The Unexpected Janitor

[Deleted]

It had been a long day in Medical, and Jackson's head was aching just a little--not enough to waste Ark resources and take a painkiller, but enough to be annoying. Patients had been non-stop today. Abby had left on Council business, and Jackson was finishing up paperwork before he took his break. He needed to meet with Sinclair later to discuss metrics they would need to be able to get from the wristbands he was designing for Project Exodus, and the best method of reading those.

Somehow he still couldn't believe what they were doing. Dropping ninety-nine children to Earth. Sometimes his stomach twisted at the thought, but… what choice did they have? Jackson initially would have prefered the Council drop volunteers, but the more he considered it, if Earth was survivable, these kids wouldn't have another opportunity to live otherwise. The Council wouldn't prioritize juvenile delinquents on the next drop if this one went well, so if those kids didn't go down first, they would just suffocate on the Ark later anyway.

Still, knowing what he knew was a heavy weight to carry. It had taken a few weeks after being informed about Project Exodus before Jackson wasn't hyper-aware of every breath he took.

He saw movement in his peripheral vision and glanced over just long enough to see a janitor's uniform before turning back to his paperwork. He heard the janitor shuffling around, working, but didn't pay much attention.

Eventually, his eyes felt strained staring at his work, so he pinched the bridge of his nose and massaged up his forehead with a little grunt, which was when the janitor reached the trash next to his desk. "Thank you," Jackson said, and automatically smiled and looked up… but then his smile slipped when he saw who was wearing the uniform and confusion clouded his expression. "Bellamy?"

He hadn't seen Bellamy at the gym lately, but this was certainly not what he expected the reason might be.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

my sister

MY RESPONSIBILITY

This was Bellamy's life now. Purposeless. Alone. Living his worst nightmare, as his greatest fear had come true. His mother was dead, his sister would be floated when she was 18 . . . and it was all his own fault. He had no one to blame but himself, for being so reckless and naive that he believed he could take Octavia out into the real world. How wrong he had been. And yet for whatever reason, every had paid the price except for him. He was the most guilty and all that was set as punishment was termination from his position in the guard and less rations. Then again, maybe living was the worst punishment of all. Living, in the absence of his family and with the knowledge that he was responsible for their fate.

Right now, he was standing at the doors of medical, seeing an all too familiar figure sitting at the desk. With any luck, he could get in and out undetected. But then, luck was seldom ever on his side. The desperate thought of talking to Jackson did enter the now janitor's mind. But not for reasons that their first encounter may entail. Bellamy had tried to appeal to the council; to bargain with them. His life for Octavia's. That way, only one sibling would be alive and well, Octavia was innocent. Bellamy was the one who had committed the crimes all these years. He should be the one rightfully punished. But his attempts to swap places was to no avail. His mind vaguely recalled Jackson saying something about ties to the council . . . the thought was there. But Bellamy remained silent as he proceeded on with his work.

The sooner he started, the sooner he could finish. Thus far, Jackson was preoccupied enough with his work that he didn't notice. Not until Bellamy picked up the nearby trash can and Jackson just happened to catch a glimpse of him, saying his name just as Bellamy turned his back to the doctor. The former cadet froze, pausing in his actions for a brief moment as he half turned his head. "I'll be out of your way in just a bit," he assured him, before taking the small garbage can and dumping its contents into a bigger one that he wheeled along with him. Bellamy wasn't even embarrassed of his position. It was the shame of what he had done to his family. And the rumors that he knew were circulating around the Ark. After all, it wasn't often -- if ever -- that an illegal sibling was discovered after 16 years.

[Deleted]

"You're not in my way," Jackson said automatically, studying Bellamy. He knew the confusion was still on his face, but it was starting to fade at little as he tried to figure out what to say next. Obviously something had happened to Bellamy. Jackson remembered Bellamy saying he took his position as a Cadet to better his family, and Jackson knew he wouldn't have given it up willingly. He wondered how he could ask what had happened in a way that didn't sound rude. There was nothing wrong with being a janitor, after all. He just knew this probably wasn't by choice.

He stood, offering Bellamy a small smile that felt strange on his face. "How have you been?" he asked. It was an open enough question that Jackson hoped it wouldn't be taken poorly. They were both working, so he knew they couldn't exactly have an extended conversation, but he wanted Bellamy to know what he cared to ask, that he cared about Bellamy's life, even if they'd only shared one evening together previously.


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

my sister

MY RESPONSIBILITY

Bellamy couldn't bring himself to meet Jackson's gaze. Instead, he focused on the work he was here to do. Clean up and leave. He knew he was not the same man that he was back when he and Jackson had their one night. Nor could he return to be that man. He had not smiled since the masquerade and wondered if the expression would ever be found again. Right now, everything felt dark and grim, and he wasn't about to pull Jackson into his own world of darkness.

"Fine," he answered bluntly. Nonchalantly. Void of emotion. Almost, robotic. He wasn't fine, far far it. But that was the only response he could offer. He reached for a cloth and cleaner and started to wipe over a few of the tables. Bellamy paused for a moment, knowing it was only fair to return the question. Not that Bellamy was trying to make or keep friends. What was the use anyway? He was not someone who deserved any form of affection from another. "How about you?" He asked, still working though meaning his question. He knew the man worked hard and could even tell from his demeanour now. Perhaps it was a safer question to ask than any answer Bellamy could provide of his own to Jackson.

[Deleted]

Jackson kept watching Bellamy as he worked, avoiding looking at Jackson. The blunt dismissiveness of his answer only made it even more clear that Bellamy was far from fine. Something bad had happened, obviously, and Bellamy clearly didn't want to talk about it.

Jackson sighed and wondered if answering Bellamy's question with complete and total honesty (as much as he could without revealing anything that would get him floated) would prompt Bellamy to open up. After their night together before, Jackson didn't feel like he had much to hide. "I'm exhausted," he said, his voice soft, inviting. "Everything aches, and I'm being pulled a hundred different ways," he added. "But what's new?"

A lot was new, and however stressed and overworked he'd felt last time he'd seen Bellamy, it was worse now, but Jackson wasn't going to pile his crap on Bellamy, who was clearly in need of... something.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

my sister

MY RESPONSIBILITY

Jackson offered an honest answer; more honest than Bellamy's had been. He supposed he could appreciate that, knowing what the doctor was trying to do. He was exhausted. Bellamy glanced over him for a brief moment, but even in that flicker of a glance, could see the evidence of his words in his face. Not that he thought Jackson would say such untrue things. Turning his attentions back to the table, he spoke. "Well make sure you eat," he said, as almost a tease though there wasn't a single ounce of joviality or humor in his voice. It was merely a reference to their first meeting. But had circumstances been less dark, Bellamy figured his words would come out more teasing and playful rather than simply . . . blunt. His next question made the janitor wonder, and start to realize that perhaps Jackson didn't know.

Perhaps news had not reached this side of the Ark. Unless the doctor was just being really damn good at ignoring it but . . . Bellamy didn't think it was likely. Maybe he genuinely didn't know. His gaze, the underlying tone of his questions . . . Bellamy nearly scoffed though it was far from amusement. "Figured everyone knew," he said in a low voice. He moved over to his cart, rinsing off the cloth in the small bowl of water. "Especially with your ties to the council." The previous thought entered Bellamy's mind regarding whether he should bring it to Jackson or just . . . leave it. He was desperate and desperate times called for desperate measures perhaps. Still, Bellamy hated the Chancellor and hated the damn council for doing what they did. That anger caused a subtle hint of bitterness in his statement about the council.

[Deleted]

Jackson frowned in confusion again. What did everyone know? What had happened that had involved the Council? Jackson shrugged. "They don't tell me anything I don't need to know," he said honestly.

He walked over to Bellamy's cart, standing on the opposite side that Bellamy was. He was close enough to touch Bellamy, and he wanted to. He wanted to offer comfort, but he wasn't sure Bellamy would respond as positively today as he had before. "And I don't really have free time for gossip."

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

my sister

MY RESPONSIBILITY

Bellamy noticed from the corner of his eye, Jackson approaching the cart, standing close enough to him though Bellamy didn't make a move to acknowledge it. He just carried on with his work, rinsing off the cloth but listening intently to what Jackson was saying. Gossip. That was what his life resorted to. People who knew his mother coming up, questioning things. Others whispering as he passed by seeming to recognize him and his story. His family was on display, the Blakes defying the laws of the Ark and now suffering the consequences. But Jackson didn't know. And it wasn't as if this was some well guarded or kept secret. The time for secrets was over;

Octavia was exposed and now forced to live in a cell for merely existing. Bellamy ceased his actions, his eyes flickering to Jackson's for a moment before averting once more. "My mother was floated." People getting floated wasn't an huge rarity . . . but it made it no easier for those who had suffered the loss. "And my sister was arrested." It was that statement that he supposed was the most telling, the most revealing. One said with the suppression of emotion. Perhaps too blunt and unemotional; over compensating for everything he was keeping bottled within. Not allowing it to unleash itself. Once spoken, he began to rummage through his supplies, pulling out the proper cleaner for the floor, not looking at Jackson to see his reaction. 

[Deleted]

Jackson instinctively reached out to Bellamy when he mentioned his mother. He knew what it felt like to lose a mother, even if circumstances may have been completely different. But his hand froze halfway to Bellamy when he mentioned his sister. His sister? People having second children on the Ark wasn't unheard of, but it was very rare. Most women on the Ark that already had one child had the birth control implant. But Jackson knew it wasn't 100% effective, and in rare cases, complications required its removal.

Jackson stared at Bellamy in shock for a moment as he went through the contents of his cart. "You... your sister?" he asked, then realized that was stupid. He moved around the cart and touched Bellamy's upper arm gently, ducking his head to try to get Bellamy to look at him. "I'm sorry," he said. "I know that probably means nothing to you right now. It didn't mean anything to me when I lost my mom either. but... is there anything I can do?"

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

my sister

MY RESPONSIBILITY

Bellamy expected the shock. Hell, everyone was shocked when they learned about it. Apparently, sixteen years -- seventeen years he supposed technically -- was a record. Bellamy froze when he felt Jackson's hand on his arm, still unable to meet his gaze as he instead, clenched his jaw, biting back the emotion. The comfort of any contact was not something that Bellamy deserved. His sister didn't have it. His mother would never have it again. Why the hell should he allow himself any sort of comfort after what he had done? Fortunately, Jackson seemed to understand that an apology of condolence didn't do a hell of a lot to make him feel better. On the surface, he supposed he could have thanked the doctor and moved on. But instead, his question, his offer . . . made Bellamy wonder. Even if just for a second.

Besides, what did he have to lose? He doubted he could make anything worse than it already was. Finally, Bellamy's eyes rose to meet Jackson's. "Unless you can convince the council to let her out of the Skybox and charge me instead . . . then no." Bellamy was more than willing to give his life for his sister. One child was the rule; this was a perfect way to take care of them. Despite the statement, or question, or whatever he was saying . . . he knew that deep down, Jackson couldn't do that. No one could change anyone's mind except for the Chancellor. But he doubted Jaha would do shit for him. "They won't even let me see her." Another form of torture and most likely punishment; the refusal for visitation.

[Deleted]

When Bellamy mentioned the Skybox, Jackson's heart felt like it skipped a couple of beats. Somehow it hadn't hit him before that Bellamy had said his sister was arrested, not floated. God, Jackson was dropping Bellamy's sister to the ground, wasn't he? And if Earth was survivable, Bellamy wouldn't be on the next Dropship down. The Council would prioritize politicians and doctors and farmers and teachers. Not janitors. Bellamy had no idea that the Council had, effectively, given him a death sentence too.

He let out a shaky breath and told himself not to overreact. He couldn't let Bellamy see what was running through his mind, and yet knowing what he knew, it made him want to help Bellamy even more. Bellamy didn't have much time left. He shouldn't spend it isolated and miserable.

He shook his head. That last part sounded like something Jaha would do. "If I had any sway, I would help you," he said. He paused for a moment, then muttered. "I hate politics."

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

my sister

MY RESPONSIBILITY

Bellamy knew that deep down, Jackson wouldn't have been able to do anything. But that didn't keep from the irrational disappointment he felt in this assumption being confirmed. He was grasping at straws, but what else could he do? Just wait around for the next couple years when her case was reviewed and she was inevitably floated? If they didn't pardon her now, they sure as hell weren't going to pardon her in a couple years time. "To them, its politics," Bellamy because to say, that same underlying tone of bitterness in his voice though it continued to come out in blunt statements.

"To us, it's people's lives." Us. The less than privileged people. Not the ones who were sitting pretty on the council, making all the decisions and floating people left right and center. Dumping a bit of the liquid into the bucket of water, Bellamy proceeded to pull out the mop and mix the fluids together. "Guess there's nothing you can do then." Because there wasn't anything anyone could do. And that was what frustrated Bellamy the most. Was that he was so powerless, so helpless to save his sister . . . only in danger now because of his stupidity and recklessness. He hated the damn council. He hated the laws on the Ark. He hated Shumay. But most of all . . . he hated himself.

[Deleted]

Jackson watched Bellamy work. He wished he could tell Bellamy that his sister being in the Skybox was actually her best chance at surviving life on the Ark right now, but of course he couldn't.

He knew he probably shouldn't keep Bellamy distracted. The last thing he wanted was to cause any more trouble for him. But he didn't think Bellamy was exactly right in Jackson not being able to do anything.

"There's nothing I can do for her," he said, watching Bellamy for another moment before going to his desk to lock up the confidential files still sitting on it. "I was about to take a break, and then I have other business, but I'm free after that." It would be late, and Jackson would normally just crash in bed, but if he could help Bellamy, he'd stay up. Or try to.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

my sister

MY RESPONSIBILITY

Bellamy didn't care about himself. If there was nothing that anyone could do for Octavia, then there was nothing they could do for him either. She was the center of his universe for so many years. And he could lose her. Truly, lose her. Right now the only thing that even remotely kept him going was the fact that she was still alive, and thus, there was a semblance of hope that he could somehow save her. "Free to what?" Bellamy asked without looking over at Jackson. "Free to talk, open up, share our feelings?" He knew his words were blunt, sarcastic, and he regretted them as soon as they came out. Jackson wasn't to blame for Bellamy's pain, but he just didn't know how to handle it. He had pushed everyone else away . . . unable to face them.

Unable to risk hurting anyone else. He didn't deserve any comfort or ease of pain. He slightly shook his head, glancing at Jackson with a subtle expression of apology where words failed in conveying it. Truth be told, he appreciated his offer and willingness to help him. Bellamy just wasn't used to accepting it. "I wouldn't even know what to say or do," he admitted to him in a low voice, revealing more about his helpless state than he had to anyone else. "And I don't think you wanna be stuck with someone like that." He was trying to spare Jackson of being in the company of who Bellamy was now; nothing like the man he had been before when they had met and thoroughly enjoyed each other's company.

[Deleted]

Jackson let Bellamy's initial sarcastic tone slip past. Bellamy was hurting, and angry, and for good reason. Jackson knew that anger wasn't meant for him, though. He just happened to be the guy in the room with Bellamy, prodding him gently. He appreciated the hint of an apology on Bellamy's face when he looked up, though.

"Maybe you're right," Jackson said, walking back over to Bellamy. "Or maybe you're wrong." He stopped in front of Bellamy and sighed. "We don't have to do or say anything. We don't even have to talk. Sometimes just not being alone helps."