Veni, Vidi, Vici; I Came, I Saw, I Conquered

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Gena Martin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy's head was spinning. He felt like he was walking underwater; as if everything else was blurred out and focused only in his mind was what he had just been informed of. The shock of this revelation left him utterly unprepared for the significance of the words. Apparently, he'd been elected Chancellor. He hadn't even been running. But apparently, the public had spoken. And this was not something he could so swiftly dismiss. His initial reaction his head had created was no. He didn't want this title; he didn't want the responsibility. He was much more content being an enforcer . . . yet, he knew that he had lead -- or at least co lead -- the others since landing.

But this, this was far greater. To be the Chancellor for the Arkers was . . . well, should it be an honor? Is that how he should feel? Flattered that the public had elected him? He just didn't know anymore. So while he didn't reject the offer, he had not yet accepted it. He needed to think about this. He needed to let the words fully process in his mind before making any decisions. While he often would decide for himself . . . there was another significant person in his life that he knew he could share such information with: Gena. The two were together, in every sense of the word and for Bellamy, it was far more rare for him to emotionally with someone rather than just physically. She was the first one he had committed himself to in a romantic way, and he felt far stronger for it. She made him stronger.

As he entered his quarters, it was no surprise that she was there. Such were often the arrangemetns. Between his busy days and her late nights at work, sometimes they wouldn't see each other all day . . . and what few hours at night they could get, served them well. But right now, with the sun still out, and how it was early afternoon, Bellamy had beeng granted some time free of his duties to just process everything. To think it over. For he knew he could not wait toon long before giving an answer. Closing the door behind him he just silently stood near it, knowing he couldn't keep this from her. "Do you have a minute?" Or did she need to be somewhere? For this was not a conversation he wished to have in haste. His tone, his expression revealed that it was for a serious matter; a serious subject.

[Gena Martin]

Sometimes Gena was baffled at how smooth it all went. When she woke after a nap – one much needed nap given that she worked in the bar late – her eyes once more fell onto their belongings spread out together, fitting almost perfectly together, as perfectly as she felt she fit into Bellamys arms. It was a strange, yet amazing feeling. They had everything in here that they could need. Bellamy was gone, probably working and Gena would see if she was needed tonight soon, but other than that she had the day off. She had been asked to switch shifts with someone and decided not to tell Bellamy, to surprise him with something private and relaxing when he would come back from his shift.

Gena had started up the movable stove – or camping stove – they had. They kept a bit of food in his room anyway, so Gena could easily start on her plan. She didn’t have elaborate things on her plan, just a tea and a soup for the two of them, which should be able to stay warm until he came home. She turned down the heat just enough so it would stay warm, but not too hot until Bellamy returned home. He returned earlier than she expected, though. Only shortly after she turned down the heat, he stood in the room, asking her if she had a minute. That combined with his expression immediately gave her the impression it was serious and shouldn’t wait to be talked about. She took his problems seriously after all, wanted just the best for him. Gena nodded.

“Actually, I switched shifts with Sarah, so I’m off all day. I have all the time you want. What happened? You look troubled, Bell.” And he usually didn’t hide his feelings from her. On top of it did he never put on a face to suggest he was troubled when he was not, this was real and Gena was immediately worried for him. “Sit down, please.” The girl with the locks asked him, wanting him to get off his feet to hopefully ground himself a bit.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Gena Martin

show me

ALL THE SCARS YOU HIDE

When Bellamy was properly inside, and was able to focus on his surroundings, he noticed what she had set up for them. It was enough to make a small smile appear on the corner of his lips. Whatever state he was in, she always managed to make him smile. To know exactly what he needed without him having to tell her. That was just it wasn't it; the understanding she had. The way they just worked together. Not a day or moment went by where he wasn't grateful for having her in his life in this way, or any way.

He was never oblivious to just how lucky he was; the honor that her companionship caused to stir within him. He turned to look at her as she revealed that she had switched shifts so she had tonight off. He wished he could have done something special for her, rather than continue to burden her with his own troubles. Which . . . he never wanted to do. And yet felt appreciative for when he could. He never feared judgment from her. Taking her advice, he sat down, making himself comfortable, but waited for her to do the same as well. Bellamy was never one to beat around the bush.

He often spoke directly, straight to the point. He supposed this should be no exception. He held out his hand for her to take, wanting her to sit with him, or better yet, on him. He just wanted to be as close to her as possible right now, and always. When they were comfortably situated, Bellamy paused in a thoughtful silence, figuring blurting it out was the best way to go. "They elected me to be Chancellor." That was all there was to it. He hadn't asked for the position, nor was he even running. But alas, it was given to him. The people had spoken and they asked for him. Bellamy wasn't certain as to whether that was an honor or a burden.

[Gena Martin]

As he came in, clearly troubled, she had a few things she knew to do. One was to pour him a mug of the tea she had prepared. It was aimed to relief him of the stress he often felt after a shift and it seemed more needed than ever before right now. With the cup she went to where he sat down. The girl with the locks placed it next to him, just in reach, so he could drink whenever he needed to. Then she felt his big, warm hand wrap around her smaller one. With a gentle pull she let him guide her to where he wanted her, not needing him to say anything, because she trusted him and trusted his judgment that he needed this or needed her to be where he would put her. He guided her to him. Gena barely understood the hint though. He wanted her to sit on his lap, probably needing the closeness. Gena complied. She sat down and leaned her shoulder against Bellamys chest, hand still in this, arm now wrapped around him to stabilize herself in that position. And then the bomb dropped, figuratively of course. 

Chancellor

Genas eyes widened in shock. This was unexpected and expected at the same time. He brought the kids through a horrible time. He brought down the mountain, protected their people, their kids, risked his own lives while others sat back and watched. He was one of the people they associated with action, not just empty words and promises. Gena let go of his hand to place it over his heart, smiling at him. The people electing him, mirroring what she thought all this time.

“They put their trust in you, Bellamy. And with right. You’ve kept the 100 alive – and don’t give me that ‘some died’ crap, ALL of them would have died without their leaders and you know it. They would have either been killed by the Grounders or themselves. You risked your life for our people so often, Bellamy. You aren’t full of empty words, your word holds true. What you say you do, you do and people trust it. You earned their trust and admiration. You’re a great leader.” Gena moved her hand to his hair, gently massaging his scalp just over his ear. She looked into his eyes. “They voted for the man who brought them through all of this and didn’t expect anything else in return.”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Gena Martin

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ALL THE SCARS YOU HIDE

Bellamy watched Gena, studying her expression carefully, seeing how she would react to the news. Her smile immediately put him at ease -- which was hardly uncommon for her to do. She held that ability, more than anyone else. She then moved her hand to his heart, a heart that contained a very special part for her. He silently listened to her words, taking each one in. Her words honored him, the way she spoke highly of him -- something he knew he didn't deserve. But then again, he was quite aware of the fact that he didn't deserve her in general.

He just . . . didn't act on it. He had been selfish for the entire duration of their relationship, and would continue to be so. She even countered a point he had intended to make, which caused a slight smirk to form on his lips. She knew him so well, and he loved that. How she always knew what to say, how he could trust her with anything and everything. She was a figure of support and affection he had never been blessed with in his life -- mainly because he had never allowed himself to be.

She didn't seem to be opposed to the offered position. In fact, she was explaining thing from the people's perspective, which he appreciated. Everything she said made him feel honored and privileged to be perceived that way . . . when he himself struggled to look past the lives he had taken as oppose to the lives he had helped save. He leaned into her touch as she gently massaged his scalp, the sensation providing a strong comfort and relaxed demeanor.

His mind continued to process what she said, along with so many other things. Clarke had been the one to give him the confidence to lead the people, but in her absence . . . well, he couldn't dwell on what it would mean if she was here. How it could strengthen them. This was about the position of Chancellor. Nothing else. When he processed enough to be able to speak, he did so. He wasn't hesitant to share his concerns and fears with her. He trusted her completely, unafraid of judgment or ridicule at his weaker moments. She had seen him at his worst, and she was still with him. So he felt completely comfortable opening up, explaining his uncertainties and doubt, especially in himself. 

"I don't know if I can deal with the repercussions again." He paused for a moment, before continuing, knowing he had to elaborate. "What if I have to make a decision that'll cost the lives of others. What if a situation comes up where it's . . . kill or be killed." He didn't have that same authority in this present moment. While he would do what he believed was right and nothing would change that, this title gave him far more power than he was comfortable with. He saw himself as an enforcer, not a leader per say. "I don't know if I can handle a situation like that again. And holding this kind of position, threatens to do that." A Mount Weather scenario where he had helped make a decision, and it had nearly cost him his soul. If it weren't for Gena, it definitely would have.

[Gena Martin]

Gena made sure to keep their contact. She kept on stroking him, kept her hand on his heart, but moved it so he would continue to feel the touch and not just get used to it by keeping it here. She wanted his senses to be able to pick up her being close, so he could cling to her, if he wanted to. If he needed to. She smiled softly at him, hoping he could take comfort in her presence. She tried, hard, to help him. He was not whole when she met him and he was not fully whole now, but she knew him, she saw the man he was and she loved him. She wanted to make sure he knew how much she loved this man and that she was willing to carry any burden with him, every single one. She wasn’t going to leave him alone. Or to force him to make a decision. She would support whichever he made. 

“Yes, it does.” She agreed. They both knew the reality of this world. The leader would have to make hard decisions, sometimes life and death decisions, sometimes decisions so horrible it would give anyone nightmares, they thought of the horrors he had seen, gave her nightmares and she witnessed his firsthand. And she tried to help him through them. “But you wouldn’t be alone in them. You would have the council, your friends. You wouldn’t have to carry any decision alone. Your word is the last one.” Gena looked at her hand on his heart. “You might be forced to make those decisions, but maybe your decisions will prevent you from getting into them. You are a good man, Bellamy, a great man. You fought for peace and for the lives of the people. You’re a clever man. I believe that your leadership can bring peace for us. You will stand with us through peace and war. You don’t have to make those decisions alone, Bellamy. And we will be with you at every step. I will be with you at every step.” Gena leaned forward to kiss him, to make sure he understood the promise she as giving him there. She would not leave him alone, even if they broke up, she would stand by his side, have his back, be there for him. She would be loyal to him at every step. “And if you can’t carry the burden of being the chancellor anymore, you can give it up again. It’s not a position for life. You’re the right man to be chancellor now. In the future, maybe someone else is the right man. You can always put the pin down and say ‘It’s enough, I’ve given enough’.” He already had given enough in her eyes. But she would be with him regardless.

Bellamy Blake