Future commander and future king

[ash]

Aden

Having been banished, the other prisoners did not take kindly to Roan. Many recognized him, not many were happy to see him. He felt it, with ever punch they strategically dealt to him. Grounders, specifically the warriors he was locked up with, knew how to deal out punches and cuts, that would not openly be seen, but leave pain. All the marks they had given him, future scars to join the ones he already had, were easily hidden by his clothing. How wonderful. And nobody bothered to even check on the wound inflected on him by wanheda. 

When Roan saw the door open, he expected someone to either come for one of the lowlifes in his cell, or for him. He expected punishment. It wouldn't surprise him if Lexa had him executed for trespassing on lands he was banished from, nevermind that he acted on her orders. Why else lock him up? If she had no intention of letting him go or undoing his banishment, the only other logical reason was to make an example of him, to show his mother, that she would indeed kill her only child.  Roan barely recognized the people coming in, but the importance was't lost on him. He got up, slightly dragging a leg, favoring one due to pain.

"Have you come to kill me then? Get on with it! I'm bored!"

[Aden]

Aden walked just behind his guards as they led him down to the dungeons, nobody had questioned him when he’d requested that they accompany him down there. It was unusual for a natblida to venture down to the dungeons but with the permission of the Heda, it was allowed. Aden rarely ventured down there, like his siblings he preferred to stay away from the shouts of the criminals that were locked down there but today he was venturing down there to retrieve one man that wasn’t your average criminal. Prince Roan of Azgeda had been taken to the dungeons to be held there whilst his mother’s army posed a threat to Polis. The prince was far from innocent, but he’d committed no real crime so the natblida was to show him to a room where he could live out the remainder of his stay in relative comfort, he’d still have guards stationed to watch him but at least this way he wouldn’t have to stay in the dungeon with the scum that the commander had locked up.

As the door to the opened, Aden stepped slowly into the cell, flanked by his guards who made sure that none of the prisoners came too close. The boy watched the man who addressed them, he guessed that he was the prince, he hadn’t actually met him before. The commander kept her nightbloods well protected and Azgeda were too unpredictable to trust around the children that could be the future commander. However, none of the other prisoners had the courage to confront them, the majority of the other prisoners were criminals that were nothing, nobody would notice if they went missing one day, they were used to being looked down upon. This man was somebody who was used to being heard.

“Prince Roan, I assume?” the young natblida spoke to the man, he was shorter than the prince but he made sure to stand up straight with his hands folded in front of him so that he looked taller than he actually was. “Would you like to come with us, or you could stay here if you’d prefer?” he suggested, he didn't acknowledge the prince's words knowing that he'd probably just said them to provoke a reaction. He was used to handling matters such as this much more leniently than the commander and a few of his natblida siblings but he still got the results he hoped for through doing things his way. Of course, if the prince refused to follow them from the cell then he was always prepared to order his guards to take him by force, he'd rather it didn't come to that though.

ash

[ash]

Natblida. He recognized it by the the way the kid held himself. He had a certain pride and modesty on him, that only kids destined for greatness, prepared for great loss, could hold. It showed in the way he tried to make himself taller, taller than he needed to hold himself. He was not an imposing figure, but Roan was not a simple brute. He had a brain. He knew not to mess with those kids. They were the future commander. If his mothers plan did not come to pass. He knew better than to antagonize them, if he could help them. What happened caused him to not exactly be on his mothers side anymore. He knew, if he played his cards right, he could go home and home certainly didn't necessarily mean go back to his mother where she could control him.

Roan nodded to the kid. He had no idea why to follow him, then again  he knew better to not do it. Roan didn't know if it was kindness or if he truly meant to execute him - he was on banished grounds, on Lexas orders, yes, but she had been flippant enough for worse before. Everyone knew as much. Roan wasn't willing to openly play with this fire. "You know a bit of information would help." But his expression softened. The way he held himself reminded Roan of a young prince having to do the same. It had been expected of him. "You don't need that around me." He began, softly. "I know all about making yourself taller to meet the expectations. You meet them, just by being yourself. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Your power and greatness will come from within."

Aden

[Aden]

"The commander has asked me to show you to a more comfortable room" Aden explained, knowing that he couldn't expect Roan to follow him without telling him where they were taking him. The prince did seem understandably curious about where they were intending to take him and Aden was willing to explain further, perhaps when they were somewhere where they couldn't be overheard by the other prisoners. "If I were you, I'd accept her offer of the room" it was certain to be more comfortable than staying in the dungeons, Aden hadn't been down there long and already he couldn't wait to leave. Aden knew why the prince had been exiled from Azgeda and that was one of the reasons why he didn't believe he deserved to be kept down in the dungeons, he wasn't really a criminal, he hadn't committed any real crimes and so in the eyes of the young nightblood, he didn't deserve to be kept down in a cell with real criminals.

Roan's words did take Aden off guard, he wasn't expecting to be met with kindness from the prince, if anything, he thought that he'd be more hostile than anything else. Growing up in Polis, he'd rarely been told to 'just be himself', Aden definitely couldn't ever imagine those words coming from Titus' mouth. His lessons didn't include teaching the nightbloods to be themselves, it was all about training them up to be the next commander and to fit that role, they had to be strong and look the part. "Sometimes things don't allow for you to be yourself" he tried to keep the emotion out of his voice, it was something that the nightbloods were taught to do, so that they didn't appear weak in front of their people if they became commander. Titus had told them that it was important to remain strong and hide any signs of weakness, apparently showing emotion was weak. The prince obviously knew that Aden was putting on an act, in order to appear taller and more like the commander people expected him to be if he won his conclave. Even if he wasn't physically very large, he could make up for that in the way that he carried himself and that was what he tried to do, especially when handling tasks set for him by the commander, such as this one. "I expect you know what it feels like, to have people watching you, wondering if you'll live up to expectations"

ash

[ash]

"Those are exactly the reason why you need to be yourself once in a while." He pointed out. As the one who was so clearly older, Roan knew a thing or two about that. "Being someone else all the time just doesn't work." And he tried. He had to. There were so many people around him, expecting something when he was still the Prince. He hated being forced to be someone he was not. But it was his job, his role. Over the time he learned to separate his role from his personality. The kid might not be there yet. Or he was and Roan had not realized it yet. It didn't matter. At least he would get a better room. It was the least she could do for her betrayal. She had promised to let him go home. Granted, his mother might have ruined it in parts. 

"Yes, I have." Roan admitted. "It has been like that my entire childhood." He admitted. "It was always me carrying out what my mother - and others expected. I was to be a prince, to fullfill a role and not move from that." But he had moved from that. Especially in his banishment. He mentally detached from his mother, but he still missed his people, his home. That was so far from him again. He was, once more, a stranger in enemies land - and he would be that until he left the lands of the 12 clans again. He had to. "That and my banishment taught me, that the role you fill is never who you really are. It's who you have to be, but you can't loose who you are. It would weaken you in a way, that commanders might never understand: Commanders don't live long enough to experience it."



Aden

[Aden]

Aden had to admit that the prince’s words held some truth, pretending to be someone that he wasn’t all the time was tiring, having to hide who he was and always worrying about slipping up and showing others who he really was, but he couldn’t afford to be himself, not when people expected more from him. The only times he could really be himself was when he was with the other natblida’s when the only people who could stumble upon them acting like children was the commander, Titus or perhaps a guard. “You have to make it work” he argued, his brow furrowing as he spoke “to be a good leader, you must put first the needs of your people and forget about your own” he’d been taught by Titus that their people came first and if he became the commander, he would have to learn to disregard how he might be feeling and instead do what is in the best interests of their people. They needed a leader, not a child. “When your people rely on you, you can’t afford to be weak, you have to be whatever they need you to be” he expected the prince to know this already, he was older and probably wiser than himself and had more life experience than he did.

“Have you ever wanted to run away from it all?... I mean before you were banished and forced to leave” he questioned Roan, genuine curiosity in his question. He’d definitely felt like that once or twice, more during the early days when he’d first been brought to Polis, but after time he grew used to his new life in the capitol and his thoughts of leaving had decreased until eventually they stopped all together and he realised that running away wouldn’t be beneficial to anyone, not even himself, not when he had nowhere else to go and even if he somehow managed to find his way back to his home village, he wouldn’t be accepted back by his parents, they wouldn’t want a coward for a son. “Most commanders don’t live long enough to experience it” Aden corrected him quickly. He’d heard that commanders led fairly short lives, their lives were too filled with danger to be long, it was why the natblida’s had to start training at such an early age, to prepare themselves for their conclave and leadership if they won the right to become heda. Aden didn’t see any reason for his own conclave to take place any time soon, he didn’t like to think about it despite knowing that it would happen inevitably, it was just a matter of when. “We’re taught to distance ourselves from our emotions here, so that when the conclave happens that it’ll be easier for us to defeat our opponents and so that we can’t be weakened by love or hatred or guilt” it was hard to be himself when he was taught to disregard the thing that made him human, his emotions were the only thing that set the real him apart from the person that he had to be.

ash

[ash]

"Of course I did." It was a question that he could answer simply. In his environment, it was easy for a young boy to imagine a better life. He was surrounded by it. He was surrounded by other boys being embraced by their mothers - and more importantly their fathers. He watched them be encouraged by them, empowered. He watched as their parents told them they could do it, instead of being told they had to do it or suffer from the absolute failure of this. And he wondered how his father would see this. How his father would have been. "But I stayed. Out of loyalty to my people, to my mother. " More to his people, though. The duty was always present in his mind, too. It only left in recent years and for good reason. He might still be the prince, but a banished prince could do nothing.


"So they tell you to give up everything for your people. Yourself, your emotions, your health. Some of you won't even live to see the next day. But then you are trained to give everything and yet you get nothing back but an early death sentence. You don't even get the luxury to make a decision to be a healthy leader." And a healthy leader was not someone who gave themselves up, not in Roans mind. 


"Look at it that way, if you go and give a hungry person your food, you will both starve. You won't have food anymore and once you are gone, there is nobody to give the hungry one food. But if you share it, keep enough for yourself to properly feed you, both you and the hungry one will live and feed. If you give up so much of yourself, you can't take care of your people. it serves everyone better."


Aden

[Aden]

It was reassuring for Aden to hear that the prince of Azgeda had felt the desire to run away from his duties before. At least he wasn’t alone in feeling that, he had to believe that it didn’t make him a bad person for wanting to flee from his responsibilities. Roan claimed that he’d stayed out of loyalty in the end, Aden thought that that was a good reason to stay. It was important to be there for people who needed you, Aden knew that much and he knew that he had a duty to stay for his conclave because he would have to be there to lead his people if the spirit of the commander chose him. 

Aden’s brow furrowed at Roan’s words, he figured they made sense but they went against everything that he’d been taught, by Titus and by Lexa. “Maybe to be commander, you must be prepared to give everything up for your people?” Aden answered him uncertainly. He had been taken to Polis when he was very young and since he’d arrived he’d always been taught that certain emotions were weaknesses that he could not afford to have. They were pieces of himself, but he’d had to cast them aside because his teachers taught him that they’d only hold him back and endanger his life more than it already was. “We know that our lives will be short, we accept it because it’s unavoidable…” the conclave would happen, it would take the lives of all but one of the natblidas and one would survive to lead the coalition. Aden didn’t like the idea of having to fight his siblings but it was what they were training for.

As Roan spoke, his words only confused Aden further “that makes sense” he admitted, it contradicted what he had been taught but he couldn’t deny that what the prince said made sense perfectly in his mind. “You’re saying that it would be better for our people if we didn’t give up parts of ourselves?” he asked Roan looking for clarification. He wasn’t sure if Titus would approve of the prince speaking to him in this way, putting different ideas in his head and making him believe that there was a better way to be a good leader that didn’t mean he’d have to give up on the parts of him that made him himself, but Aden knew that Roan’s words made sense. That was enough to plant a seed of doubt in his mind about whether he and his natblida siblings were being taught in the best way.

ash

[ash]

"No." Roan said simply. The kid was actually listening. He could learn. He could become greater than the commanders before him, if he learned and looked at the other side as well as his. One woman once listened to Roans side of the story, to the small voice of the people voiced through a wide eyed prince and she paid for it with her life. But this was the way it went at the moment, with a cruel mother and a war that was fought in places he didn't even know war could reach. He paid the price. "Leaders always have to give up parts of themselves. What we want is no longer important. What our people need is. Our own ambition is what we have to give up. But not everything of us. Not our honor. Not our morality. Not our personality. We are but servants to our people." Or at least that was how he understood leadership.

"Costia, your hedas lover understood that. And yet the world was not ready for the way she thought. The way we thought. We both paid a price for that. Hers harder than my own." He suspected Adan knew exactly what price Roan meant. He washed his hands in innocence of her final fate, but he acknowledged the fact that their discussions aided all of it. His mother disagreed with Roans view on the politics of their people, thinking him too soft and so that encounter was never viewed as good. Costia was killed, in parts for this. He was banished, in parts for this. He knew their culture was not ready for their ways yet. But he hoped with Skaikru being around it would become ready soon enough.

"Wouldn't it be easier to look at your people and know with a good conscience you have done everything you could do within reasons, than look at them and know that you went too far? I can look at mine and know, with a longing to go home, that I have done everything I could. I tried to reason with Costia and my mother. I failed. But I tried and I accept that punishment. I'd give my life for Azgeda. Yet I long for home. That is a part of me I will never give up."

Aden