Where My Demons Hide

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: scarlet

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

The chaos that had taken over the camp, was finally calming down. Bellamy, Clarke, Finn and Charlotte -- along with the others in Murphy's mob -- had all returned. Bellamy and Clarke had both decided that they were going to be the ones to set the rules for right now, and it started with the fate of Charlotte. They announced that she was not going to die. She would not be harmed. Instead, Bellamy had another plan. He knew that Charlotte wasn't innocent, but then again, no person here was. They were sent down as criminals. Charlotte was just a young girl, clearly traumatized by her past. And Bellamy wanted to help her. He wanted to protect her. She had slayed her demon -- not in the way he may have meant -- and taking a man's life was not an easy burden to live with either.

Instead of condemning her, banishing her, or harming her . . . Bellamy had devised another solution. One that he would be explaining to her as he led her to his tent. Everyone else was silent about his and Clarke's announcements of how Charlotte would not be killed. They would accept it and that's that. Once he and Charlotte were speaking in private, Bellamy turned to look at her. "No one's gonna hurt you," he told her, his voice filled with determination with this promise. He wanted her to know that. In the woods, at the cliff, she had been willing to give herself up. Bellamy wasn't about to let that happen. Instead, he had a far better -- more safe -- solution. One that would serve as justice as well as protect Charlotte from anyone who dared disagree with his and Clarke's ruling. Right now though, he just wanted her to know that she was safe.

[scarlet]

Of course Charlotte didn’t want to kill Wells, she had only gone and taken Bellamy’s advice a little too literally. As always, she never thought of the consequences her actions might have. She had never imagined that the other Arkers would attempt to hang Murphy for a crime she committed. She felt guilty, scared and most of all, remorseful. Charlotte knew she should feel relieved that she wasn’t going to be killed, but she couldn’t be. The others would surely hate her now and she couldn’t just move on; all her life she had dwelled on the past.

Bellamy was one of the only people she trusted enough to share her feelings with. She was always very scared, though she didn’t need to tell him that for him to know- it was always so obvious. But the reasons for her fear was one of the first things she spoke to him about, after all, he was the one who suggested she slay her demon. Maybe now she could live in peace, without the constant fear in her sleep. But with all she had done recently, that didn’t seem likely. Being a criminal wasn’t exactly new to her, but murder… that was a whole other level of criminality.

It was obvious that Bellamy cared for her too, since he stood up to Murphy when he wanted to kill Charlotte even though he knew full well that Charlotte was guilty. When they were alone, Charlotte looked up at him, tears welled in her eyes though she persisted in holding them back. “They will. T-they hate me. They tried to kill Murphy.” She said, breathing heavily. “I’m sorry.” She gasped, looking down. Charlotte never intended any murder, she hoped in ridding the nightmares from her mind but now it seemed like she’d turned her life into a living nightmare.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: scarlet

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He wished he had the power to fix all this. Clarke had already admitted being wrong about showing the others Murphy's knife. This all would have been so much simpler had the others continued to think that it was Grounders who had killed Wells. Now, there was unease within the camp and they couldn't afford that with all the other threats and dangers lurking about. "But they didn't," he reminded her, at her words of almost killing Murphy. He wanted her to focus on that, to think of the outcome. "Because you spoke up." Thanks to her, Murphy was alive.

And instead of seeing it that way, the bastard had wanted to kill her. Charlotte's bravery to speak up saved his damn life. Seeing her eyes well with tears made his heart ache at what she was going through. He knew what it felt like; to want that vengeance against someone you blamed. He didn't condone her actions, but he wanted to help her. She was just a kid. And no one here should see themselves as innocent, or more innocent than someone else. She apologized and it only prompted Bellamy to step toward her, and pull her into a hug, offering what comfort he could. He knew what it was like to have a little sister -- and he also knew he was the only one who could truly understand that bond. He felt that for Charlotte. A fraternal instinct toward her. "We'll get through this," he assured her. He spoke collectively because he wanted her to know that she wasn't alone. That he was here for her.

[scarlet]

Charlotte couldn’t quite grasp why the other Arkers were so unforgiving, it wasn’t like they were new to crime themselves. They could’ve at least been a little more understanding to both Murphy and Charlotte. Obviously murder was a big issue, but they had attempted to kill Murphy.

“But they would have.” she said quietly. “and I spoke up because I didn’t want to see another person hurt because-“ she cut off, embracing Bellamy and clinging to him tightly. Charlotte still felt some remorse for Murphy, despite him wanting to kill her, she knew that it was her own mistake that led to Murphy being accused as the killer.

Looking up at Bellamy, she wiped the dampness from her eyes with her sleeve and although she didn’t smile, she gave him a grateful look before returning to hug him, clinging onto the back of his shirt. He had been the kindest person to her since she got her; he made her feel accepted. Since she was the youngest, many of the others shunned her and no one came to her in the night when she tossed and turned with the endless nightmares except Bellamy and occasionally Clarke. Only now had they began paying attention to her because she had killed someone and caused widespread commotion. “What will happen to me now?” she asked in a distant voice, her whole body trembled with fear.


Tag: Bellamy Blake 

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: scarlet

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She was right about that. They would have. Murphy hadn't exactly projected himself as a friendly guy. It also didn't help thathe had publicly announced he was going to kill Wells, and then picked fights with him. Bellamy knew that if Charlotte hadn't killed the guy, then someone else wold have. Really, it was on the damn Chancellor for sending his son down here with a bunch of delinquenets who blamed the Jaha's for what happened to them, or their loved ones. "And they didn't," he continued to assure her. Murphy was alive. He felt her return the hug and it only encouraged him to keep his arms around her.

The silence was broken with her next, very relevant question. What would happen to her. After letting the embrace linger for a few more moments, he slowly drew back to directly look at her. "We're gonna keep you in the drop ship," he began to explain. "Second level." Where they could keep the place secure. It was basically house arrest. Becase she had still killed Wells, and the people -- especially Clarke -- still demanded justice for that. "You won't be allowed to talk to many other people, Charlotte. But I'll come up and see you every day." He would make sure she was kept safe, and sane. "It's also the best way to protect you." From whoever else may have a problem with their decision.

[scarlet]

After avoiding his gaze for a moment, she caught his eye and looked up, fear evident on her face, as always. She wasn’t entirely sure how to process the information, but she stayed calm. She nodded slowly, following the conversation. The others had every right for wanting justice, and Charlotte was so afraid of them that she just wanted to give in. She had attempted to give in to Murphy but failed on account of Bellamy.

“You’re keeping me prisoner?” she asked, out of shock rather than complaint. But of course they had every right to, even if she didn’t understand. It would keep her safe from the others after all and maybe it would satisfy them that she was taken away from them; maybe she’d even be able to join them again in time, which brought another question. “How long for? Will I be executed when they come down from the Ark?” she paused and rephrased the question. “if they come down from the Ark?”

Charlotte sniffled and glanced around before looking back up at him. “I’m scared Bellamy.” she hesitated before continuing. “I- I didn’t mean for this- you told me to slay my demons.” she said, wrapping her arms around herself, shaking.


Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: scarlet

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Her question was a fair one. One that made his heart ache. Why? Because this was all too familiar. Of course Charlotte's circumstances were completely different, but he still felt the familiarity of Octavia. She had been locked up, feeling like a prisoner. "It's the best we can do, given the circumstances." Given that she killed someone. He didn't see her as a mosnter for it. She like so many others, blamed Wells for what happened. But she was so young, and he never believed that death should be an option. What was it that Ghandi said?

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. She asked how long this would be for, and what would happen when the Ark came down. That was something he feared as well . . . because he knew he would be executed for his crime. He had killed the Chancellor. It was also why he had gotten everyone to remove their bracelets; so that the Ark wouldn't follow them down here. "I won't let that happen," he promised her. "This is just a solution for now. We'll figure it out the rest later," he explained to her. He and Clarke had talked about revisiting the case when she was 18 . . . but that was just a long term plan.

Who knows if they even had that long. Down here, anything was possible. Her words expressing her fear, once again, made his mind flash back to Octavia. She was reminding him of his advice . . . not meant to be taken literally, but he couldn't correct her now. He wasn't going to argue with it. He should have explained it better; made it clear that it was more metephorical. He however could not give the same advice Octavia had been given when she was scared. Or at least the bit about slaying your demons.

"Do you remember what I told you in the cave?" He asked, each hand on either side of her sholder as he lowered his upper body so that he could be at the same eye level as her. The words were referencing confronting her fear. "Screw you, I'm not afraid." It wasn't her dreams now that haunted her, but the isolation. "Say it with me," he softly urged as he repeated the statement, expecting her to say it along with him. "You're not alone here Charlotte. I'm going to protect you." From the others, from herself. He would not fail her more than he had; more than he had failed so many others before.

[scarlet]

If it was someone else talking to Charlotte now she would’ve run. But because it was Bellamy, she trusted him and she knew he was wiser than she was so it would be stupid not to do as he says. At least maybe this way she’d be safe from the grounders; but she wouldn’t be safe from her own mind. Of course there had to be a punishment, but it wasn’t like she was a threat to the other delinquents—more like they were a threat to her. She never had any ill intent in her heart when she killed Wells, it was just a last resort, she panicked. She never had been a threat to anyone else and never would be again, she was sure of it. No one else could be hurt because of her.

Charlotte nodded understandingly. It wasn’t exactly appealing to be locked away for months, even years. But she didn’t need anyone else other than Bellamy anyway so it was the brighter side of the negative situation. Except now she would be left alone with her own mind, the thing that had caused all the trouble in the first place; it was a nerving thought. She kept her eyes level with Bellamy’s. “Screw you, I’m not afraid.” She said with a small smile to reassure Bellamy. The fear had begun to reside by now, it was replaced by a calm sadness- remorse. “Thank you, Bellamy.” She said sincerely, wrapping her arms around Bellamy’s neck and hugging him again. She owed her life to him. "Do the others know?" she asked quietly.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: scarlet

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Her saying the words with him, and then seeing a small smile, filled Bellamy with hope that perhaps, she could get through this. Perhaps she could heal. And he wanted to help her through that process. He knew what it was like to have blood on his hands. She may have killed Wells, but he had killed Thelonious. Seemed that together, they'd brought an end to the Jaha family. It wasn't something to be proud of, but it was something he would relate to her for.

When she wrapped her arms around him, he immediately returned the hug. His hands rested on her back, closing his eyes for a moment, wishing Earth could have offered her a better lief. Wishing that had past pain had not caught up to her like this and caused her to kill another man. She was so young. And now she had to live with this. She asked if the others knew and Bellamy drew himself back, standing upright once more. "Yeah," he confirmed. "Clarke and I announced it to the others." The two of them would be working together now, leading together . . . but he also knew that Clarke was not happy with Charlotte so didn't want to place any emphasis on the possibility of her visiting Charlotte.

"Whoever disagrees with our decision, has gotta go through me," he said with a bit of a smirk. The words were a bit of a tease, but they also held truth. If she was worried about anyone disagreeing . . . he wanted her to rest assured that they wouldn't be able to lay a hand on her. Which was also why this was best for her protection to. "Come on, let's grab your things and head up there," he told her as he held open the flap of his tent for her to exit. She must be tired, and hungry, and now . . . she was his responsibility, which was never something he would take lightly.

[scarlet]

Charlotte was only a lost child, having lost her parents at a young age then being forced to deal with the grief. She never had anything against Wells, she never really spoke to him, and in those last few moments they shared, he was kind. It hurt her. Bellamy, literally and metaphorically, was the only thing that kept her alive. She would’ve been killed by Murphy if it wasn’t for him, or run away…

No one else was going to be hurt because of her, she promised that much. Which was why she wasn’t refusing to be kept in the drop ship; though she had returned to the innocent child she was before the killing. She nodded slowly and looked up at Bellamy with wide eyes. He was brave to stand up to everyone, to Murphy, for her. “I’m not worth it, you have to look after your people first.” She said sadly. Exiting though the flap cautiously, she attempted not to make eye contact with anyone that might be around and just headed straight for her stuff.


Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: scarlet

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She told him that she wasn't worth it. That he had to look after his people first. Bellamy paused for a moment, looking intently at her. "Hey," he began to say. His voice was not as blunt or commanding as it was with the others. With Charlotte -- for Charlotte -- was different. "You are one of my people," he told her. Him and Clarke had reached an understanding when it came to the leadership role. Bellamy wanted to protect the delinquents, he knew that. And now it was time to embrace that and stay true to this silent vow he had made to himself. Charlotte was included on that list.

She was the first one -- apart from Octavia -- that he had felt so compelled to protect. He would fight off the entire crowd if it meant keeping her safe. But he could tell by her words and demeanor that this was not something she was used to; that she was used to being alone. That no longer had to be the case though. When she stepped outside, he followed her, walking along side her and keeping his gaze toward where they were walking. He didn't say a word, but he didn't need to.

His experssion held enough meaning, practically daring anyone to come and create a problem. "Get me a ration of food," he told Miller. Nathan was one of the few people that he really trusted. He -- unlike John and Murphy -- Bellamy never had offer a position of second to control. Nathan naturally worked for this roll. "This is?" He asked Charlotte when they reached where her belongings were being kept. He just wanted to make sure she had everything for her first night in the drop ship. Though as he had said before, she would not be enduring it alone.

[scarlet]

Charlotte didn’t want to say it, she didn’t want those words to come out of her mouth. She was a murderer. Sadly, she just gave in and nodded. If he was willing to risk protecting her then it was something she would truly be grateful for. They all came down here as criminals, but Charlotte had managed to stay one while everyone else was pardoned for their crimes.


She scooped up her belongings, still refusing to look at anyone. She didn’t want to provoke them any more than she already had. Charlotte nodded and sighed. “I’m sorry for you having to deal with me.” She said quietly. To be honest, she didn’t even know how to deal with herself anymore. How could she ever redeem what she had done? She was going to have to live with the blood on her hands for the rest of her life, however short it might be.


Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: scarlet

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He watched her gather her belongings as she apologized for having to deal with her. "No need," he told her truthfully. He didn't want her to feel like a burden. She wasn't that. She was just someone that he had wished he helped; that he had done more for before she took his advice literally. He knew the burden of murdering someone, and it wasn't something that someone as young as her should have to deal with.

"Besides, there are others that are way more of a handful," he said teasingly, a small smile playing on his lips as he tried to divert the conversation and attempt to ease her mind. His words were though once again true. There were delinquents here older than her but far less mature. When she got her things, they stepped out again as a meal was handed to him. Bellamy nodded a thanks and then led Charlotte to the drop shop. Once they reached the ladder, he turnd to her. "Leave your stuff here and climb up. I'll bring them," he explained, having no trouble carrying things while he climbed, though didn't want her to struggle with it.