Don't Speak

[Deleted]

The fight was intense as Clarke did what she could to destroy the City of Light. Bryan's leg burned like fire, but he fought the onslaught from those who were chipped, occasionally catching glimpses of Nate fighting nearby, Pike on the other side of the room. And then suddenly it stopped. The chipped stopped fighting, many of them collapsing to the floor, and Bryan felt Nate fall against his chest head first. Bryan leaned in, giving them both support as he clutched his back, trying to catch his breath.

He was just starting to feel like he could breathe normally again, Nate able to stand on his own once more, when a sudden chill seemed to sweep over the room. Exhausted and in pain, Bryan let his eyes follow everyone else's just in time to see Pike fall to the ground. He was still already. Dead. And Octavia just left the room. No one followed her. For a moment, Bryan almost couldn't process what had happened. The fighting was supposed to be over. It was over.

No. No. This couldn't happen. But by the time Bryan's vision was clouded with unshed tears, the shock had worn off, and his expression barely contained his anger. Why wasn't anyone doing anything?! "No," he breathed, reaching for his gun and starting after Octavia.

Tag: Nathan Miller

[Nathan Miller]

They barley had time to recover from the threat of ALIE finally being eliminated. Miller had felt winded, leaning into his partner for support. His mind was not far from Bryan's own need for rest, his recent injury still causing Miller concern. But right now, they just needed a second to breathe. One, damn second. And even that, became impossible. Nathan hadn't seen it, nor any warning. It was only when the sound was heart, the blade peircing through someones chest, that Miller jerked his heard toward the sword. He watched as Pike fell lifelessly to the ground, a satisfied expression on Octavia's face before she turned and left. There was no love lost for Pike's death felt by Miller . . . but at the same time, he was still a person. Still one of them. Albeit, a dictator. Miller wondered if he should feel surprised at what happened. He was attempting to process it, swallowing back as he just stared at Pike's body. It was Bryan's reaction that was of more importance.

He turned to lookk at him, seeing his eyes welled with unfallen tears . . . and the building rage in him. Preparing to be unleashed. Miller was quick to react, immediately stepping in front of Bryan, his body pressed against the others to blcok him, his hand going to Bryan's hand that reached for his gun to stop him. "Hey, hey," he said in attempt to calm him. Miller had no idea what was going to happen to Octavia, but he did know that if Bryan went after her . . . Bellmay, Kane, and a few others would most likely do whatever they could to stop him. Besides, Miller didn't want Bryan near her right now, considering what she had just done at the danger she posed. "It's not gonna do any good," he told him in a low voice, looking intently into Bryan's eyes and trying to keep a calm and composed tone. "It won't help," he added on, one hand going to his cheek in attempt to further calm him, hoping he could reach out to him . . . long enough for the anger to pass.

Tag: @bryanbryanbryan

[Deleted]

Before Bryan could go anywhere, Nate's body moved to block him, and Bryan was half tempted to shove him off. He somehow resisted, maybe because Bryan seemed to be the only one in the room trying to go after her. Maybe deep down, he knew Nate was right, even if that only made him more angry. He attempted to catch his suddenly harsh breathing, adrenaline racing through him, now without an outlet. He only glared at the spot that Octavia disappeared to as Nate spoke, obviously trying to calm him, but hearing the words that it wouldn't do any good, that it wouldn't help, didn't make Bryan feel any better.

It wasn't until Nate touched his cheek that Bryan's gaze snapped back to him. "She can't just execute a sitting chancellor," he said through his teeth, but his voice was starting to shake with emotion now, so he kept it low. He wasn't just the chancellor to Bryan. He kept Bryan alive, made him someone who could fight, trusted him with so much, and Bryan owed him everything. And Bryan betrayed him, and the chance to make up for that was gone now.

His eyes searched Nate's gaze, looking for understanding, even if Nate's feelings toward Pike were... so wrong."She needs to be stopped," he said desperately. He hadn't known her long, but all evidence pointed to the fact that she was a problem, and she needed to be dealt with. But looking around the room again, a few people nearby had turned to look at him, but still no one went after Octavia. A pained expression briefly crossed Bryan's face as he turned his gaze down between himself and Nate, trying to regain some control of himself.

Tag: Nathan Miller

[Nathan Miller]

Miller knew there wasn't much he could say to help ease his partner's feelings about the subject. He couldn't promise that there would be a trial. He couldn't promise that Octavia would be charged. A lot of them had seen Pike as a problem, and quite Miller didn't believe it justified . . . murder. It was inevitable. They had tried to basically kill Pike before too. Miller had just thought that would be over, and it was for some of them. Octavia however, wouldn't have let it go. But Miller felt more ache over the loss for what it did to Bryan, rather than the actual man who fell victim to Octavia's wrath. Bryan further stated that she needed to be stopped . . . but the last thing Bryan needed was to go after her in this state.

He was glad that he made eye contact with him, hoping he could see reason or something, anything to wane him off this path. "We'll figure it out." Nathan couldn't promise him a lot, but he could promise him this. "Together." Because they had been divided for far too long. The tensions that had existed had devestated Miller and he just wanted to spend the next while returning to that united front that they once were. That they had managed to become again. "But right now, you need time to heal." He paused for a moment, leaning in a little to further attempt to calm his anger. "We all do." Emotionally and physically.

Tag: @bryanbryanbryan

[Deleted]

Bryan didn't know how they could 'figure it out'. What was there to figure out? Pike was dead, and it looked like no one cared. How had everyone who had voted for him so quickly lost faith in him, so much so that they thought what had happened just now was okay? But the more Nate talked, the more deflated Bryan felt. The weaker he felt. It was just him now. Even if Nate said 'together', he couldn't understand.

But when Nate leaned in, Bryan let himself lean in and press his face to Nate's shoulder, though he didn't move his arms around him. He couldn't do anything. From the looks of it, he would be the one held accountable if he went after Octavia. Right now, he just needed not get emotional. He shoved his gun back in his holster, just trying to breathe evenly. When he finally steeled himself enough, he straightened again. "I'm okay," he mumbled softly, but he couldn't look at anyone suddenly. He gently nudged Nate out of his way, meeting his gaze briefly to reinforce that he wasn't moving past him to do anything stupid, then went to Pike's body, crouching next to it.

He reached over and closed the other man's eyes, and then gave into the burning in his leg, letting himself fall into a seated position next to the body so he could straighten his leg out. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, feeling suddenly numb. Probably not long enough. He only became vaguely aware of a plan coming together later for how they would get down from the tower and reluctantly forced himself to get up and walk over to the discussion to see what he should do. He didn't say anything or offer his input, as he might have normally. He just committed himself to going through the motions of doing what he needed. He was only vaguely aware that Nate had been enlisted to help the wounded with Doctor Jackson, who must have been among the chipped who climbed the tower. Bryan focused on getting people out of the tower safely, and putting his attention on other people helped distract him for a while.

It seemed like an eternity before everyone was down, and a group was getting ready to head back to Arkadia. Bryan caught Nate's gaze as they climbed into the back of a rover to head back, sitting next to him. He leaned against Miller's shoulder, letting his head fall to the side against it. He didn't know what to say. What could he? But there was still some comfort In having Nate next to him. Somehow.

Tag: Nathan Miller

[Nathan Miller]

Bryan may have claimed that he was ok, but Miller knew better. Now was not the time to get into it though. He had at least managed to calm him down long enough for him to not set after Octavia. The distraction would be good for him, and they both set their minds to the large task ahead of them: getting the hell out of here. Polis wasn't safe and there was a hoard of Grounders ready to kill them. Whatever the others had worked out, Nathan didn't need to be a part of it. Neither did Bryan. Their involvement in these sort of politics weren't exactly where they came into play. Instead, they got everyone down from the tower safely, got into the rover and headed back home. Nathan sat comfortably next to Bryan as he leaned against his shoulder. Miller moved one arm behind Bryan so that he was holding him against him. The ride was silent.

Everyone was exhausted and still processing all that had happened. It would take time for everyone to truly heal, if they ever did. Once they got to Arkadia, Miller insisted that Bryan's leg get checked out. He took him straight to medical where Jackson did a proper check on it. He said it would need time to heal and Miller listened intently to his medical instructions, wanting to do everything within his capabilities to ensure that Bryan rested and that his wound heal without any more complications. Thanking Jackson, they left and headed to their shared room. Miller opened the door for Bryan, and closed it behind them once inside.

"Should I get us something to eat?" He asked, wondering if Bryan was hungry, as Miller took off his jacket and hung it up. There would probably be some food in storage and . . . their numbers had gone drastically down. "You heard what Jackson said. You need to lie down and rest." Miller wasn't going to let Bryan over exert himself, more than he already had in Polis. "Don't make me tie you down to the bed," he said with a bit of a smile, an attempt to tease him in a suggestive manner . . . and an attempt to lighten the mood, even if it just slightly.

Tag: @bryanbryanbryan

[Deleted]

Bryan let himself close his eyes with Nate's arm around him. He wound up falling asleep for a while as the drove, and when they got back to Arkadia, Bryan let Nate take him to medical. He didn't feel like going, but he was barely in the mood to talk, let alone argue. He went back to their shared room, and stood inside the door still for a moment, wondering why he was here. Not just why he was here with someone who wouldn't understand how he felt, but why he was still alive. Why was he so fucking lucky and the rest of his people weren't? "I'm not hungry," he said, even though he wasn't sure when he last ate. "And I'm okay," he added, because maybe if he just kept saying it, it would be true eventually.

The suggestion in Nate's last tease didn't go unnoticed, though, as Bryan took off his own jacket and hung it. It sent the first surge of... something through him since Nate had calmed him after Pike's death. Something that wasn't numbness. He let out a shaky breath, turning and moving closer to Nate before his hands went to his waist and he pressed Nate gently to the inside of their door, leaning his body against him fully. "I don't want to rest," he whispered, close to Nate's mouth, then closed the gap and kissed him. He eased Nate's lips apart, feeling his body respond like it should, starting to lose the numbness that had been shrouding him.

Tag: Nathan Miller

[Nathan Miller]

He wasn't hungry. And Miller still wasn't buying the fact that he was 'ok' as he claimed to be. No. He wans't. He knew Bryan well enough. Though, he hated this feeling of them . . . growing apart. The fact that they had changed and endured things seperately, rather than together. It had changed them, and he was terrified of losing Bryan. Not just physically but emotionally. Pike's Chancellorship had created a huge rift between them and though they had made up, Miller still felt there was something there. Something that he couldn't shake off. Maybe with time, it would disappear. He damn well hoped it did. Before Miller could try to convince Bryan to eat something, his partner came closer to him, his hands on his wait, pressing him against the door and claiming that he didn't want to rest.

Next thing he knew, Bryan's lips were against his own and Miller obviously made no objection. His lips complied with Bryan's coaxing, parting to allow him deeper access. Miller breathed into the kiss, his hands running through Bryan's hair as the heated embrace caused his body to slowly start reacting. Bryan was upset, and Miller wanted to do whatever he could do make him feel better. Besides, being with him in every sense of the word made Miller feel more alive than he ever had on the ground before. But he somehow still eased out of the kiss, forehead pressed against Bryan's, his breathing heavy from the intensity of the kiss.

"Bry," he began to say, slowly opening his eyes, looking intently into the ones of the man he loved. He wanted to see what emotions were there, his own gaze glossed over with desire and pure love. "Are you sure you're ok?" He just had to be sure, his question not meant to be discouraging, but wanting Bryan to feel like he could tell him if he wasn't. "It's ok, not to be," he added on in a low, voice, leaning in for another soft kiss, but providing opportunity for Bryan to reply to his inquiry.

Tag: @bryanbryanbryan

[Deleted]

Bryan moaned softly into the kiss, Nate's hands moving though his hair making it difficult to think, but also relaxing him some. Bryan was able to forget that everything seemed wrong, and the idea of being with Nate completely right now suddenly felt important, like he could reinforce that they were meant to be together. That they were right for each other. Even if right now Bryan was never less sure, when he felt like he couldn't even grieve the loss of someone so important to him with his boyfriend.

When Nate broke the kiss, Bryan didn't open his eyes, his brow creased as Nate spoke, because with the numbness fading, it was harder and harder to control how he felt. At least Nate didn't seem to want to stop this, and Bryan returned the kiss that followed with more hunger, wanting less conversation and more... more of anything that didn't hurt. "Okay, I'm not okay," he admitted, his voice shaking sightly. Nate already knew that, surely. But Bryan slid his hand up the bottom of Nate's shirt, moving over his firm stomach, the other hand lifting to hook around Nate's neck to pull him deeper into the next kiss as he pressed their bodies together. "Nate, please... just fuck me," he panted between kisses, his mouth getting more demanding with each one. He didn't want to talk. He didn't think he could. He just wanted something that felt good, something that felt good with Nate.

Tag: Nathan Miller