Ding Dong The Bell Is Dead (AKA After The Brain Splattering)

[Deleted]

Jasper stayed with Raven for a while after Bellamy's death, after she streaked her face red with blood from scratches she'd inflicted on herself in her agony. Jasper couldn't really think straight, his mind racing from anguish to numbness to rage. How could Pike walk into this camp like he owned the place, take over, and then kill Bellamy?? Someone he'd seemed close to. Someone they'd all depended on since the dropship had hit the ground. How could Bellamy be dead? There was the denial too. Jasper knew these feelings too well, remembered his mind racing from one to the next after Maya's death, and in addition to all the expected feelings of grief, this time there was also fear. He'd been starting to make progress, to be able to make it though the day without booze. The fear of spiraling out of control again was very real.

He'd helped carry the casket at the memorial, though he'd almost collapsed, overwhelmed with grief and anxiety, as he did, and when he went to take his place in the crowd for the memorial, he looked for a familiar face. He looked for Monty. Things weren't good between them, but he needed his best friend, and well... maybe Monty would need him too right now. This wasn't like Mount Weather, where only one of them was drowning in pain, where only one of them had lost someone they loved. They both loved Bellamy. Jasper knew that without needing to ask, or hear the words.

He found the back of Monty's head in the crowd and walked over on legs that felt weak, his breath shaky as he touched Monty's upper arm and waited for Monty to look at him. His pained, tearful expression was hesitant, but asking clearly without words if they could stand together right now. If they could be with each other right now. Monty had left him at the dropship that night with Finn's ashes, but if even Bellamy's death couldn't let them put things aside or now and grieve together, Jasper wasn't sure anything ever could.

Tag: Monty Green

[Monty Green]

Monty stood among the crowd of people who'd come to say a final goodbye to Bellamy, he knew that he wasn't the only one that was grieving, he knew that many of the people gathered were crying. However, he still held back his own emotions, every time he felt a tear slide down his cheek, he'd quickly brush it away before anyone could see. He wasn't able to wrap his head around the idea of never seeing Bellamy alive again and every time he tried to imagine a world without Bellamy, a fresh wave of tears would escape from his eyes and he'd be forced to stop and furiously work on trying to wipe them from his face but all his efforts did was spread the moisture around his face and make him look even more of a mess than he already was. Bellamy hadn't deserved to die, nobody really deserved death but after everything that Bellamy had done for them since they came to earth, he deserved better. He'd kept them alive, without him there was a real chance that none of them would be alive now.

Now that Bellamy was gone, Monty didn't know what to do, he had nobody within Arkadia that he thought that he could talk to. Harper and Miller were nowhere near, hopefully they were far away from the camp so at least they could be safe and he hadn't exactly been on great terms with Jasper, not since Mount Weather. At the thought of Jasper, Monty found himself wishing that he had his brother by his side, when Jasper was around it always made it easier for him to face things. He'd just lifted a hand to his face again to wipe away another tear that had managed to slip from his eye despite his efforts of trying to hold them back, when he felt somebody touch his arm. The only person who he could think of it being was his mother and he definitely didn't want to speak with her, she was under the impression that as a traitor, Bellamy deserved to be executed. What she didn't seem to understand was that Bellamy wasn't a traitor, not to him and not to a lot of people who were gathered at his memorial.

Turning around, his mouth parted slightly when he realised who it actually was. He hadn't expected for his brother to seek him out, not after everything that had happened between them recently. It was reassuring for Monty to know that after everything, Jasper still wanted to be with him at times like these. Without any real hesitation, Monty opened his arms and wrapped them around the other man in a hug, he was fully prepared for Jasper to push him away, but the hug felt so familiar, even after they'd spent so long apart. "I'm sorry" he muttered the words, they came out sounding weak and truthfully he didn't know what he was apologising for. Mount Weather, for leaving him at the dropship when he'd obviously needed support or just as to voice his condolences for Bellamy's death because he knew that Jasper had lost him too and that he was hurting as well. Maybe it was for all three, sorry didn't make any of it better, but it was the only thing he could say at that moment without the risk of breaking down completely.

@jasper420

[Deleted]

Jasper had been afraid Monty might push him away when he saw who had waked up to him, but relief flooded him when Monty wrapped his arms around him. He automatically, without hesitation, returned the embrace, clinging to Monty tightly for a moment. The acceptance from Monty in that hug, that they could go through this together now in spite of not having resolved anything between them, was all it took for Jasper to crumple again. He sagged against Monty, letting out a small sob against Monty's shoulder where he'd pressed his face. "Shut up," Jasper said to Monty's apology, but the words were not unkind. Given the circumstances, there was actually affection in his tone, because they were hugging for the first time in months, and they both needed it more than anything right now. He had no idea what Monty was apologizing for. What happened at the dropship? Mount Weather 1.0? Or something else? It didn't matter now, because Bellamy was fucking dead, and that... shouldn't be.

"H--how... how did this--?" How had this even happened, Jasper wanted to know. And he knew Monty had sided with Pike and Bellamy during everything that happened in camp, so Monty would know, if Monty was able to tell him. He didn't expect an answer now, though, his question more a general acknowledgement that Bellamy was not supposed to die, and soon someone near the grave was speaking, and he had to pull back from the hug to watch the service. He didn't let got of Monty, though, one hand cured into the back of his brother's jacket, as if he might collapse if he let go.

Tag: Monty Green
ooc: If you want to skim to the end of the memorial, feel free!

[Monty Green]

Monty was relieved when Jasper didn't shove him away or yell at him, or even hit him. His brother had never hit him, not seriously at least and he didn't believe that he ever would, but when Jasper was under the affects of moonshine, he did unpredictable things and Monty didn't know him when he'd been drinking, not really, he was like a different person. When Jasper told him to shut up, Monty didn't argue, he was just content to stand there with Jasper's arms wrapped around him as the tears rolled down his cheeks. The familiar embrace of his brother made him feel comfortable enough to actually allow his tears to flow freely, he had never expected to hug Jasper again, never expected the other man to forgive him for his betrayal, because that's what it had been at Mount Weather, a betrayal because Monty had betrayed his brother's trust. Bellamy and Clarke had been there too but Monty had let it happened, he'd made it possible and for that, Monty never believed that forgiveness was an option for him and now his brother was actually holding him again. He wished it was under better circumstances, oh god how he wished that this wasn't the thing that pushed them together again.

"I don't know" he choked in reply to Jasper's words, he knew what had happened and how it had happened but he didn't know how it was possible that they had lost Bellamy and were there to say goodbye to him. Bellamy Blake was immortal, he was the man that couldn't die, people had tried, not just once, many times and he'd always made it out alive. This time there would be no miraculous escape, Monty had come to accept that Bellamy wouldn't be coming back, that didn't mean that he had to be happy about it. When Jasper pulled back so that they could watch the service, Monty was aware that he was still holding onto him and he copied his brothers actions of gripping the back of Jasper's shirt. He didn't know if it was more for himself or Jasper, he just knew that at that moment, he didn't want to be left standing alone and he didn't want Jasper to slip away from him when he was distracted by the service.

Once the service was over, Monty let his hand slip from behind Jasper and he folded his hands in front of him as he started to play with his own fingers. Swallowing back a sob as a tear slipped from his cheek to land upon his hands. He felt so angry, angry that nobody had stopped the execution and angry with himself that he hadn't done more to save his friend, but more than that he was sad. So incredibly sad, he'd never felt sadness like it, it had hurt when Jasper had rejected him after Mount Weather and when he'd believed his brother to be dead after being speared by the grounders, but nothing had ever hurt this much before. He hadn't had time to mourn Jasper after his spearing and then there had always been hope, this ceremony was confirmation that Bellamy was gone, it told Monty that there was no hope of his friend being alive, he'd seen him die in front of him so he knew it was true. He wished that he could get those images out of his head and just remember Bellamy for what he was, but now all he could think about was his body lying on the ground and he couldn't unsee that. He brought a hand up as if to wipe away the tears from his face but no sooner had he done that than a sob ripped from his throat and he doubled, putting his hands on his knees as he sobbed. He felt sick but knew that it was unlikely that he'd actually throw up "we should have done something!" he muttered to Jasper, knowing that he was still stood beside him "we should have stopped Pike" he'd done nothing, neither had anyone else but he'd just frozen. He hadn't even tried, all he did was stand there and hope for the best, that was less than a lot of people had done, at least some people had tried to prevent what had happened.

"It's Bellamy, Jasper" his voice broke as he spoke and he hoped that his friend wouldn't judge him for so openly breaking down when he rarely showed such emotion openly around others. Forcing himself to straighten up, he angrilly swiped at his cheeks "we did nothing to stop this!" he didn't know what to feel, angry or sad or both, he was sure feeling a lot of both at that moment. Both emotions were fighting to get to the surface, he didn't know which one to react to and that just brought more tears to his eyes. "How did we let this happen?!" they shouldn't have let it happen, none of them should and he wasn't just talking about himself and Jasper. None of them should have let it happen, nobody that said that they cared about Bellamy because if they truly cared for him how would they ever allow him to make this sacrifice. "He doesn't just get to do that! He doesn't just get to die and leave the rest of us here because what the hell are we supposed to do now?!" he demanded, more tears spilling down his cheeks. Not at the fact that Bellamy would no longer be there to bail them out, but because Bellamy was no longer there and they had to go on living as if everything was okay when it was the furthest thing from okay.

@jasper420

[Deleted]

Jasper didn't understand Monty's 'I don't know'. Hadn't he been in with Pike's people? Jasper though so, so he should know what happened, how Bellamy had wound up with a bullet in his head. Though it was entirely possible Monty was in too much shock to actually answer. Jasper had rarely seen Monty cry over the years, and he tended to bottle things up when he was upset. But when they turned to watch the ceremony, Monty was clutching the back of Jasper's shirt just as tightly as Jasper was clutching his. When Monty pulled away from him after the ceremony, Jasper turned to look at him, unsure what to expect now that the moment had passed. He knew Monty dealt with things much differently than him, and after they way they'd responded to one another after Mount Weather, it was clear Monty had expected Jasper to deal with his grief in a different way. Now... They'd hugged. They'd supported each other through the ceremony... now what?

He watched as Monty tried to hold back his tears... it didn't look like it was working very well, and Jasper almost opened his mouth to tell Monty it was okay to cry because tears were forming in Jasper's eyes again too, and he wasn't bothering to stop them. But when Monty wiped his tears, he sobbed and doubled over, stricken by emotion Jasper didn't think he'd ever seen from his brother. Jasper stood there frozen for a moment, Monty's own emotions making Jasper hurt more. On top of Bellamy dying, it had hurt Monty this badly that he was breaking down. Jasper knew this feeling too well. Oh fuck, was Jasper going to have to be the strong one now? How the fuck could he do that? Monty was always the strong one.

But he couldn't just freeze, so when Monty stood back up, Jasper moved to wrap his arms around him again. "I don't know, I don't know," Jasper barely managed to say in response to Monty asking how they let it happen. "I haven't exactly been in the loop." It was meant to be a dig at himself to offer some levity, but he sobbed through the words, so they didn't have the desired effect. How could he make a fucking joke right now anyway?

He brought a hand up to cup the back of Monty's head as he continued, trying to comfort his friend, while still crying himself. "Right now, we cry," he said. Because he didn't know what the fuck they were going to do in the long term without Bellamy. The idea that Bellamy could even be gone was still something Jasper could barely deal with. All he knew was that right now, from experience, when things were this bad, all they could do is feel what they were feeling. "Probably a lot. Where do you want to go?" Because Monty was crying now, letting his feelings out, and he didn't want Monty to close up once he started becoming aware they weren't alone again.

Tag: Monty Green