How to Train Your Husbeand

[Bellamy Blake]

Bellamy's soft smile remained as Jackson spoke of how he wished there was enough room for him on this one. "Me too," he admitted. Right now, he too wanted nothing more than to hold Jackson. While he always needed that close contact with his husbeand, tonight in particular he needed it, after seeing what had happened to him. After considering what could have happened had someone not come to break it up when they did. The thought terrified him, and it made him want to wrap his arms around Jackson to assure himself . . . that he was alive. That he was still with him. Bellamy watched as Jackson closed his eyes, saying that he just wanted him close.

Bellamy leaned forward a bit more, trying to create as much contact from their positions as he could. His hand went back to slowly run his fingers through his hair, his other hand still holding Jackson's. "I'll be as close as possible," he assured him. "And when we get out of here, I'll make it up to you," he said with a gentle tease, referring to the lack of holding right now. Though, deep down, Bellamy knew that he had a lot more to make up for than just that. Leaning down he touched Jackson's lips with his own once more before speaking. "I love you." Words that could not be said enough. Words that Bellamy wanted Jackson to hear.

[Deleted]

As Bellamy started to stroke Jackson's hair, he felt himself relax more and more, the tiredness of his body pulling him closer to sleep. Jackson shifted uncomfortably to be as close to the edge of the bed as he could as Bellamy promised to make it up to him. Bellamy didn't really need to make anything up to him, but the thought of getting to get back to bed with Bellamy was too nice to protest. "I love you too," he murmured. No matter what anyone else felt about how happy he should or shouldn't be.

He drifted to sleep a bit after that, waking a couple times in the night when someone checked on him, and he could see Bellamy stir each time too, but Jackson's body was too tired to stay awake too long to question it. When morning came, the last nurse to check on him said he was cleared to leave, and Jackson thanked her before looking over at Bellamy... who was awake and looking tired. Jackson had the feeling he hadn't slept much. "Now's my turn to make you rest," he said, with a warm, sleepy smile at Bellamy, feeling a little better from his rest, and a lot better from being told he could leave.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

The night was restless, but that was to be expected. Bellamy had closed his eyes a couple of times, without falling into much of a sleep. He was too concerned with Jackson's state, asking the nurse whenever she checked on him if anything drastically changed and such. Before he knew it, morning had come and she was telling them they were cleared to go, giving a few instructions that involved Jackson getting a lot of rest. Bellamy smiled in response to Jackson's words as the uyounger male rose to his feet.

"Nice try," he said in teasing. "But just cause you're getting out of here, doesn't mean I'm done playing my role as doctor," he added on jokingly. Though, it was true. He was still going to make sure that Jackson rested, and was still going to ensure he took care of him without him worrying about doing the same for Bellamy. Bellamy stood next to where Jackson was laying, offering his hand to him to help him sit up a little. When Jackson would shift, Bellamy would be able to better wrap his arm around him for additional support. "Come on, let's go home."

[Deleted]

"Hmm," Jackson responded to Bellamy's assertion that he still got to be the doctor, his tone playfully disapproving, but he took Bellamy's hand anyway and used it to help pull himself up, hissing at the stabbing pain in his ribs as his moved with a wince. He let Bellamy get his arm around him to support him, which helped a little as he slid to his feet. "I know what you look like when you haven't slept," he commented, just loudly enough for Bellamy to hear him as they started walking toward the exit of medical. "You're resting with me when we get back." It wasn't a request.

When they got closer to the door, Jackson pulled away from Bellamy a little. He suspected the people who attacked him were still in lock up, but he didn't want anyone who may have supported the attack to see him look weak as he walked to their apartment. He was a little dizzy, so he kept his grip of Bellamy's hand, though, just in case. "I'm okay," he reassured Bellamy before they walked outside.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy moved at a slow pace, his arm around Jackson to give him the required support. He wasn't about to protest at the notion of rest, especially if it meant getting Jackson to rest. "Yeah usually the lack of rest is for other reasons," Bellamy said a bit playfully, his voice low so that only to be heard by Jackson . . . clearly meaning that other, vigorous activities were what kept him up. Anything to help distract Jackson from his pain right now, though perhaps that was an impossibility.

As they neared the door, he gripped his hand, leaning most of his weight off of Bellamy, though the younger male remained close, prepared to offer whatever support he could to Jackson . . . despite his reassurance that he was ok. Bellamy gave his hand a gentle squeeze, resuming that same slowed pace as they made their way into the hall. "Are you hungry?" Bellamy asked, figuring he could get some food later, once Jackson was settled in their apartment. "I doubt you even ate much yesterday." Before the attack. His initial question perhaps leaving less room for protest after all.

[Deleted]

Jackson only snorted when Bellamy joked about why Jackson knew what he looked like when he hadn't slept, doing a bad job of ignoring the pain it sent through his nose. He was grateful for Bellamy's hand on his, holding his, as they walked. "I could eat, probably," he answered. He'd never made it to get dinner for them last night after not eating a whole lot at work, and had slept the majority of the time in medical. He was hungry, but he also just felt like crap, and that was trumping his hunger a bit. "I'd rather go home, though," he added. He wondered if Bellamy had eaten anything since he'd found out about what happened to Jackson.

By the time they were nearing their rooms, Jackson was feeling slightly winded. The halls were mostly empty, so he leaned a bit more against Bellamy. "You should get yourself something to eat, and then come rest with me."

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy was glad that Jackson at least had some appetite. Hearing that he could probably eat, causing the younger male to make a mental note of that. He wouldn't leave however until Jackson was settled in their apartment. He wasn't quite ready to depart his company, even though it would be for a short while. He felt his weight a little more against him, relieved that they were almost home so that he didn't have to over exert himself anymore.

"I'll get something for us in a bit." He assured him of both the fact that he wasn't going to just leave him immediately, and that he was going to get something for the both of them and not just himself. Food was the furthest thing on Bellamy's mind right now, concern and fear having numbed all else. Once they got their home, Bellamy opened the door for Jackson to step inside, following behind him and closing the door behind them.

Bellamy helped him over to the bed, wanting him to sit, or better yet lie down. "Want help getting out of those clothes?" Bellamy offered, going on Jackson's preference. "Don't get any ideas," he added on teasingly, obviously joking by questioning the intentions. Another attempt to help distract him, and keep the mood light, despite the grim reality of it. Jackson was alive though; that was what Bellamy needed to focus on. What he would focus on.

[Deleted]

Jackson was grateful to sit down when Bellamy walked him over to the bed, though he wanted to head to the bathroom. Mostly because he wanted to see what he looked like, but he could probably use it for an excuse. He huffed at Bellamy's tease about not getting any ideas, but just leaned down to unlace his own shoes. He was tired and his head was starting to throb a bit, but he didn't want to feel too useless after having been kept in medical overnight. "Do as I say, not as I do, right?" he joked back, remembering how he'd tried to talk Bellamy out of sex with a concussion, but Bellamy has been insistent. At least Jackson had managed to keep the pace slow.

He slipped off his shoes and stretched slightly, wincing a bit, then drew a steadying breath, readying himself to get up again. "Need to pee," he mumbled, then got up and made his way slowly to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. When he got inside, he leaned against the counter and looked into the mirror. The swelling in his eye had gone down enough that he could open it more, but both his eyes were black, due to the broken nose. Fortunately, his nose didn't look misshapen, just swollen and bruised. He inspected the bruising on his ribs, and the few more he could see, then sighed. He just felt... tired. And sad. He'd fucked up, and majorly, and he understood why people would be angry with him, but... this wasn't fair to Bellamy.

He used the bathroom finally, and went back to the bed, tugging his shirt off along the way. "I hope you're not planning to stay so clothed for very long," he said softly, trying to smile, to tease, but not really succeeding.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy gave a slight smile at Jackson's teasing words, fully understanding the reference. When Bellamy had a concussion, he hadn't let it stand in his way, trivializing it. Not that it was incredibly severe -- in his opinion anyway. "Damn right," Bellamy agreed, continuing with the teasing air. "I already told you I was a hypocrite," he further joked. Somewhat. He looked over at Jackson as he made his way to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Bellamy knew he had to respect his need for privacy but naturally, he was worried about his spouse. He busied himself with moving the pitcher of water on the side table and pouring a cup for Jackson should he be thirsty. It didn't take long for Jackson to emerge from the bathroom, lifting his shirt off and commenting on Bellamy state of dress. The younger male pulled back the corner of the blanket, hoping Jackson would get inside and continue the much needed rest he required.

Bellamy offered a small smile in response to his words. "Just long enough to get us some food," he told him truthfully. "You should lie down," he gently urged. "Do you need anything?" Bellamy asked, wondering what he could give him. They hadn't given him any medication to take, not even things for the pain -- though Bellamy assumed Jackson would only tell them to save it for someone else, knowing him.

[Deleted]

Jackson saw that Bellamy had pulled back the covers, and went to sit where they were pulled back before unbuttoning his pants. "Just you," he answered when Bellamy asked if he needed anything, giving Bellamy a sincere look. He hated that this happened, even more now after seeing it for himself, knowing it was another burden on Bellamy.

He got his pants off and slid under the covers in his boxers, sitting up just long enough to drink some of the water Bellamy had poured. When he settled into bed, he held the covers out for Bellamy in invitation. "I mean it. I can wait a bit to eat, unless you're starving," he said. "It's been too long since we got to do this." They'd held each other in bed the night before last, but that was still too long ago.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy couldn't help but smile at Jackson's answer. The response was so simple, and yet, meant so much. Bellamy had failed to protect him as he once promised he would . . . so anything he could do for him now, he would do in a heartbeat. Once Jackson settled into the bed comfortably, he held out the covers for Bellamy to join him . . . saying that he could wait to eat, and that it had been too long since they had done this. That much was true. Bellamy had gotten so used to lying in bed with Jackson. Holding them while they drifted to sleep. Work provided an exception every now and then, but for the most part . . . they were able to spend their nights together. After the scare of seeing the men beating Jackson, and then the fear of losing him . . . now with the pain of the aftermath, Bellamy knew that he too wanted nothing more than to hold his husbeand.

"Food can wait. Other things can't," he stated, sitting on the edge of the bed before kicking off his shoes, and slipping under the covers with his husbeand. "One night not holding you is one night too many." Bellamy wrapped an arm around him to hold him close, his lips going to Jackson's temple where he kissed him in a lingering embrace. Closing his eyes he took in a slow breath, taking in Jackson's scent, the feel of his skin against his lips, the way that he felt against his body in this embrace . . . just, every small detail. "I'm glad you're ok," he practically breathed against him. Ok, in the physical sense . . . that there was nothing life threatening. But he knew that Jackson was far from ok in other senses of the word. Right now, Bellamy just needed to reassure himself that Jackson was alive, that they were together, and that he wasn't going to lose him from this.

[Deleted]

Jackson smiled softly, breathing a relieved sigh when Bellamy said other things could wait and agreed that one night apart was too long. He slid his hand over the arm Bellamy wrapped around him, letting his eyes close as he enjoyed the kiss to his temple, and the way Bellamy seemed to be savoring this as much as Jackson was. Fortunately, Jackson was able to roll to his side, his bruised ribs on the other side, and wrap his arms around Bellamy in return. "Me too," he whispered, feeling a little emotional again.

He was glad to be okay in part for himself, sure, but he also couldn't imagine how much it would have hurt Bellamy if he'd died. They hadn't even been married a month, and that was the best decision he'd ever made, but it was also the scariest, and he was sure Bellamy felt it too. The thought of how hurt Bellamy would have been by his death was the only thing that actually made Jackson a little mad about this whole thing, now that he thought about it.

He pressed his lips to Bellamy's cheek, letting them linger there as he ignored the way the tip of his nose pressed a little painfully there. "I'm so sorry, Bell," he breathed, his voice shaking a little.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy wondered how selfish of him it was to bask in Jackson's warmth and comfort, given by the wrapping of his arms around him. The way their bodies were pressed together, and then the kiss of his lips against his cheek. That crippling fear experienced at the thought of losing Jackson had been all consuming. While it was a natural fear to hold every single day, it hadn't been as close to a reality as last night. And that, was what had terrified Bellamy. Hell, he still may have been terrified by it had they not caught the people responsible for the attack.

Bellamy hadn't even realized his eyes were closed, just soaking in this moment, until he heard Jackson apologizing. Bellamy opened his eyes and slightly turned his head to make eye contact with his husbeand. "Don't be," he told him in a low voice, but one thick with sincerity. Jackson had nothing to apologize for. Bellamy knew first hand, from his own personal experience, when a beating was deserved. He'd had his won fair share of them.

But this . . . what happened to Jackson, wasn't deserved. Bellamy knew Jackson well enough to know that nothing he could possibly should provoke or justify such a violent attack. He was too good. "This isn't on you, Jackson," Bellamy added on, his hand of his arm that wasn't wrapped around him, gently touching his cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner." Bellamy may have stopped it, but he didn't prevent it. So his actions were not good enough. And Jackson had suffered the consequences of that.

[Deleted]

It wasn't unexpected for Bellamy to tell Jackson not to be sorry. It didn't make Jackson any less sorry though, as he held his husbeand's gaze. Bellamy continued to say that what had happened wasn't on him, but Bellamy didn't now what they'd said, why they'd done what they had. Jackson's eyes closed at Bellamy's hand on his cheek felt good, comforting, but Bellamy's next words made Jackson open them again in confusion. "Didn't...?" Jackson started, but then it sunk in. Bellamy must had been the person, or one of the people, who broke up the fight. "Bellamy, you can't be omnipresent," he whispered, his voice serious as his eyes went glassy, because it meant Bellamy had seen him at his worst, bloody and unconscious. "You can't prevent every bad thing from happening to me."

He sniffed, trying to control is emotions. "Especially when I deserved it. I just... expected it sooner." His fingers stroked up Bellamy's side, slipping under his shirt, thinking in the back of his head that Bellamy was still far too dressed for bed. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I'm sorry you saw me like that... and have to see me like this."

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy listened to Jackson tell him that he couldn't be omnipresent. But it wasn't good enough. Bellamy knew that he wasn't good enough, the responsibility of protecting his loved ones ingrained into his mind ever since he was a child. If he failed, that was on him. And he had done so, several times in the past. This time, with Jackson. He was conditioned to protect them; doing every in his power to try . . . yet it seemed he failed more than succeeded.

Bellamy looked at him, a slightly raised eyebrow as he took in Jackson's next words. "What do you mean you deserved it?" He questioned, rejecting that statement completely. "Why would you think you did?" That didn't make sense to Bellamy, why Jackson felt he deserved that sort of beating from people who Bellamy hadn't even known held any connection to Jackson. Nothing within Jackson's capabilities would warrent that sort of agression. Bellamy felt the warmth of his hand on his skin, his head still turned to look him.

"You have nothing to apologize for," Bellamy assured him. "I just . . . wish you weren't going through this." The trauma of the attack. The aftermath. The pain of his injuries. "I'm sorry that you are," he added in a low voice, leaning toward Jackson just slightly to brush his lips over his husbeand's. He knew that a sorry wasn't good enough; and desperately wished that he could do more to help. That he could somehow magically erase all of Jackson's pain.