Foto Hef | Bad Man

[Deleted]

Zoran wanted to break free from his parents arms and run after Theo. There was an ache in his heart and a knowledge that whatever the bad man was planning to do to Theo, it was going to be, well, bad. That was why he called him a bad man, after all. But his parents held him tight and he watched as Theo got knocked out and dragged away. His eyes shined with tears as he watched until his new friend could no longer be seen. All he had left now was the little horse from the game that Theo had called chess. Zoran wouldn't even get the chance to learn how to play it.

Once Theo was no longer anywhere in sight, Zoran's father went back into the house, talking about packing their stuff and leaving as soon as they could now that they finally had a horse. As much as Zoran felt some excitement and relief run through him at that, the finality of them being able to go to the City of Light, it didn't make it as far as his face. His face felt heavy, as did his body, finding it impossible to really feel any sort of happiness after Theo being taken away. Also feeling a distrust towards his father, finding it difficult to accept that he had given Theo over to the bad men. How could he have done such a thing?

There was no way he was going back inside with him yet. Zoran didn't want to. "Nomon, why did he do that?" Zoran asked, his voice cracking just slightly on the words. "Why did Theo have to go with the bad man?" He took a step away from his mother, putting distance between them so he was no long standing against her but held her hand, finding comfort in the familiarity of his mother's touch. He needed the comfort. He was scared for Theo. He was sad for his father. He felt guilt for not managing to get Theo out to safety before it was too late.

Tag: seren1

[seren1]

Sienne watched as the man came and took Thelonious, on some level she felt guilty to be taking her son's new friend away from him. She knew that Zoran had taken a liking to the man and there was rarely a chance for him to make friends, not when they tried to keep their distance from travellers. It upset her to know that they were taking his only friend away, but it was necessary, they had to get to the city of light and to do that they needed a horse. The horse they gained in return for turning the sky person over would help them to reach their destination, then Zoran would be safe, they wouldn't have to worry about harm coming to him ever again. She didn't expect her son to understand, he was a child and it was likely that all he saw in that moment was that his friend was being taken by someone that meant to cause him harm and his parents were letting it happen.

When Osias walked back inside their tent, Sienne was about to follow when she heard her sons voice in her ear, immediately she turned her attention to the child, hearing the emotion in his voice. "He had to go Zoran, while he was here and we were sheltering him, we weren't safe" she explained, trying to make him understand "you weren't safe" she couldn't keep a sky person under their roof, it was dangerous. "What do you think would have happened if your father had told him that we had a sky person with us and then he came and found that we'd been lying to him?" she asked her son, knowing that the outcome would not have been good for them. Protecting him had always been her priority, he didn't need to understand, he just needed to be safe.

"Your father and I only want what's best for you, Zoran" she gave his hand a gentle tug, not wanting to force him into going inside if he didn't want to, but knowing that they had to leave as soon as possible now that, that warrior had seen them. They had to be gone by the time that he came back, if he did come back, there was the possibility that he would and they couldn't be there if he did. "Don't be mad at your father... He just wants to keep you safe and now that we've got a horse, we can do that" she looked towards the animal and offered a son a small smile "you'll see when we get to the city of light, you'll never know what fear is again" that was her ultimate goal, so that he could go through life without having to keep his face covered and could live without fear.

@zoran

[Deleted]

Instantly, Zoran didn't like the words that his mother gave in reply. That they weren't safe with Theo around. That he wasn't safe with Theo around. They were the same words that Theo had been telling him when he gave himself up to the bad man and Zoran didn't think that any of them quite understood. It was leaving him feeling frustrated and even pulling him towards an anger that he didn't often feel. "But now Theo isn't safe!" he shouted. That was what he needed to get them all to understand, that it didn't matter that Zoran was safe now, it matter that Theo wasn't safe and that Zoran knew the bad man would hurt him. Everyone knew who the bad man was, that being taken by him would lead to no good. To even having him find you in the Dead Zone was bad.

This was simple knowledge. Then his mother asked him a question, asking him what would have happened if the man hadn't found Theo when he came. "That doesn't matter!" That was all Zoran could say because that's all that seemed to matter. Theo was his friend and now he was going to be hurt and it was both the fault of Zoran and the fault of Zoran's father. "Theo is nice, he should have ran away while he could," Theo said, his voice quieter now, more full of sadness and of disappointment. Finding himself coming to a realisation that his parents didn't care about Theo's safety at all, that it was just him caring about it.

As his mother said, they only want what's best for Zoran. Not for Theo. Not for Zoran's friend. He ignored the tug that she gave him, still not wanting to go inside. "Maybe you should want what's best for other people too." Zoran hated hearing his mother tell him not to be mad as his father, knowing that she honestly meant it, knowing that she didn't lie. She just didn't care about what Zoran cared about. It was so frustrating. There was another little feeling of excitement in him, even in all the negatives Zoran felt, at the mention of the City of Light. The way that it had always been talked about was hopeful, it was their promise land. But Zoran didn't feel happy about going there after what had happened. He was sad. Guilty. "I'll still be scared for Theo."

Tag: seren1

[seren1]

Sienne didn’t mean to upset the boy, but she didn’t know how else to explain it to him. She didn’t expect him to understand, not completely because he was just a child. She knew that he was scared, scared for the man that he had befriended. The sky person was not safe whilst in the hands of the commander’s men, but they couldn’t go after him, to go after him meant endangering her family and she would not do that. She didn’t owe Thelonious anything, he had been a friend to her son, but that didn’t mean that she was willing to put Zoran’s life in danger. “Theo wanted you to be safe Zoran, he went with the man, we did not force him to do that” she told her son “he will be fine, if they wanted him dead then that man would have killed him just now, instead he took him alive, they need him and as long as they need him they won’t kill him” she didn’t know that, she had no way of knowing that but if there was a chance that Zoran would find some truth in her words and calm down then she didn’t mind lying to him. Not if it meant protecting him.

“It’s all that matters!” she corrected him, raising her voice for the first time since the argument had began. She didn’t make a habit of yelling at him, she rarely needed to, Zoran rarely fought with her or Osias. “You are all that matter to us, your safety! Not Theo and not anyone else!” she thought that Zoran knew this, he’d seen how far they would go to protect him, they’d killed to protect him and she knew that it was more than likely that they’d have to again in future. “Nice doesn’t keep you safe out here, you have to be strong and know when to make hard decisions” even if the decision you made could endanger somebody’s life, even if it seemed morally wrong. Sienne knew that to keep her son safe she had to make hard decisions and she had to make sacrifices, the sooner Zoran realised this, the better. He couldn’t save everyone. On some level she was proud of him, proud that he was able to see the good in people and proud that he wanted to help people, despite having been rejected by people so many times and growing up isolated because people couldn’t accept that he was different.

‘Maybe you should want what’s best for other people too’ Sienne heard Zoran’s words and knew that they were probably true. She had been selfish, only thinking about her own family when she’d had so many opportunities to help people in need in the past, but that was who she had to be to keep her child safe. She knew that she could help people, but if helping people put Zoran in harms way… If he ever came to any harm because she chose to help somebody, she didn’t know if she’d be able to live knowing it was her fault, not when the past twelve years of her life had been dedicated to keeping him safe. “Maybe, but I can’t afford to do that right now” when they’d reached the city of light and Zoran was safe, then she could start thinking about others, not before then. “I know he was your friend and I know you’re worried about him, but right now we have a way of getting to the city of light and we have to take the opportunity that has been offered to us"

@zoran

[Deleted]

As much as Zoran hated to hear the words from his mother, she was right to a point. She was right that they hadn't forced Theo to go with the bad man, that he had made that decision himself. Theo had told Zoran the same sort of things that his mother was now telling him, that the bad man would hurt his family if Theo didn't go with him. That he was protecting Zoran. But Zoran didn't care as much as everyone wanted him too. What he cared about was his new friend and that fact that he would now be hurt. Zoran didn't get to have friends and now one he got had just been taken away.

His mother spoke of how they took Theo alive, of how they could have killed him on the spot but didn't. Zoran could see the logic in that, he knew of the harsh ways of some people, he knew the bad man would hold no reason to take Theo alive unless they needed him alive. But... Zoran was still scared. He was so scared for Theo and he didn't know what to do about that, what he could do that about that. Zoran had seen so much, done so much in his life, scavenging the Dead Zone, escaping from people who wanted to hurt him but he felt like he knew nothing that could be done to help Theo. "They could still hurt him," he said, eventually, his voice coming out weaker as tears began to pool in his eyes.

Zoran flinched as his mother raised her voice, telling him that his words were wrong. Telling him that he was all that matter to her and his father. The tears that had begun to pool in his eyes started to fall, silently trailing down his cheeks. Zoran didn't like to cry, he hated the stinging of his eyes and hated that it made him feel weak. Zoran wanted to be strong, as strong as his parents were. At the same time, he cared, and he hated so much that Theo had been taken. His mother's words saying that nice wasn't the right thing to be, that they needed to be strong... it only made Zoran feel worse about his tears. He lifted his hands to try and wipe the moisture from his cheeks, hide the evidence of that weakness.

Part of Zoran just wanted to hug his mother, but he just kept hold of her hand, not having let go of it still, even when she shouted at him. He sniffled, wiping away more tears as they fell. "I'm sorry," Zoran eventually said, more for the tears than anything else. He still felt annoyed and confused and scared about Theo, but what could he do? "It still isn't fair," he muttered. "He did nothing wrong. He was almost dead when I found him." More tears fell and Zoran tried to wipe them before they could be seen, as much as it was completely obvious by now that he was crying.

Tag: seren1

[seren1]

Sienne was unsure about how to make her son understand that what happened had to happen, not without him going back to the same point that they’d sent his friend away with someone that could hurt him. He was young and she was sure that with time he’d come to understand properly why they did it and why neither she nor his father cared much for the sky person’s safety when handing him over could give them all a better life and make sure that Zoran could grow up in safety without having to worry about covering up his face for the rest of his life. Sienne didn’t want him to grow up fearing strangers and always worrying that somebody would see if he uncovered his face. She wanted him to have friends and be able to play like the other children his age, when they were outcasts in the deadzone, he couldn’t have any of that.

“They could still hurt him” Sienne agreed, repeating the boy’s words with a nod of her head “but there is nothing we can do about that now” they didn’t know where he’d been taken and although the man who’d taken him couldn’t have gotten very far yet Osias was unlikely to agree to go after him. Sienne wasn’t even going to give that idea a serious thought, it would please Zoran if they somehow managed to rescue his friend, but it would put them all in danger and if either of them were injured or worse, Zoran would be vulnerable. “You don’t know what’s going to happen to him, you’ll probably never know what happened to him after the man took him but that’s just the way things worked out and you have to live with that” they all had to live with the things that they did and the things that they didn’t do. There was no way to change what had happened and Sienne knew that whatever happened she would always do what was best for her family, even if that meant that somebody else got hurt.

When she noticed the tears begin to leak from his eyes and his hurried attempts to wipe them away before they could be seen, she wanted nothing more than to pull him to her and reassure him, to wipe away his tears and to calm him so that his crying would stop. However, that’s not what she did, she didn’t want to upset him further and knew that he might not want her to touch him when they’d sent his friend away, despite his hand still clinging to hers. ‘I’m sorry’ when she heard his apology, she was confused about what he was apologising for, he had nothing to be sorry about “don’t be sorry, you’re upset… It’s okay to be upset” she told Zoran gently. She’d raised her voice at him, but she wasn’t mad at him, she was frustrated that he couldn’t see the reasons for them turning the sky person in, but she could never be mad at him for that. The only friend he had, had just been taken away, she couldn’t be mad at him for being upset about that.

“Sometimes things aren’t fair” she sighed in reply to him saying that it wasn’t fair, she knew that Theo hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t tried to harm them or spoke about plans to harm anyone else, he just didn’t belong, not in the eyes of the warriors who were hunting sky people. “Sometimes you are punished even if you are innocent, people are scared because you’re different and different scares them” Theo was different and Zoran was different, that was something they both had in common. There were people out there who were prepared to kill them for their differences, the only difference was that Sienne had protected Zoran from those that wished to harm him, there had been no one to do that for Theo. “Come here” she gestured for her son to come to her as she noticed more tears falling down his cheeks, it was an invitation for him to seek comfort with her, he was free to decline the invitation if he wanted to, but it was there if he needed her.


@zoran

[Deleted]

The ones thing that Zoran had always found from his mother was comfort. He knew her words were meant to be that. He knew she was trying to be nice but firm, but really, emotion was all that mattered an her words only helped to set off the streaming tears. "I don't like not knowing," Zoran said. The last thing that he wanted to accept was that he would never be able to help Theo and that he would never even know what happened to his friend. It was such a sad fate to put to the man who had been so kind to him. All Zoran really wanted was to save Theo and to have his friend, and in that moment, he would trade the City of Light for that, even with all he had seen his parents do to get them there.

It wasn't worth going to the City of Light if Zoran was going to hold that guilt with him. "I just want my friend back," he mumbled. He would rather be happy and have his friend.

He didn't reply to much else his mother said. He listened to her say it was okay to be upset. The fact that she didn't understand why he was sorry only made him cry more. So much frustration fueling each tear that slipped from his eyes. He listened as she said that sometimes things weren't fair. His eyes dropped to the ground when she said people were scared of different because he knew that. It was hard not to realise that people hated him solely because he looked different to them when it was the reason he kept his face covered.

Zoran even stayed silent when his mother gestured for him to hug her. His voice was silent but his actions were anything but. Even with how he didn't like so much of what his mother had said, how he wanted her to fix everything and go bring back Theo, Zoran couldn't say no to the comfort from his mother. It was the one thing he didn't think he could ever really say no to. He took a step back towards her, wrapping his arms right around her waist. "Theo doesn't have anyone to protect him," Zoran eventually mumbled, "Not like me."

Tag: seren1

[seren1]

She knew that her son was hurting and she knew that it was hard for him when he'd spent his whole life isolated and unable to make any friends. At least she had Osias to talk to when she felt lonely but Zoran had nobody to talk to, she knew that there were some things that kids didn't talk to their parents about. She couldn't be his mother and his friend, she tried but he needed friends and they'd just sent his only friend away "I know" she muttered in reply to his words "nobody does, it's just how things turned out this time" he was young and she didn’t expect him to understand everything that she was trying to tell him. She’d never had to explain something like this to him and had never thought that she would have to.

When Zoran told her that he just wanted his friend back, she didn’t quite know how to respond. She knew that he wanted his friend back but that wasn’t going to happen and there was nothing she could do to comfort her child but hold him and try to calm him with her embrace. She knew that Zoran would get over the hurt and betrayal that he was feeling at that time, she didn’t know how long it would take him to move past him but eventually he would understand that they sent his friend away to protect him. Sienne never purposefully wanted to cause her son pain and hadn’t expected him to react in this way when he’d barely known the sky person. She knew that sometimes children formed strange attachments to objects or people and she knew that she should’ve expected Zoran to react to the situation in this way, especially when he’d had so little contact with people outside of herself and his father.

She hugged the child when he stepped back towards her and she felt his hands slip around her waist and she felt that familiar wave of relief wash over her that he’d accepted the gesture. It was hard to know that her son was angry with her, even if she did hold a firm belief that he’d move past it eventually. “Theo can look after himself” Sienne tried to reassure the boy “just like one day you will be able to” part of her worried about how much her son cared, worried that it might be a weakness that he could not afford to have in the dead zone. If they failed to find the city of light, Zoran would have to learn to defend himself against people who might want to harm him, especially when he wouldn’t always have his parents there to protect him.

@zoran