Metamorphosis

[amber4]

TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Bellamy Blake

Meditation was Niylah’s only escape. It was an escape lost somewhere in the back of her mind—somewhere that remembered the smell of the trees in the wind. The place she brought herself to was the shack. It was her old home, wiped away into nothingness by the death wave. Everything she had there, even the memories were simply washed away by a vengeful earth. It’s a beautiful place of greens and browns. Once upon a time, Niylah was bored of those colors.. but after so much darkness and so much grey, those trees were all that Niylah wanted to see again.

She didn’t want a war, but times were different. Wonkru’s only hope was to take that valley. Niylah’s only chance to see the birds in the trees was in that valley. Octavia... she got them through so much. Over the years Niylah’s passive ways began melting away while the world grew colder. It made things easier to serve and follow blindly. It was something that she would have never considered before but now? She couldn’t help frowning at the thought. There was so much blood on their hands.

She liked to escape to that beautiful place with the fire and the furs. She missed the smell of tea on the fire and the feeling of Bell holding her through cold weather. It was a beautiful place to be but it was in the past. He was back here on earth and Niylah wanted to be happy. She wanted to be overjoyed, but how could he look at her the same after it all? It had been years. She didn’t think that he’d wait that long. She supposed she had, unconsciously. There was no room for love in this world. Not now.

The sound of boots on the med bay floor pulled Niylah from her trance, but when she looked up her day dream simply kept on going. “Bellamy,” she muttered under her breath as she let her legs fall off the side of the cot. She couldn’t look at him—not for more than a moment. Was it guilt? She wasn’t sure. “What do you need? Are you hurt?” Octavia probably wouldn’t mind her helping her brother out—even if he wasn’t Wonkru.

Her hesitant glance over was to check him for injuries but she’d missed him. She didn’t realize it, but she had forgotten what he looked like. Her memory held onto ghosts, but it wasn’t the same as seeing him in the flesh. Her heart seemed to seize with the lump in her stomach when he looked over those sweet brown eyes. He’d been the love of her life. But she was just... not that girl anymore.

OWL

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: amber4

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy didn't know what was going on. While he expected that there would be a change in his sister and the others -- six years was a long time -- he hadn't expected, well this. To reunite with those he loved only to fail to recognize them. The numbers were significantly less, but that still didn't explain how he was almost afraid of his sister. Or how the woman he loved could barley look at him. How distant everyone seemed to those who were not 'Wonkru' yet so closely tied to each other. It was incredibly unsettling. Incredibly frustrating. And Bellamy was determined to get to the bottom of it. He had spent six years in the absence of the woman he loved, and since his return to the ground, was barley able to talk to her. He refused to to gaze at her with that same unrecognizable stare that he felt towards Octavia.

He felt he was already losing his sister. He would not lose Niylah too. She immediately questioned if he needed something. And he fought the urge to answer that he needed to understand. "I"m fine," he answered quietly, but with truth. Physically, he was fine. But emotionally, it was a whole other matter. And there it was. The way her eyes flickered away from him, that he hated the next question he would ask yet somehow it was necessary. "Can I sit?" Before, he never need ask for permission. It was a given. Spending those nights together in warm embrace, seeking out each other's company when time and circumstance permitted. Yet now, it felt a necessary to ask her if he could have but a few moments of her time -- at the very least. As if such a question wasn't unsettling enough to ask . . . Bellamy found himself fearing that she would say 'no'.

[amber4]

TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Bellamy Blake

Niylah adjusted her vest as Bellamy asked if he could sit down. Instinctively she wanted to make a playful comment. ‘You have to ask?’ but in this case, he did. He really needed to. She didn’t want him in here on the surface. His presence made her skin crawl and her stomach drop—but the electricity charging between them was an undeniable force keeping her from throwing him out of med bay. “These beds are for patients Bellamy,” she spoke without emotion as she organized and folded some bandages. She glanced over at him—her gaze fell somewhere onto his torso. “You can sit but yu’gada-in clear out if someone needs the bed.”

She approached the sink to rinse off her hands; something to do to avoid facing him. Through the mirror she watched him. He was different... his hair was longer and his facial hair had grown significantly. He still looked like Bellamy. He still had his eyes... his concerned knitted brows. It was him. That made it so much harder to be around him.

She looked at him again; those big brown eyes always had a way of making her melt. She’d always loved him, but after what they had done who could love her? He needed a good partner free of the unforgiveable. She’d given Octavia the book that started this all. The dark year had nothing to do with it—but the fighting pits? She stood by and watched as Octavia turned their salvation into their nightmare.

“Bellamy I’m busy. I...” the med bay was empty. She looked around wither lips pursed. “I don’t love you anymore and I think we should see other people.” The line was delivered with hesitation and about as much sincerity and dedication as a blowing breeze. It was an unconvincing lie so strong it made her flinch to say it. “So... Whatever you’re doing here... It’s not worth it anymore. We are too different now, Bell...”

OWL

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: amber4

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Maybe the words should have stung more. Or perhaps Bellamy on some level had been expecting them. Or . . . and this was probably the most accurate reason: Bellamy just didn't believe her. "See other people," he repeated, an underlying scoff in his tone. "You waited six years to tell me that?" The question holding a hint of sarcasm, as well as a rhetorical inquiry. He remained silent for a few moments, jaw clenched, unmoving from where he stood. "I look at Octavia and I . . . don't even recognize her anymore." The realization causing his heart to ache. Someone that was once the centre of his world, now someone else. Someone, darker.

"I look at you and . . ." He paused for a moment, eyes resting upon Niylah. "You can't even look at me long enough." He flickering gaze, often averting any eye contact since the moment he had entered this damn bunker. "If you mean what you say, then look at me. Right in the eyes and say it." Tell him that she didn't love him. "And I won't bother you again." Fighting for the ones he loved was something Bellamy had spent the entirety of his life doing. But . . . who were these people? Where were the ones he loved within this bunker? Was it too late? He didn't know. Perhaps he would never stop fighting for them, but he needed to know just how fargone they were before . . . well, before he truly let his heart break.

[amber4]

TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Bellamy Blake

She’d heard the words come out of her mouth. The weightlessness of them didn’t so much crush Bellamy’s infatuation with the woman she once was, so much as drift off into irrelevancy. He didn’t believe her. She knew it. She wouldn’t believe her. He didn’t recognize his sister, because it wasn’t his sister anymore. Somehow on some level, knowing that he’d waited, she knew that it would take more than an unconvincing lie. Unconsciously she’d waited too... It was a small part of her old self clinging to a happy place. A place she’d sneak off to whatever chance she got. She turned on Bellamy—her sharp features were twisted into an angry expression as she worked up the nerve to make him leave.

“Get off that bed,” she muttered as she stalked towards him. She waved her hand in a swift and fluid ‘piss off’ motion before straightening the covers. She tugged the corners down hard as she shook his head, still not looking at him. “Everything is different now Bellamy. Not just your sister. We all had our parts to play in the ruler that she has become. We are all different. You don’t love me either.” She drew a small breath as she turned to look at him head on. She saw through him as she walked towards him in an attempt to run him out of med bay. The closer she got, the harder her heart lurched around in her chest. This way and that—do this, do that.

“I. Don’t. Love. You. Anymore.” She spoke each word clearly, slowly and with gradual steps towards him. Her eyes were on his, but they were blurry. She stared through him, still refusing to see him. It was hard to say it with conviction. Harder still with him in arms reach. He’d been so far away for years. Dead or in the sky, far above them—away from this hellish pit. “Please Bellamy... You don’t understand,” her eyes flashed to his now and for a moment hers lingered.

“I have done unforgiveable things Bellamy—All of this, The Red Queen, the fighting pits it all came from that stupid—“ She swallowed hard, refusing to let emotion take over. The moment she did, those deep brown eyes and innate need to comfort would set in. Then it’d be over. Besides, Octavia wasn’t exactly a fan of his. “After that it only got worse so please just leave me alone and go to your friends from the ring okay? Monty probably needs help in the farm so just—kom of!” She shoved him—lightly but towards the door. First time she’d touched him in years. In her head it’d always been more romantic.

OWL