A feline friend

[Clarke Griffin]

@harpermcintyre

She was hungry. And hunger meant she had to hunt. Hunting, however meant she had to find something worth hunting. Clarke had her eyes set on a panther. That would bring her not only food, but the pelt, maybe a few things to trade, too. It could set her for a while, making it less worrying for her to just stay alive while she couldn't go home. With the passing weeks the now red head had gotten used to hunting. So used, that tracking the panther and setting up a trap that allowed her to kill it, was done easily. Clarke barely paid attention to her surrounding. She had gotten the panther. It was dead. Clarke was jsut starting to tie the animal when she heard mewling. It was a pathetic sound coming from the cave.

To her horror a single little feline came out. The panther was a mom! She killed a mother... she killed another mother, she should clarify. And all of a sudden Clarke was frozen by the horror. She was a murderer. Who cared if she ate? She took the mothers life and she couldn't bring it back, but... someone had to rais the baby. She wanted to raise the baby. 

Without even thinking about it she gently picked up the panther kitten. There was only one place she could go with it. Camp Jaha. If she wanted the kitten to survive, that was where she had to go. And there was one person she knew to go to, someone empathetic enough to help her. Someone who had history with her, loyalty to her and for whom she had loyalty, too.

Clarke was careful. She managed to get into Camp Jaha - Arkadia now. And she managed to break into a room where she sat the kitten down. She was curled up in Clarkes jacket, after Clarke gave her some of the water she found in Harpers room. Clarke sat on the floor, waiting for her friend.

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG The days were often long with training, leaving Harper tired and ready to do nothing but shower, eat and sleep. That day was no exception. With training over for the day, Harper dragged her sore and sorry self back to her room. She had no intentions of doing anything that night, no plans to go to the bar or eat with others. Her clothes stuck to her body with a layer of sweat, as did her thin hair. While it wasn't an odd thing for her or the others to leave training in such a state, today had been particularly bad and Harper had received more than one comment about her current looks as she had been leaving. It didn't bother her, she'd shouted some sarcastic crack back at them and went on her way. The only thing on her mind now was the shower that she most definitely needed. That was why she couldn't say she was particularly happy to walk down the hall and find that her door was open. Not completely, not enough to see into the room but just a crack. It was obvious to Harper at that moment that someone had broken into her room. A swear escaped under her breath. Out of all the days someone had to decide to do such a thing, it had to be a training day. Harper was a part of the guard by then and if it had been a day when she had been working, she would have had her gun on her. Her gun wasn't with her on hand-to-hand combat training days, it was kept hidden in her room. She could only hope that whoever had gotten into the room had yet to find the weapon. It wasn't that Harper had too much to worry about. There wasn't any way a grounder could get inside the camp and there was a truce present anyway. And the Arkers mostly got along, there hadn't been any major crime since Arkadia had been set up but there was always a chance of firsts. Harper wanted to swear again. She wanted to do more than just that. There couldn't be a worse situation, to have her room broken into on a training day and one where she wasn't even in any position to fight. Her muscles ached and she could still feel the sweat covering her from head to toe. But there wasn't much choice but for her but to deal with it on her own. No one else was around and if she went to get help, the intruder could find her gun and cause problems in the camp. Taking in a deep breath and pressing herself against the wall next to the hinges of the door, Harper pushed open the door. Her head peeked around the corner, looking in with the main first intention of searching for weapons and people. But especially weapons. Her thoughts didn't drop from the fact that her gun was in that room and not on her person. There wasn't a weapon anywhere in sight. At least, not the kind that could likely hurt her in the short-term. Harper's jaw dropped open as she stared into her room, finding that the intruder was no one other than Clarke and that she hadn't come alone. Eyes widening, Harper ran into the room and shut the door completely behind her. She couldn't risk someone else walking by and seeing what she was seeing. Harper knew that this wouldn't be allowed and for good reason at that. As her shock quickly faded, anger came to replace it. It was Clarke. There was a kitten in her room. And it was Clarke. "You left." It was the first thing that Harper could manage to say. For some reason, it seemed more important to her than the animal that Clarke had brought into Harper's room. "You left us in that mountain and then you left us again!" She was shouting by then and she probably should have been keeping her voice down but that wasn't on her mind. Being careful not to step too close to the kitten on the floor, Harper walked over to Clarke. There were tears pooling in her eyes but she wasn't sad, she was angry. This was the girl who she had been friends with on the Ark, not just friends though. They had been more than that before they had both been arrested for their different reasons and put in the Skybox. Then, in their second chance, they had become friends again in the early days on Earth. Awkward at first but it had happened and Harper had put hope that it was going to be a strong friendship at the very least and that maybe they could even get back what they had had on the Ark. "Get your pathetic ass out of my room and take that--" she pointed to the kitten "--with you." At first she might have been thinking of helping Clarke but her anger took over, she didn't want to see Clarke any longer. The girl didn't deserve her help. Clarke Griffin || I didn't plan this, Harper just reacted. Clarke better work this out. XD

[Clarke Griffin]

She left. She knew that. She knew it would be brought up. But it would not be the worst of it. It couldn't be the worst of it. Most kids were so blinded by the potential of Mount Weather that they did not think there could be anything wrong about how good that was. But it hadn't been good. And she had seen it. "I left because nobody believed me." It was too good to be true to Clarke. But the others wanted it to be true. She had no choice. She had to investigate. "I was on my own in my suspicions, what was I supposed to do? I have to look into it." And thus she got opportunistic. Freeing Anya was logical to try and achieve peace.

"I left because I couldn't ... I can't..." She couldn't even say it. She had killed. She was a monster. The kitten proved it. It was a mistake to come here. She realized it the moment Harper held her accountable for those instances instead. Not for the death she caused, not for all the lives she took, the blood that was on her hands. She had come here for selfish reasons, Clarke was aware of that. She also left for selfish reasons. Because she had to. She was falling apart. Clarke reached for the little kitten. The poor animal. Getting up with the animal, she felt tears burn at the corners of her eyes. What made her think there was a way for her to help this animal? Death followed her. It was a mistake coming back. It was simply a mistake thinking she could undo what she had been through. It was a mistake thinking she could do something for herself. Clutching the animal to her, she felt a tear slip. "It was a mistake coming here." She whispered. "I should have known I wouldn't get to fix myself."

@harpermcintyre

@harpermcintyre

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG The worst heat of her anger had come out in her shouting, and Harper found herself calming down just enough for some of the fog to clear from her mind. That wasn't to say that she still wasn't angry, she was. She was angry and she was hurt and while there was a part of her that wanted to feel relieved to see Clarke alive and in front of her, it was squished down by those negative feelings that were still controlling her actions and her words. "Nobody believed you?" Harper repeated, hurt starting to break through the anger in her voice. "Did you even think to talk to me about it? All I knew was that you were gone, that you'd left us." As she managed to get the last couple words out, her tears overflowed from her eyes and Harper wasn't sure whether they from her anger or her hurt now. Harper's mind was racing from her memories of Mount Weather, memories she had been trying so hard to forget. The flashbacks she had experienced for weeks afterwards had left her in a constantly weak state and now as they happened for the first time in weeks, she felt like her legs might collapse under her. "We had no one but Mastermind Jasper--" Jasper had obviously helped them to survive but every time her mind went to Mount Weather, she couldn't help but think of Jasper as the reason she got drilled "--and I got drilled, Clarke, and you had just left." Harper had no idea if she wanted to hug or punch Clarke in that moment so she made herself stay planted on the ground in front of her. She seemed to have enough self-control to know that she wouldn't want to do something she would regret later. "You can't what, Clarke?" she asked, the words coming out quieter than her previous ones. Her breaths were strained as she tried to stop her tears, tried to stop the breakdown. If Clarke just hadn't thought to turn up in her room, she wouldn't have had to deal with this, with her emotions and with the fact that she felt so much hurt towards the other girl. But then, she didn't want to think of Clarke not being there because she would then be back to having no idea if Clarke was alive or dead. Which was worse? "You could have been dead, Clarke. Dead. I wouldn't have known," she whispered. Now that Clarke was standing, the kitten in her arms, Harper moved so she was standing close in front of her. She glanced down at the kitten, she almost didn't want to know why Clarke had it. It couldn't be good. Then she glanced back up at Clarke, eyes running over every part of her face as if she were checking to make sure that she was actually there and actually real. Clarke Griffin || Gosh, I'm gonna start crying. XD

[Clarke Griffin]

What would have been the point? Everyone she had talked about where all over the idea that Mount Weather was a sanctuary for them, their salvation. The thing was, she eventually even believed it herself. Eventually she saw the possibility in it that she might be wrong, that she might be seeing ghosts, being so deep in denial about the people she lost, one of which she lost for good. "Because eventually I didn't believe myself." Because Jasper had been so convinced. Because there was a true possibility they didn't lie. There was a real possibility she was just in denial about the potential death of Finn and Bellamy. She stopped trusting herself and she didn’t want to condemn the others because she couldn’t. “Because I believed it myself eventually!” She felt her lips quiver, still threatening tears.

“I wanted to.” She admitted. She wanted to be dead. For a long time she wanted it, because it felt like she deserved it. But then she knew it was the easy way out and she deserved the pain more than the easy way out. Clarke clutched the animal closer, seeing it as the comfort she had. She had no idea what she had been doing. She was terrified, confused, lost. Leaving was logical at that by that point. “I killed 600 people, Harper. I wanted to… I deserve death.” She deserved nothing but the worst. “How could I come in with you when I … caused all of this? I… just wanted… peace... I’m bringing death… I shouldn’t be there.” She should be out there, maybe doing that: Dying.



@harpermcintyre

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG Harper's heart dropped and if she were to be completely honest in that moment, she had no idea what to say. If Clarke had just told her what she thought, what was going on, maybe Harper would have been on her side. After everything that Clarke had done when they had been at the dropship, Harper had trusted both her and Bellamy. Yes, she may have trusted Bellamy more than Clarke but she still trusted both of them and thought of both of them to be good leaders. "I would have believed you," Harper said but even as she said the words, she couldn't find herself believing them and she doubted that Clarke would. Would she have really believed her? Mount Weather had been absolutely perfect in those early days before Clarke had disappeared and she hadn't had any doubts about the fact that they were safe. She had heard the rumors about Clarke but she had chosen to ignore them and to let herself enjoy the safety that the mountain had brought. With her comment on how Clarke had been dead, she had expected absolutely anything but the reply that Clarke gave. Harper's eyes widened and she felt her heart ache. Suddenly she was looking at the girl that she had known on the Ark, the happy and smart girl who had cared about Harper, had helped her and who she had...possibly fallen in love with. At the very least, the girl she had liked so much more than anyone else in her life. Now, this same girl was admitting that she wanted to die. Harper wasn't even sure if she heard what Clarke said then after that, she could see that Clarke was talking but that wasn't her main concern. There was a battle going on in Harper's mind and she didn't know what she wanted to do next. How could she just stand there and be angry at Clarke after such a confession? The anger was still there, bubbling now below the surface but what she mostly felt in that moment was concern, was sorrow. Ignoring the fact that Clarke was holding a kitten that could very likely try and hurt her for doing such a thing, Harper took the last couple of steps forward and wrapped her arms around Clarke. It wasn't a tight embrace. It was awkward. With the kitten in between them Harper found it difficult to really hug Clarke but she did the best she could. Just the simple thought of Clarke being dead, of wanting to be dead. Suddenly, at least for that moment, it didn't matter that Clarke had done so much wrong in Harper's eyes, Harper needed to comfort her and she felt a strong need to protect her. "You do not deserve to die," Harper simply said, getting the words out in between sobs. Her eyes were beginning to sting from tears. She hadn't even realised that she'd still been crying so much. "You are not dying," she added. Clarke Griffin

[Clarke Griffin]

Clarke froze when she felt Harpers arms come around her. She didn’t believe for a moment that Harper would have believed her. On top of it, she didn’t believe she deserved that believe even back then. It was a traumatic experience, one that had set up for what happened later. Everything, every step she took, forged her, made her into what she was right now and what she was, was not a person she could look at. That was why her hair was the shade of red that she had caused in TonDC and Mount Weather. She had killed. Finn had killed in her name and yet she was incapable of dealing. She was incapable of being cold and calculated enough to walk away from allies to let them fend for themselves. She walked away to fend for herself and not burden them, yet that in itself was a mistake. She had punished herself by isolating herself. But looking at Harper now, she knew, instinctively, that it would be very similar with the others. Who would see her decision as something she needed? Who would accept that maybe Clarke needed something other than to protect her people? Who would accept her as a person, who was broken and just couldn’t put herself together again and couldn’t let others try to put her together again. She was a mess. And she was sure that this was something she would be faulted for instead of ultimately have people understand, that maybe she was broken, too. Maybe she had ptsd, maybe It was not 

The kitten squirmed between them. Clarke still didn’t move. She felt the tears now, falling freely. It was more though. There was more. She felt pain, so much pain in her. Her legs started to shake. She couldn’t let go of the cat, meaning she couldn’t angle herself to keep balance in Harpers arm as her legs gave out with an anguished cry by the formerly blonde. She fell to her knees, now crying into the fur of the animal who she had orphaned. Why was she forced to deal with all of this, all the pain and decisions and heartache. Why was this on her? Why? She didn’t want it? She wanted to save lives once, not take them. The kitten now managed to squeam out of Clarkes grasp, staying close, while she all but fell forward, tears falling onto the unfamiliar floor, taking some of the hairdye with them, so red streaks colored her cheeks like they did before. Like she was crying the blood she had spilled.

@harpermcintyre

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG It was obvious the way that Clarke froze when Harper wrapped her arms around her but she didn't let that put her off, she kept her arms around the other girl and held on for dear life. She could have been holding on for Clarke's life, with the words that had come from Clarke's mouth. There was one crystal clear thought in Harper's mind through all the emotion that had come from seeing Clarke and it was that Harper would not let her die. She wouldn't. She couldn't. In all the anger Harper still cared so much for her. If she didn't care, she wouldn't be angry. While she had used it in her words before, being drilled wasn't the main reason for Harper's anger towards Clarke. It was the fact that Clarke had left, not what had happened because of that. It had been the forced separation. Now that she had Clarke there in her arms, she wasn't going to let that happen again. She didn't know how or why because she knew when this calmed down that her anger would still be there but she didn't want to know that worry and fear again. She didn't want Clarke to go out and do something stupid after what she had just said. Then Harper felt the kitten moving between them. And Clarke fell down onto her knees. Harper hadn't had her arms tight enough around Clarke to fall down with her but she still did, on purpose so that she could stay in Clarke's level. Harper had absolutely no idea what to say as Clarke cried. What could she say? She had already said what she had wanted to, that Clarke would not be dying and those words would not change if she said them again. In that moment, Harper didn't really feel like there was anything to be said so she knelt in front of Clarke and just watched helplessly as the cat squirmed away from her, and then how she fell forward even further. She stayed there quietly, letting Clarke cry until eventually she decided it was time to speak again. "Clarke," she began, not really sure what she was going to say. She paused and looked down at the red stains on the floor. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She didn't know why that was what she said, she wasn't even sure if she was sorry but she didn't feel like there was anything else she could say. Clarke Griffin

[Clarke Griffin]

Sorry. She was sorry. That felt like the one thing she could say that didn’t felt helpful at all. If she was sorry, why was her leaving an issue when eventually all of them would have probably at one point left Mount Weather if that was the only option they had for survival and in the end, it might have come to the point where it would have become Clarkes only option at survival. She hated the situation. “I didn’t want any of this.” Clarke finally cried. Because she didn’t. “I didn’t want to make those decisions. I didn’t want to leave you. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to kill those people. I didn’t want to be the leader. But I had to. I have no other choice.” At least she felt like she didn’t have any other choice in this. It was always moving. And she couldn’t step down. She couldn’t let people handle the lives of people she cared about and sit back. She worried too much. She wanted them safe. She wanted it over with. She sacrificed her soul for it and her relationships. Right now it didn’t feel like she would fix them ever again.

“I killed, Harper. And I didn’t want this. And I know I can’t come back from this. I was terrified. I was terrified of your reactions.” She was a coward. She couldn’t face them or herself. Tears were still falling. She couldn’t stop them. She was coming undone in this way and she knew it was only possible because once upon a time she had relied on Harper being her best friend and she had taken that away all by herself. “I missed you.”

@harpermcintyre

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG When Clarke finally spoke, Harper looked up from the floor to Clarke's face. There were red stains all over it, like they were on the floor, making it look like Clarke had been crying blood. Whatever Clarke had used to colour her hair red was running out and now colouring anything else it could touch. As Harper listened to Clarke, she found herself having to bite her lip to stop herself from interrupting her. If Clarke really hadn't wanted to leave her, then why had she? Why did she leave Harper? Why did she have to destroy everything they had by leaving her to the pain that Mount Weather had then brought upon her. The anger simmered just under the surface, smaller and duller than it had been before but nowhere near gone. Not yet. Harper didn't know if she could ever not be angry at Clarke. It was one thing to leave them in Mount Weather but then also to leave them again. She didn't even try to fix things. And now Clarke was here, crying on the floor of Harper's room. Leaving Harper in a state of distress within herself because part of her still wanted to kick Clarke out and another wanted to hug her and kiss her and try to comfort her in any way that she could. Her own mental battles didn't even really matter, though, because Harper wouldn't do either of those extremes. For now, she was stuck on her knees in front of Clarke while the other girl spoke. "I've killed too," Harper blurted out when Clarke paused. Harper didn't know one of them that hadn't killed. Earth made them kill to survive. Harper thought back to shooting grounders at the dropship. To watching Dr Tsing melt in the elevator. Clarke had killed but Harper had too. "We've all killed. We've all done horrible things, Clarke, but you can't just run away." Clarke was still crying and Harper didn't make any move to physically comfort her again. Clarke's emotional speech ended with simple words that Harper didn't want to hear. Clarke had been the one to run, she didn't deserve to miss Harper. "I missed you," Harper repeated, her voice coming out so much quieter than she had intended it to. She had thought she would shout it back at Clarke but all she could do was whisper. She was crying again. Of course she was crying again. She didn't know why she did, maybe it was because of just how much she had missed Clarke, maybe the relief of seeing her alive finally coming up to the surface but Harper reached out and placed her palms against the sides of Clarke's face, lifting it so Clarke was forced to look at Harper. "I missed you, Clarke. So much," she whispered. She leaned forward, pressing a feather light kiss to Clarke's lips before pulling up and letting her hands drop again from Clarke's face. Clarke Griffin || I actually can't say I expected what Harper did here.

[Clarke Griffin]

Confusion was written all over Clarkes face. There was so much comfort in such a simple action and yet, she knew she had a lot of explaining to do. She knew she had a lot to say to her friend, a lot to explain and with one instance at least, Clarke knew what she had been doing and she could explain it. But she couldn't explain this. She could explain her pain. She couldn't explain how Harper could still like her and be kind to her. None of it made sense. Saving the kitten made sense. Coming back here - she guessed in a way it made sense too. Where else would she go? And leaving Mount Weather it made sense, too. That at least did. The kiss - it was comforting, but it was as much confusing to her. Clarke stared at Harper, for a moment lost on words, but the feeling, the peace that settled in here, allowed her to take a deep breath. It allowed her to settle. The kitten pawed at Harpers legs, gently, no claws involved, just exploring the stranger. 

"I left... Mount Weather." She began to explain. "Because it was a chance. I found the grounders and from there going back wasn't possible." But going forward was. And it was the only option she saw. "Nobody knew we were in Mount Weather. I... believed our people were out there. I had to find them. And had to get their help to help you." That was what she had intended. But now she left because she was lost and broken. She saw now way to be with her friends. "I missed you, too, Harper. I just... I didn't know what to do anymore. I made so many mistakes. I need help." It was the first time she really admitted it and she had done so before she realized the gravity of the statement. She needed help. Desperately. She couldn't deal alone. And maybe the kitten was just what prompted her to admit it and come here. "I need help - and the little one does too."

@harpermcintyre

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG At least Harper seemed to have stopped crying by then. That was a good thing, she guessed, even if she had begun to feel numb. It seemed as though her emotion had run out of her with the kiss and now she felt tired, way too tired to cry or shout or even both with being angry. When something touched her leg, Harper quickly glanced down to see the kitten pawing at her. For a moment she stopped breathing and she worried that she might find claws soon digging into her skin as they ripped through her pants. If there was one thing on Earth that Harper found she really didn't trust, it would be animals and even if the kitten looked small and even cute, she didn't feel comfortable with it moving its paws against her. She shuffled backwards a bit, letting the cat's paws fall from her leg and then pulled her attention back up to Clarke. At least the other girl looked calmer also, and she was finally beginning to explain things. Harper forced herself to listen and was thankful for the numbness that had overtaken her, leaving her with no real need to talk and interrupt Clarke. She listened as Clarke explained why she left Mount Weather, that she had to get help, that she had no other choice. That Clarke missed her too. That she needed help. Harper listened to it all and then she took a deep breath, wiping some leftover wetness from her cheeks. "You didn't have a choice about Mount Weather but how could I have known that when you didn't even explain that?" Harper paused, looking back down at the kitten as it started to paw at her leg again. This time she didn't bother to move away from it, she instead picked it up and sat it down next to Clarke. "How can I help you?" Harper asked, "How could I help this kitten either? I don't know why you came to me."  Clarke Griffin || Harper is just like "too much emotion. let's not."

[Clarke Griffin]

She knew the lack of explanation caused this. But she needed it. She couldn't have explained it before. It was simply impossible. She hadn't had the distance or clarity then. She was too emotional to even begin explaining. She had killed Finn. She had bee terrified of losing another friend, which was why she had allowed for Lexa to rope her into abandoning three hundred people for the sake of a handful. It sounded logical yet it wasn't. It was exploiting Clarkes fear. Now, though, now Clarke knew it was bad. Now she new that she had not only doomed all of those people, but herself, too. How was she to recover from that? There was no way she could. There was no way she could imagine. She just nodded, to show Harper she understood what she was saying. 

Clarke reached for the little panther again when Harper placed it next to her. She clutched it to her like a life line. It was that in many ways. It was what snapped her out of the way she had lived. And it made her come back. It didn't maker her work out her issues. But she knew why she came to Harper. That was the easy part of the question to answer for her. "I came to you, because... I trust you. Because...because you're Harper." Because once they shared so much. And Harper never once hurt her. Not willingly, not unwillingly. Harper was just Harper. "I... don't know. I know I'm not myself. I don't know how to fix myself. I just know... I can't fix myself alone. The kitten... I killed it's mother - for food. I... want to raise it and put it back out there when it can fend for itself. I.... I've taken too many lives, Harper. I just want to ... be Clarke again? I don't know how to fix me. But I know that... around you I think I might find Clarke again."



@harpermcintyre

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG Harper listened and listened and still she found herself unsure of how she could help Clarke. From what Harper was hearing, Clarke needed real help. Just like the kitten she had brought with her needed real help. Harper couldn't be that, she was nothing but herself. Her days spent training to become a guard, her nights often spent waking from nightmares that she now suffered from the horrors of Mount Weather. Clarke came as a reminder of those horrors and Harper didn't know how she could be anything good in Clarke's life with all the feelings that she held towards her, most of them negative at this time. Even with the explanation of why she had left Mount Weather, Harper still didn't understand why she couldn't have come back to Arkadia, gotten the help that she needed without leaving them all thinking she didn't care. "Because I'm Harper?" Harper began, unsure of how to take that. Clarke probably meant it in a good way but all Harper could see it as was a negative statement. A statement proving that she was nothing special. "I'm just Harper and I can't magically fix you, Clarke." She looked back down at the kitten, now in Clarke's arms and not seeming to complain about that fact. Harper didn't understand how Clarke could so calming hold it so close to her though when she knew that it had claws and teeth. "And I don't know how to look after that animal, do you? It'll get bigger and bigger and it will just try to hurt us. It'll try to eat us." Shaking her head, Harper looked around her apartment and the lack of space it really held. "I don't have the space to keep you and the cat here either. Are you even planning on telling the others that you're here?" She had to ask because if Clarke wasn't even willing to do that, Harper couldn't do this. She just couldn't. Clarke Griffin

[Clarke Griffin]

Because she was Harper. Because they met before this. And both survived this. Because Harper carried guilt before, but rose from it, became a bigger person, a great woman. Clarke had admired her since they landed on the ground. She had been so much Clarke couldn't be. The question was valid. The animal would try to kill them when it got bigger. But she had no intention of holding on to it that long. At one point nature had to run it's course, she knew that. But right now the kitten was too young. And she was in the wrong place. Clarke knew she shouldn't be here. Not anymore. 

"I didn't think of that." She didn't. But she knew if she wanted help with the kitten. If she wanted Harpers help, she had to. She just couldn't face them all together. It was a situation that lacked all control and anything of the likes. Clarke couldn't do that. "One after the other." If there was more than one and they reacted even remotely like Harper, how was she supposed to handle that if she already broke down with Harper? She couldn't. She knew that. "I'm... back for good... I think."

@harpermcintyre