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Post by Bellamy Blake on Aug 21, 2015 2:03:40 GMT
whatever THE HELL WE WANT Bellamy had spent the last little while getting people settled in camp. Clarke had left and her decision left him . . . unsettled. He needed her here, they all did. He understood why she left, but he was hurt by it. He thought that they could get through what they did together . . . but she was off there, Somewhere. On her own. Bellamy would not stop worrying about her, and desperately hoped that their words stood true: that they would meet again. But right now, he had to suppress his emotions and help everyone get settled back into their home. Harper, Abby, Raven . . . they would all recover.
Anyone who was physically injured would recover. It was the emotional trauma that would not heal so easily, and there was one individual in particular that Bellamy's mind kept going to. Jasper. He had lost Maya and, Bellamy wished she didn't have to pay the price for the others to live . . . but they didn't have a choice. Maya's actions would never be forgotten. She had helped Bellamy and he would have been dead had it not been for her. Hell, they all would have.
But instead, she was the one who was dead and her face would be one of the many that would haunt Bellamy for the rest of his life. When everything looked like it was relatively in order, Bellamy took a deep breath, wanting to -- needing to -- check on his brother of heart. Since you couldn't exactly knock on someone's tent, Bellamy opened the flap and stepped inside. "Hey," he greeted, his eyes looking over his friend.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2015 3:15:39 GMT
i'm wide awake after the riot this demonstration of our anguish this empty laughter has no reason Heartbreak hurt. Whether it was losing the love of a life -- Maya; she felt like everything that completed Jasper, everything that was wrong with himself was right with her -- or a friend -- Monty, the betrayer, the backstabber, the killer of the love of his life -- it hurt. He couldn't get it out of his head. As everyone seemingly went about their life after Mount Weather, there was Jasper: wallowing in pain. He felt like he was along, like he was cut off from the world. He had done such a job being the leader, being the strong one, and this was how fate repaid him. He felt closed off, segregated; instead of spending time in a tent with Monty, he had his own, private and away from the rest of the society of the ark. He was... he was adjusting. On his own time, at his own limit.
He spent a good portion of his days in his bed, or, rather, on his bed, with his jacket pulled up as a blanket to cover his head. He wallowed in self-pity, in the feelings that were constantly eating up at him. He didn't eat much; yes, he ate, but it was sparsely and often in irregular intervals, but he was eating. He wanted his life back the way he got. He wanted to be the happy go lucky, silly individual he was when they first stepped foot on the Earth. He was tired of being afraid that people would stab him with spears or losing the people he cared most about. He was just... he was done.
That particular day, his fingers had traced the same line five hundred, twenty eight thousand and three hundred times before the flap to his tent opened and footfalls announced the presence of someone else. He heard the familiar voice, and he shifted, although his back remained towards the entrance of his tent, and his mood still stayed rather somber and lackluster, "If you're here to ask if I already ate, I had food today, Bellamy. You don't have to come check on me, you know." There had been far too many people who kept coming in to make sure "he was alright." And frankly, he was just tired of it. like a bottle of your favorite poison we are the last call and we're so pathetic
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Post by Bellamy Blake on Aug 22, 2015 2:05:37 GMT
whatever THE HELL WE WANT Jasper knew Bellamy well, for that was one of the things he was going to ask him; whether he had eaten. He tended to be more isolated than usual, which was enough to show the drastic change in his behavior as he was one of the more social ones. One who enjoyed the company of others. One who often held high spirits. Bellamy of course didn't blame him for he was had every right to feel what he did. Losing someone you so deeply cared for was not an easy loss to endure. But Bellamy wanted to help him through it. Be there for him, in whatever way he could. He took a few steps forward, eventually seating himself next to Jasper who's back was still turned towards him.
"I may not have to," he began to say. "But I want to." Because Jasper was his friend. Hell, he was a lot of people's friend, and Bellamy felt protective over every single on of his people. "I hear there were some apple trees sighted nor far from here. Why don't we go for a walk." While Bellamy's words on the sighting of apples was true, this was also an excuse to get Jasper out of the tent. Get some proper fresh air. "It'll do you good," he added on, pausing for a moment before continuing. "You can't stay hold up in here forever, Jasper." Distractions helped. Bellamy knew all about how focusing on something else, could keep ones mind from dwelling . . . even if it was just for a few brief moments.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2015 3:19:52 GMT
i'm wide awake after the riot this demonstration of our anguish this empty laughter has no reason Jasper couldn't help but give an agitated sigh when Bellamy pointed out that he didn't have to, but he wanted to. And then, as his bed slightly dipped with the weight of another body sitting on it, Jasper grumbled under his breath. His finger stalled in the repetitive movement, almost as if he was tired of wandering the same path over and over and over again. He wished his mind would stop -- if only he could save Maya. If only he had a little more time. If only he gave more blood to save her... there were so many things that went in his head, and all of them turned up with the realization that Monty had killed Maya. And by extension, Jasper -- Jasper killed her, too. He would do anything to get the last 47 out of Mount Weather, but at the same time... ugh, he was tired of thinking about it.
"I can lay here and do whatever I want, Bellamy. You might've been a cadet on the ark, but you're not my keeper here," he added, his voice rather agitated. He wanted to just stew in his self-pity, ignore the world. One of the things he wanted was to avoid leaving the tent and having to face Monty. That thought alone hurt, and he was trying to hard to ignore it. But it kept coming up and up, and the few times he slipped past the flap of his tent, people kept asking.
So he was done trying to go out. He was better off in here, by himself, away from everyone. And then there was Bellamy, who wanted him to take a walk, to socialize with people. Sure, it was just Bellamy, but even so. He didn't want to talk about the things that were eating him up inside. He just didn't. He gave an exaggerated sigh, shifting a little, although his back was still turned towards his friend.
"I guess I'll go if I must go. But only if you're going to drag me out of bed and to put my shoes on and get out of the tent -- let me just point out that it sounds and is a lot more work than it essentially is. Especially on my part." like a bottle of your favorite poison we are the last call and we're so pathetic
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Post by Bellamy Blake on Aug 22, 2015 4:20:12 GMT
whatever THE HELL WE WANT Jasper spoke in a clear tone of annoyance, saying that he could do whatever he wanted and that Bellamy was not his keeper. No. It was true; he wasn't. But he was the one who was in a leadership role among them. And with Clarke's absence, apparently the only one. Kane and Abby were different. The 100 that had come down, those were Bellamy's people. People he stived to protect. Which was what had caused him to be part of what happened in Mount Weather; out of pure desperation to save them all. So Bellamy remained silent upon Jasper first remark, allowing him to get it out of his system.
He then went on to say that he would go if he must . . . but that it sounded like a lot more work than it actually was, particularly on his part. "Well, you're gonna get out of bed, put your shoes on and get the hell out of this tent." Bellamy's tone was not harsh, but it left little room for debate. Tough love. Anything to get Jasper out for a bit. "So come on. I'm not gonna ask again. I need an extra person to get that fruit, and you're coming with me." He knew he could have picked anyone, but he picked Jasper. The fruit was just an excuse. It was more about spending time with his friend, and just . . . well, he suppsed he would find out where it went from there. Bellamy then rose to his feet, looking down at Jasper expectantly. "I'm waiting," he added on, to add the pressure of time and the fact that Bellamy was just watching Jasper until he moved.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2015 14:40:38 GMT
i'm wide awake after the riot this demonstration of our anguish this empty laughter has no reason The chemist couldn't help but give an overly exaggerated sigh before he shifted. Bellamy wouldn't leave him alone until he got up and left the safety of the bed and tent he claimed, and that really agitated the younger male. But so be it. He'd play along, at least partially. He gave another exaggerated sigh before moving, letting his legs fall towards the floor and his feet right into the boots. It was a classic Jasper move: he never really tied his shoes, so why would he do it now? He rubbed at his eyes, letting his hands glide through his black, messy hair. He felt so stiff, it was terrible.
"You might be waiting a whole lot longer had you just chosen someone else. Like Monty. Or Miller. Or... well, anyone else," he pointed out, his voice dry. If words could cut like butter, his wouldn't. Although, there was an edge to his voice that clearly showed he was impartial to all of this. This whole thing: the whole associating with others. The whole just getting out of bed thing was agitating, too.
"Let's go. Wherever it is you want me to go." Although Jasper didn't say it, his persona resonated it: the air of uneasiness, even with Bellamy. He couldn't trust people -- he couldn't trust the remaining 100 who first touched the ground all those months ago. He couldn't trust them to have his back, or to come to him when he was in trouble. Sure they were there, and they all associated with each other, but trust? Trust was earned.
And recently, Jasper realized he could trust nobody. Not even his best friend. like a bottle of your favorite poison we are the last call and we're so pathetic
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Arker
"We save those who
we can save today."
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Tag me @bellamy
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Post by Bellamy Blake on Aug 28, 2015 5:06:22 GMT
whatever THE HELL WE WANT Bellamy silently watched as Jasper began to move, sighing with annoyance no doubt, but Bellamy didn't care. He needed to get out of his tent and get some air . . . even though they were living outside. He needed to walk around. It was time to get him out of this rut. It would take time for everyone to fully heal from the affects of Mount Weather -- not just those like Abby, Harper, and Raven who had been drilled . . . but also the emotional wounds. Bellamy and Monty held a great deal for all those people dying, and with Clarke gone, the two of them became each other's support. Then there was of course Jasper, who had lost someone he greatly cared about.
But life went on for all of them. It had to. And that was why Bellamy couldn't let his emotions hinder him. He had to push forward; he had to be the leader and show he was here for what was left of the original 100: his people. "Well I didn't choose anyone else, I choes you." And he wasn't going to change his mind either. When Jasper was ready and stated that he would go whrever he wanted him to, Bellamy gave a small nod and handed him a gun so that he was armed. "Let's go then," he told him, waiting for Jasper to step out of the tent first before Bellamy followed -- unsure if Jasper would have actually followed Bellamy out. "Harper got cleared from medical today," Bellamy informed him, knowing that Jasper didn't ask but he offered the information anyway.
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