldn't continue to think of it as being not real. She couldn't keep that point of view until it popped out of her. Something had to change and while she knew it, she didn't know how to change it. She felt a tear sting her eye and she huffed in frustration. "Stupid fucking hormones," she mumbled to herself, bringing a hand up to quickly wipe the tear from her eye. Nina took a moment and closed her eyes, gathering her thoughts before she spoke again. She had to pick her words carefully.  "You need to know that I'm doing this for you," she began. "I'm doing this because I love you and because I know you want this baby so badly." She didn't mean to guilt him into thinking this was his fault, so she knew she had to change the direction of her speech. "If it weren't for you, for this baby being yours, there's no way I would even think about keeping it." Because Nina had never wanted children and while she still wasn't sold on the idea of motherhood, the only reason things had gone this far was because of Bellamy.  Then, she got an idea. Reaching forward, Nina grabbed his hand. "Come on," she said, tugging him out the door and down the hall. She had been searching for something to show him that this baby was real to her, even though it hadn't been yet. But this would hopefully help the both of them. It would be exactly what he needed and it would be what she needed. It would be the next step that she needed to take. Nina led Bellamy down halls and around corners until she walked into the medical bay with him. She spotted one of the doctors she saw and the woman spotted her. Nina didn't know where Abby was, but Lauren would be able to help all the same. "Hi Nina! Is everything okay?" Lauren asked, walking over to them. She nodded her head. "Yeah. Can you tell me...?" She trailed off and Lauren nodded before the girl finished her sentence. "It's a girl. Congratulations you two! But excuse me, I have to get back to a patient." Lauren offered a quick smile before leaving the pair alone. A girl. There was a baby girl growing inside of her. Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy didn't fail to notice the tear in her eye, but he couldn't soften his words either. They needed to talk about this, to figure out what the next step was; how to work through it. And her words . . . scared him. Rather than provide any reassurance, they made him feel more worried than ever. Realization that he couldn't do anything; that it was physically impossible for him to be around her all the time. And when he wasn't, he'd have to wonder if she was taking care of herself and the baby. He'd have to be worried about her being reckless, or starting training again. The words that expressed her love for him made his heart both swell and ache. He would be worrying about this entire pregnancy, just like he had with his mother's.

In a different kind fo intensity though. Bellamy clenched his jaw, trying to fight back the emotions, trying to keep his words controlled . . . knowing stress wasn't good for an expecting mother, but also, because he didn't want to intentionally lash out and hurt her. "I can't stop you from doing what you want to do." The words were more acknowledgement than anything else. Difficult acceptance . . . that his absence, could cost them their baby's life. Or from the sounds of it, his baby. Because she wouldn't keep it if it weren't for him. He could only hope that things would change once the baby came . . . but for right now, he would remain terrified throughout the entire pregnancy. Before the conversation could progress, she took his hand and he silently followed, making their way to medical, briefly conversing with the doctor and revealing that they would be having a girl.

That . . . was a truly touching revelation. A daughter. Yet this very revelation, tainted by the fear of Nina's lacking desire for a child. And what they could result in. Bellamy wasn't sure he could speak, unknowing how to react to all this. They knew they were having a daughter. But the joy of it was something Bellamy would have to keep hidden. Unshared by the woman he loved. The woman who was carrying the baby. "Still not real for you?" Bellamy questioned, his voice almost bitter, though thick with emotion at the same time. The inquiry almost rhetorical, as he tried to process everything. "I don't want you to do this for me. I want you to do this for her. And until you love her like I do, I . . . don't know what to do." How to keep her safe. How to keep both of them safe.

[Nina Eaton]

OR He'll say he's just not the same and you'll begin to wonder why you came Nina didn't know how to feel. She heard the words leave Lauren's mouth and she understood them but she wasn't sure if she actually understood them. She was going to have a little girl. A little girl that Bellamy would spoil and annoy because he would keep all of the boys away from her. She could picture Bellamy with a little girl and that's what she had to do right now because that's all she could picture. She was still having a hard time seeing herself as a mom but seeing Bellamy with a little girl that looked like the two of them was easy. Nina knew that at some point she would be able to add herself into that picture but she just didn't know when that would happen.  The sound of a bitter statement leaving his lips pulled her from her thoughts. Nina had brought him here to give him something she thought he would enjoy, something that would make him happy. But he sounded bitter and it honestly hurt her. But she knew she couldn't really complain about him hurting her because it had been apparent that she had hurt him already. This was just what she deserved for being so selfish and she hated it. Nina inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself down and get rid of her feelings. This was a mess and she had been trying to do the right thing. But she guessed it didn't really matter because in the end Bellamy was still hurt by her actions. She couldn't look at him as he continued to speak because she knew she would break down. Her stomach felt like an empty pit and she felt her anxiety building. Within his words she heard some sort of unspoken ultimatum. If she didn't get her shit together soon then he would probably leave her, unable to handle her reckless actions and lack of love for their unborn child. Nina knew he hadn't spoken those words but she was smart enough to read between the lines. Was this going to be their relationship from now on? Back and forth arguing and resentment? Nina felt as if the medical bay was closing in on her and she felt like she was going to have a panic attack at any moment. "Okay, Bellamy," she said softly before dropping his hand and quickly turning to leave the medical bay.  Nina didn't know if Bellamy was following her or not but she couldn't afford to give it much thought. She had to focus on her breathing and making sure she was taking oxygen in and releasing it. Nina walked as quickly as she could back down the hall and towards the room she shared with Bellamy. It was strange how the smallest amount of relief washed over her once she made it inside. Nina crawled onto the bed and sat with her back against the wall, sitting up as straight as she could to clear the airways to her lungs. She closed her eyes and focused on breathing. In through her nose, out through her mouth.  Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Nina Eaton

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy watched as Nina hurriedly left. He knew that his presence could potentially make things worse, and she needed to rest. Taking a quick glance around medical, he exited, debating whether to go back to their room or not, but his earlier thoughts quickly convincing him not to. It was best to give her a moment alone. To collect her thoughts. This was not how he wanted the pregnancy to happen. He didn't want to be at odds with her; to have this tension with her. If it was bad now, he could only imagine how much more tense it would get when the baby actually came.

Which was why he was determined to do everything he could to figure out . . . what exactly they needed to do. To make this work. He wasn't about to give up on either of them, but he also knew that this was a massive adjustment. One that would intensify when the baby was actually born. Bellamy returned to the rest of his duties, finishing quickly so that he could call it a semi early night and make sure Nina was ok. By the time he returned to their apartment, she was asleep.

Bellamy removed his shirt, changing into a loose part of pants, and climbing into bed next to her. He peered over her, just to make sure she was alright, before placing a light kiss on her temple, making sure not to jostle her or the bed. With that, he wrapped his arm around her, the front of his body pressed against her back, and held her from this angle. Closing his eyes, he tried to force his mind to ease into the lull of sleep . . . though he wasn't sure he was successful. Sleep would not be easy to come by tonight, but it was enough that he wasn't aware of the time as each hour passed by until morning.

[Nina Eaton]

OR He'll say he's just not the same and you'll begin to wonder why you came It didn't take long for Nina to fall asleep. Once she had calmed down she curled into a fetal position and tried not to think about anything at all. She eventually stretched out on the bed and pulled herself under the covers to fall asleep. Nina wasn't sure if Bellamy would even come back to their room but she had to just let her mind rest. She could deal with Bellamy in the morning if he even wanted to speak with her.  Nina woke up in the middle of the night and she felt Bellamy's arm wrapped around her. A soft sigh left her lips and she realized it was relief. It made her feel better to know that she hadn't completely screwed everything up. If he had come back then that meant he still love her a little bit, or had at least only returned because of the baby. Nina carefully took herself out of Bellamy's arms and walked to the bathroom. It wasn't until she stood back up and turned around to flush the toilet that she felt her stomach drop. There was blood in the toilet. She felt herself go pale and her hand reached out to steady herself, holding onto the wall. Nina gasped in fear and her hand covered her mouth to suppress a sob. She didn't know how much blood was really there since it was in the water and it looked worse. But blood was blood. She didn't know much but she knew that blood while pregnant was not good. "Bellamy!" She yelled. There was fear in her voice and she hoped her scream had been loud enough to wake him. Then again, she felt like it was loud enough to wake people in the next room over. No, no, no. This couldn't be happening. Nina felt responsible and she hated it. She felt like her lack of care for this baby had killed it and she wanted it back. She wanted her child back. Bellamy Blake