This Is Not Your Place

[Costia]

Costia's hands moved to rest upon the small of Lexa's back as she moved over onto her lap "Of course... It is foolish to worry, we outnumber them, their losses will be greater than ours" she muttered, more to reassure herself than anything else. As Lexa moved her lips back to meet Costia's to kiss her again, this time Costia did not shy away as Lexa's hands came up to rest on the back of her neck.

As Lexa pulled away once again, Costia watched her intently listening to her words. Nodding her head slowly she offered a small smile "I do understand Lexa... I understand that I must follow orders, I am no stranger to that, I've had to follow orders all my life" she muttered as Lexa moved her hands to her face. "I also understand how much you care for me... I do not want to make things difficult for you" she told her, stroking a hand up and down her spine softly. Hesitantly she pursed her lips "I do however, want to make a small request... If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to stay in Tondc for a while, after Skaikru have been taken care of, to help them rebuild and recover from their losses" it felt like so long since she had seen Gustus and truth be told she missed her guardian and the village that she had once called home. It was just a matter of whether or not Lexa would allow her to remain behind in the village instead of accompanying her back to Polis.

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[Deleted]

if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you tagged Costia

Lexa relaxed at the feeling of Costia’s hand running along her spine, but her question about staying in TonDC made her frown with confusion. It was hard to think of it as her staying behind to help... She knew Costia had to feel like a prisoner here. The large metal walls were confining for a bird such as herself. “When will you return?” Lexa asked quietly. She could make Costia stay. There were a thousand reasons to make her. The mountain men could take her, Azgeda could attack, or a panther could just tear her apart. Polis was many things, but it was safe. It made the idea of Costia being anywhere else unbearable. Slowly she got off of her lap and started to undo the small braids in her hair with her back to Costia.

“If that’s what you want, but you’ll be more vulnerable in TonDC than you would be here.” Which defeated the purpose of Lexa wanting her to stay. She didn’t want Costia to resent her. So she tried to sound as if she were comfortable with the idea. “I could stay with you...” Lexa knew Titus would have an issue with Lexa staying out in the open like that without a compliment of guards. Still, she knew nobody could protect Costia better than she could, even if that was not her place.

OWL

[Costia]

Costia gave a slight shrug of her shoulders at Lexa's question "I don't know, a week or two... Not long" she hoped her words reassured the Commander. She knew how concerned she got on the rare occasions that Costia left Polis. She didn't like her to worry, not when she knew that she was more than capable of defending herself. As Lexa climbed off of her lap, Costia watched her as she turned her back on her, seemingly undoing the braids in her hair. She couldn't tell if she was upset with the idea of her staying in Tondc for a prolonged period of time. "I know about the risks of staying in Tondc, but I have a duty to my people, just like you.. I don't have the same responsibilities as you Lexa, but they are my people and they have suffered greatly recently and I have to at least try to rebuild what they once had" she muttered, lowering her gaze to look at her lap. Living in Polis wasn't that bad, she was used to it, it was safe. It was almost peaceful, compared to the life she used to live in Tondc, but she'd enjoy seeing the village again even after such tragedy had struck.

At her words Costia arched an eyebrow in surprise "What about Titus?" she questioned her "I don't think he'd approve" the Flamekeeper wasn't shy about showing his disapproval for some of Lexa's decisions. It was kind of his job to give her advice, even if his advice could become bothersome after a while "If you want to stay with me, I won't protest..." the idea delighted the warrior, Lexa rarely left Polis unless there was a dire need for her help. Costia couldn't remember the last time they'd been in Tondc together.

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[Deleted]

if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you tagged Costia

Lexa tried to measure Costia’s expression; to see if those were her true intentions. For the first time in a long while Lexa was insecure. She hoped that she was not driving her lover away, but with the weight of being Heda on her shoulders she could never blame Costia if it was the reason that she wanted to leave Polis. Especially since Lexa had been treating her like a caged bird that had to be protected to keep her from Azgeda. She knew that was not the life of a warrior, but her fear of losing her made her weak. It was easier to keep her behind stone walls than it was to let her fly free as she should. “I don’t care if Titus thinks it’s unwise,” she said boldly as she stripped her shoulder guard and rested it aside. She glanced out the window for a moment before looking back at Costia.

“Do you want me to come with you? Or would you rather have some time apart?” It was her right, and Lexa did her best to hide the emotions she felt over such a decision. Her voice was steady and her tone was steel just as it had always been... she wouldn’t guilt the woman she loved into anything, but there was always a chance that Lexa was wrong. She liked to believe that she was above trivial insecurities and as Heda, she was... But Costia wasn’t the part of her that was commander. When it came to Costia, Lexa was the fool in love and it was hard sometimes to combine the two without making things messy. “I won’t hold it against you if you would rather be alone.”

OWL

[Costia]

"I would love for you to come with me Lexa" Costia told her, a confused expression on her face as she raised her gaze to watch her lover. "If I thought we needed time apart I'd tell you, but I don't think that's what we need" she told her as she rose from her seat on the bed. She believed the whole reason that they fought was because of the lack of time Lexa had as Heda. The last thing they needed was more time apart. Closing the distance between them she offered a small smile "I would never want to spend time away from you... Not really" she didn't understand her lovers words, it sounded as if she believed that Costia didn't want her anymore, nothing could be further from the truth.

"Of course I want you to come with me, nothing would please me more" she assured her, almost hesitantly she placed a hand on her arm "the real question is why you'd think otherwise, you know how much I care for you" she worried about what Titus would say when Lexa revealed that she wanted to remain in Tondc for a while, but Lexa could do what she wanted and she wasn't one to let others make decisions for her. Her gaze flickered down momentarily "All I want is for you to be happy, would you be happy if I stayed in Tondc without you?" she asked her, almost apprehensively, maybe afraid of what the answer would be.

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[Deleted]

if i'm a danger to myself Just think what I could do to you tagged Costia

"Costia, I love you with all my heart... I would never want to be apart." With these words, there was a heavy weight of sincerity behind them. She cupped her lovers face and kissed her forehead before pulling away to wash her face clean of paints. Lightly, she pulled the embellishment from her forehead and set it aside as she rinsed the paint from her face. She couldn't believe that Costia was even questioning that... had their lives gotten so warped? Everyone saw how much Costia met to her.

When they were in the same room they moved as though gravity held them together. Their worlds revolved around one another. That was why their relationship was so dangerous.

"Enough of this," she said slowly as she dried her face and crawled into the bed. "I will stay with you. We, and some guards will stay and rebuild TonDC." She smiled a little at the thought of returning home. It may not be like it used to be, but it was still going to be nice to get away from the capital. 

OWL

[Costia]

Costia couldn't help but smile as Lexa kissed her forehead, it was reassuring for her to hear Lexa tell her that she loved her. Their relationship wasn't always the most relaxed, there was a lot that put a lot of strain on it and to just have the verbal reassurance that her lover still reciprocated her feelings meant a lot to Costia. As she watched Lexa wash away the black paint from her face, somehow she always looked more human when the war paint was gone, the face paint was worn by all of their people whenever they went into battle, but that was just it. The paint reminded Costia of war, it was harsh and bold and when Lexa took it off it was like looking at a completely different person and in a sense you were, Lexa and Heda were two completely different people. Heda was a ruthless leader that nobody dared to question, Lexa was the girl that Costia had fallen in love with, she was stubborn but also gentle and kind.

Costia watched as Lexa dried her face and crawled into the bed "Thank you" she muttered her thanks to the girl, the smile never leaving her face as she started to ready herself for bed. She placed her sword by the bed, within easy reach if she should need it. Polis was safe, Lexa's bedroom was probably the safest place in Polis, it was more of a habit that Costia had to sleep with her weapon nearby. She perched on the edge of the bed as she tugged her boots off with a sigh and eventually joined her lover in the bed. "I cannot remember the last time we were in Tondc together" she muttered as she lay there "it means a lot to me... You staying in the village with me" she told Lexa softly as she stared at her.

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