Fingadon

[amber4]

TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Bellamy Blake

Niylah had kept her distance from her post for two days now. She followed Wanheda and her friends silently, knowing that they would know where safety was. When they returned to Arkadia though, she had been so confused. She'd set up camp within the woods and scouted the base, wondering what on earth had happened there. It was dead; silent... Though later that day one man left the base in the rover that they had taken. Perhaps he was one of the faces she hadn't seen. Though it didn't make sense that he left without the others. So, she continued to watch. There was no gunfire-- no indication of conflict and no reason for her to infiltrate the wolf den until it was empty and she could gather supplies. Though... the more time that past the more uneasy she became.

It wasn't curiosity that drove her into Arkadia before the others left. It was worry and confusion. Though they cared little for her, she cared for Wanheda. Despite what Skaikru had taken from her, she still respected them. Bellamy saved her life. Clarke avenged her mother. However, the closer she got to the base the stronger the smell of death became. How much blood stained this soil? She couldn't imagine that they kept the bodies long. Though they had abandoned their home. Cautiously, Niylah drew her blade and entered the massive structure with her bag over her shoulder. When she entered the smell became stronger. She followed it, knowing something had gone horribly wrong. "Wanheda," she called into the silence as she followed the smell. She had to know if they were alive... though as she rounded the corner, all she could see was death. 

One blonde head stood above the rest and Niylah was horrified. They were all dead. Wanheda- her friends... they were all dead and piled together like garbage. With wide eyes, she made her way into the room and lowered herself to check Clarke's vitals. She was searching for any sign of life... When she found none, she couldn't help the emotion that swelled in her chest. "Yu gonplei ste odon..." she mumbled softly as she shut her eyes. Whether or not Clarke cared for her or respected her as much as Niylah cared for her was irrelevant. For a time, Clarke was her friend. Then her eyes shifted to Octavia-- with her throat slit... though it wasn't how she died. So many bodies... though Bellamy wasn't as pale and stiff. He didn't even look dead. Still, but alive. "Bellamy," she muttered as she moved to him. She grabbed his face; holding his jaw in her hand as she looked for signs of life. "Get up," she said roughly. He survived. The thought of killing him didn't even pass her thoughts-- whether she was upset with him or not. All she saw was that he needed help.

OWL

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: amber4

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy no longer knew what it was to be alive. He was dead. His heart may still be beating, and he was still breathing . . . but he was dead. He had witnessed practically everyone he cared about die. He watched their lives leave their body, forced to lay sight to it. Revenge exacted by the one who blamed the inside man for everyhing that had happened. Bellamy was used to being a scapegoat, and while these were crimes he was indeed guilty of . . . the others had paid the price. Bellamy had so longed for Emerson to end his life. To put him out of his misery . . . but he wouldn't. Because living, was the ultimate torture. The ultimate punishment in all this.

When the doors had been opened, an irrational hope had flooded Bellamy as he rushed toward them. Only to be eradicated by the harsh reality. They were all dead. He didn't know how long he had been holding Octavia's body in his arms, practically rocking back and forth. Begging her to wake up. Saying over and over how she was his sister; she was his responsibility. Everyone was dead. Because of him. This was not something he would recover from; it wasn't something he wanted to recover from. He just sat there. He didn't know whether he was crying or not. Whether his eyes were open or closed. Everything felt numb, and yet hurt at the same time. He could have been there for minutes, hours, days, months . . . he had no idea.

Nothing changed. They were all still dead. He didn't even notice another figure eventually enter the air lock. He didn't hear the words she said. But he was forced to feel her touch when she grabbed his face, telling him to get up. Bellamy looked at the woman, nothing behind his eyes but the deadness of his soul. "Get the hell away from me," he said, jerking his head away. His words were not strong or loud. But they were sure. Flat. As if he truly had nothing else left in him to give; nothing else left to live for. All he longed for was the sweet release of death. So that he could fulfill the parting words: may we meet again.

[amber4]

TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Bellamy Blake

Bellamy's dried lips parted and his hollow words shot out; dull and lifeless. His eyes were void of any feeling, which was something that Niylah had never seen before. She hadn't known him long, but whether desperation for Wanheda or remorse, his eyes had always been filled with some kind of emotion. He was a corpse; a fire with nothing left but the embers and even those faded. He didn't get to do this. She didn't know him. She didn't know his life, his history or even his background beyond what she had heard in the post... He didn't get to give up. "Now." she said harshly. Her hand wrapped around his wrist to pull it from the corpse he cradled. "You aren't dying here. You don't get to give up. If you give up, all of your friends die for nothing." She knew loss. She lived it. Niylah lost far too much in that battle. She lost friends, family... Bellamy didn't get to give up.

"Look at me;" she muttered as she grabbed his face more deliberately now. "Your friends were here for a reason. You were all here for a reason, so what was it? Whatever it was-- you can't just stop. Your people are still out there." She'd seen the hoard of them; walking like the dead searching for something. Searching for Raven, rather. "Please... You can't just sit here and rot with these corpses..." She let go of him and moved to pull the long dark haired girl from his lap. She had been kind to her-- offered her the lamp. Though she didn't know her name. All of Wanheda's friends were just familiar faces that would need to be burned. Bellamy however was not dead, and Niylah wasn't about to let him go without a fight.

OWL

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: amber4

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He was barley listening to her words. Knowing he should, but too consumed with grief to care about what happened to him at this point. His friends did die for nothing; they died because of him. And he . . . he was worth nothing. He deserved death far more than any of those that now lay in the room. Lifeless. Corpses. She told him that his people were still out there . . . but he couldn't even begin to process that. Not when he lost those he cared most about all at once. All in this room. He didn't react to anything she said until he started feeling Octavia's body being pulled from him. "Get away from her!" He lashed out, harshly pushing Niylah away, uncaring with what force he shoved her back, as he proceeded to wrap his arms around Octavia once more. As if he hadn't already lost her.

But he had. She was dead. The tears resurfaced, trailing down his cheeks though his face showed no other signs of sobbing. The pain was overwhelming; over powering. All consuming. It was feeling impossible to breathe, looking down at his baby sister. The center of his universe for so long. Gone. How did he move on? How did he . . . and that was when it finally entered his mind. The stages of grief. Revenge. He was responsible for this, but so was another man. And with the same fury that Emerson had hunted down Bellamy and his people, Bellamy decided to return the favor. His expression became stoic, as if a new determination suddenly flooded his entire being. He was never one who sought out vengeance. Not one to necessarily condoned revenge. But he was no longer Bellamy.

Only a slight flicker of the man. He couldn't protect them. He couldn't protect anyone. So instead, he was going to kill the one man responsible. He looked down at Octavia again, holding her tightly as he felt his chest tighten, suffocating him. He lowered his lips to her cheek, allowing a few more tears to spill through. "May we meet again," he whispered. "Until I'm with you and mom." Because surely, his sister and mother were together now. In a better place. Better than this hell. He slowly raised his gaze, tear filled eyes as he looked at Niylah. "I need to move them." He would leave. But he needed to move the bodies first. He needed to give them a proper burial . . . and every second of it would further destroy him, not that he wasn't already utterly destroyed.

[amber4]

TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Bellamy Blake

When he pushed her back, she stumbled. It was a hard shove which surprised her, since he seemed so numb. She didn't know the girl was his family, but the way he reacted made her assume as much even before he spoke. She slowly pushed herself up and kept her eyes on him; wary as ever. She should have left. She owed Bellamy nothing, now. It was difficult to see him as an enemy, especially when he looked up at her with tears in his eyes. They had to move them. Niylah nodded once in understanding, not sure where they should put them. She looked over the corpses with a deep frown; going over all their faces. She didn't even know all of them... there were so many. She couldn't see blood, or any injuries. Most were bound to pipes and seats... Slowly she moved to their wrists and cut the binds with her knife. She didn't look at Bellamy as she freed the corpses... 

"We burn our dead," she said in a low voice as she cut the plastic binds off their wrists completely. No one deserved to be a prisoner beyond life. "How does Skaikru..." she didn't want to say dispose the bodies... Finding the right words was a challenge for her. "How do you lay your dead to rest?" She asked softly as she cut the last set of plastic cuffs from Raven. She knew some of them, but only because of their short time in the post. She wanted to help and in this way she could. Whether by building a funeral pyre or burying the bodies. She was curious about the one Skaikru girl who he protected. She knew the language, dressed like Trikru... though Niylah didn't know her well enough to come to the conclusion that she would want to be put to rest like those who were born on the ground.

OWL

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: amber4

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy could hear her start to free the other bodies . . . but he didn't dare look. It would only make this nightmare more real. It was bad enough to lose Octavia. But, he had lost everyone. The people he cared most about were all in this room. All dead. He clung to his sister, until the urge got to be too great. Turning his head he watched her release Raven, but he couldn't hold his gaze. He abruptly turned away once more, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as he felt more tears fall from them. All of them were dead. His sister was dead. Trying to gain enough composure to speak, he began to answer her question. "We bury them." He slowly opened his eyes to look down at his sister.

He moved his hand to stroke her hair, brushing the loose strands away from her cheek. Her skin was still warm. "She would want to be burned." Octavia would. He knew that. "With Lincoln." Bellamy wasn't fully registering the mention of names, and the fact that Niylah may or may not know them. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. But Octavia and Lincoln . . . they could be burned together. And Bellamy only hoped that they would find each other in whatever came after this life. Where they could be happy. At peace.

"The rest . . . I'll bury." Him. Because, they were his responsibility. And he failed them. All of them. He couldn't even bear to look at the others right now, his gaze entirely fixated on his sister and the lifeless body he still clutched . . . as if his life depended on it. Then again, he was already dead from the inside. What life was there left to live? Except one filled with the need to exact vengeance on the man who killed them. "I can't let her go," Bellamy got out, his voice catching as a sob inevitably escaped him, his lips trembling from the sudden outburst of emotion, his whole face losing whatever composure it had once held, as all he could do in this moment . . . was cry.

[amber4]

TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Bellamy Blake

Niylah was silent as Bellamy explained that he would bury the others and burn his sister-- with Lincoln. She knew the name and knew the story of the Trikru who was letting his love for the sky girl impede his judgment. Niylah had always found the rumor and the story romantic in a way, not that she would ever say it. Knowing they were dead now... Well, she couldn't help the swell of emotion in her throat. She didn't know these people, but she was too empathetic for her own good. Bellamy's tears threatened to catch onto her, especially as he admitted her couldn't let the young woman go. Niylah swallowed her emotions and moved to kneel by his side. Lightly, she pushed his hair back and smoothed it away from his face. She didn't expect him to look at her. "It's okay," she said slowly. "You don't have to let her go," not yet, she thought. 

He'd kept her warm; curled up with her that way while the others cooled. "I'll get them out of here... I'll get them outside and you can stay here." Lightly, she stroked his cheek before moving to Raven's body. She closed her eyes, but said no words of passing. These were Skaikru bodies... she didn't want to offend Bellamy by treating them-- well as anything less in his eyes. It was strange trying to help him now after the death of her father, but blame was so far back in her mind she didn't even spare it a thought as she moved her arms underneath Raven's. Slowly she pulled her up and rested her against her chest. Fortunately, the large metal room had a door that opened up to the outside of Arkadia. She'd never seen an airlock, but she knew to work open the crank to open it. It was stiff, but with some effort, she managed to open it and let in some fresh air to wash the scent of death away. "Do you have... a place in mind?" She asked softly.

OWL

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: amber4

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Where once the sensation of a hand running through his hair provided him with unimaginable comfort . . . he could no longer feel it. He couldn't feel anything. But pain. Heartbreak. No other sensation, no other relief dared to touch him. Not the warmth of her skin on his cheek, nor her fingers drawing his hair back. And he didn't deserve relief nor comfort. He deserved the pain. And he would use it to fuel the only thing he had left to live for: vengeance. She assured him that he didn't have to let them go and it only made him cling tighter to Octavia. He noticed her move, and made the mistake of turning his head to watch her as she began to drag Raven's body out.

He immediately jerked his head away, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as more tears fell from his ducts. Raven. He hadn't even come to terms with the deaths of the others. Only Octavia. And he would be in for a rude awakening soon enough . . . when he realized that practically everyone he was closest to, had died in this room. And that that, was the exact purpose. They were dead because he cared about them. Her question forced his swollen eyes open, red with the tears that kept escaping them. He slowly nodded his head, knowing exactly where he was going to take them. Where it all began: the dropship.

Buried with the other delinquents who had died. A graveyard of sorts that they had made. He wasn't sure how he did it, but he managed to slowly rise to his feet, scooping up Octavia in his arms while doing so, cradling her against his chest as if she was simply unconscious. Not dead. She couldn't be dead. It . . . no. She couldn't be. "I need to put them in the rover." He didn't even bother explaining what that was if she didn't know. "But . . . I need to . . . wrap them. In something." A cloth. Anything. Sheets. His legs trembled not from the weight he had in his arms, but from the pain of what it meant. Octavia was so still, so lifeless. She was dead. They were all dead.

[amber4]

TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Bellamy Blake

The bodies were still warm. With their eyes shut peacefully one could assume that they were asleep or simply unconscious. The hard truth was difficult to face as a stranger... the amount of death in that small room and the feeling of dread coming off of Bellamy in waves was heavy... Niylah would never have been able to stand in Bellamy’s place. She didn’t feel pity... Instead she mourned for him and the challenges he now faced alone. A part of him died with his friends and family and Niylah mourned that part of him that would probably never return. Death changed people... People like Bellamy; always trying so desperately to do the right thing were always the ones who put the most of their hearts in others. What happened to that part of his heart when the people he sacrificed his life for died so coldly?<p>

It died with them. The way Bellamy moved and spoke, it was clear that the light inside him was snuffed out, leaving him colder than the bodies they moved. There were no words that Niylah could use to give him comfort, in any language. There weren’t even any actions. Holding him came later... now he probably hadn’t even really come to terms with any of it. How could he? Niylah doubted that he had anyone else. She would do everything she could for him... For his sister, for Clarke, and for him—the man who tried to do the right thing. With nobody to look after he would fall apart.

“I will find something,” she replied as he mentioned needing a wrapping. The camp was filled with things she could use. Any looter would have picked this place apart... survival supplies were all over but Niylah was focused on Bellamy. Her father would have been furious... but... it didn’t matter now. She quickly pulled clothes off tables and tarps off of metal walls. Anything that was large enough to wrap the bodies, she gathered. When she returned to Bellamy it took everything in her not to reach out to him... it was a delicate situation... and she had never learned how to deal with anything like it. “These will help,” she said softly as she carefully began to cover Raven’s body with a smooth table cloth. She set the plastic and cloth on the back of the rover for Bellamy and worked quickly to give the dead a shred of dignity.

“Bellamy when this is.... when we have laid them to rest I want you to come with me.” She said softly as she worked, moving onto the next. It was a boy she had met briefly, but didn’t know well at all. “Please?”

OWL