She Only Came For Me

[Lilly Cartwig]

Lilly stood on the edge of the camp wall and watched as they finished burying Roma. She had not been close to her, but she had known her well enough. They had been friends, sort of. Lilly wished she had gone with them to find Bellamy's sister but she had been afraid. She still was. The grounders were dangerous, and killing them one by one. They had one held prisoner! This wasn't the Earth they had trained for as children. This was hell, and they were loosing!

Bellamy Blake walked back from the grave and toward camp, and she stood up straighter. Waiting until he came to rest before her, Lilly tried to think of something to say. It wasn't easy to bury a friend, and she knew that the past few night he and Roma had spent them together. She wasn't sure what was between them, but she knew it wasn't easy. "Hey," She said softly, still not sure how to help either of them, or anyone. "She died quick?" That question spilled out, before she could stop it. She had not been besties with Roma, but she sat beside her on the way down, and they had been friends. In the Sky Box their cells had been beside each other.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Lilly Cartwig

she only

CAME FOR ME

So much had happened in the last little while. Octavia had gone missing. They'd captured and tortured a Grounder. Finn had been poisoned -- Octavia poisoned herself . . . and they had lost more of their people. Roma included. Bellamy hadn't had the chance to mourn her, until now. Until Octavia had been given the antidote, until he put someone he trusted to guard the Grounder, until things were relatively calm -- or as calm as they were going to be. This was all getting to be too much.

On top of everything else, the blod of 320 people was on his hands. He had made no show of how it affected him, but it did. A lot. His sister hated him now too, which made it impossible to talk to anyone about well, anything. The guilt was weighing on him, building up. To the point where he just wanted to run. Why bother staying? The Ark would come down here soon and the Chancellor was going to kill him for his crime. There was no way he'd be pardoned. Why stay? What was the point of him being here?

He looked at the grave where Roma was buried. More guilt. She had gone to find Octavia for him . . . she had died because of him. He couldn't save her,and he hated himself for that. He waited for the others to leave, taking only a few extra moments by himself, trying to regain his composure. He couldn't make any show of his emotions. Stoic. That was how he had to carry himself. Taking a deep breath he got up and made his way back to the camp, where Lilly was there, greeting him, asking if Roma had died quickly.

The second she had fled from the group, Bellamy had gone after her. But he had been too late. The image of her, speared against the tree, eyes looking at him, was yet another image to haunt him every time he closed his eyes. "Yeah," he replied, forcing the suppression of any emotion in his voice. It was painless for her, but she should be alive right now. She should be here with them. "She didn't suffer." There should be comfort in that, but Bellamy felt none. He just stood there, coming to grips with everything -- or well trying to. Something kept him from walking away from Lilly, and yet another part of him needed to so that he could do something productive. It was clear by his unmoved position which part of him was winning.

[Lilly Cartwig]

"Yeah," Bellamy was never emotionless but sometimes it was really hard to read more then what he wanted to let you see. You knew there was more happening, but you were never sure what he was. She knew this had to be hard for him--it was hard for anyone to lose someone they knew. While she wasn't sure what had been between then, he had to feel more then he was willing to show. "She didn't suffer." That was something. After hearing what they had done to Jasper she was glad they had not gotten their hands on Roma. No one should die that way.

They were kids! Sent down here to die, and they slowly were. One at time. Not due to the radiation like they thought but because there were demons that lived here. Lilly was scared. She was so scared of them and the only place that felt even somewhat safe was the camp. "I'm sorry I didn't go with you." She said, knowing that it was not a type of sorry that would make her go next time. She could fight alright if it was on of the teenage boys here--you hit him and he went away or backed off. She couldn't do anything out there. She wasn't sure how to even try. Her only advantage was that she was able to keep her head, and didn't panic into making things worse. Roma hadn't had that, and now she was dead.

Lilly stepped closer to him, and reached her hand out to touch him arm. Then as if giving up on trying, she all but fell into him and wrapped her arms around his middle. They would all be dead with out Bellamy. It wasn't the camp that made everyone feel safe it was knowing that he was making it safe. And right now, she was hurting and afraid and she just wanted some of his strength. Maybe to even give him some comfort as well.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Lilly Cartwig

she only

CAME FOR ME

Lilly apologized for not going, though he could hear in her tone that there was no regret there. Truth be told, he was glad for it. Glad that she didn't regret not going. Because, look what happened. Look what he had let happen. He had failed in protecting these kids when asserting himself into a position of authority. "You could have been dead too." It was all he could say. He held no resentment to her, what right did he have? Roma was dead because of him. He shouldn't have let her come. He shouldn't have let any of them come. He should have gone by himself. Octavia was his sister, she was his responsibiliy.

No one else should die because of his failure to protect his family. He wouldn't let it happen again. He refused. "It's good you stayed." Because Roma's death was painful enough. He had known her. Known her on the Ark, spent time with her down here. She was a damn good person. And now, she was gone. Just like that. Gone, because of her loyalty to him. Bellamy snapped out of whatever trance his thoughts and emotions placed him under when he felt Lilly reach for his arm, before wrapping both her arms around him.

He paused, not instantly reacting, his hands hovering out on either side of her. He wasn't used to hugs. But right now, he didn't deserve any. Perhaps it was that undeserving feeling that made him hesitant. Yet, there was an undeniable comfort in the feeling of her arms around him. Of her body against his. Whether he deserved it or not, he couldn't resist it. So he responded, slowly wrapping his arms around her in return, holding her close against him, as if he was afraid of letting go. As if he was scared that if he released her . . . she too would suffer the same, unfair fate that Roma had.

[Lilly Cartwig]

She could have been dead too. Yeah, that was true but it didn't make it any easier to know that had they gone out in force that maybe they could have come back the same way. Yet because of fear only a few of them had gone out looking for his sister, and instead stayed back behind the wall where they knew they'd be safe. Now Roma, and John were dead. "Maybe, but that is something we have to get used too right?" Which was the dumbest thing she'd ever heard. "Maybe if more of us went, more would come back."

It had ever made any sense to her why Roma even went, but Lilly wasn't judging a dead girl. Pulling back from the hug she looked up at him, knowing there was still more to this. "Have you told her girlfriend yet?" That wouldn't be easy. At least Murphy wasn't around to know that his best friend (though Lilly thought they were more) was dead. Bree however was here and Lilly knew that she would take it hard. None of them were used to people dying. "I can help you, if you want." Feeling like she needed to make up for not going, was what prompted that. IN truth, she didn't want to see anyone's face as they where heart broken.