The Lies We Told Ourselves, VS The Lies We Told Each Other

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy was usually very in tune to each sound and action of a woman during such relations. But right now, he wasn't. He felt more distant than he cared to admit. Less concerned with her own height of pleasure. He hated that about himself. He hated that he was doing this to her now, knowing that nothing more could become of them. Knowing that this was the last time he could allow himself to be with her. He was disgusted with himself . . . and yet did nothing to stop it. She felt so good. Her hand in his fair felt so good. The sounds she made were enjoyable to hear. And not to mention the feeling of being inside of her was too damn good to pull himself from. His fingers pressed into her thigh, quickening his pace as he wanted to reach that peak.

His head fell down and he made the mistake of opening his eyes. When he did he saw it. The space in the floor. The area where they had hidden Octavia whenever there was a surprise inspection. The sight of it caused Bellamy's actions to slow, his mind dangerously returning to the reality of what had happened. Of what he had let happen. Of what he had made happen. He hardly even realized that his slowed actions eventually came to a stop, causing him to descend unfulfilled yet the pain and ache of that was nothing compared to the one he felt in his heart. He clenched his jaw, biting back the emotions. In just a matter of moments, he had lost his family and thus, his entire world. He let out a heavy breath, trying to regain himself, trying to think of a damn place in these small quarters that wouldn't bring such pain. It was impossible. Or at least that was what it felt like.

He drew his head back, pulling out of her and wordlessly turning around, walking toward one of the beds. He pulled it out from where it was tucked against the wall, but still did not turn to face Roma. A bed. So very conventional. A surface that he had gladly given up so that his sister and mother would have a place to sleep with comfort. He didn't know what compelled him to pull it out now, or why he was just staring at it without saying anything. Maybe Roma would leave. It was what he deserved right now. And yet the more selfish part of him didn't want to sabotage whatever it was that they had. Not yet anyway. He slowly turned his head, though not his full body to face her. Just enough that he could see her from his peripheral vision. A silent gaze to urge her to come, hoping she would understand despite his recent actions of withdrawing from her before they could find that euphoria.

[Roma Bragg]

Roma was growing close! Bellamy was pounding into her, and she could feel herself growing closer to that moment that pleasure over took her! She made little begging sounds with each thus--only to have it all fall away before she could because he pulled out and stepped away! AND IT HURT! It really hurt! Not emotionally, because the shock of what he was doing was too strong, but physically! Between her legs there was a begging pain that was from being left unfinished! Crossing them trying to ease it she watched him as he moved toward the wall and pulled out one of the beds.

She was confused, but he turned his head to look at her. She had never seen him like this. It was too emotional, and too silent. Bellamy wasn't one who talked a lot but he had never been silent for long. Sliding off the table, she followed his silent command and moved closer to him, looking up at him. Her hands went to his arm, before sliding up to his face. Whatever he needed, she had planned to be tonight. Her other hand moved to brush his hair back, and she moved up to kiss him.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy wasn't sure if Roma would be angry with him for his sudden, abrupt change in position. It was why he couldn't use words in this moments to ask her to come; to ask her to stay. She couldn't stay. Not after tonight. And yet, right now, he wasn't thinking rationally. He was all too consumed with pain and every other emotion brought forth by the loss of his motehr and sister. He wanted it to be numbed by the pleasure that she could give him. Anything to distract his mind, even if it was just for a few moments.

She however understood him; comprehended his silent plea as she made her way to him. She then reached up and kissed him. It helped break any awkwarad silence that would otherwise ensue. He immediately responded to the kiss, deepening it as he slightly lifted her so that he could lay her own on the bed, positioning himself on top of her.

They had never done this in his apartment before, and if they were going to do it now . . . tehn may as well be on a surface that he had no intention of ever sleeping on. Continuing to kiss her, he didn't waste any more time. The aching need he felt for her just moments ago was intensifying. He guided himeslf to her and with a single thrust, entered her. The action caused him to squeeze his eyes shut, nipping at her lip a bittle as a further outlet for the surge of pleasure of being inside of her again.

[Roma Bragg]

Bellamy kissed her back, which eased some of the odd feelings that this has bung up. Maybe he didn't want it to be on a table, and he wanted something different tonight. Maybe he wanted to do this in his bed, since he had never done this in his bed--was this his bed? She really hoped this was his bed, that he had picked her up and put her in, because the chance that it was not was something she didn't want to think about right now.

Thankfully, he wasn't giving her time to think! Bellamy pushed back into her, and she gasped, while he bit at her lips. Her hands falling to his hips to help hold on to, and feel his pace that he would set. Her feet cam up to plant themselves beside them, so she was opened to him and could better meet each of this thrust! "Bellamy!" She begged, because with her tilted hips, he was hitting just the right places! "Yes! Bellamy!" She had not really called his name too often before, but now it was the only thing that could fall from her lip, for it was the only word her mind could form.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Hearing her say his name in the height of pleasure was . . . well, for the time being, it was just what he needed to hear. The tone in which she spoke leaving him with the hope that he could provide someone with something other than pain. He was responsible for his mother's death, he knew that. He was responsible for his sister's arrest . . . and floating when she would be at the age of eighteen. So right now, he was selfishly accepting that reminder. That his actions didn't just bring about pain. They were currently bringing pleasure. It was exactly what he needed to hear, and he didn't want to stifle any more sounds from her.

He buried his head in the crook of her neck, teasing at the thin layer of skin there. His actions inside of her began to quicken, shallow breaths escaping from deep within his throat, that were muffled from where he currently positioned his head. If anything, it made him nip her skin again, only this time it was the skin of her neck and not her lips. His head cupped her breast, massaging it tightly to feel the warmth of her chest. He moved deeper, faster, striving for that desperate need for his release and to feel as well as hear her through the cource of their vigorous activities.

[Roma Bragg]

They were growing close, and she could feel it! She could tell by his increase in speed and strength--the desperate attempt to reach what they both knew was coming! They had come to know each other in bed well, and while she had come to see that she might not know him outside bed as well, she could still tell that this was different. Something was different in this moment! Something primitive and emotional--and apart of her hoped that he was coming to need her, perhaps in the same ways she was starting to realize that she loved him.

"I'm so close," she whispered out with the little breath she could spare, as he nipped at her neck, and she felt the feeling EVERYWHERE! Her hand came up tot he back of his head and bunched into his hair as she tightened her legs around him, and felt the pinch that grew tighter, and harder to bare! "Bellamy!" I love you, she thought, making sure not to say it for now wasn't the time. This was about him, there would time yet for anything dealing with them. It was with this thought that the bubble of pleasure reached it's breaking point, and flooded her body with the tingling euphoria that was her orgasm, leaving her crying out from the relief!

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She told him she was close. So was he. This obviously wasn't their first and only time -- even if it was their last. He had learned her body. And loved the fact that they fell into such perfect sync together. Their times with one another had never felt clumsy or awkward. It just . . . flowed. So incredibly well. His continued desire for that threatened the idea he already had set in his mind. He couldn't change it though.

He couldn't keep this going. It wasn't fair to her. Right now however, he was just focused on getting them to that peak; that high. He moved quicker still, thrusting deeper into her heated core. Her name falling from his lips was a sweet sound he would miss hearing. He memorized it; the tone, every syllable and letter and the way it came from her lips in these moments of no control.

When she reached that height, he pushed only once more inside of her before he found his release within her. When he did, he relaxed his shoulders, keeping his face against the warmth of her neck as his chest heaved, working on catching his breath. His hips relaxed, as did his hand on her breast, though he did not pull out of her. Just as he felt the warmth of her neck, he wanted to feel the warmth of being inside of her and bask in it . . . just as he was basking in the ecstasy of his release deep within her center.

[Roma Bragg]

Roma was sucking in large amounts of air, and trying to catch her breath from their latest bout of lovemaking--something she had never called it before, but she was starting to think long term. While she wasn't sure she liked it, she was willing to find out. Her hand moved to cup his, and hold his hand tighter to her breast for a moment, before pulling it away and lifting it to place a kiss on his palm. While she wouldn't re-bring it up now, she was thinking one day--once he had healed from his mother's death--they could try inviting someone else into this very bed with them. She had a feeling they'd both like it.

For now, however, her hands moved to run soothing circles over his back, and she found herself smiling softly from the pleasure he'd just given her. If he moved his head to look at her, she would loose the smile, but for the moment she loved how close they felt. How he had needed someone and he had let her be there for him. Surely it meant he felt something too! Her head tilted to brush her lips over the side of his head, and she inhaled the scent of 'just screwed' form him and loved it! Sometimes they could just hold each other afterwards, and she was looking forward to a small nap tucked against his strong side. "Bellamy," she whispered over his skin, touching the wetness in his hair from the sweat. She wanted to tell him now that she loved him, but knew he needed more time.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He hated the situation. Hated that he had done this with her, when he was supposed to be pushing her away. He had always known he could never be in a relationship, and Roma had threatened that. He wouldn't exactly define what they had as a relationship . . . but then again, how was such a thing defined? Was it based on intimacy? Frequency? Emotions? Everything combined? He had to sever it, he knew that now. Yet, he continued to be selfish. He continued to keep her here, to touch her, to hold her. It wasn't fair to her. He had failed his mother. He had failed Octavia. It would only be a matter of time until she fell under this curse of failure.

He didn't deserve the affections that she bestowed upon him. He never would. Pulling out of her he turned onto his back, the single bed giving just enough space for him to at least have half of his back on the bed. He couldn't look at her. Instead, his gaze went to the ceiling, his breathing steadying as rationality sobered the ignorant bliss he'd allowed them to fall under. She had come here to check on him, he had used that.

It was so damn wrong. His tongue ran over his lips to moisten them, suddenly feeling his throat dry and tighten. How he longed for that comforting touch she never failed to provide him with. The way her hands soothed him, the way she uttered his name in that tone he enjoyed hearing. "You should go." He didn't overthink the words, but he meant them. He had to rip the bandage; get it over it. And yet . . . it was not easy. He hated how his bluntly stated words sounded. And he hated himself more.

[Roma Bragg]

She exhaled when he pulled out of her, and felt the loss of his weight as he rolled away. Roma turned to rest on her side while facing him, taking in his features. Soft moments hadn't really been her style--or even who they were together, but she could see his pain. Actually see it! It almost soaked into her body from it. "You should go." He told her, and Roma frowned, not understanding the words. Did he need to be alone? He wasn't the type to share his emotions, and she respected that. She wasn't either. It had been physical between them but he had still managed to get to her. Turn her head. Make her love him.

Her hand moved out to brush his hair back, and then drop to rest on his shoulders. It never once occurred to her that he wanted her to really leave. "I can stay," She said softly, wanting him to know she was here to help him. "We don't have talk, I can just lay here with you." It was telling of her to offer event this much, as Roma avoided things like this. Moving to rest her head near him shoulder, she planned to stay there and just hold him. Give him the time he needed to deal with what had happened. Tomorrow they would figure everything else out. She'd tell him she loved it, and he would know he had not lost everything. Tomorrow would be soon enough for all that.

She never thought things wouldn't work out that way.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Roma Bragg

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She offered to stay and based on that, he knew that she wasn't quite understanding what he was saying. He couldn't do this. Not with her. Not with anyone. This was the closest he had been, perhaps one of the most consistent interactions he'd had with anyone. It couldn't develop into anything more than that, despite how it threatened to. Despite . . . how it may have already. He had to reject the comforting gesture of her hand running through his hair, though he longed for it. Longed for her.

But no. He couldn't. Not anymore. He selfishly indulged for how long now. He had to put an end to it. Bellamy abruptly moved from the bed, pulling up his pants as he moved to a stand and fastening them once more. "I can't do this, Roam," he told her, speaking aloud his earlier thoughts as he turned around to get his shirt. His back was turned to her as he clutched the article of clothing in his hand, closing his eyes for a moment, trying to maintain a stoic composure. After a few moments he turned back around to look at her. "Not anymore." Not ever again. With that he pulled on his shirt over his head, next reaching for her clothes as he extended them out for her to take.

[Roma Bragg]

How cute. Earth Skills. As if I will ever need to know any of that. We aren't going to Earth for another hundred years, so me learning some pointless tricks on how to make fire is only wasting my time, and I have more important people to do.

Roma

He left the bed, and stood up to dress. Roma felt an uneasy feeling start in her gut. It let a bitter taste in her mouth. She had never been dumped before, and a dark part of her mind was starting to catch on. No! He was just trying to deal with a lot! He had lot his family today and she was going to forgive his bad judgment of not phrasing his request to spend TONIGHT alone. Then he added on more and held out her clothes to her. Roma sat up, wrapping the sheet around her while staring at him in shock . . . that was slowly turning to anger.

"Bellamy," She used his name as a warning. So far in their non-relationship she had not gotten angry directly at him. Not 'Roma angry'. Not kicking and screaming angry. If he was about to dump her, he was going to get angry! "You should explain yourself, because it sounds like you kicking me out of your bed, and sending me on my way because you're done?" He couldn't do this any more? Oh like it had been bad for him! She was easily in his top five! If not the best he had so far, so he wasn't doing this because he was bored! She wasn't going to be used like some bandaid and pushed aside! She had fallen for him, and he had done that, and he would damn well face the music because she wasn't going out silently!

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