A Stain On My Soul

[Luna]

Kom woda ‘so gyon op, gon woda ‘so kom daun

from water we are born, to water we return

L

una's hands were shaking, her entire body trembling. She was in the confines of her room, somehow mercifully offered a break from the recent fight. It was not her turn anymore. Her first round was over. It was all over. At least that was how it felt to one of the Natblida's. It should not have happened like that. She had never murdered anyone before like this, and the first person she was forced to kill . . . had been her brother. She had held his body until Titus announced the winner. Yet there was no victory felt in Luna's heart or mind. No pride or earned praise. She had just murdered her brother and . . . she couldn't do this again.

The next round she would fight Lexa, another dear friend and that was something else she could not bare. The knowledge of having to kill the others had been ingrained in them during their upbringing . . . but nothing prepared her for the actual act. Her brother. The one she had grown up with. The one that she loved. Now dead, by her hands. Is this what being Commander was? Is this what it took to be a Heda? If such was the case, then Luna could not do it. Call it strength or weakness, this was not her. She looked over the bowl of water, trying to frantically scrub her hands clean of the blood that seemed to permanently stain her skin. Her entire body still shaking, tears staining her cheeks as she struggled to breath.

The opening of her door caused her to spin her head around, fear crippling her as she thought it was one of the others to summon her back to the battle. Back to the fight to the death. And she couldn't do it. But it was Derrick. A friend. He must hate her for what she did; he must think her a monster. For she certainly saw herself as one. "I . . . " She began to breath, more tears staining her eyes as she turned her head back toward the bowl of water. "I can't go back out there," she managed to get out, sniffing once the words fled her lips. There was no choice though. Kill or be killed . . . yet at this point, she would pick her own death over being forced to kill another. She couldn't take another life. She refused.

tag: @derrick
notes: did some slight god modding! hopefully I got the plot and timeline right
for this thread! Let me know if I should change anything!

crafted by Molly Josephine ☁

[Deleted]

Luna

Derrick didn't bother knocking. He opened up the door and he immediately wish he hadn't. The look on her face, the fear, the tears. "It's just me." He hated the fact that his coming in had startled her so and he wished he could to do more to help her. But what could he do? He padded towards her, reaching for one of the cloths next to the water bowl and dunked it it. Making sure it was wet enough, he squeezed the excess liquid before reaching for her hand so he could help wipe away the blood.

"I'm here for you, always Luna. You're my friend." Oh how weak he sounded when she had just come back from a battle to the literal death. He hadn't witnessed it, he hadn't been allowed too but he knew the gist of it. Brother and sister with only one winner to go on to the next round. He didn't want her to go back out there. Luna was not a killer and they made her take the life of someone she cared deeply about. If this conclave never happened, never existed then Luna would not be in this state. It was unfair and nothing he could do would erase her pain.

Derrick thought for a moment. How could he stop her from going back out? This was what she had trained for, to become Heda one day. Her life was worth a thousand of his. He couldn't just up and tell them that she wasn't going to fight because he'd be killed and she'd still have to go through with it. "Then you won't. We hide you away until this is all over." It was a desperate attempt in a desperate situation. If she wanted to hide then he would help her. If she decided to face her next round he would support her. Luna was his friend first, and that meant supporting their choices even if they were painful.

"Luna look at me." He spole, gently but firmly, "whatever you decide, whatever you want, I'll be right there with you. Okay? You don't have to do this alone because I won't let you."

((ooc// it's perfecto! and i am so sorry for these feels ))

[Luna]

I didn't flee the conclave because I was afraid I would lose

I fled, because I knew I would win.

L

una's hands didn't stop shaking, not even when Derrick came to help wipe the blood. Could she ever truly stop seeing it? A stain on her skin. Her hands, a constant reminder of the life she had taken. A life that was so precious to her. Now gone. He told her he was here for her, and the words would give her comfort . . . if she wasn't completely in shock of what had just happened. Unable to accept that her brother really was dead. That she had been the one to make it happen. It was Derrick's next words that finally brought forth a reaction from her. Albeit, belatedly. When he told her to look at him, she did. Turning her head, eyes wide with wonder. What he was suggesting . . . the possibility of a way out . . . was it truly possible?

"H-How?" She questioned. Finally able to speak, her words stammered and hardly smooth. Staggered breaths escaping her. "They'll kill me. They'll kill both of us." If they were caught; if discovered. And she could not have any more blood on her conscience. Derrick was the last person left that she so deeply cared about. She would not survive his loss. "Wwhere will we go?" Why was she still speaking of this even? "N-No." She abruptly turned her head away, shaking it slightly, trying to push the thought out of her mind. "I can't . . . we can't leave. It's too dangerous." And yet, she couldn't go back out there either. So what was the alternative. She hadn't even realized that her water soaked hands now clutched at Derrick's shirt, as if afraid of letting him go. Of what that would mean. For the only safety and security she found, was with him.

tag: @derrick
notes: ALL THE FEELS!!

I have peace right here

crafted by Molly Josephine ☁