Your Responsibility

[Aurora Blake]

Marcus Kane

---

They warned her of heightened hormones. Usually they just made her sick of the food they were given, of the little food she had access to in the canteen, with her new work. Aurora mostly kept to herself these days as she had unfortunate timing when going to get food with either Kane being there. She didn’t want to look at either of them. She didn’t want to see their looks, stares, though she wasn’t sure there were stares, she had made a point at not looking at the two of them. She couldn’t. Being left was one thing, being left after having done everything in her power to give him an incentive to stay was another thing, at least in her eyes. 

Though today, as she felt nauseated by everything and she saw him once more in the halls, she felt herself grow angry. She was here, carrying his kid, having given him a way out. It was her own fault, but she had wanted the kid. She had wanted to be a mother, how could she blame any of that on him? Well they had warned her of losing her head. It was a possibility. She had known this. But suddenly she felt this overpowering anger at him. Aurora made her way to his quarters. She had heard of him working, so she waited there, in front of his door, the baby fluttering inside her belly, anger raging within her. Finally she heard familiar footsteps – hell she still recognized those!

“Marcus.”

[Marcus Kane]

Marcus was walking home though the halls of the Ark when he came to a surprised stop at the sight of the woman out side his door. After a few seconds of staring at her, he started to walk forward toward her. He had heard she had quit the guard, and apart of him (admittedly a very selfish part of him) wanted to believe she was here to tell him she had done it for them, and that they could be together--but he knew better.

His eyes dropped to her belly, and then to her face. He had read her permit a hundred times. Over and over. He had broken up with her for both of their careers, and she in turn quit and applied for a baby permit with someone else. To say that he almost went to punch the man was an understatement. When he heard it was approved, he locked himself in his home for a day and drank, before coming out more determined then before. Every rule would be followed from here on out. By the book. No more falling for girls he shouldn't. "Blake," he greeted, as he came to a stop before her. "You are a bit far from factory station." Because that was where she was now, since she was no longer a guard.

[Aurora Blake]

His tone was so very clear to read that moment. He was pissed, cold, he didn’t expect her to be here. The two of them were really broken up, but Auroras hormones would not let her leave now. She felt her anger grow and her body desire closeness to someone. She loved him, she would probably love him for a very long time, if not forever. She had done this so he could fulfill his dreams, but Aurora had not anticipated she had signed up for a break up and on top of it for them to stop being in each others lives, but she needed to be there for her child – who else would be? And she had wanted to do that anyway, for different reasons once upon a time.

“You’re a right Sherlock Holmes, aren’t you?” Aurora replied. “But it appears I have to go all this way in order to even talk to you these days and something tells me, that me ambushing you like that was actually the only way you would talk to me. If you intend to actually talk to me.” Which she highly doubted. Somehow she had the feeling this would not be pleasant at all. “I would think I’d deserve at least a damn explanation why you left and why you won’t even look at me or speak to me or never even spoke to me. You know I idolized you before I fell in love with you. That idol fell very hard, Marcus. I would have never expected you to … “ She had to break off, knowing if she continued she would break into a rage and make him a scene in the middle of the damn hallway.

Marcus Kane

[Marcus Kane]

She was causing a scene int he middle of the damn hallway, and Marcus hated scenes more then he hated breaking rules. "You’re a right Sherlock Holmes, aren’t you?" Clearly she was pissed at home for something but he had no idea what about! She was the one who had applied for the permit with another man and left the guard! If she was going to fucking do that then she could have come to him, but instead--knowing that he had ended it for both of them, she went off to some neighbor and climbed in his bed the moment he told her--and judging by how quickly the permit was done she had been in that neighbor's bed very quickly.

"But it appears I have to go all this way in order to even talk to you these days and something tells me, that me ambushing you like that was actually the only way you would talk to me. If you intend to actually talk to me." WHich was untrue, and she had to damn well know it. He had never made plans to even tried to avoid her; SHE left the guard, SHE moved to factory, SHE quit her job. "I would think I’d deserve at least a damn explanation why you left and why you won’t even look at me or speak to me or never even spoke to me. You know I idolized you before I fell in love with you. That idol fell very hard, Marcus. I would have never expected you to--" Marcus moved forward and opened his door, before reaching out to her and grabbing her arm and pulling her into the room with an angry tug--making sure there was no way he could hurt her, but angry enough not to ask her in. Once the door was forced closed he turned on her. He was angry. He was pissed that she was pretending not to know why he broke up with her, he was pissed she was blaming him, and he was pissed she was throwing the fact that she loved him in his face when she had not told him before.

"I don't know what the hell has gotten into you, but you know damn well why I left, and you damn well that the moment I did you climbed into another's mans bed and made sure that there was no just walking back up to you for a conversations. So if you are dune yelling at me, maybe you can just tell me why you're here?!" Because looking at her hurt, and he didn't want to feel.

[Aurora Blake]

Aurora had expected anger of course. She knew him well enough to expect that, just as he knew her well enough to anticipate her reaction to things under normal circumstances. Normal circumstances did not include a baby growing in her and her instincts being on overdrive. He got her by surprise when he grabbed her arm to maneuver her inside. He apparently did not want to take care of this in the hall, not that she could blame him in his position. His career really had taken off. A relationship that would be frowned upon if not forbidden would not have allowed for that. The thought alone hurt. It had made for a wonderful dilemma in her life, but she could not regret the little one that came out of it. The baby was perhaps the best thing that ever happened to her, even though in some day it was just so damn hard, even harder to keep her instincts and moods in check. She failed this day, spectacularly. Usually it was just enough to stay, to keep working. 

Now, though, she felt herself tremble with emotion that she couldn’t identify, while she visibly deflated as he told her what he thought. He thought she slept with… he really thought she could move on that fast, like he could let go of this. She was nowhere near moved on.

“You really think that? You really think I slept with him? You really think…” He did. Otherwise he wouldn’t have said that. He really thought she was cold enough and distanced enough to jump into bed with someone else. Aurora wrapped her arms around her middle, out of instinct, as if to protect the baby. She turned away, unable to even look at him then. It felt like a knife to her heart. “I … never… once even considered sleeping with him, Marcus. I…” She was at a loss of words, yet she knew she had to say something. She had to explain why she was here, even though she had no idea why she was. Somehow she had to put this all into words. She took a moment to just breathe to gather herself. “He's infertile. He can’t even have kids, but with his relationships and mine we could get this permit threw fast. His name is on the permit, not because he’s the biological father, but because I was already pregnant.” There it was then, part of the truth. Knowing Marcus was a smart guy, she suspected by now he would have an idea. “I was already pregnant, but the father of my child left me for his career. For his career. I had to get a permit or have it killed, no way I would let them kill my baby. I want that kid, with or without father. So I got the permit. So I quit my job for a safer kid friendlier option. I came here because I missed you – I… I don’t even know anymore.”

Marcus Kane

[Marcus Kane]

“You really think I slept with him?” Marcus watched her face as she spoke, and his was angry. . . . and growing more so. What the hell was he supposed to think? He had not thought she was the type to do any of the things she was doing now! “I … never… once even considered sleeping with him, Marcus. I…” That wasn't true. She was pregnant. How the hell would she even get like that if------

He froze for a moment, the idea taking over him and it hurt. It made he take a numb step back while he could only stare at her. If she had not slept with the other man then the only way she could be pregnant was if the baby was his. The baby she was carrying now was his. His baby. He was going to be a father. . . . . . and she was giving it someone else' name. Which made him unfreeze and feel an anger he didn't know he could feel before. “His name is on the permit, not because he’s the biological father, but because I was already pregnant.” He didn't need it confirmed but she did it. And he was grateful for YEARS of working on control because right now was the closest he ever felt to loosing it. “I was already pregnant, but the father of my child left me for his career." The hell this was on him.

He didn't much hear anything else she said because at this point he held up his hand while she talked, and tried to make her stop. When she finally did, his voice was measured, rather then hurried but the anger was clear. It almost shook as he spoke each word. "To make sure I understand what you are saying. We could not be together publicly because it would have looked like you were fucking your way to the top and that I was sleazy officer allowing it to happen. So instead of telling me I was going to be a father you quit your job--which by the way would have solved the whole first problem--and apply for a permit with someone else? Which you did BEFORE I came to you! And you expect me to . . . to what Aurora? Thank you for taking the choice out of my hands? To be grateful that you rather move to some rundown factory section and have the baby in secret rather then inconveniencing me?"

He looked at her, unblinking and tried to understand what was happening her in her! HOW she could have done this to him! He would never have turned his back on her! She should have damn well known it! He would never had left her had he known---and he wasn't about to do it now.

[Aurora Blake]

“No. I don’t expect you to be anything, Marcus. I don’t expect anything at all.” Aurora placed her hand on her stomach, resting upon where the baby moved ever so gently, barely noticeable. From her perspective it was the truth: She expected nothing. She had missed him. She told him now. He knew now that this was his child, what he wanted to do with that information was entirely up to him. He was free of any burden that came with it, but he was also free to chose to step up to the role. He could have it either way and now he had all the time in the world to decide what his way would be. There were only a few more things left to say. Aurora smiled sadly at him. She reached out, but stopped herself before touching him. That was no longer her place to do.

“It wasn’t easy, Marcus. I had other things to worry about than telling you. I was pregnant with an illegal child. You know the rules. You know what choices I had. Kill the baby, have it in secret and risk being floated or make it legal. I felt like I had no other choice, Marcus. I wanted to tell you. When you broke up with me. But a broken heart is not a good adviser, as you know. Neither is my stubbornness.” And pregnancy hormones weren’t a good adviser either. Maybe she was just naive back then or idealistic, but that shattered now. “I didn’t want to tie you to me through this baby, Marcus. You’re not tied to me or obligated to the child in any form. You chose what you want at your time.” That was all she could say to him. He had to chose at his own time. He got to chose at his own time now. Aurora took a step back, preparing mentally to leave him alone to his thoughts, which were so clearly conflicted - not that she could blame him. She knew she'd be just as conflicted and pissed if she was in his position.

Marcus Kane

[Marcus Kane]

I don’t expect you to be anything. I had other things to worry about than telling you. or make it legal. I felt like I had no other choice. You’re not obligated to the child. His head was swimming from her words, and they only served to make him more furious! Did she hear herself speaking? "I should apologize," He began, "For whatever I did to make you have so little faith in me." Because she had applied for the permit BEFORE he broke up with her. She had done all this BEFORE he had spoken to her about them being unable to continue on as they had been.

"Of course I am obligated! This is MY child--no matter the steps you've taken to make sure I wasn't it's father!" He snapped at her. How could she do this to him?! How could she think he'd not care? Marcus wanted to shout at her, or shake her! She had put another man's name on his child's permit! Which means that when he made her change it--and he was going to do it real fast!--everyone would not only know about them but think she was sleeping around! His co-workers, and friends would forever wonder if the baby was really his! He held up his hand, cutting off anything she might have said after him. "We are going to go and edit the permit. You will replace his name with mine. This is my child. And I intend to be apart of his life!"

[Aurora Blake]

“No, please don’t.” She had had faith in him. She had wanted to tell him. She had wanted him to chose if he wanted to be a father or not. She didn’t want to tie him down and she had panicked. After she had been too stubborn and hurt to go to him, but nothing meant she didn’t have faith in him. She did. She had absolute faith in his leadership abilities, in his ability to be a wonderful father for the kid, as he had been a wonderful partner to her for how long it lasted. She had had faith in him, too much maybe. It was the council in whom she had no faith, it was luck she had no faith in, but right now, Aurora felt like he might be too upset to consider what she was feeling in that moment. It was a rare situation she had been in and she had acted on feelings rather than intellect, Aurora knew that. Things could have gone differently and probably should have gone differently as well.

Aurora stared at him, in shock, as he told her they’d have the permit edited. Did that work? Would that be something they could just do like that? She knew she would pay a prize, she would gladly do it. Her decisions had made this mess. Maybe theirs in combinations, but when it came down to it, she had decided to have a permit, now she had to deal with the consequences. With any luck her rations would be halved and that was it. That she would be able to deal with. And she might just have to. “Okay. We will do that. As soon as possible.” Aurora agreed. “You’re the babies father, then you’ll even be the father before the law.”

Marcus Kane