Checking In On A Friend

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Jasper's words caused Bellamy to turn his head to look at the male, a slightly raised eye brow at his remark. He wasn't even entirely certain if it was a compliment or not, but judging by Jasper's response to his own words . . . well, perhaps the answer was clear. Bellamy didn't often think of himself as, desirable. Hook ups, enjoying physical intimacy, sure. But there was a depth to him, a perception of his monstrous self that left him feeling self loathing. He couldn't praise himself, not for any physical reason nor for any skill. "You shouldn't." Want to look like him. Or hell, be anything like him. There was still an innocence to Jasper -- though technically no one was innocent. But so many of these delinquents were in such a way.

Bellamy wanted to protect that. The thought alone that Jasper's parents could have been in the culling that Bellamy had caused, made him feel even more devoted to the male. Protective. Willing to do anything he could to keep everyone here safe. Once they reached the food, Bellamy welcomed the subject to distract his thoughts. "Good to know you have goals," Bellamy joked, taking just a couple of bits of whatever was there.

"Maybe one day we'll find something better than this," Bellamy said, referring to the food situation. Though, Bellamy wasn't exactly an optimist. He was a realist. Which was why he couldn't even confirm that they weren't going to die. Only provide reassurance that they would fight. "From what I've seen you've been doing a pretty damn good job of not dying." Getting speared. The infection. The cave. Basically most instances when faced with danger . . . he overcame it. "Just keep that up," he added on, giving him a pat on his upper arm.

[Deleted]

"I intend to," Jasper said, running his hand through his hair and adjusting his goggles. There had been a lot of close calls on the ground, but fortunately the crippling fear that had persisted a few days after recovering from his infection had passed. He was still terrified sometimes, but he didn't let it stop him anymore. "Apparently I'm more tenacious than anyone thought, which... is saying a lot." On the Ark, he'd been called tenacious for the way he clung to loved ones and friends. He'd dragged Monty around the Ark with him for quite some time before Monty started to willingly follow.

On Earth, he was tenacious for just refusing to die.

He chewed a bite of his food for a moment, looking around the camp. They were safe for a while. Jasper had done that. With Monty, Raven and Finn's help, but still. "How long do you think we have? Before they come back." He hadn't wanted to talk about Grounders, but thinking about all the times he almost died in such a short time on Earth had those thought seeping back in.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Tenacious. That was a good choice of word. "Don't forget resilient," Bellamy teased though not without truth. Bellamy hadn't forgotten his talk of killing Jasper when he had returned from the grounders. How far they had come from then. He knew now that he may not have been able to do, not even having been able to mercy kill Atom. As they were sitting and talking Jasper asked how much time they had until the grounders came. "Longer than we had before," he answered ambiguously, continuing to highlight the significance of blowing up the bridge.

But perhaps a more concrete answer was necessary. "It won't be long," he answered truthfully. "They'll want revenge. They'll retaliate and strike back hard." Bellamy knew that bridge explosion would not go unanswered. Finn hadn't want to take down any Grounders with them, but Bellamy had been adamant on taking down the bastards. They had numbers and however many they could kill, meant the less that could kill them in return. "You've come a long way from the high kid on the Ark," Bellamy teased, having witnessed first hand just how high Jasper could get.

[Deleted]

Jasper appreciated that Bellamy was still trying to make sure Jasper knew he had done a good job with the bridge, and nodded along as Bellamy gave a less vague answer. The camp was going to need to get ready for whatever the Grounders came back with. But Jasper found himself utterly confused by Bellamy when he finished. 'The high kid on the Ark'. Bellamy hadn't known him on the Ark; the reasons for Jasper's arrest must have gotten back to Bellamy through the rumor mill.

And apparently Bellamy subscribed to the notion that all stoners were lazy and unproductive, if he thought Jasper actually getting things done on Earth was 'a long way' from How Jasper had been on the Ark. "The high kid on the Ark whose teachers loved him and got good grades, and was close with his family and friends? He did okay in on the Ark." He's gotten into a lot of stuff he shouldn't have, but nothing that actually hurt anyone. "Not all stoners are burnouts," he said, his lips quirking to the side.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy glanced at Jasper as he seemed to grow defensive by his remark. Maybe he was used to having to defend himself for being stoned. Bellamy for one, couldn't care less. He wasn't one to judge any of those who had come down on the dropship. Quite the opposite in fact. He saw their strengths and worth, unlike the Chancellor who sent them down here. "Never said they were," he said nonchalantly in reference to Jasper's latter spoken statement.

"I'm the last person you need to explain yourself to." Life on the Ark was different, and every single one of the people down here had come a long way since then. But Bellamy had a very specific incident in mind that he had been referring to. One that perhaps Jasper hadn't realized. Did he even remember? "Even after what happened. And your lame ass comments." Bellamy had been a Cadet at the time, assisting with an arrest. One that involved a very stoned Jasper.

[Deleted]

Jasper was starting to get confused now, since it seemed by his words that Bellamy hadn't been judging him or making assumptions about what Jasper had been like on the Ark based on the fact that his stoner status had apparently gotten around. And then Bellamy said something about something that had happened and lame ass comments. Jasper frowned at him in confusion.

He looked away, trying to make sense of what Bellamy was saying, but nothing came to mind. "I'm sorry," he said slowly, confusion in his voice. "Did I miss something? Did I just have a stroke right now? I don't have any of the risk factors." It was meant to be a joke, but Jasper touched the side of his face as if checking for numbness.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

There was evident confusion on Jasper's face, which continued to convince Bellamy that he had no recollection of what happened on the Ark. The incident, brought a bit of a smirk to the older male's face, casually taking a small bite of his food as if drawing out the moment to tell him. "I was in the guards program," he began to say. Something that he didn't often share with people.

Because it was irrelavant. He hadn't been able to do any good in that program. He'd only managed to get his mother floated and sister arrested. "As a Cadet, I was allowed to assist with an arrest." Not every cadet had the opportunity, but he had been lucky. "Let's just say . . . I'm not surprised you don't remember me with how stoned you were." He couldn't help but continue to smirk, lacking judgment in his words, but there was a teasing in them.

[Deleted]

Jasper listened as Bellamy explained, confused at first, and then slow understanding dawning on him. Bellamy had arrested him? Oh God, Bellamy was the guard he'd tried to flirt with when he'd been handcuffed? Jasper knew he said something about handcuffs being kinky and he might have referred to Bellamy as 'handsome'. All he really remembered about the guard who arrested his was dark hair and a solid chest, which Jasper remembered trying to lean back against as the guard--Bellamy, apparently--escorted him to be processed. Jasper felt his cheeks heat up a little.

"Oh. Ah," he said, taking off his goggles and running his hand through his hair, avoiding looking at Bellamy for a moment. "I'm guessing you generally prefer your name to 'handsome,'" he said, his voice low enough no one around them would hear, hoping this didn't have to be weird. It had been a year ago.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy noticed Jasper become slightly awkward in his reminder or revelation, depending how one looked at it. "Not used to people I'm arresting calling me stuff like that, that's for sure," Bellamy teased him. Bellamy recalled how much he hated arresting Jasper. The fact that he had been around Octavia's age, reinforced his fear that one day, Octavia might get arrested. Ironically, his worst fear and nightmare had come true not long after.

Pushing that to the back of his mind, he focused on the lighter part of it. The fact that he hadn't arrested Jasper who would later be floated. That he and Monty were still alive. "Relax," he assured him, a slight smile on his lips. "Under different circumstances, who knows what would have happened." Bellamy knew that his . . . physical relations was not something limited to the ground. He had frequented them just as much on the Ark. The only difference was that down here, he could actually spend the night with his partners, rather than rush home.

[Deleted]

At least Bellamy sounded more amused than anything else. Jasper couldn't help but wonder if this revelation might change the relationship they'd been building. It obviously hadn't made Bellamy look at him any differently, given how much he'd trusted Jasper for things since they'd been on the ground Maybe it could just be a weird thing that happened that they laughed about.

And then Bellamy said it could have gone differently under different circumstances, and a thrill shot through Jasper. It wasn't quite excitement, and it wasn't quite anxiety, but somewhere between the two. He practically did a double take as he looked over at Bellamy. "What?" he asked, confusion clear in his voice and expression. Was Bellamy really implying he might have responded to Jasper's flirting if things had been different? People like Bellamy Blake didn't usually go for the skinny, nerdy guy.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy looked over at Jasper as he expressed what seemed to be confusion. Perhaps a bit of surprise. Bellamy didn't find himself to be any sort catch that could leave another surprise at such an admittance. But he didn't respond with the same shock. Instead, he remained nonchalant about the entire thing. "Why are you so surprised by that?" He wondered, curious to know what was going on through Jasper's head. His relations on the Ark had always been surface level. Nothing overly deep or emotional and when they seemed to be heading that way . . . he'd had to back off. Jackson and Roma were perhaps the ones he had come closest to ever wanting more with. Then again, it was never lack of want that stopped Bellamy . . . but rather, lack of ability.

His responsibility to his family was first and foremost, and allowing himself any luxuries that a relationship could bring, was entirely out of the question. The ground held the same limitations, though for very different reasons. Right now however, he wasn't talking about long term, deep relationships. Just about how meeting Jasper under different circumstances where he wasn't arresting him and Jasper wasn't high . . . well, it wasn't impossible for one thing to lead to another. Not with that deep need for companionship that Bellamy often led, regardless of how brief. For any time he was with someone, he could pretend.

[Deleted]

"Because... you're you," Jasper replied, as if it should be obvious. He didn't really know how else to explain it in a way that wouldn't become embarrassing, though. "And I strike out a lot," he added, which was true. It had never stopped him from trying, though. He could flirt with any pretty girl he wanted, and had become almost immune to rejection at this point. Didn't hurt in the least anymore. Most of the time. Octavia's rejection had hurt because she had kissed him! He'd thought that meant more than it did, apparently.

Guys were a different story, though. Jasper didn't flirt much with guys, unless he knew they were attracted to him first. He always figured he'd have better luck with girls. But if Bellamy was saying what Jasper thought he meant... "Circumstances are different now," he pointed out, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet out of nerves. He'd seen people coming and going at Bellamy's tent. Unlike Octavia, Jasper knew this wouldn't mean anything, really. But it sounded better than even his original plan of just talking to Bellamy.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Because he was him. Bellamy wasn't sure what Jasper meant by that, but knew it was a compliment either way. An undeserving one, but Bellamy wasn't about to express his own deep insecurities with the younger male. It was bad enough he had dumped them onto Clarke. He then added he struck out a lot. It didn't seem to discourage him, which was always a good thing. Besides, Bellamy hadn't exactly been paying attention to Jasper's flirting tendencies on the ground. He didn't care about that. "Doesn't seem to have stopped you," he said, knowing the words were a bit of an assumption. There wasn't a huge tone of defeat in his voice so was going based on that more than anything else.

"Which is good," Bellamy added on, his own words meant to be a compliment. Jasper's next statement had Bellamy continuing to look at the former delinquent, speaking of how circumstances were different now . . . clear suggestiveness in his voice. Bellamy wasn't fazed by it, nor turned off. The ground offered some freedom, and that included the freedom to be with whoever you wanted to be with. No strings attached. Well, as far as Bellamy went. "And you wanna explore what could happen now that that's the case?" He both asked and stated; an invitation. A mutual interest. "At least this time, you'll have memory of the conversation," he further teased, knowing things were completely different this time around.

He took the last small bite of his food, setting his plate to the side for a moment. "I'm not in this for the long run." It was often something he felt the need to clarify whenever engaging in sexual relations with another. He knew that it was in some people's nature to become attached. Bellamy couldn't afford that and tried to avoid being with people who felt that way. He wasn't trying to hurt anyone. "So you tell me if you're fine with that." And Bellamy wasn't one to waste time with being overly flirtatious. For him, much of it was reserved for when he was alone with the person; when he felt he could lower his guard enough to engage in the light hearted exchange of flirtations.

[Deleted]

Jasper couldn't help the grin that spread across his face as Bellamy asked if he wanted to explore what could have happened now, not sounding much like a question at all. He bit his lower lip, his eyes moving to Bellamy's chest and back up. "I think remembering this time is a better deal than remembering last time," he said.

He tilted his head at Bellamy when he mentioned not wanting anything long term, but his smile didn't fade. He wondered if Bellamy was telling him this because he's seen Jasper fall so hard for Octavia. But Bellamy probably hadn't seen all of that, and Jasper didn't think Octavia had told anyone he'd told her he loved her. "I didn't have any expectations," he said after a moment. Hell, he wasn't even sure how far he wanted to go. He'd fooled around before, but he was still a virgin. And maybe he should be in love with the first person he had actual sex with.

Suddenly, that seemed important, and his smile faded a little. "As long as you don't have any expectations of me," he added. It was vague, but they were standing in the middle of camp.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @jasper420

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy didn't miss the way Jasper's eyes moved over him, nor the smile his lips formed. It made it impossible not to give a bit of a smile back at his reaction, as Bellamy listened intently to his words. "Also means that there will be more to remember," he said in a low voice, clearly implying what they already seemed to know in terms of where this conversation was headed. He told him that he didn't have any expectations and Bellamy believed him.

Knowing, it was all he could do. He had no idea what Jasper's history was when it came to physical intimacy, but his next words were somewhat telling. He may still be a virgin, he may not be. The most important thing was that he was comfortable. "I don't have any expectations either," he assured him. Despite the . . . frequency and experience he had, Bellamy wasn't about to place any sort of expectations on Jasper. And he hoped the younger male knew that.

Or at least believed what Bellamy was telling him now. "At your own pace," he further assured him, knowing that sometimes maintaining a bit of that control, could help ease ones uncertainty. "I just don't have the handcuffs this time," he added on as joke, recalling that that was one of the things Jasper had commented on when he was getting arrested. Even though Bellamy had 'borrowed' a guards uniform, it wasn't fully equipped with what a guardsman carried; cuffs were among the lacking items. His comment was also an attempt to help lighten the mood a little, not wanting Jasper to feel any pressure in terms of what they could -- and perhaps would -- do.