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“That’s who you are.” Gena whispered. She didn’t need an apology, not for that. She knew who Bellamy Blake was or at least she thought she did. She had seen him at a very low point in his life, two actually and she went through them with him, holding him, supporting him as much as she could. She knew the man capable of making her cry of laughter within moments, a man with a heart of gold, who didn’t even see his own worth, but Gena saw it, which was another reason why she didn’t want him to go. There were so many. But she knew him. She knew the man she had fallen in love with, the partner she had chosen and who had chosen her. He got to lean on her and she on him, but she was not about to hold him back because she didn’t like something. This was him and she would let him go, however reluctantly, however painful it was. But she could try to make him stay, because going out there was not a good idea. It almost resembled suicide and that was not good at all. She could lose him, but still he didn’t have to apologize for who he was or who he loved. She knew that man.

“Okay.” She whispered, thinking that it was his final word. That he would not stay here, as in Arkadia. And him saying she wouldn’t lose him was a lose promise, that he would return to her. But would he? Either way she had to let him go. She had to let him leave, even though it scared her. With the apprentice being done, there really wasn’t anything that would hold him back. Gena lifted her hand of his chest to let him get up. But as she did, having to face him probably leaving, she felt a familiar sting in her eyes. Tears. She didn’t want to lose him, really. He was… right now he was all she had, apart from Raven. He was everything she had left from even the Ark. “You should probably take a cane or something. You can’t put too much weight on your leg. It would probably be counter productive."

Bellamy Blake

There was no surprise to how gentle Bellamy was handling her. He even managed to sit her up and she felt no additional pain. He was good at this, it seemed. But she couldn’t comment on it. Bellamy moved in a very careful, yet secure way. She felt safe as he helped her up and safe as he put the glass to her lips. Gena couldn’t drink much. After a few sips she felt her mouth less dry, but she felt nauseous, so she stopped, not wanting to make it any worse. It was bad enough already. But at least she had him. He made it so much easier right now. Gena imagined she would be confused, upset, feeling the pain much stronger, had he not been there. He allowed her to focus on him, on the safety he brought her, instead of this weird underlying fear, that the Grounder probably started in her. She, undoubtedly has been through a lot. It was something that she would have to deal with, but as it appeared, not alone. And as it appeared, at least her friend Raven was alive, but she didn’t think she saved her. Granted, she had warned them, but it was on them, too, that they got out. At least they were alive. Gena gently squeezed Bellamys hand, looking into her boyfriends eyes, taking comfort in the way he looked at her and the fact, that he was alive and well by her side. She had no reason to not believe him. The conflicting emotions were clearly visible in his eyes, betraying how he hurt over that day. Gena wanted to take the pain from him, yet she knew that she too was source of that pain. He was scared to lose her. It was highlighted, yet again, by such a simple, yet powerful gesture from him: A kiss. The proximity was all she needed to understand what he needed, something she needed as well: Closeness. 

Ignoring the pain as much as she could, Gena shifted to the side, making room on the bed for him. She held onto his hand, didn’t make any gesture, but hoped he would understand. This was Bell, though, her best friend, now boyfriend, he would understand her silent plea for closeness, for both of their sakes. Once settled, Gena sighed. It was now or not for a long while. She needed to speak, needed to tell him. If she didn’t do it now, she might not ever do it and that was not a good idea. The water allowed her to speak a bit clearer, but still silently. “I was in the Presidents room, because we thought he might have written the launch codes down. No such luck. I didn’t find any, so I radioed Raven about it. I didn’t see or hear him. He came up from behind. He had his hand over my mouth to silence me – Raven was on the radio the entire time. And then…” Damn that one was hard, because she remembered the pain, her own screams silenced by the mans hand. Her hand squeezed his, needing to reassure herself of how real Bell was and how not real this guy was anymore. He was in the past, Bell was in the now and in the future. “He stabbed me. Over and over and over again. And then he just tossed me away, like… like some broken doll. I had to watch him set off the self destruct. I tried, Bellamy. I tried. I warned Raven. And I heard her speak to me. I knew she was speaking to me, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t see clearly or hear what she was saying. I tried so hard to move, but I couldn’t. And then the next thing I know were” There they were the familiar tears, finally rolling down her cheeks, because it hurt. It scared her and it tore her apart inside and she had to tell him. “were those people above me. And it hurt. And I remember suddenly breathing easier and then you were there. I couldn’t really see you, but you were there. You held my hand and it wasn’t as terrifying anymore.”

Bellamy Blake

Gena was pissed. It was so not in her character, but given what she knew now – or what she almost fully confirmed knew – she knew why she felt so much anger at the moment. She was pissed at Bellamy Blake, her… Well her whatever they were. What the fuck were they? Because soon enough they would either have to define what they were or, well, do something that their relationship could probably never recover from. Honestly, with the anger in her heart, Gena couldn’t imagine how their friendship could survive this, if he was against this. Damn, she had no idea what she would do. She just knew that Bellamy didn’t turn up to talk.

When Gena had messaged him, she had made sure to mention that it was urgent. And it was. They couldn’t waste a single day on this matter, not when both their lives literally hung in the line with this. But no, even though she told him it was urgent, he didn’t show. She wanted to know what the hell held him up, so naturally she checked the Cadet program first. But he wasn’t there. He wasn’t at work. She would have understood if maybe work held him up and his superiors just didn’t let him, but it wasn’t the case at all. He was at home, she had to hear. Gena marched to the Blakes apartment. Come to think of it, she had never been inside there to begin with. How did she not remember that? It didn’t matter.

When she arrived, Gena knocked on the door, loudly, clearly angrily. “BELLAMY BLAKE!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” Gena screamed out. “IT’S NOT LIKE THE MESSAGE SAID URGENT! IT WAS URGENT!! ABSOLUTELY URGENT, As in…” Suddenly her mood switched entirely. How could he just ditch her like that. She had made it so very clear, that she needed him. She did need him for this. But what if she was all alone in this now? Gena felt the damn tears in her eyes. She stepped back. “As in I fucking needed you.” The curly haired woman turned around, letting herself slide down to the floor, knees pulled up to her chest, burying her head in her arm as she tried not to cry. Damn hormones.

At least it was fast. At least it was hopefully relatively painless and if it wasn’t painless, then maybe fast enough, that it didn’t linger and she didn’t suffer. Maybe it was a kinder death than others, even though a lot of people had died in the crash. Gena let herself melt into Bellamys side, letting him move her to him, hold her as she stared at the tablet. A little light came to life. A light indicating that it was actually charging. The damn thing was alive! The people weren’t, but this piece of electronics, which was basically a piece of crap compared to others, was stable enough to survive. Her moms tablet survived the crash and with it at least some memories.

“It works.” Gena whispered against Bellamys shoulder. She didn’t know what she was feeling. There was some form of relief that she didn’t have to be without memories, but at the same time that wouldn’t bring back her mother. Her mom was gone for good, but Bellamy didn’t let her go, he wouldn’t leave her alone in her grief and that was a comfort for her. She could lean on him now and she needed it. She needed his support in this. “Her name was Alice.” Gena whispered. She knew what he attempted, she herself had done it often, with him. Bringing up something good, instead of lingering on the bad. Gena snuggled closer as she pressed the button to bring the tablet to life. It booted. 

Gena gasped as she saw the picture her mother had as a background. It was not the Ark insignia; she changed it to a picture Gena didn’t even know existed. It was a picture in the canteen on Factory, where Gena used to work. She was on it, but not alone. “Oh my god.” It was a whisper full of wonder. Gena tilted the tablet so Bellamy could see. In the picture Genas feet weren’t connected to the floor, because someone was just lifting her up. She was smiling so bright, Gena was convinced she was actually laughing. The man lifting her up was Bellamy, grinning just as brightly, probably laughing himself. He was wearing his janitor uniform. If she remembered correctly he was lifting her onto the bar after tickling her, as she had complained of her feet aching after a double shift. She had no idea her mother ever came in after Genas work. “That was when I had a double shift. She probably came in to check on me… and left without a word after taking this picture… Mom had a picture of us… We were her background.”

Bellamy Blake

A joke? Gena chuckled at it, but oh how she regretted it. Her chuckle ended in a cough and a pathetic little whimper as that made her stomach hurt so much. She really shouldn’t laugh. She was wounded. Logically with how she lost count of how often this pain erupted inside her, at how for this moment everything seemed to stop and only the horror existed, she knew she was actually lucky to be alive to begin with. That man, that…. Monster. While she felt that pain she unconsciously clung hard to Bellamys hand. As she slowly began to relax again, she allowed herself to lighten her hold on his hand again. It wasn’t like he would run away without a goodbye. 

Gena closed her eyes as he kissed her forehead, concentrating of the feeling of his soft, warm lips on her skin, the comfort coming off of him. As long as he was there this man couldn’t touch her. As long as Bellamy was here, she was safe. He wouldn’t let anyone harm her further. Opening her eyes again, she found them stinging, full with tears, but not full enough for them to be shed yet. She looked at Bellamy, at the way he looked at her, his eyes so full of emotion, but his face, his body, betrayed something else for her, something she hadn’t expected to see.

Raven and Sinclair were save, but the rest… they were gone. She had failed. She thought she could do it, but one minute as too short. How, by some miracle, she survived was beyond her. She shouldn’t have. She should have held onto her senses longer, but there was no point in lingering on that as Bellamy probably wouldn’t let her. Not now. And he didn’t. 

His face, his beautiful face, the one she longed to see lit up in this wonderful bright smile was once more, was heavy with pain, emotional pain, but it was a different pain than the one she had fought with him for so long, it was… could it really be? It was for her? It was because he thought he lost her. The marks on his face, the dark shadows under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept, like… he thought he lost her, he looked as if it tore him apart in a way she had only seen maybe a twice, three times, but now over her. He… He was there. He was there when they carried her out, there was no doubt about it. The ache she felt, it was not physical. She wanted to hold him She wanted to make it better for him, but she couldn’t. 

“You” she began, croaking still, her voice still weak and breaking. “You were there – here. The entire time? How – how long was I out?” It must have been long and he was here. He was here, with her, even though after something like that, Bellamys instinct would be on helping his people. Yet he was here. He was with her, holding her hand and she was convinced that this gave her the strength to hold onto her life. Without him she would not be there. “Oh Bellamy…” For a moment as she lost herself in him and what he did for her, what it did in her. She forgot she was injured. She reached out, with her free hand to touch his cheek, jolting her wound. She cried out. Now the tears fell for a whole different reason. God that HURT. 

Bellamy Blake

For Gena the situation was unreal. It felt like a bad dream. The people she had just met were dead. Had Bellamy not started to limp on his way out, had Sinclair not decided she was not needed, she would have been there. She might have been dead now, killed with the other people in Mount Weather. Now everything looked like war was unavoidable and the desire and need for it was so clearly brewing in a lot of them. Gena hated the notion of war. She hated the notion of the people she loved in pain. Bellamy needed to go back. He was in pain. He needed rest. He needed to assess the damage and help them make the proper decision about this. As did Clarke. The way he spoke, Gena could only assume Clarke coming with them was the best decision for Arkadia, but also for this alliance. As the question came up for someone to stay back, she offered. She took a moment to discuss it with the others, exchanged a long, lingering kiss with Bellamy and promises of a future. She accepted the radio from him, knowing how to argue for keeping it with her and then watched them leave. In all honesty she didn’t expect anyone to address her. She, a lowly worker, was meant to act as ambassador and that would only work if she relied on everything Bellamy told her about, even if it was just in a rant. It could all work out, she knew it. 

She watched as Lexa, no, the commander, ordered everyone to leave. She could do this, Gena told herself. She could do this. She had to. “My name is Gena.” The brunette told her. “Not as much as the others. I could take down a man, if I have to, but far from gracefully. I can shoot.” But not nearly as good as the others and really what she had been taught was out of concern and the fact that she might need it one day. “Thank you for your concern, commander, but you know the people I care about. Bellamy and Octavia and all of them can hold their own. The Ice Nations Queen may be ruthless, but I am sure our combined minds will find a proper answer to her brutality.” It had to. And even if it was just to outsmart her. Bellamy knew tactics. Gena lifted the radio. “Bellamy gave me this. As soon as they have further information on the situation in the mountain, they will inform us. I do not know if you have been informed of the significance of the facilities inside the mountain, what our leaders intentions were with them, what advantages it would have held for your people as well.”


@lex

There was warmth, something she knew. Her hand. It felt like when he held her hand. He was here? He was back? The summit? But no. Maybe it was a dream? Maybe it was a wonderful apparition before she died. Gena struggled to focus on the shadow that appeared. The shadow was familiar. She couldn’t see it properly, but the familiarity began with the hand in hers, with the buzzing sound, with the shadow. Bellamy. It had to be Bellamy. He was here or her mind conjured him up. Either way she was glad to feel his hand in hers. She squeezed his hand. It was weak, barely there, but the best she could do, for she couldn’t speak. She whimpered again, no words forming, but it was, again, the best she could do. 

Jackson meanwhile replied to Bellamy. “The room she was in didn’t collapse. It barely had any damage. Those wounds were inflicted by a knife, I would say. She needs to go back to Arkadia immediately. Is Abby back?” Sinclair spoke from close by. “The Grounder. She warned us of him. He used a dagger.” The man explained to Bellamys question. He had seen the dagger himself. He would have almost been a victim. But now was not the time for that. He wanted to put Bellamys mind at ease. “We have no time. The way I see it, it’s a miracle she survived, but if we want to keep her that way, we have to get her back NOW.” 

Genas heavy eyes focused on Bellamy until they placed her in the Rover. The movement was too much for her. She gasped and then blissful numbness overtook her again as she passed out again. Nobody stopped them on the way to Arkadia. The people cleared the way, recognizing the urgency. 

Her body felt heavy, unnaturally heavy, like something heavy lay on her. There was noise around her. Beeping. Gena slowly forced her eyes open. This time she just needed to blink to see better. But her throat felt dry, like she hadn’t had a bit of water in, well, days. Looking around the first person she saw brought relief to her. He was really here. He was safe! He came back safe. No stupid heroics. “You… listened. You… you’re in…one…piece.” That was good. She was worried for him in Polis. And maybe thinking about that was easier than to even try to think about why she was there. “Did you… stop the assassin?”

Bellamy Blake