A List of Things I'm Handling Well: 1.

[Deleted]

Bryan wasn't sure how he felt. There was anger. Hurt. Sadness. Pike was dead. Murdered without trial, and it seemed there would be no justice for that. No one seemed to fucking care that a teenage girl had just executed a duly elected chancellor. Nate didn't either. He didn't understand and he wasn't going to pretend he did. Not that Bryan wanted lies to make him feel better. He knew what the answer would be already before he even asked Nate if he thought it was worth saving those slaves at Farm station. But hearing it from Nate's own mouth was too much.

He wasn't sure what it meant when he pushed Nate away from him. It couldn't be over, could it? After all this time, after all they'd been through... it couldn't be. But Bryan had never felt like he couldn't even look at Nate before, and... he felt that way now. He needed to get his things from their shared room and find somewhere else to sleep. At least for the night. Or however long it took before Bryan could face Nate again. It hurt so fucking much. He still loved Nate with his entire being, but he couldn't be with him right now.

Once he moved, he'd find Raven to see what he could do. Sleep wouldn't come easy tonight, not after what happened with Nate. And not after going back to Farm station, after seeing the faces of some of the men and women who attacked them on day one, seeing their cruelty yet again reflected in the faces of those slaves. Bryan started to make his way through Alpha station, arms crossed over his chest, hurt and anger battling for dominance on his face. He almost didn't notice Bellamy coming down the hallways in the opposite direction as him, but when he did, he stopped and tried to steel his expression as he looked up at him, jaw clenched. "Thank you. For saving those people." He wasn't sure how much more he could say, if he could even have a calm conversation right now, so he nodded briskly, then started to walk past Bellamy toward his destination again.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @bryanbryanbryan

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy had been braced for the backlash of his decision. But he had stood by it. Seeing the faces who they had brought to Arkadia, only further validated his confidence in his decision. Regarldess of what he chose to do, there would be those disapproving of him. And either way, he would have to live with it. It was far easier to live with this, than it would be to condemn the slaves. He had never been willing to sacrifice his own people and besides . . . there were children there. So no, he did not regret it. He would take responsibility for it. And, deal with the consequences.

As he made his way down the halll he saw Bryan who looked . . . upset. It was understandable. Bellamy had seen how close he had been to breaking during the return to Azgeda. The venture had been difficult for Bryan, and Bellamy would not have asked him to go -- or brought up the idea rather -- had there been any other option. Bellamy was about to tell Bryan that he had nothing to thank him for, though the male seemed quick to leave. It prompted Bellamy to gently reach out to touch Bryan's arm in attempt to stop him, his eyes meeting Bryan's as he tried to read what he saw in his face. "Hey," he said in a low voice. "Everything ok?" He questioned, voice holding concern. Because . . . well, he could see it was not.

[Deleted]

Bryan felt Bellamy touch his arm and he stopped, closing his eyes for a brief moment to once again try to fix his expression into one that looked calm. One that looked strong. Because... that's what he had to be. At least in public. He wasn't really the best as hiding his emotions, though, so he wasn't sure what was actually on his face as he turned to look back at Bellamy again, meeting his gaze. "It has to be, right?" he said. "They're dead; we're alive." They would have had a lot less trouble if they'd gone in to kill, like Bryan had suggested (and if they hadn't laid down their weapons so fast later). But he'd been outvoted, and at the end of the day, the score was settled.  "And this place isn't going to fix itself," he added, glancing up at the hallway ceiling.

Even if he was doing a good job concealing his emotions right now, he'd spent the entire ride back to Arkadia in the front of the rover with Bellamy, with the others in the back, Nate among them. Bryan had spent at least the last half of the ride back silently trying to figure out what the fuck to even say to Nate when they faced each other again in the relative safety of Arkadia. "Anything you need?" he asked, looking back at Bellamy. Pike was gone. Kane, Abby, and Clarke had taken over like they'd been elected, and were treating Octavia like she had a place at the fucking table when she should be locked up awaiting trial for murder. There wasn't anyone left "in charge" that Bryan trusted other than Bellamy, so he was the best person to ask that of.

Tag: Bellamy Blake