It's Where My Demons Hide

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: ashbeee

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

It had been close. Too close. Charlotte was willing to take her own life if it would make the fighting stop. But Bellamy wasn't willing to let her make that sacrifice. Instinct took over, and he felt a strong compulsion to protect her. She was one of the youngest -- if not youngest -- delinquents here and growing up on the Ark with a younger sister . . . well, he felt those same instincts take over when it came to Charlotte. So he had managed to stop her, and they all went back to camp to figure things out. But everything was intense. Emotions were high.

The others were more willing to execute John Murphy than a child; hell, Bellamy had been the same way. He had said it before and continue to think it . . . if only Clarke had kept her mouth shut. It was easier to blame the Grounders and allow others to perceive them as the enemies, rather than each other. But alas, things had not worked out that way and now they had to make do with the current circumstances. Bellamy had gotten Charlotte to go into his tent for her own protection, while he stood outside of it to converse with Clarke and the others. There was still justice for Wells that needed to be had, but Bellamy's primary concern and priority, was Charlotte's safety. The others could turn on her and he didn't want that to happen.

And so, he proposed a sort of house arrest so to speak. For her own protection as well. She could remain in the dropship, limiting her interactions with the others and this way, they could make sure no one tried to take the law into their own hands. Once it was decided, Bellamy wanted to be the one to tell her and take her there . . . because like hell he was going to let her spend the night alone after everything. Making his way into his tent to see her, he closed closer to her, his expression a little softer than the one he often wore with the others. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he lowered himself to her eye level. "You ok?" He asked, genuine concern in his voice. She had been through a hell of a lot, and he wanted to check in with her to see how she was holding up, before he had to tell her what the verdict was.

[ashbeee]

Charlotte was sat in the tent on a chair staring down at the ground. What has she got herself into? Out of fear tears were settled in her eyes and a frown upon her face like she was about to cry. Her heart was pounding as she looked round from left to right, the only thing that was keeping her safe was this tent. she could have just easily saved herself and everyone else the trouble by ending it all but it was never that easy. she was hunched over and her arms keeping her up, Charlotte didn't know what to do. Everything she has done hasn't helped anyone but in fact made it worse. She hated herself after what she did, killing wells, she could have just kept her mouth shut and let John Murphy die but she couldn't let that happen. What happened to the right thing? it hasn't gotten her anywhere but stuck in a tent with people outside waiting to kill her. 

She looked up for a second as she saw at the corner of her eye someone enter, her face was alerted and terrified for a moment, it could have been anyone. She quickly realized it was only Bellamy and continued to watch as he walked over, she expected him to be more angry than the softer face expression he entered with. she stayed where she was and looked at him still with her shiny watery eyes. " Why did you stop me? This is all my fault, i killed someone and i almost got another person killed "  she said with a shaky voice. Charlotte didn't know what to do, she couldn't just live in a tent forever and its not exactly the best protection. At least Bellamy was seen as the leader around here and nobody was really going to go against him, otherwise things would have ended differently. She would have much rather taken her own life and end all the fighting rather than be saved and probably killed later.   

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: ashbeee

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy felt responsible for what happened. He had given advice, not fully thinking how it could be interpreted. The delinquents had been through so damn much already . . . and fueling any sort of trauma, clearly had backfired in his intentions. He felt his heart ache at her words, believing she deserved to die. Bellamy knew all too well what it was to take a man's life; he had assassinated the Chancellor after all. But this, felt different. This was different. She was just a kid. He knew that telling her she didn't deserve to die, would only make everything seem hypocritical . . . considering they had been ready to kill Murphy. Even if he firmly believed that she didn't deserve death, he wasn't about to be called out for any contradiction.

"You said that no one else needs to die because of you." On the cliff, right before he had stopped her. "Well, that includes yourself too." Because he wasn't just going to let her die, believing that she deserved it when she didn't. "We've all done things, Charlotte." If it hadn't been her who killed Wells, then someone else surely would have. Jaha Junior would never have a second chance like the others; he was surrounded by a bunch of criminals who blamed his father for any loved ones that had died, or even what had happened to them. It was only a matter of time. "But taking your own life, isn't gonna make anything better." He had stopped her once, but he knew that she could try again . . . which was why he needed to reach out to her to change her mind about it, since he wasn't always going to be there to physically stop her.

[ashbeee]

She looked away for a moment, Bellamy had a point. What she said earlier about no else needs to die, it included her as well in Bellamy's eyes. Charlotte agreed on some parts, he was right, we all have done something and some of the other delinquents have murdered someone too. wells wasn't going to last long anyway but she still regretted it.  Like Bellamy told her 'slay your demons' she couldn't handle just living on the ground with Wells. All she pictured in her mind was Jaha's face and wells was his son, how else could she deal with it? Jaha was the reason she was here and her parents were dead. He also had another point about her ending her life not making anything better, Charlotte agreed but other people probably won't think the same. 

she looked back to Bellamy. " If i go out there then they're gonna hurt me " she said with a worried tone as she looked at the entrance of the tent before looking back at Bellamy. Charlotte was only small compared to everyone else, she couldn't exactly defend herself that well and they all wanted justice after her actions. At this point she was feeling overwhelmed, the only safe place right now was a tent. her tears were not running but still settled on her eyes, Charlotte was just going through the thoughts of having to deal with it at some point and what happened earlier. the only people who really protected her was Clarke and Bellamy, everyone else wants her dead. What if Bellamy gave her up to them in the end? 

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: ashbeee

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy could of course understand Charlotte's fears. But he also wanted to assure her that he wasn't going to stand by and let anything happen to her. "Hey," he began in a strongly sincere voice, making eye contact with her. As he was crouched in front of her, he placed a hand on her knee, looking intently at her. "I'm not gonna let that happen," he stated confidently. "No one is going to hurt you." Not so long as he was here and he had something to say about it.

Between him and Clarke, they could protect her. "We're going to move you to the upper level of the drop ship," he began to tell her. "You'll be safe there." Well, safer than out here in a flimsy tent. Even if it was his tent, there was no gurantee that one of the disgruntled delinquents wouldn't try something. "Come on," he said, rising to his feet. "Let's go get your stuff." He would be with her every step of the way. Hell he was too worried to let her out of his sight for even a second.

[ashbeee]

Charlotte looked at Bellamy and listened carefully. She felt more reassured in Bellamy's confidence. Her tears were less now and she was still worried but she was at least  assured that she was safer. " thanks, Bellamy " she said quietly with a small smile. All Charlotte wanted to do now was stay in this tent, it felt like the only safe place for her right now. She heard Bellamy mention about moving her to the upper level of the drop ship, the idea of being locked up in there wasn't exactly great but at this time it wasn't the worst place to be. 

She couldn't argue with the idea, it was a good idea, but how long would she have to stay there? She stood up and nodded when Bellamy spoke about getting her stuff. " ok " she sighed, the drop ship was going to be very boring there. She was then again slightly nervous about leaving the tent but she wasn't as fearful as before. At least Bellamy was here instead of someone else otherwise when it came down to leaving the tent it wouldn't take much for someone to say something stand up. She thought about her stuff, what important stuff did she have? She felt like she wasn't going to have much time getting her stuff so she had to think about what she would need. Then the thought clicked back into her mind about leaving the tent. As she was stood she then waited for Bellamy to go out first and then she would go. She swallowed and took a deep breathe before she would step outside the tent. 

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: ashbeee

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy held open the tent flap for her when she was ready to step out, immediately following her and positioning himself right next to Charlotte. His hand casually rested on her back, his gaze intent on their destination, warning off anyone who may try something. He could feel the gazes on them, on her, but ignored it . . . not about to bring more attention to everything than need be.

Once they got to her tent, Bellamy once again opened the flap for her and held it open while he waited at the entrance of the tent. His eyes briefly scanned inside of it to make sure that no one was in here waiting for her to come. "Grab your stuff and lets go," he told her, continuing to hold open the fabric, his eyes moving forward to the rest of the camp in preparation for those who may possibly oppose his decision.

[ashbeee]

Charlotte walked out of the tent entrance nervously, she quickly peered her eyes on all the faces walking by. She looked behind her to make sure Bellamy was with her and then carried on her way as she walked next to him. she kept her eyes locked onto her tent they were heading to it to grab her stuff. She could tell that eyes were layed upon them both as they walked. She then glanced round to look at everyone again. they weren't staring but it was uncomfortable to be around. Charlotte looked up at Bellamy, he seemed to be occupied with making sure no one came over, thankfully.

As they reached her tent Charlotte entered as Bellamy held the tent entrance open for her. She was cautious to enter but luckily no one was in there. Quickly she thought of what could she bring, maybe just only the stuff that was important to her. She didn't have all day to grab everything. Charlotte walked over to get her small bag that was more or less just a rucksack, she didn't know what was in there but she was sure it had everything that she landed with in it. Finally she grabbed her mothers necklace that she managed to keep away from the guards as they were clearing out her parents room on the Ark. She quickly put it in her coat pocket before turning around to exit the tent. " ok, i've got everything " she said as she dipped her head to exit. She stood next to Bellamy and looked at the ground as they were about to make their way to the drop ship. " How long will i have to stay there? " she asked. She didn't really look forward to the fact of staying in the drop ship, what if it was going to be for a long time? what would she do in that time? Her shoulders were almost making her like she was hunched over a little, purely out of nervousness of standing out here among everyone else. 

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: ashbeee

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Once she was ready and exited the tent, Bellamy resumed his position right next to her, once again, placing his hand on her back as they made their way toward the drop ship. She asked him a question that he didn't have a clear answer to. While this was for her own protection, it was also to serve as some justice for what happened with Wells; to show the others that they couldn't go around and kill people. They had to find a balance, and this seemed to be their only option right now.

"I don't know," he answered truthfully. He'd rather Charlotte hear it from him than someone else anyway, and he wasn't going to lie or sugar coat the truth. Once they reached the drop ship, he waited for her to go inside before he followed suit, aware that he should probably give a more detailed answer to the question. "With everything going on, this is the best option, for all of us, including you." Holding out his hand expectantly he continued. "Hand me your pack," he offered, so that she could climb up the ladder with more ease. He would continue the conversation up there, and fully explain to her what was going on.

[ashbeee]

Charlotte walked into the drop ship with an unhappy face, now that she was here she wasn't really leaping for joy about her stay when Bellamy answered her question. she nodded in response after his reply. Now that she thought about it this was kind of a punishment while at the same time for her own good. At least he was truthful about his answer. Charlotte still completely regretted about what she had done, not only was it affecting her but it was affecting everyone. Bellamy would probably have to deal with everyone's looks and questions outside and tensions would be high.

Charlotte looked up at the ladder leading to the upper level of the drop ship. She sighed at the sight of the place she could just about see where the ladder lead to. she hasn't really been in the drop ship for a while, not after their landing, but being here was not bringing back good memories. Then again this place was the safest place to be right now, compared to that flimsy tent outside. She quickly snapped her head round when Bellamy offered for her pack. She handed it to him and proceeded to climb up the ladder.

Once in the room on the highest floor  she stood and looked around to examine the room, it wasn't much but was familiar to her cell on the Ark. She walked over to sit down on the floor and lean her back against the wall with her arms wrapped around her legs. She didn't take her bag back from Bellamy, she trusted him enough to put it down somewhere. " i didn't want to kill Wells " she said as she looked at the ground " Every night i saw his father's face and i just couldn't ... i couldn't even wake up without seeing Wells' after " she said as she glanced at Bellamy for a moment before looking back at the ground. She wasn't crying but she was certainly building up to it in her voice. The images of her Parents were just flashing back to her, she was trying now to block the thought away but she couldn't help it.  

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: ashbeee

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

When Charlotte climbed up the ladder, Bellamy gave another glance toward the drop ship's door before he followed. Once at the top, he closed the latch and covered it with something so that it would not be so easily opened from anyone trying to get in from the bottom. He listened as Charlotte began to speak of how she hadn't wanted to kill Wells . . . how she had seen his father's face. She certainly wasn't alone in that. Bellamy set her pack to the side and pulled a small bundle of cloth from his own pack, and a blanket for her. He moved to sit down next to her, his back against the wall with his legs out.

He proceeded to put the blanket over her so that it would provide her with some warmth before just casually sitting there, starting to unwrap the bundle of cloth he had to reveal some food. She hadn't eaten in who knows how long. He extended it to her to take. "You're not the only one who sees his face," Bellamy assured her. "A lot of people here blame the Chancellor for what happened to their family or them." Bellamy sure as hell did . . . and he had shot him.

Bellamy supposed it gave something horrible in common with Charlotte: they both killed a Jaha. "Wells was threatened the second he stepped out of that dropship." Bellamy wasn't justifying the murder, but he also knew that the kid wouldn't have lasted long with how many wanted him dead. Bellamy turned his head to look at her. "You gotta live with what you've done Charlotte, and it's not going to be easy." Bellamy knew that all too well. "But I can promise, that you won't be alone." Because he would be here for her, to help her as best he could.

[ashbeee]

Charlotte made herself more comfortable as Bellamy put the blanket around her. She noticed that he was handing her some food, It quickly reminded her that she hadn't actually eaten in a while and come to think of it she was hungry. Charlotte reached her hand out to grab the food, she smiled in thanks for the offer, she put the food to the side of her for now until she felt like she needed to eat it despite the fact she was hungry already. She listened to him as he spoke about how everyone was basically in the same boat as her when it came to blaming the chancellor and seeing his face. To be honest everyone had their own story and Charlotte's wasn't that different from most people here.

" nothing's really that easy anymore " she sighed, life on the Ark never prepared anyone for what they were facing down here. As free as it felt, it certainly wasn't as great as it was at first, particularly now at this point. She smiled softly when he said that she wouldn't go through it alone. Even though life was easier on the Ark she didn't have anyone to help her through it, what Bellamy said meant a lot to her. The thought crossed her mind about how Charlotte always seemed to be needing someone around to protect her but at some point she wouldn't have that luxury of someone being there to protect her. " Could you teach me how to fight? so i can defend myself " she looked at Bellamy sat next to her. Charlotte wanted to learn, it seemed that nearly everyone in the camp knew or was working on how to fight. The route she was heading now wasn't going to help either but learning would pass the time of being locked up here. Even after her time here she would appreciate it, just something to do instead of following instructions to help build. " i want to be able to help, like if we go hunting  " she added to her question. All she wanted to do was to make it up to everyone by actually going out of camp and helping. She wasn't completely sure of what was out there apart from a huge forest and the dead animals people bring back to camp but she wanted to be apart of that. 

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: ashbeee

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

That much was true. Nothing was easy. The Ark had basically sent them down here to die. Because even if radiation didn't kill them . . . they didn't seem to even consider the fact that they may kill each other. Or that the lack of organization would lead to chaos. There was no long term plan in motion to help them. They dumped the delinquents here like lab rights and expected them to do all the work for the Ark. It was bullshit. And it was exactly what Bellamy had used to rally up the crowd. But things were different now. As Clarke said, it couldn't just be 'whatever the hell we wan't anymore. There needed to be rules. Rules, that apparently he and the princess were going to come up with together.

Which . . . was not going to be remotely easy. He turned his head to look at her when she asked him if he could teach her out to fight. The question surprised him and yet didn't, keeping his expression stoic as he normally did. "Sure," he agreed, though a part of him hoped that she wouldn't use it to . . . well, slay any more demons. "When things have calmed down a bit, I'll teach you." All the delinquents would need to be trained. Charlotte wasn't the exception but she, Bellamy decided he would definitely need to train one on one. "Both how to hunt and basic skills, especially self defense. Cause down here, you're gonna need it." Especially since they weren't alone.

[ashbeee]

Charlotte was happy to hear that Bellamy was willing to teach her some of the basics of survival " Thanks, Bellamy " she said with a small smile. The thought of food came back to her when she looked at her side to see the food. She decided she was hungry enough to eat. While she was eating she thought about what the Ark might be doing at this moment. She wondered if they would ever come down to Earth, part of her didn't really want them to. What would happen to the prisoners down here if they were to arrive? Charlotte had killed Wells, The chancellors son, who she imagined would not take too kindly if he found out. Sure those wristbands were taken off, which according to Clarke told the Ark if we were alive, he probably assumed Wells was already dead but the cause would be even worse for him to find out.

They were not alone on the ground as far as she's heard around camp 'Grounders' are apparently a new threat to them, besides the tensions and survival issues. At one point people blamed them for killing Wells, if only it stayed that way. " What are those - those grounders? " she said out of the blue " i thought we were the only ones here " From what she knew they  were dangerous, they had managed to injure and almost kill someone. Charlotte had never really been out of camp that much so she had never really understood what they were. " if we learn how to fight we can stop them from hurting anyone else" she said almost like it was that simple. Charlotte only had one view of the grounders and that they were bad, despite the fact that she didn't understand really anything about them. She only wanted the fighting to stop, not just among themselves but also with the grounders. She wanted everyone to live in a safer world. 

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: ashbeee

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

When she asked about the Grounders, Bellamy knew he couldn't lie about it. She didn't deserve the sugar coated answer, not when everyone was going to have to play a part in protecting the camp from the Grounders attack. Bellamy's mind inevitably went back to having let the others believe that the Grounders had killed Wells. It would have been so much simpler that way. To target their energy toward a real enemy, rather than at each other. "That's what they told us," Bellamy said, referring to the Ark having told them that there were no survivors on Earth . . . and how wrong they had been. They didn't even seem to consider that there were others on the ground.

Otherwise, surely they would have better prepared them. "We don't know much about them. Other than they clearly don't want us here. And they're a threat." So they would have to stand and fight, because they had every right to be here too. He turned his head to look at Charlotte, a small smile playing on his lips. "Exactly," he said in full agreement. "We all need to train to defend ourselves from them." He paused for a moment, thinking to all that needed to be done. "And we will," he said confidently, knowing that displaying doubt in front of the others wouldn't make for good morale.