Sha la la la la la

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He didn't feel from her body language that she had stiffened in hesitation as he moved her back, which only encouraged him further. Her hands moving under his shirt made him want to shed himself of the barrier of clothing and just feel her completely. One hand kept him braced above her while the other moved to the bottom of her shirt, starting to slide it up when he heard her say his name. This time, it sounded like a way to stop their actions rather than something uttered in the heat of passion. He worked to catch his breath, feeling overwhelmed by well, everything. His lips moved first to her cheek, then to the side of her neck, where he created a trail of kisses along it.

Her next words didn't stop him, finding the need to touch her skin in whatever way possible. He didn't disagree with her words, though he wasn't yet discouraged by them. His lips made their way to her ear where he spoke in a deep whisper against them. "Where is it ever truly safe?" He asked her, somewhat rhetorically. But she had said not here. And he needed to let those words register, that she wasn't comfortable with this and . . . he could be endangering them if he kept it up. Damn it. The timing. The surroundings. He knew that it was going to be difficult to recreate this back at the camp, with everyone else there.

He pulled his lips from her skin, taking a few moments to regain his composure, attempting to catch his breath and control himself. It was so damn hard having finally been able to kiss her and let himself be rid of any reservations. He lifted his head to look at her, hovering over her, fully aware that he would need to re-adjust their positions before temptation took over. "Right," he breathed, forcing himself off of her and seated himself next to her instead. He let out a heavy breath, turning his head away, unable to look at her and restrain himself at the same time . . . not after experiencing such intense desire for her.

[Clarke Griffin]

He had a point. Nothing was ever truly safe, but there were places safer than here. Here they were out in the open. Up until not too long ago Grounders had hunted them, wanted them dead. Those were still out there. They could come here any moment and what a feast they’d have when they would find them both undressed, lost in each others embrace and finally lost in each other, not only physically but mentally as well. Not a good idea. At least at the camp there would be people between them, a warning system in place. They could react, at least get dressed before they had to face the Grounders. Here losing their mind could result in both of their deaths. Clarke, while she didn’t mind her own death, did not want to see him suffer and die, especially not after those kisses, after feeling his skin under her fingers and his fingers on her skin, not after he kissed her neck like that. She was not going to lose him just because of her impatience to be with him and potentially his. She watched as her saw up again. For a moment she remained where she was, before rolling over on her side and pushing herself up awkwardly. After a short struggle she was close to him again. The light was still around them. 

“Bellamy… you have to see the problem, don’t you?” she asked softly. His jacket lay forgotten next to them as she moved her head back to his shoulder, her hand back into his, squeezing it softly. “Under different circumstances, I’d say Kiss me senseless, sleep with me. But we’re out in the open. We’ve just been hunted by Grounders. What if they’re still around and they find out when we’re naked doing this? Not exactly ideal, right? We’ll be safer in the camp.”


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He wasn't sure what her reaction would be but he got a pretty good idea of where her head was at when she broke the silence and spoke words that made the utmost sense. She was right; of course she was. It was good that one of them was thinking with a clear head cause he sure as hell hadn't been. He let her finish speaking though, saying that had circumstances been different, she would have encouraged him, this, them.

But she was pointing out the logic and he was relieved for it, because he needed to hear it. He needed to hear why this would be a bad idea, why it wasn't safe, how it could endanger her. He slowly nodded his head, and with her resting against him once more, he took a few moments to compose himself before placing his arm back around her. He didn't want her to think that he was rejecting of her now just because they didn't have sex. It wasn't about that, and he didn't want her to get that impression.

"I know," he said, vocalizing his agreement. "You're right. I just . . . wasn't thinking." For once, he wasn't thinking. He was just letting his emotion control his actions and it could have gotten them killed. Thank god she had more restraint than he had showed. He wrapped his hand around hers that she held, slightly turning his head to the side, resting his lips against the top of her head. Her words ran through his mind, speaking of different circumstances.

He had to know. He had to ask. Because he didn't want this to ruin them, nor did he want any awkwardness between them. "Do you want this, Clarke?" It sounded like she did, but he needed to make sure. The moment may have been what prompted the kiss, but his feelings for her were strong, regardless of where they were. That wasn't about to change anytime soon. And he wanted to know if it would for her; if there was another at the camp that she felt more for. If this was just a lapse in judgment for her. God he hoped not, but he had to be sure.

[Clarke Griffin]

“Noticed.” She almost would have not thought either, would have just let him take her then and there, without a single complaint or a single care in the world. Luckily she had thought before her brain shut off and started repeating his name like a sacred mantra in her head. Luckily they were less likely to end up decoration of grounder spears this way. Who knew, she might be very vocal and then, well then they might have even attracted them. Not a good idea. She smiled softly against his shoulder as he kissed her head. Just a while ago she could have sworn they barely tolerated each other, while she was secretly pining for him. It seemed she was wrong. Finally a good way to be wrong. 

“This? Between us?” What if he didn’t? But would he ask if he didn’t? Would he care? No, no way. She did remember his fun times in the camp vividly. “Yes, I do.” She didn’t look up at him, not knowing what to expect, but somehow fearing what she would see. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she was right. Which was worse, though? Him not wanting her and this. That could be really embarrassing.


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He felt nervous waiting for her reaction, trying not to make any show of it. He had never felt so strongly for anyone, and for the firs woman he did feel this way for to not hold mutual feelings . . . well, he wasn't sure how to recover from that. Yet knew it was a possibility. What felt like ages, which actually could have just been mere seconds, she responded with another question. One he assumed didn't need his own answer to. He then waited again, noticing she wasn't looking at him. Maybe that was for the best. He didn't know if he could handle seeing her face if she rejected this, or them. But she didn't. Instead, she said that she wanted this. He felt his body relax a little, basking in the relief and joy of hearing her words, though didn't show sign of it.

He was attempting not to act like her words gave him a burst of happiness; that he had been waiting so anxiously, as if her answer could make or break him. "Good," he said simply, trying to hold back a smile but knew that a flicker of it crossed his features. It wasn't an emotion either of them frequently expressed but in all the death, and suffering, and darkness this world offered since they came . . . he had finally found something good in it, apart from his sister.

"So I'm going to hold you to this, Clarke," he added on, a slight underlying tone of teasing in his voice, but his words were not without truth. "And remind you of what you said when we get back to camp." About how if they were elsewhere, she would be for this. He was being a bit teasing, but he also found himself wanting to explore this newly admitted intimacy with her -- whether that be in a physical sense or emotional sense. Either way, tonight, she had made him happier than he imagined he could possibly be here in this world. And he just hoped he could do the same for her.

[Clarke Griffin]

This was weird, actually. She didn’t expect this from tonight. She expected supplies, more food for their group, maybe a long night due to exhaustion. And since they were here she expected a long night spent awake until they could make their way back, if they found their way. She did not expect this, kissing, holding each other, becoming more than friends with so much ease, she felt surprised by it. Clarke shook her head with a smile, not being against it, but slightly disbelieving. This was really good, but almost too good to be true. Yet, it was. It was true, maybe the only true thing here. 

“Will you, now?” Finally Clarke turned to look at him again, seeing the almost boyish mischievous glint in his eyes, something she hadn’t expected to see for a long time, but she liked it. She wanted to see more of it, much more. “Good. I want you to hold me to it. But… what about the others? You could hold me to it so that everyone sees and knows or…. In secrets. What’s better for the group, Bellamy?” She knew what would be better for the both of them, better not more exciting naturally.


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He found her teasing response unfamiliar, but quite welcome. To be able to act with such ease and hold this kind of conversation was not something he thought would have happened. He had hoped for it he supposed, but he had not expected it. The two of them rarely ever let down their defenses. They hardly ever allowed themselves to smile and be relaxed. They couldn't afford to. Yet it seemed they found the ability to do so in each other's company. She then stated that she wanted him to hold her to it, further encouragement . . . but then asked about the others.

Quite honestly, Bellamy didn't give a damn what they thought. Hell, his sister fell for a Grounder. But he also understood Clarke's concerns. They were the ones leading the group; it was different for them. "Well that depends on you, princess," he told her. "And whether or not you want certain other people to know." Finn came to mind, since it was pretty obvious how he felt about her. He wasn't threatened by the guy, but he also knew that he tended to follow Clarke around like a lost puppy dog.

"I don't think we need to advertise it to anyone." He knew it wasn't anyone else's business but he also couldn't deny that given their leadership roles, it tended to become other people's business. "But it's also not gonna be easy to hide. We have to be prepared either way." Because this wasn't something Bellamy was taking lightly. He didn't intend to just have his way with her in his tent and be done with her. No. He would be far more committed to her. He was in this for the long haul, or for however long she wanted to be with him for.

[Clarke Griffin]

Of course she had to be stupid enough to kill the mood, stab it and twist the damn dagger, with one question. What to tell the others or how much to share? How much to keep from them? There were things they had to think about, things they could not forget. They were the leaders. The group could start to doubt them. They had to be stronger than ever if the group was to find out about that, whatever this was. She needed a name for this, for them. They needed to be on the same page about it, not doubt anything. They could not dare to doubt anything. For now she was good with not telling, but not hiding either, as long as she knew what this was, as they knew.

“Bellamy… I agree, we have to be prepared, but… what is this? What do you want from this? Us?” Us. Interesting sound of that. They had been co – leaders, but a unit, a tight unit like this was new and not necessarily bad to them. It was good, felt good, but maybe he did not want that in the way she did. Maybe the casual touching was not part of the deal for him? But for her. As new as it was, she would want the whole deal.


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She was asking questions that were fair . . . but ones that he didn't know how to answer. It wasn't that he didn't know the answer, it was that he didn't know how to express it. Talking about his feelings and what not wasn't his strong suit. And she was asking him things that he should be able to answer; that she deserved to know. Which was why he didn't want to blow it by saying the wrong thing. But how did he verbalize what was in his heart? He tended to do a shitty job of telling people he cared about how much they meant to him. Octavia was a prime example of that.

"I'm not just messing around if that's what you mean," he said, not liking the answer as soon as he said it. He fell silent, trying to think of a better way to phrase things. "I want to be with you." God that probably sounded stupid. Way too simplistic, and yet, there was a strong meaning to his statement. He wanted to be with her. Not just for a night, nor just as co leaders, but in a relationship. It was so much easier felt than said, and hoped that his answer didn't sound completely idiotic. "What do you see this as, Clarke?" He asked, wondering where her head was at with everything. Was she having uncertainties? Was she having her doubts now? If she wanted a committment, he could give that to her. He may not have been in a serious relationship before, but that didn't mean he wasn't prepared to be in one. Cause as he already acknowledged, Clarke was different from all the rest.

[Clarke Griffin]

So he was not messing around with her. That was a relief. She didn’t want to open up to another man and have him break her heart again. She’s been there, she’s done that. She was done with it. She wanted more or nothing, but not something and then to deal with those consequences for ages again, because she might be strong, but she certainly was no toy and she refused to be treated as such again, not by anyone, especially not by him. But it appeared like they were on the same page, at least that was what he said. He wanted to be with her and she wanted that too. Was it that easy? With him? No big words, just a damn fact? That was actually refreshing.

“I want the same.” She whispered against his skin. Maybe it was a bit juvenile, immature, but she just had to know, to guard herself and what they had and needed for their people. This, them being together might even make it stronger. Their trust had always been there, things would probably not change about their fighting anyway, maybe they would even get worse. But who cared? They got it done, one way or another. They would continue to do so. “I just want you to be honest with me, as honest as you always were. I don’t want… Finn to repeat.”


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She said she wanted the same, and Bellamy continued to feel a relief and comfort in her words, learning that how he felt was not one sided. And that what he wanted, was mutual. She added on that she wanted him to be honest with her, as he always was, and that she didn't want a repeat of Finn. He knew what the guy had done. He'd lied to Clarke -- or well, lied by ommission -- until the truth was staring at him in the face. It was a cowardly move, but at the same time, Bellamy had never gotten involved in it.

It wasn't his business. He didn't like seeing Clarke getting hurt though; a protective feeling that surpassed just friends. "I won't lie to you," he told her. In the begining, he had done things without telling her of course . . . but when they decided to work together, he knew there was no point in lying. It wouldn't work if they were both doing their own thing. Brutal honesty was better than lying. "I'm not him." He wanted her to know that she didn't have to be worried about a Finn repeat. That if she did open herself up to him, he wasn't going to take that for granted.

"So, I didn't have a girlfriend on the Ark," he told her with a half smile, his voice almost teasing but meant his words at the same time. "Or a boyfriend in case you were wondering," he added on as he looked at her with a continued hint of a smile. Who he was on the Ark, wasn't who he was here . . . but the only relationship he had on there was with his mother and sister. And then it was just Octavia after their mom was floated. "Anything you wanna tell me?" He asked only half kidding. This felt so, strange and yet comfortable at the same time. Talking about a subject that was so . . . normal. As if they could be just two ordinary people, having an ordinary conversation.

[Clarke Griffin]

“Good. Neither will I.” At least she hoped she could keep that one. What if something happened? She knew she would lie to save his life. Clarke would not even think twice about that. But maybe that was the kind of forgivable lie, a forced lie. She’d not lie about anything else, not ever. Clarke moved her hand up to his chest again, letting it rest straight over his heart. She couldn’t feel the beat through the fabric or the muscle, but she knew it was there, his warmth being enough confirmation for her. 

“You didn’t? Ever?” He was older than most of them – if not all of them – and didn’t have a girlfriend? Or did he just mean at the time being? It didn’t matter either way. Or a boyfriend. Interesting, but she liked that brutal honesty and clear openness. Clarke herself knew she was attracted to men and women alike, right now though, only one man mattered: Bellamy Blake. God, how would Finn take that one? Somehow she had the feeling that she might have to bandage up Bellamys knuckles soon. 

“I was with Wells, but I think you figured that out before. I was with him before my father died and I got locked up. And then there is Finn. Slept with him, fell for him, found out after that Raven even existed. But nope, as far as I am concerned I have been without someone up until just now. Though Finn might disagree.”


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

The way she touched him caused him to quietly and deeply inhale, an expression of just how much comfort he was experiencing in this moment. The way it rested over his heart, prompted him to gently kiss the side of her head again. He knew that if the Grounders came they would be fully alert and on guard, but right now . . . it felt pretty damn good to just sit here with her, talking about things that weren't related to death, violence, or brutality of any kind. "You sound surprised," he said a bit teasingly. He supposed it was a fair reason to be surprised.

He had committed his life to protecting Octavia. Whatever relationships he'd tried to have, never worked out. He couldn't allow anyone close enough to lower his guards. To allow them in. It was one thing to just be with someone physically, but he had never been with anyone, emotionally. "Octavia has always been my proirity," he told her seriously, hoping that explained it better than him saying that he's had flings but not relationships.

For really, that was the fundamental reason. She then explained that she had been with Wells, assuming he'd figured that out. Oh he did. Hell, he had even taunted Wells about it when they were on the move and Finn was cozying up to Clarke. "Well then he's an idiot," he said bluntly, a bit teasingly, but he meant his words. If a guy thought he could play one woman when he hadn't even broken up with his last girlfriend, then yeah . . . he was an idiot.

No one really expected that from Finn he supposed. Everyone saw him as the good, honorable type of guy. But apparently, he wasn't so honorable when it came to the women in his life. It sounded like she had been through a lot, and he wanted to be sure of where her head was at so that he didn't do anything to make things worse. "Are you ready to be with someone else?" He asked, prepared for any answer she may give him.

He didn't just mean sex but rather, emotionally. "Cause hey, if you wanna take things slow, I'm fine with that." With how much his feelings for her had developed over the last little while, he was fine with whatever pace she wanted to take things at. Because unlike her, he didn't have others he fell so hard for. He didn't have past intimate relationships that were weighing on him, or that he had gotten burned from. And he wanted to be 100 percent positive that she was ready to move on, full move on.

[Clarke Griffin]

Clarke had always gathered that from him, his devotion to his sister. She had no idea how it felt, after all she had no siblings, but she was impressed by the devotion and care they held for each other. If that was what having a sibling was like, they were all hopelessly missing out, missing out on a bon that could not be recreated anywhere else. Octavia, despite having been in detainment, was a very, very lucky girl. And whoever fell in love with her a very unlucky guy, because he would have live up to the comparison with Bellamy and his scrutiny. Now that would be very hard, was very hard actually, she knew that.

“I am ready, Bellamy. I am ready to move on. He broke my heart, but it’s time to move on.” Like he did, only with a clear conscience. She had a clear conscience. She was open with him, he was open with her, Finn could go to hell, for all she cared right now. Clarke deserved a partner like Bellamy, not Finn. She deserved someone whom she could trust, who had her back and was honest with her, brutally honest if he had to. It was good, great even. “Slow? We’re on earth, Bellamy, surrounded by Grounders. Tomorrow we could be dead. We don’t have time for slow.”


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Before, Bellamy had no interest in getting involved in the romantic triangle between the three of them. But hearing her speak of Finn now, knowing how much he hurt her how . . . he had broken her heart, it made Bellamy want to knock the guy out -- to say the least. He supposed it was that over protective nature in him. The same one that had made him hang up Atom on a tree to ensure he didn't touch his sister again. It was an overprotective nature that tended to cause strain in the only relationship he had . . . until Clarke that is. He would have to be careful of it, mindful. Clarke wasn't the kind of woman to put up with his shit, a quality that he actually found quite attractive.

"He doesn't deserve to have that power over you." The power to break her heart; the privilege of having had her fall for him. He doubted the guy was losing any sleep over what he did . . . especially since his bed was warmed with his current girlfriend. She then pointed out that they didn't have time for slow and it caused another slight smirk to cross his face. "Hey, I was trying to be nice," he told her. 'Nice' by giving her the option to pick the pace. "You're right though, tomorrow we could be dead. Which was why I was ready tonight." He was teasing her of course, rather enjoying the ease in which the ability to tease her came at. "But glad to hear we're on the same page about that," he added on in the same tone of voice.