Everything Is Going To Be Alright, RockABye

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Marcus Kane

my daughter

MY RESPONSIBILITY

Bellamy was currently cradling a fussing baby in his arms. The mother of his child had just passed away. She'd been ill and left this world far too soon. He had never been in a romantic relationship with her but he had a love for her . . . a love he felt toward the woman who gave him the greatest gift this world had to offer. Aeliana. But now his daughter was feeling the absence of her mother. Bellamy had tried to give her the formula that the others had made . . . but she didn't want it. He couldn't blame her for it. She wanted her mother. She wanted her mother's milk. And Bellamy had no way of giving her that. She was fussing, crying and Bellamy was struggling to calm her down. He hadn't slept well in the past few days, Aeliana's mother had just died . . . and Bellamy was feeling like a failure of a father.

"It's alright," he told her in an attempted soothing voice . . . words he had said repeatedly but no altered outcome came from it. "I know this isn't ideal, but please. Please drink a little," he urged, his voice practically begging as he put the tip of the bottle they had made for her against her lips, the bottle that contained the formula. It resulted in her screaming, not wanting any of this. It was fortunate that they had built cabins, for it helped keep the sounds contained . . . but Bellamy didn't care at this point of the whole damn camp woke up. He was more concerned about his daughter's well being, and the fact that he couldn't help her. He couldn't bring her mother back to her.

[Marcus Kane]

Marcus was standing outside the cabin, listening to the baby cry, and thinking about the times he had missed with his own children. Thinking about how Bellamy had done this before, with a sister--Marcus' daughter. It was hard for him, and he hated to admit that watching Bellamy now, hurt him. He had never wanted children until he found out he had two of them. Now, he was older and missed what he had missed out on.

But he was here now, and he was not a man to repeat mistakes. He didn't know much about babies--he didn't know ANYTHING about babies--but he did know that people in general feed off of the people around them. Bellamy wasn't sleeping, you could see it on his face and body when he walked around. The baby--Marcus' granddaughter, was struggling as well. The combined effort wasn't helping either of them. With Octavia gone on a exploration trip, he knew Bellamy was alone.

With that thought, Marcus walked up tot he door, knocked once before pushing in. He shut it behind him, and walked over to Bellamy. "I couldn't sleep. I thought you'd let me try to for a while?" He offered, hoping his son would let him. Maybe Marcus could even talk Bellamy into resting some. Maybe then they could have a talk about Marcus stepping up to be more then just a casual role in his granddaughter's life.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Marcus Kane

my daughter

MY RESPONSIBILITY

Bellamy heard a knock at the door and wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or frustrated by it. It could be someone telling him that Aeliana was too loud . . . at which point, he would probably punch them. But fortunately, relief was the more dominating feeling, for it was Marcus Kane. His father. Bellamy still hadn't gotten the chance to adjust to this role that Marcus played in his life. With when he had discovered it, to coming to Earth, to Mount Weather . . . there had never been time for it. The past few months however, gave them a chance to get to know each other. It was an adjustment, and Bellamy was still guarded about it, but he couldn't deny the comfort of having family around. He was luckier than others, to have both a sister and a parent. And now, a child. A very displeased one.

He looked back down at Aeliana as Marcus closed the door behind him, saying that he couldn't sleep and that he had come to help. "She won't eat," Bellamy said, trying to keep the pain and defeatism out of his tone. He never gave up really, but this was different. This entire situation was different. "She misses her mother," he added on in a lower, but slightly more emotional tone. He often tried to keep his emotions from his voice but he felt weak right now. Exhausted. Heartbroken that he couldn't give his daughter everything she needed. He just . . . didn't know what else to do and felt he was on the verge of a breakdown. There were only two people he had allowed himself to breakdown in front of: Clarke and Octavia. His father may be the third.

[Marcus Kane]

Marcus walked over to his son, and looked down at the baby in his arms. Reaching out, he slowly took her from Bellamy, and then reached for the bottle. "I never got to do this for you, and I have long since come to regret it." Marcus admitted, having heard the emotion in Bellamy's voice, and knew that he was close to reaching the end of what he could. He needed rest, sleep, and some good news--and Marcus could at lest help him get the first too.

Keeping his voice calm, and steady, Marcus spoke; hoping that the granddaughter in his arms would react to that and begin to eat. While he didn't know babies, he knew how men acted when they were scared, and that remaining calm and steady for them would help them see through much. So if this didn't work for her, maybe it would work for his son. "You are exsaulted, son, you need rest. Or to at least clear your head. Let me stay here with you tonight, and help you. There is no reason for you to do this alone."

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Marcus Kane

my daughter

MY RESPONSIBILITY

When Marcus approached Bellamy to take the child, it was perhaps the first time Bellamy didn't feel reluctant to pass her over to someone else. His arms fell limp to his sides once she was out of his arms. He missed the sensation of holding her . . . but even that was numbed by the devastation of not being able to help her. Of losing her mother. As well as the exhaustion. It was evident that Bellamy's own stress had impacted the baby . . . something that he knew happened and why it was so important to remain calm around a child. But it had felt impossible now. The baby started to calm while being cradled in her grandfather's arms.

"Well here's your chance now," Bellamy offered. He wasn't bitter toward Marcus not being in his life. The man didn't know and neither did Bellamy know who his father was. He wasn't going to deprive him of the chance to get to know his granddaughter . . . nor would he deprive Aeliana the chance to get to know her grandfather. Marcus then further offered his assistance, and Bellamy immediately accepted it. He hated to admit that he couldn't properly take care of his daughter. He was a failure of a father.

"She needs her mother," Bellamy repeated, not even realizing his body had protested him standing any longer as he found himself seated in a chair. "How can I help her. I can't." He felt tears threaten to emerge, from well, everything. He couldn't sleep at night. He couldn't help her sleep. He just . . . he was failing. And he hated that she had such a father. He leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes for a moment as he forced himself to compose himself, clenching his jaw in attempt to suppress everything. He opened his eyes, watching Marcus' success with her. "She deserves better." Than what Bellamy could and was giving her. "She likes you," he added on, pointing out a very evident observation.

[Marcus Kane]

"Well here's your chance now," Bellamy told him, and Marcus was grateful there was no bitterness there. "A chance that I plan to take advantage of. One I will embrace with pride." Because the small girl was perfect and he wanted her to be proud of her family. "She needs her mother," True. "There is a lot of your mother in you, Bellamy. And when I look at your sister, I see a lot of you in her." Marcus' voice was calm and proud. No doubt in his tone. "You have played the role of parent your whole life. While I regreat you had it, you have done it well. I have no doubt that you will not be there for Aeliana, and be everything she needs you to be."

"How can I help her. I can't." He was tired, and things never looked normal when you were tired. He could see the weight of everything on Bellamy. Physically see it. "She deserves better." "No. She has her father." And a damn fine one. "She likes you," He hoped so, but he doubted it. "She liked the calm." Marcus explained. "Bellamy, you are under a lot right now. You are tired, and stressed, and you are barley holding on. Let me help you. You will be stronger if you rest for a while. Please, son. Try and get some sleep. We can talk in the morning."