Somewhere Only We Know

[cherry1]

Raven rushed herself through the medical check-up. There were more important matters that needed her immediate attention. And besides she was probably fine, she thought, ignoring the growing pain in her hip. As if she needed more reason to worry about that. After checking on Sinclair, and being satisfied he was fine, as fine as he could be, Raven made her way to Gena. After the blast she’d felt numb, unable to fully process what had happened, the loss that they had all suffered. But most of all the guilt of all those deaths, specifically Gena’s threatened to crush her. She couldn’t take any more pain, any more guilt on her conscience.

So when she heard her name, that she had survived, just barely, Raven had to see it for herself. She needed that visual conformation. Because they never caught a break, she never caught a break. With everyone around her always dying or leaving her, it was safe to assume that Gena was just another name added to the list of people whose blood was on her hands. But maybe, just this once, that wouldn't be the case. She pushed the thoughts of the others in Mount Weather who perished because of her failure to the back of her mind. One thing at a time.

As soon as she made it to her bed, the instant relief at seeing her face threatened to overwhelm her. She was here. Gena was really alive. And of course Bellamy was there by her side. The memory of the moment she’d told him about the blast flashed through her mind, along with thoughts of what could have been. No she couldn’t think like that. They’d finally caught a lucky break and Raven wasn’t going to jinx that with thoughts of what if. A small smile spread across her face as she slowly made her way to the other side of her bed, taking a hand in one of her own. “Gena, I thought you were...” she swallowed trying to steady her breathing. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” The girl was in pretty bad shape, but at least she was breathing. It’s all Raven could bare to focus on right now. “How is she?” She asked Bellamy, assuming he’d know more about her current state.

Tag: Bellamy Blake and Gena Martin  

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Gena Martin and cherry1

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

It had been close. Too damn close. Hell, it was a miracle that Gena was alive, but Bellamy wasn't going to question it. He was just going to bask in the relief. Pike had lost more than half his people in there, and Bellamy truly sympathized with the man. He had briefly spoken to him, but Charles understood Bellamy's need to be with Gena. They would have a funeral, a memorial for the deceased at a later time, but right now, he was focused on Gena. And the fact that she was going to be alright.

He still recalled hearing the news of the blast, and then seeing her body being brought out from Mount Weather. During the jeep ride there, he thought he had lost her. To see her alive, barley breathing . . . it had made him burst with hope. She was a fighter, as proven by her actions. Right now, he was positioned on a chair right next to her. He felt a bit groggy from the blood transufsion as she had lost a significant amount and Bellamy had immediately offered his own as they were universal donors to each other.

He didn't want to sleep though. He didn't want to take his eyes off Gena for a single moment. He wanted to be here, awake and conscious for when she woke up. Speaking of which, he could see her start to shift and awaken. With excellent timing too. Hearing approaching footsteps and a familiar voice prompted him to look at the person who joined them.

Raven. He watched her move to the other side of the bed as she took Gena's hand. Raven was another survivor of the blast. Thank god. Raven asked how she was doing, and that was an answer he could easily give. "As good as can be expected," he answered truthfully, his voice slightly hoarse. "The surgery went well. It'll just take some time for her to fully recover." She would be on bed rest for a bit and it would take a bit for her to move around with ease. His hand went to her forehead, gently stroking it as he continued to just watch her, partially afraid that this was just a dream. That her survival was too good to be true.

[Gena Martin]

Waking up was surprisingly hard, it seemed. It felt like a weight was on her and there was the problem that she had no idea where she was or when she had fallen asleep. Gena slowly opened her eyes, but it took a while for the world to come into focus. As she looked to her side, focusing on an arm she supposed she knew, she began to notice more about how she was feeling. The weight was a heavy numbness in her lower extremities and slowly she remembered why. She had been stabbed. She felt tied down, but assumed she wasn’t actually tied down. It was probably from waking up slowly and with the aftereffects of being stabbed. Judging from the warmth on her hands, someone was holding them, so she gently tried to squeeze them.

Voices slowly made more sense, the arm she was staring at was fully in focus now. That was definitely Bellamy. Gena looked around not. There was a lot of tubes and cables. Blood, she was getting blood, but that made sense. She must have lost a lot of it and there were a lot of universal donors, two of them in the room. Gena gulped heavily. Finally she spoke. “As long as I’m not a crappy patient like you are.” She whispered, voice hoarse, barely there, but with Bellamy and Raven, her two best friends, close enough, she was sure they understood. And Bellamy would certainly understand her need to not be serious. She didn’t want to think about what happened, but focus on her boyfriend and best friend with her. It was an encouraging feeling to have them close like that after something terrible. And being awake was not bad either. That way she could be with them. “What? A bit of stabbing and an explosion can’t kill me. A Raven explosion maybe. Who's blood is that?”

cherry1 Bellamy Blake

[cherry1]

Intense relief threatened to overwhelm her as Bellamy answered. “As long as she’s alive, I’m good.” This was almost too good to be true. Well as long as she didn’t think about the many others in Mount Weather she’d failed to save. More blood on her hands. The guilt was so familiar, too familiar. At Gena’s voice Raven gave a short laugh, pulling herself from her thoughts. It was so good to hear. She never thought she would hear it again. Tears welled up in her eyes as she squeezed Gena’s hand. She didn’t really mind crying in front of Gena, hell it wouldn’t be a first. But this time they were happy tears. Relieved tears. She wanted to embrace her, hug her for all she was worth, mostly to just make sure this was real. That it wasn’t just some cruel dream that she would wake up from. Like the countless she’d had about Finn since his death. If this was a dream, Raven never wanted to wake up.

“You’re made of tougher stuff than any explosion I could ever make.” She said, allowing her to smile, as Gena kept the atmosphere at ease. It’s what she was good at. “I don’t think anything could stop you.” She looked at her with a small smile, glancing up at Bellamy. If it was just her and Bellamy, Raven feared the direction in which the conversation could have turned. The last time she’d really spoken to him was on the radio after the explosion. Emotions ran high and she still couldn’t quite stem the guilt of her failure even while looking at him now. Every time she did, Raven would break eye contact quickly and obviously, trying to suppress that shame. Gena was alive but barely, and it was all her fault. The pain she’d suffered. Raven was her friend and she was supposed to have her back.

“It’s Bellamy’s, right? You…lost a lot of blood.” It was safe to assume he’d probably be the most eager person here to donate, but she asked just to be sure, not quite looking at him. “I would have come here sooner,” But she’d been caught up with Jackson who desperately tried to make her stay put after checking her over. Like hell that was gonna happen. Sitting down on the bed next to her, Raven couldn’t help the words that came out of her mouth. “I’m so sorry,” she practically whispered, not apologising for coming late, but rather for the state Gena was in. Because of her. Ruining the atmosphere, now that was Raven's skill.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Gena Martin and cherry1

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

It was such an overwhelming relief to see Gena awake, conscious, and talking. Her beautiful voice putting Bellamy's mind and heart at ease. The doctors had said she would make it, but seeing it with his own eyes and hearing it with his own ears . . . well, it made him feel all the more assured. Especially hearing her teases. "Who know's. Maybe I rubbed off on you," he teased in reference to her remark about how he was a crappy patient. Which, he was. It was an attempt to keep things light.

To ease her into the inevitable conversation that would eventually take place. She mentioned the stabbing, the explosion, finishing with questioning who's blood that was. But fortunately, Raven answered the question. As she had pointed out, Gena lost a lot of blood, and he would give every last drop of his if it meant saving her life. He just gave a small nod to answer Raven's assumption, not wanting to make a big deal about it when it was Gena's condition that was everyone's primary concern. "That's true," he agreed upon hearing that she was tougher than anything Raven could make. "You might even be more stubborn than me," he teased once again, a faint smirk on his face. One that sobered when Raven apologized. His eyes fell to his hand on Gena's forehead. He knew why Raven said it, hell Bellamy felt it.

Not that Raven should burden the guilt for what happened. It was his fault, and he knew it. Gena had only gone to Mount Weather because of him. She had stayed because he told her to. And he had left because he trusted a Grounder. But now was not the time to battle her for the blame. Nor could he be the one to ease Raven's guilt. Gena would though, knowing her. Knowing her selflessness and heart and every thing about her that made her a stronger and better person than him, and anyone else really. Whether Raven accepted it or not . . . well, Bellamy knew it wasn't so easy to accept the words of another and excempt yourself from guilt and blame. He never had. He doubted it would be easy for Raven to as well. He just remained silent, allowing the two women to converse about it. He didn't offer to leave though, not wanting to move from Gena's side unless she directly asked him to give them a moment's privacy.

[Gena Martin]

“I’m not. Octavia might be.” She could in no way match the stubbornness of the Blake siblings. And it was a trait the two of them shared, a trait Gena loved about both of them. Bellamy was a stubborn ass, but he was very cute about it. He was the best and she loved him. That stubbornness might even be why his blood was currently dripping into her body, to replace the blood she had lost. A lot of people could have donated, but he kept it in the family, because that was what he was to her, her only family now, followed by Raven. She instinctively moved her head a bit more into Bellamys warm and comforting hand. It was easy to concentrate on the hands of her loved ones as what they said was hard and painful.

“What were you going to do, Raven?” She asked her friend. “Run back so you get blown up yourself? Hell no. We need you here. Someone needs to fix the Roves people breaks. Someone needs to stand up to the stupidity of others, when everyone is fixed on other stuff. You’re needed here. You did everything you could.” It was easy for her to say, because what Raven just said, it made Gena think. She was hurt. She was vulnerable, as was Bellamy. She knew them enough to see it. And she knew she didn’t put in the numbers. The mountain self destructed and somehow she survived. She was the one to blame for not getting the code it. Not the others. She should be dead right now. She was to blame.

“Seriously, both of you. Stop blaming yourselves. I can practically hear your selfdoubts, both of yours.” And of course hers, the rushing sounds of the voices in her head, telling her how this was not their fault, but hers. She should have lasted a bit longer to save them or died with them. “Raven, you tried everything you could and you survived, that’s a good thing. And Bell, my hero, I know you think you could have saved the people had you stayed back, but someone had to go to Polis, you did the right thing. You tried to protect people. This is not your fault. It’s not either of your fault. Got it?” It was hers.

cherry1 Bellamy Blake

[cherry1]

Raven smiled at Gena’s reassurances, it was sweet of her to try and make her feel better. And in all seriousness they did help. She felt relieved that Gena didn’t blame or resent her for not being more helpful. But she’d never stop considering the what if’s. Raven had felt her heart rip out of her chest when the mountain blew up with Gena still inside, and it would take some time to put herself back together. To really believe that she was actually okay, and alive right in front of her. That this was real. She wasn’t exactly going to argue with her about her words, not in the state she was in. Gena needed to heal, and stressing her out definitely wouldn’t help.

“This is not your fault. It’s not either of your fault. Got it?” She always knew the right things to say to make her feel a little better. While Raven still felt pain deep in her soul and laid awake at night escaping the nightmares, at least during the day she could leave those demons behind while with Gena. She was never one to have best friends but Gena definitely qualified. Without her, if she had really lost her. Raven didn’t know what she would have done. What hole she would have inevitably hidden in. “Yes ma’am,” she said with a small smile, mockingly saluting the other girl. “I don’t remember her being such a hard ass before.” She said glancing up at Bellamy. Hoping to bring the mood up after she’d been the reason it had soured earlier.

“I just need you to know…I’ll never let anything like this happen to you again,” she said wiping the few tears that managed to escape her eyes looking from Bellamy to Gena. She wanted to be strong for her. Her words not only directed at her but for Bellamy’s benefit too. She felt guilt and shame when she looked at him too. Gena had been her responsibility while he was away and she’d failed miserably at keeping her safe. Next time, though hopefully there would be no next time, Raven would be the one taking on the assault not Gena.