Use Me, Don't Abuse Me

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy wanted to build the moment more. Wanted to have Jasper come at least once before he did this. But he also wanted to give what Jasper articulated. Taking a deep breath, Bellamy moved behind him, positioning himself on his knees behind Jasper. He spit into his hand and started to coat his cock, wetting himself as much as he could until he was slick enough to enter. His hands went to either side of the cheeks on his rear, slightly parting them as he tucked his member in between.

He paused though, not yet entering him fully. Just slowly starting to press inside. His hand slid up Jasper's back, before skimming his chest and then reaching to wrap around his cock, gripping him but not yet stroking. Bellamy's lips moving along the back of Jasper's neck, moving closer to his ear. "This is what you want?" He both asked and stated, as if needing him to confirm it again.

He usually asked his partners if it was their first time, wanting to make the moment comfortable for them, but he feared the question would trigger the loss of Maya . . . the loss of someone he loved and thus, not able to further explore this level of intimacy. Bellamy's hand started moving over Jasper's member, stroking him with a steady pace as his own cock started to slip deeper and deeper into Jasper, his tightness answering Bellamy's unspoken question.

[Deleted]

Jasper heard Bellamy spit, and then Bellamy was pressing against him, slowly pushing in. Jasper's breathing sped as the slightly painful pressure started to increase, but when Bellamy asked if this was what he wanted, he nodded, lowering his hand from his cock to brace against the bed. Fortunately, it was replaced quickly by Bellamy's hand.

Jasper gasped, tensing as the head of Bellamy's cock slipped past his entrance. It did hurt, and tensing up probably didn't help, but it had been automatic. Jasper dropped to his elbows, pressing his face to the mattress, his hands balling up in the sheets on Bellamy's bed as Bellamy sank deeper. Bellamy stroking his cock helped a little, a little distraction, but it wasn't quite enough yet. By the time Bellamy stopped, fully inside Jasper, Jasper realized he was starting to feel lightheaded from gasping into the mattress, so he turned his head a little trying to catch his breath, trying to focus on Bellamy's hand so he could relax into this.

Tag: Bellamy Blake
NOTE: 100TH POST!

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy knew Jasper wasn't relaxed, and couldn't blame him for it either. He still recalled his first time with a guy and he'd done the same thing. Ironically, Bellamy had also been drunk that night . . . but for very different reasons. Bellamy squeezed his eyes shut, forcing restraint so that he didn't just start pumping into Jasper. Thus, allowing him to grow used to his size and the feel of his cock buried inside of him . . . though he knew the discomfort wouldn't entirely ebb until the pleasure grew. Still, Bellamy wanted to give him a moment. He hunched his upper body lower Jasper, his lips dragging along the back of his neck, sucking on it for a moment before speaking.

"Relax," he urged in a low voice. The more he tensed and clenched, the more painful it would be. With Jasper's head turned to the side, Bellamy angled his so that he could kiss Jasper's lips. With that slight distraction, Bellamy slowly withdrew, not all the way, before pushing back into him. And then repeating the action of slow, drawn out thrusts. He groaned in the kiss with pleasure, as his hand started to stroke Jasper more quickly, purposefully, wanting him to come throughout this process. 

[Deleted]

The way Bellamy draped himself over Jasper's body, the weight of him, felt nice, and then Bellamy was sucking the back of his neck. Jasper focused his attention on what felt good. Bellamy's weight, Bellamy's mouth, the hand on his cock, stroking. He didn't bother responding when Bellamy told him to relax. When Bellamy kissed him, Jasper turned his head a little more to more easily kiss him back, moaning softly at the feel of Bellamy's tongue against his.

When Bellamy started too move, Jasper gasped and tensed again, making a small noise of discomfort against Bellamy's lips. But this time, he breathed into the kiss and forced himself to relax. He unballed his fists from the sheets, flattening his hands, hoping it would signal the rest of his body to relax too. And maybe it did, because a few slow thrusts later, Jasper moaned into Bellamy mouth. The discomfort was fading gradually as Bellamy's hand and mouth started flooding his body with pleasure. "More," he breathed against Bellamy's lips, whimpering as his body started chasing the pleasure, needing it.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy could feel his body start to slightly relax. His shoulders easing a little when he unclenched his hands from the sheets, his moaning against Bellamy's lips. And then his words of encouragement, asking for more. Bellamy was all too willing to comply. With Jasper's encouragement, Bellamy continued to move inside of him, each thrust getting stronger as his free hand moving to Jasper's waist to pull him back as Bellamy' push his own hips forward. Thus, helping Jasper to meet with each of his thrusts. Breathy grunts started to escape Bellamy as his kept his lips hovered near Jasper's, kissing him again briefly, before trailing along his jaw line and nipping at his chin. His hand over his cock moved faster, feeling it swell more and more.

"You feel so good," he breathed against Jasper's cheek, not sure if he wanted to hear him talk or needed any vocal acknowledgement over how damn good it felt to be inside of him. Bellamy continued to push harder and harder within him, staying mindful of the fact that it was Jasper's first time, but also wanting to give him what he asked for. And what Bellamy now needed. What each thrust strove for as he moved deeper inside his friend. "Come," he said in a continued low voice, encouraging him to reach his peak to help drown out some of the pain, his hand gripping him firmly with each stroke.

[Deleted]

There was a slightly renewed tension when Bellamy started to move more steadily, giving Jasper what he'd asked for, but this time Jasper was a little better prepared and was able to relax again more quickly. By the time Bellamy was pulling his hips back to meet each thrust, any pain or discomfort his felt was largely overwhelmed by pleasure. Bellamy's hand was sending his need soaring, and the kisses and nips along jaw and chin felt so good. Jasper reached a hand back to fist his fingers into Bellamy's hair, keeping him where he was.

Jasper moaned in response to Bellamy telling him he felt good. He could already tell Bellamy was enjoying this by his grunts as he thrust, but the confirmation sent a thrill through Jasper. "Yes," he panted. When Bellamy told him to come, it was so fucking hot for some reason, and it sent Jasper over the edge, almost as if Jasper's body was obeying Bellamy's command. How the fuck did Bellamy do that? Jasper came hard, moaning against Bellamy's mouth as his orgasm shook his body, clenching around Bellamy in a way that actually felt good this time.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Jasper's grip on Bellamy's hair and words of enjoyment, helped assure the older male that Jasper found the pleasure was outweighing the pain. Bellamy kept his head where it was, panting heavily against Jasper's cheek, his tongue gliding along his jaw line for a moment, while his hand moved over him. It wasn't long until he said that word, that Jasper actually came, spilling himself over Bellamy's hand. The awareness of it, made Bellamy thrust a little harder in Jasper, now that he was clouded with the haze of his orgasm. Bellamy needed to reach his. He kept stroking Jasper's cock, coating him with his own release as he did so. His clenching helped keep Bellamy in place inside of him, as he thrust harder and harder, deeper and deeper.

"I'm close," he groaned against Jasper's skin, his lips locking onto his once more. Everything about his body's reaction indicated this was his first time, and he knew the sensation would be unfamiliar, so felt the need dto offer some warning. It only took a few more vigorous thrusts, and a final grunt of pleasure, before Bellamy released himself deep within Jasper's ass. The overwhelming euphoric aftermath of it all consuming. Bellamy's shoulders relaxed, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. His hand on Jasper's member fell limply to the bed, Bellamy's face buried in the crook of Jasper's neck for a few moments as he just attempted to regain his composure from the strength of the orgasm.

[Deleted]

Through the haze of orgasm, Jasper almost couldn't control the noises he was making as Bellamy continued to pound into him, hard and deep. It was like Bellamy was pushing the sounds of pleasure out of him with each thrust. His body was too tingly now, with Bellamy's hand still stroking his spend cock, slick with his own come. He could probably get hard again in a few minutes, but right now Bellamy's hand was only drawing out the pleasure of his orgasm, keeping him in a heightened state of arousal as Bellamy fucked him.

Bellamy said he was close, and then a few thrusts later, Jasper felt Bellamy's release flood him. "God, Bellamy," he moaned into Bellamy's mouth, his fingers tightening in Bellamy's hair as he demanded another kiss. When Bellamy relaxed against his back, breathing hard against Jasper's neck, Jasper tried to catch his own breath too. Everything felt amazing, and Jasper didn't really want to move, but eventually he relaxed his hand in Bellamy's hair, allowing Bellamy to pull back.

He made a small noise of discomfort as Bellamy pulled out of him, but the feel of some of Bellamy's release trickling out of him was new, and somehow really sexy. Jasper rolled over on his back, his body limp, eyes closed. He'd have to clean himself up before getting dressed again, but he couldn't think about that right now. Everything still felt too good. "Thank you," he panted, still short of breath.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Feeling Jasper's hold ease, Bellamy started to draw his head back slowly. He carefully pulled out of Jasper, feeling the loss of his warmth, but knew that it would be easier to relax and fully bask in both their orgasms. When Jasper turned to lie on his back, Bellamy did the same, falling onto his back next to Jasper. Bellamy closed his eyes for a moment, just working on taking deep breaths, letting everything settle a bit, but damn. That had been good.

Jasper's words of gratitude caused the older male to turn his head to look at him. He wanted to ask him if it helped -- just as he had with Raven. He wanted to ask if he felt better. If he was ok. But he feared all these questions would just abruptly pull him out of this haze that made Jasper more at ease. That made him feel something other than pain, at least temporarily.

Knowing that Bellamy could help with that . . . made him want to do whatever he could to aid Jasper in savoring it. So Bellamy just swallowed, his hand moving to Jasper's hair, running his fingers through it. "You can stay here for as long as you want to. Or need to." Whether it was an hour, or through the night. Because Bellamy knew that needs and wants could be two very different things. And Bellamy wanted to assure Jasper that he didn't have to rush off . . . that if he found even a semblance of peace, however brief, however surface level it was . . . then he could prolong it. Here, with him.

[Deleted]

Jasper sucked in a breath when Bellamy's hand went into his hair, a slightly pained expression crossing his face even as he turned his head into Bellamy's hand even more. Maya had loved playing with his hair. Jasper loved having his hair played with. It felt good when Bellamy did it, but it also made Jasper's chest ache a little. He shouldn't let himself enjoy this.

He should cut all his fucking hair off.

He lifted his hand to rest the back of it against Bellamy's chest, brushing his fingers against Bellamy's skin just barely. Not Maya. Definitely not Maya. "I won't stay long," he murmured, eyes still closed. The alcohol was starting to wear off, he realized now that he was still, and he wondered how long ago that had happened. He temporarily resisted the urge to go get his pants to chug the rest of the bottle in his back pocket.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy wondered just how selfish it was to derive some comfort from Jasper's touch; from all of this. He knew he couldn't let his own feelings show -- especially in front of Jasper -- but, he couldn't help but bask in this human contact. The craving for it so damn strong. Wanting to hold onto something, to someone. To remind him that he had not lost all of his humanity, even if he was a monster. But . . . there was that strong awareness that this wasn't about him.

That he had made decisions that he had to suffer the consequences of. Jasper, hadn't. He was a victim of those choices that Bellamy had made. He owed him more than he could ever give; depriving him of what happiness Jasper had found in this world. Bellamy leaned forward, lightly kissing the corner of Jasper's mouth, before looking at him. "You could stay the night," he offered. He could, not should. Bellamy knew that he was in no position of telling Jasper what he should and shouldn't do.

He couldn't command him, or act like he knew what was best for him. That had been Clarke's mistake with the others. But, he wanted the offer to be there. He wanted to have Jasper stay here the night, so that he could make sure he was alright. So that he didn't have to see him passed out drunk anywhere else. So that he could further help him however he could. Yes, he wanted him to spend the night . . . but knew he couldn't make him stay. Bellamy wasn't enough to even make Clarke stay.

[Deleted]

The kiss to the corner of Jasper's mouth surprised him into opening his eyes to frown at Bellamy in confusion. Should they still be kissing now that their needs had been met? "Probably shouldn't," Jasper said. He knew there wasn't enough booze left in his bottle to get him through the night, and he doubted Bellamy was the right person to try to comfort him if he woke up in the middle of the night in a blind panic. "So unless you want a round two..." Jasper suggested, sitting up with a groan. Whether Bellamy did or didn't was up to Bellamy. Jasper was more than okay with staying for more sex. Or leaving.

He padded across the room to his pants, tugging the bottle out of his back pocket and heading for Bellamy's bathroom. He relieved his bladder while tilting the bottle back and taking several large gulps of moonshine. When he was finished, he came back out and leaned against the bathroom door frame, waiting for Bellamy's response, his expression blank.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy listened to Jasper speak about round two before he got up, and went to the bathroom. Bellamy just lay in the bed, looking up at the ceiling for a few moments before Jasper came back out. Leaning against the threshold, expressionless. Bellamy sat in an upright position, part of the blanket covering the lower half of his body. Not that he needed to considering what they had just done.

"Tonight is about what you want or need, Jasper." It wasn't about what Bellamy wanted. His life seldom was. He lived for others, and tonight, he was here for Jasper, inclusive of whatever that entailed. "So you tell me. What can I do?" To help him. To make him feel whatever he wanted to feel when he first came into his room. To help him get through the night. Bellamy would be that for him. It was what his life was devoted to: the original 100, and his people.

[Deleted]

Jasper stood in the doorway watching Bellamy for a long moment, vaguely wondering if he should cover up like Bellamy had, but deciding he didn't care. The hand clutching the bottle in front of him was covering his scar, a sure sign the alcohol had started wearing off before, but otherwise... what difference did it make?

When Bellamy spoke, Jasper shook his head, rolling his eyes a little. Then he huffed a unhappy laugh and downed what was left in his bottle. "What do you think you are, Bellamy? Customer service?" He pressed the back of his hand to the bridge of his nose, wishing the newly swallowed alcohol would kick in so he didn't have to think about this or care about it. "I'm not a client."

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy silently watched Jasper as he continued to drink. Apparently his actions hadn't been that helpful at all. Apparently, he still needed the alcohol, despite the aftermath of their coupling. Bellamy waited for him to finish, the younger male evidently annoyed with him; sarcastically quipping at him for his statement. "First thing you told me was that you didn't want to talk." And Bellamy was going to respect that. He knew that saying the wrong thing could trigger him, could cause a reaction that he didn't want his friend to have to suffer.

"If you want to drink until you pass out, that's up to you. If you want to go again, then stop drinking, and come back to bed." That was all there was to it. Bellamy wasn't going anywhere -- not only because it was his room, but because he was still lying in bed. Still ready to go for another round if Jasper was. His words not meant as an order, but suggestion . . . options. And Bellamy supposed he was going to find out whatever was more enticing to Jasper. "So what's it gonna be?" He asked him directly, sitting up a bit more. "I know which one I prefer," he added on, giving a slightly disapproving look at the alcoholic beverage he was downing, having a feeling that once he ran out . . . he would just go on the search for more. But once again, Bellamy knew it wasn't about his personal preference.