Putting The Ass In Sass

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: cherry1

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Night was always the worst. During the days Bellamy could distract himself with the numerous tasks that needed to be done around camp. But at night . . . that was the hardest. Things would wind down and people would retire to their quarters. Everyone had shifted into the Ark as there was ample space, even enough to designate various areas within it (a training room, a mess hall, etc). Bellamy found himself restless right now, in the late, late hour of the night.

Lying in bed only made the images of those he had killed haunt him; flash through his already fragile mind. It was not something he wished to endure right now, so he found ways to busy himself. He first went to the gate to see if everyone was alright, but they had it under control. It wasn't enough to fully occupy his time. he returned back into the fallen Ark, heading to the work area. In the garage that Octavia and himself had once found Lincoln as a Reaper in, were several cars.

They had brought them over here, salvaging what they could from it. Stripping it for parts, or making it functional. As Bellamy entered the large room where a few of the cars were being worked on, he immediately noticed that the lights were on. But he didn't see anyone. Someone must have forgot to shut them off. He made his way to one of the vehicles, slamming his back on top of it. Just a small release for his frustrations. Training was another great outlet, but right now . . . that wasn't an option. So he would sure as hell make as much noise as he wanted in here considering there was no one else to hear it..

[cherry1]

The cars were the perfect distraction. Raven didn’t want to think about Mount Weather, or the fact that she didn’t know how to be with Wick…or about Finn. Or that the one person who understood the pain of losing him, had just up and left. Her leg wasn’t exactly getting any better either. Having a massive drill slowly digging through your bone tended to do that to you. She’d had nightmares for weeks.

But that was until they brought the cars. It was like a light at the end of the tunnel. A reason for living. Yes, she was aware that might be a slight exaggeration. But the feeling she got when she first saw them. That excitement. It was a mechanic’s dream and she couldn’t remember the last time she felt that way. It had been so damn long…too long. Working on those cars kept the nightmares at bay. And on the days that didn’t work, she would just work through the night.

Like tonight. Because while there was so much she couldn’t control, couldn’t fix; she could sure as hell fix these damn cars. Not all of them were salvageable. Hey, she wasn’t a miracle worker. But the one she was currently inspecting looked like it could be saved. Raven scores again. Cracking her knuckles and lowering the hood of the car, she tied her overalls around her waist and proceeded to wheel herself underneath it. Time to check on the axles and see if they could be saved.

Just as she was about to take measurements she heard footsteps walk into the garage. Before long, as if their presence wasn’t infuriating enough, they proceeded to make an infuriating amount of noise. Rude. Then she heard them slam something onto one of the cars. That. Was the last straw. “Hey,” she yelled. Wheeling herself back out, she saw that Bellamy was the one crashing about. He could be the damn chancellor and she wouldn’t care. This was her space. Everyone knew that… or at least they should. “Take it easy.” Nobody hurts one of her babies…cars, and gets away with it. “What are you even doing here, Bellamy? It’s the middle of the night.”

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: cherry1

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

If Bellamy was a more jumpy person, he would have been jolted by the unexpected presense that also apparently filled this room. He recognized that tone anywhere. Raven Reyes. She also made herself known physically as she slipped out from under one of the cars. Bellamy glanced at her for only a brief second before carrying on with what he was doing. Part of him wanting to bang something louder just to piss her off and be defiant. Provoking her. Which . . . well, he decided against it. Not because out of any deep seated desire to appease her. Her words distracted him from any more loud movements.

"Hello to you too," he retored sarcastically, a certain level of sass in his words. "I could ask you the same thing." What the hell was she doing here so late. But then again, he didn't need to ask. He could guess. She had been through a hell of a lot too; with Finn, Murphy shooting her, the operation, getting drilled . . . yeah. He didn't need to ask what made her evade sleep. "Ever take a break, Reyes?" He further question, somewhat rhetorically, another sarcastic tone but not as sass ridden. He turned his head to look at her, trying to figure out what exactly she was doing. To further satisfy his curiosity, he took a couple steps toward where she was working. "Get it running yet?" He asked, this time, his question was not sarcastic nor rhetorical. But strictly business. Which was always a safe topic . . . well, perhaps not always.

[cherry1]

She rolled her eyes at the obvious sarcasm in his tone. He still didn’t answer question. And it didn’t look like he was leaving either. “Yeah, a mechanic in a garage? What will they think of next?” She said with mock surprise on her face. The nerve. As if she needed any other reason to be here. No matter what time it was. "Ever take a break, Reyes?" If a car wasn’t on top of her and if she wasn’t curious as to why he was even here, she would have kicked him out herself. Bum leg and all. “This is my break,” she answered honestly. It was her break from the world, and from her own thoughts and nightmares. Where all that mattered was if the engine was working and how she could fix it or how she could use the spare parts. These days it was the only source of fun she had. But it was a hell of a source. They never had anything like it on the ark.

"Get it running yet?" So she guessed they were just going to skip over the reason he was here. After everything that happened, maybe it was the same reason she was here. To escape what the night would bring. What it would always bring. “Uhh have you met me?” she asked rhetorically, arrogance dripping off every word. “Of course I got it running.” Grinning, she looked up at Bellamy, rolling further out from underneath the car. “You wanna see?” Pride was a deadly sin apparently, but Raven had already committed so much worse that she didn’t care anymore. And she was proud. These babies were her masterpieces. No other mechanic could have gotten them running, and everyone should damn well know it. Raven glanced at her brace on top of the workbench and then sighed. Holding her hand out, she looked back up at Bellamy expectantly. “Are you going to help me up or what?”

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: cherry1

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

A mechanic in a garage. While he hadn't been questioning her role here, but rather the timing of her presence perhaps . . . he didn't argue. He was too exhausted to do so. Some people needed to let that out; to unleash their agression through sarcasm. Hell, he was usually one of them. But his fuse was not as short as it once had been. He was weighed down by too much. She claimed that this was her break, and gave a typical Raven response to his next inquiry. At least the subject was a safer one rather than any attempt to exchange pleasantries.

That clearly was not something either of them had been overly engrossed in. But this time, he rolled his eyes at her response, her rhetorical question that he did not leave unanswered. "Yeah I have. And my question still stands." Alright so he knew who she was and the tremendous skill she had. Perhaps his answer was just to further provoke her. To add heat to the already raging flame.

But he couldn't help it. The first remark he had let slide, but by that one . . . he dismissed any need to let his emotions burden him to the point of not responding. She did however say that she got it running, offering to show him and that . . . was when he saw her smile. An emotion too rarely worn by others these days. He sobered a little upon seeing it and nodded his head. Eager to see the car running, but more importantly, eager to help feed the pride she had . . . to help encourage the smile.

She held her hand out expectantly, and Bellamy didn't hesitate. Truth be told, he didn't know what she preferred. Trying to get up by herself or accepting help. Though, perhaps it was better that he didn't offer her and just follow her lead. Gripping her hand he pulled her up in one swift and effortless motion. "You gonna kick my ass if I offer to get your brace?" A somewhat offer, but one more so to gauge her reaction to see how best to proceed next. Funny the whirlwind of interactions he had with her. He went from not wanting to argue, to wanting to provoke her, to now trying not to provoke her. He supposed such was the nature of their interactions. Never quite certain where they would lead. And he had to admit . . . he didn't find anything wrong with that. In fact, it was a refreshing change.

[cherry1]

Questioning her skills was a dangerous game to play. It left Raven even more eager to prove herself and her expertise. At his offer, Raven smirked. “Damn right.” She moved past him, leaning on the car for support before slipping. Well, shit. She grabbed the closest thing to her, to avoid colliding ass first with the ground, and that happened to be Bellamy. Finding her balance again she took one glance up at him, a stern look on her face. “Don’t you dare say a word,” she warned, before realising she was way too close and still holding on to him, immediately letting go.

Finally grabbing her brace and putting it on, she turned to Bellamy, a grin back on her face, eagerly changing the subject. “Prepare to be amazed.” It was cocky but she didn’t care. There was no other way to describe it. She took a rag to wipe away the grease on her hands, and now probably on Bellamy’s, missing a spot on her face. It was dirty work, but all the best work was. Walking toward the front seat of the car, she opened the door and took two of the exposed wires in her hands. “You ready?” She didn’t wait for a response before she finally put them in contact. Raven could swear she felt the electricity running through her body as well as the car. After a moment of silence, it roared to life. “Listen to that,” she said letting out a short laugh, stroking the hood of the car. “That sound. Isn’t it just incredible?” It was like a symphony to her ears. “It’s almost as loud as you were coming in here.” Raven couldn’t resist referencing the racket he made, finally looking up at him with a smirk.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: cherry1

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy just silently watched as she moved to stand up, slipping in the process. He instinctively reacted, his arms quickly moving to her sides to brace her, practically catch her and prevent her from falling. It hadn't take a second's thought, acting on pure reflex. But it was the current position they held and the close proximity that started making his mind race with thoughts. Or well, only one thought in particular. His eyes fell to her lips for a moment, thinking back to that one night in his tent when she had come to him in the hopes of 'moving on'. Or getting back at Finn. Or, whatever it was that prompted what followed.

Fortunately, she reacted before Bellamy could, warning him not to say a word. When she broke contact, his arms fell to his side, his expression schooled, stoic as always -- untelling of what thoughts had crossed him. For it was in his mind that they had to remain. This was the last thing Raven needed he had to remind himself. The welcome distraction of the car caused him to follow her movements as she went to the seat and sparked the ignition. A roar filled the otherwise silent garage and Bellamy couldn't help but smile. Something finally went right. She was definitely right about that. It was incredible. Seeing the vehicles was one thing . . . but now hearing them?! Well, that certainly made the adrenaline pump through his veins. It felt so damn exhilerating. "You did good." He knew she knew it, but gave the validation anyway. Bellamy walked around the front of the car, looking at it before setting his hand on the hood.

"Might even be able to test it tomorrow." Take it out for a test drive. Once they were ready, the next step involved teaching people how to drive since . . . well, not a single one of them had driven a car before. There had been no need to on the Ark. But every need to down here. He rolled his eyes once again at her comment, though this time done more playfully than out of annoyance. "Yeah. The car is as big as your ego," he retorted mockingly. "How long did it take you to do this one?" He inquired, trying to figure out how long it would take to salvage the ones they could. Part of it was the safe topic of business . . . the other part of it was in attempt to ignore the adrenaline rush over all this, and how it was making his otherwise impulsive urges with her, suddenly become stronger.

[cherry1]

A test drive. Now that was the dream. Just the thought of it got the blood pumping faster in her veins. It’s why she spent day and night to do all this. She wasn’t a hundred percent sure if that could be possible quite so quickly, but hey they could definitely give it a shot. Hell, she’d hurtled herself to the ground from space in an escape pod that she basically rebuilt in 10 days. And she survived. So what was the worst that could happen? Nobody would be touching the wheel before her though; that was for damn sure. “I’ll be driving it first,” she paused. “Obviously.” Though none of them really knew how to drive a car, Raven was confident in her ability to learn how. And fast. “Then maybe I could teach you,” she said with a smirk, retying the obviously oversized overalls around her waist to stop them from slipping.

She rolled her eyes at his comment. Choosing not to answer back. This time. “I’ve been working on it for about,” she took a moment to think. “A couple of weeks.” It wasn’t long at all. But she’d been basically living in the garage. Working on the car every chance she got. “You’ve gotta admit though,” she began, jumping up on to the hood of the car in front of him, her legs no longer quite reaching the ground. He was close to her again, not like before, but it was enough to make her notice. Especially with her heart beating as fast as it was just after hearing the rev of the engine. She instead quickly pushed her thoughts elsewhere getting back to what she was saying. And hoping her previous train of thought went unnoticed. “This is a piece of art.” The engine was antique, it was all stuff she’d only read about in books. “Just wait till you see it run.” Jumping back off the car, she finally spun round to turn the engine off. Not wanting to waste the fuel. The sudden silence that filled the room helped slow her breathing. She hadn’t even realised she’d needed to. Looking up at Bellamy, her curiosity got the better of her. “So what are you really doing here anyway?”

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: cherry1

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Raven stated that she would be driving it first. With her understanding of it, that would make the most sense. And it was also fortunate that it was not her right leg that was injured . . . otherwise, driving would prove to be a hindrance. "I'm sure I'll be able to figure it out," he told her in teasing return, though his words stubborn and holding truth. He was an observer if nothing else. He could watch, and qucikly assess the situation, figuring out how to do it on his own. It was after all how he had survived since coming down here -- and even before then.

"Just try to control yourself from taking it out on any joy rides." He was teasing her . . . mocking her in fact. The appeal was certainly there though. That temptation to get behind the wheel and just drive. It made that excitement course through him all over again, despite his seemingly perfectly composed and controlled demeanor. Hell, she wasn't making it any easier with how she was sitting on the roof of the car . . . close enough to him that he need only lean in a little more and -- right. She was talking.

"It is," he agreed with her words. Though in his mind, he wasn't thinking about the car being a piece of art. He was thinking about her. He ran his tongue over his lips for a brief moment, unsure as to whether he felt disappointed or relieved by her creating a bit of distance between them. No. That was a lie. For the moment she moved from the hood . . . he knew that the disappointment outweighed any relief.

She asked a question that started to sober him up; started to distract him from . . . well, further distracting themselves. "Couldn't sleep." The answer was generic. Simple. Yet, held a weight to hit that he was casually trying to brush off. "Two weeks huh," he mulled out loud, referring to her answer to his question. "Think the others will be done faster now that you have an idea of what you're working with?" He wasn't doubting ehr capabilities. He just knew how time consuming the work was and was looking for . . . alright, so he was looking for a way to keep the conversation on business. Because talks of what was keeping him up at night, and what he wanted to do apart from talking, was dangerous territory he didn't think he should be stepping into. And yet . . . he wasn't entirely sure he could resist either.

[cherry1]

His answer to her question was…short to say the least. The words were heavy and hid something bubbling under the surface that Bellamy was clearly trying to avoid speaking about. And as he continued it was obvious that he was trying to change the subject. She understood that. Neither of them were particularly good at articulating their thoughts. But Raven was still curious. There weren’t a whole lot of people around who truly felt the weight of what Mount Weather did to them. What it took from them. But it was a difficult subject, and one she knew she might regret bringing up.

“Subtle change of subject there, Bellamy.” It was probably a risk to acknowledge it. But Raven wasn’t one to back down from a risk. “Real smooth.” They never talked about it. Not really. And she supposed a lot of that was down to her and her reluctance. It was just easier to push everyone away. But the trouble with that was that it meant at the end of the day she would always be alone. Usually she’d be fine with that. Hell she’d even prefer it. But sometimes, especially on a night like tonight, where not even sleep could bring her comfort...it just wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

If Clarke were here, maybe she would have been able to talk to her. But she wasn’t. She’d just up and left without even saying goodbye. It was actually Bellamy who'd told them she’d left. Raven still felt bitter about the memory. That he hadn’t done more to make her stay. Hell Raven would’ve knocked her out, easy and forced her to stay. Leaning back on the car, she looked away again, choosing to ignore his question about the cars. “I know what’s keeping me up at night,” she began, fiddling with the straps on her overalls, before finally choosing to look up again. “But what’s keeping you up?”

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: cherry1

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Raven called him out on evading the question she had asked. While he knew she was perceptive enough to notice, he hadn't expect to get called out for it. And at the same time . . . he supposed he should have expected it. This was Raven after all. She never held back, no matter how the blunt words came off. That was something the both of themhad in common. She then spoke of how she knew what was keeping her up, and inquired the same question abuot what made him stay awake. How could he tell her? How could he reveal that every time he closed his eyes, he saw the bodies.

Images of all the children, men, and women he had killed. Over 600. He felt like he was drowning in the blood of those he had killed. Suffocating in the pain his actions had caused. How could he articulate that? The only other person who could truly understand had left him here to deal with it on his own. The one time he had asked her to stay, she hadn't. So how could he admit all this now?

"You first," he said, suppressing all the thoughts and emotions that raced through him, his face unchanged, though a slight jaw clench indicated that her words, her question did hold some affect on him. How could they not? He was dealing with the aftermath . . . himself, from others, from Jasper. It was a constant state. "Doubt my reason is as interesting." Sarcasm. A coping mechanism to mask the pain, the fear of opening up. Though sarcasm, was only one of the many ways to do it. And another was feeling all too tempting right now.

[cherry1]

He was evading again. It was even more obvious this time if that were even possible. But she just sighed and decided maybe pressing further wasn’t the best course of action. But opening up herself didn’t sound so appealing either. “I disagree.” Pressing further it was then. Raven was aware it might not be a good idea. That maybe getting back to talking about cars would be better for them. For her. Safer even. Especially at this time of night when she could feel the tension in the room thickening the more she chose to delve deeper into this potentially volatile subject.

“What are you so afraid of?” She asked shrugging her shoulders and taking a step towards him. Raven didn’t really know what she hoped to achieve by stoking the fire. But it was what she did best. Very rarely did it ever work out well for anyone. Least of all her. But it was her defence mechanism. As hypocritical as it sounded she needed to be in control of the situation, always. And that meant being just as obvious in evading the subject as he was. The very subject that she had brought up in the first place.

So what if that was cowardly? Raven didn’t want to be brave, not now. It was an impossible situation. She wanted to broach the subject and run away from it at the same time. Bellamy seemed to be in a similar mind-set. All that resulted was very hypocritical aggression. They were both obviously frustrated and angry and broken. But Raven wasn't good at the whole feelings thing and Bellamy was probably even worse.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: cherry1

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

What was he so afraid of. The question was a loaded one. And not one Bellamy felt he could properly articulate an answer for. What was he afraid of? Himself. Of the monster that he was. Of the horrific things he'd done. The body count he had; the blood he was drowning in. That, was what he was afraid of. But . . . saying it, was not as easily as accepting it. As feeling it. As letting it weigh him down to the point of feeling like he had no soul. No humanity left within him. "What the hell is it you want me to say Raven?" His voice wasn't loud, but it was blunt; an underlying tone of anger in it. "What are you trying to get out of me?" The question was somewhat rhetorical.

Maybe it was coming from a good place; maybe she just genuinely wanted to know . . . but the fear of opening up, the unfamiliarity of it, made him act defensively instead. And he snapped rather than tactfully answering the question. It seemed that it was the easiest way for them to address the broached subject: a question with a question. "Why don't you start with what you're afraid of instead of damn well trying to force it out of me." He hadn't even realized that with how she had shifted closer, he was now standing directly in front of her.

Close. Too close. Invasion of personal space close. Yet it was not a menacing stance; not one meant to be intimidating. With anyone else, it could perhaps be percieved as getting up in one's face, egging them on for a fight. With Raven it was . . . well, he didn't know what it was really. What he did know was that with him standing so close, and their faces not all too far apart, his eyes fell to her mouth for a moment, thinking, that all he need do was lean in a little close to capture her lips. And if she spoke again . . . he might very well do that to shut her up. Though he full well knew that would not be the reason for it.

[cherry1]

She should’ve expected Bellamy’s reaction. It wasn’t like he would open up and they’d talk and have a good cry about it. That’s just not who they were. Not how they worked. They dealt with things similarly, by pushing it down as deep as they could. And running away from it all by burying themselves in work. It’s how she finished up the car so quickly. He was right of course, she had no right to ask him to open up when she was so unwilling to do so herself. But Raven was stubborn. And god damn it she was not going to be the first of them to admit to being broken.

She stood for a moment, watching the distance between them shrink into almost nothing. He was so close she could smell the anger on his breath. It left her obviously overwhelmed for a moment making her contemplate stepping back before she finally found her voice again. “I just,” her voice almost broke, causing her to take in breath, before continuing slightly louder than before. “I just wanted you to say something real, okay?” The admission forced her to look away for a moment, tears stinging the back of her eyes as the memories flooded in. Of the hurt. The pain.

“Forget it,” It was a moment of weakness. Cursing herself for it, she instead decided to turn it into anger. At him. “God.” Raven shifted forward instead of backing off, refusing to let him intimidate her. “Screw you, Bellamy,” she said viciously, pointing a finger into his chest. Her breathing was heavy, and the blood pumped hard through her veins. The anger was almost welcome. Because at least it was forcing her to feel something, anything. And it was so damn easy to be angry at Bellamy.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: cherry1

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Something real. It sounded so easy, so simple . . . and yet it was one of the hardest things to do. Something real. Something genuine. Something from the heart. No. If Bellamy opened that damn, he feared the flood that would pour out. It was only in his solitude that he could unleash his emotions. That he could let it out, without prying eyes and ears around to judge him. She turned away, telling him to forget it . . . then saying the words that sounded more like it. Screw him. Yeah. That anger was definitely more like it. He was after all the poster boy for the Mount Weather Massacre. He was the face that everyone saw, and assoicated with all those deaths.

And it was Bellamy's burden to carry, for he never wished for Monty to have that weight . . . and yet, the delinquent inevitably did. But he would take the anger. The wrath of those who disapproved of whatever had happened in the past. What was it that Clarke had said? I bear it so they don't have to. She was damn wrong about that. Because it wasn't just her who was bearing it. The anger and hurt of her leaving began to surface . . . the pain and brokenness of what he had done began to surface . . . every single emotion that kept him grounded and rational came to the top. Though Bellamy sometimes was more a man of action than words. And this time, he took action. With their close proximity and the heat flowing through his body -- a mixture of every single emtoion that flooded him, he lunged forward and crushed his lips against Raven's. This was a mistake, and he knew it . . . somewhere deep, deep down. For in this moment, he needed a release.

An outlet. The last time she had used him for one. Now, he was using her. And yet, the fact that could be forcing himself on her was not far from his mind. He didn't know how long the heated kiss lasted for until he slowly eased out of his, his forehead against hers, his lips hardly an inch apart, breathing against her own. "That real enough for you?" He questiond bluntly, rhetorically really. His tongue ran over his lips for a moment, the desire to moisten them with her own overwhelming. "Talking is overrated." A reference to her words about wanting him to say something real. When, he decided to do something about it instead. Though for the time being, everything felt like it was frozen in time as he just waited to see what she did. To see whether there was any indication to move forward with . . . whatever the hell was happening here. Or whether she was going to beat him for it.