We're Running Away

[Deleted]

Nothing could be heard but the beating of Ontari's heart as she padded down the hallway to the room where one particular girl slept. It was quite late in the night, the moon was high in the sky and just beginning its descent back down to the horizon. The light it gave was low as it was only a small crescent and Ontari had to squint to see in front of her, to make sure she didn't run into anything or anyone that might stop her plans before they even had a real chance to begin. It didn't help the situation one bit that Ontari was scared and that when she was scared, she tended to mess things up. Really, scared was quite an understatement to how Ontari felt. Not only was her heart beating like a war drum of Trikru but her brow was covered in sweat and her breathing shallower than it should have been. It was becoming increasingly difficult to stay quiet with the way her breaths seemed to come in and out like gasps, the air cold and harsh as it scrapped down her throat. This was a new type of fear, one Ontari had yet to ever experience in her life and there was only one reason for it: The conclave.  When she arrived at the room, she didn't bother to knock on the door. She opened it as quietly as she could and slipped inside, making sure to then close it behind her in case anyone walked past to see it open. Her plan would only be successful if she was careful. Once inside the room, Ontari moved over to the bed, smiling down at the figure beneath the sheets. Even with the lack of the light in the room, Ontari was able to see Lexa's sleeping figure and to feel a swell in her heart at the sight of her. The feeling was something she had never gotten used to and she had come to believe had some sort of magical power. The swell of her heart calmed some of her fear, enough that she felt like she could breathe again and enough that she knew she would be able to speak when she woke Lexa.  Crouching down next to the bed, Ontari placed a light kiss on Lexa's forehead before placing another on her lips. "Lexa," Ontari whispered, needing to wake her without scaring her or causing her to make any loud noises. "Lex, it's Tari. Wake up, star." She smiled as much as she could but it was difficult, even with it being Lexa she was trying to smile at. The initial smile at the sight of Lexa had faded as her fear began to surface again in her features. Most of the time, Ontari had learned to become great at hiding most of the emotion from her face but now, it seemed impossible. It was like the fear was stripping back all of her defences. Like the fear she felt over having to kill Lexa in the conclave was stronger than all the training she had completed in her years growing up. Derrick || Let's say this is like the night before the conclave is due to happen? Also, Lexa doesn't have to be awake. Tari couldn't see enough to know if she was laying awake. Saying that, let me know if there's anything you'd like me to change about this!

[Derrick]

The news had been shocking and terrifying all at once. Their Heda was dead, cut down in their prime and Lexa had felt the tril of grief at her fallen teacher and commander, the shock of the death and then the terror of what it all meant. When the current heda died, the natblida novitiates entered the conclave with the winner being chosen by the spirit of the commander. When the natblida entered the conclave, it meant a fight to the death - all of their training was not only preparing them for leading but for killing each other.

Killing each other.

Killing Luna but most of all, killing Ontari. When the news broke all she could think about was Tari, about the light and love of her life. So distraught that she barely ate and then when she bathed and went to bed, she spent half the night staring up at the ceiling, her body trembling and digust pooling in her stomach. She couldn't kill Tari and she couldn't let Tari kill her either - the guilt would eat her alive no matter how strong she was. Lexa made no mistake - Tari was strong and she was so proud and in love that her heart ached. She'd fallen asleep, what miracles of miracles that was, and this time she wasn't dreaming but a nightmare of darkness and being utterly alone dominated her mind.

Her name was called, beckoning to her as she walked through the darkness, alone. Her eyes snapped opened, green visionaries peering at the figure before her and her heart began to race and slow down all at once with the nightmare falling to the wayside. Immediately she sat up, letting her body go from restfulness to alert. The use of 'star' sought a smile upon her lips, reminding her of the night under the skies where Lexa had woken Tari up just to sneak out to see them.

Lexa had struggled to find a nickname for Tari because all the ones she thought of sounded really bad. She thought about moon to be opposite her nickname of star but then it hit her. Sun. The true opposite of the moon and stars. The sun was bright, beautiful and warm - the same things that Tari was. Because without Tari, her life would be dark. Tari was that bright shining light and she needed her more than air itself.

As corny as that sounded.

Lexa's own fear was hidden behind her own mask though she saw Tari's fear as plain as day; much like Tari would probably be able to see her own fear in her eyes, the only place where her true expression showed. Not to mention they'd spent enough time together that Tari could read her unlike any of their other siblings. "Hey, it's okay, I'm awake now." She paused, reaching over for her hand for reassurance. "Talk to me, Sun. I'm not going anywhere." There had to be one reason why she was woken up. Fear of the conclave. What else could it be?

Oh how little did she know.

iah

((ooc// all sounds good to me!))

[Deleted]

Ontari didn't move to say or do anything more as she watched Lexa come out of her sleep. Even in the low light she was able to see the movement of Lexa's eyes when they opened and it was impossible to miss when she sat up in bed, the movement so fast and sudden that Ontari couldn't help but worry she might have scared her love. In that moment before Ontari's eyes focused enough in the low light to see what emotions were in Lexa's eyes, she found her fear cooking in a way that made her wonder if Lexa would even be worried about the conclave. She was the strongest out of them all, after all, even more so than Luna. At least that was what Ontari assumed by all the times they had trained together. Maybe Lexa wouldn't be scared because she knew she would win. Maybe the conclave would mean more to her than Ontari. Her own expression must have been so much more terrified than it had been before but it was then that Ontari's eyes adjusted. She was so used to reading Lexa's face, to pushing past the mask she always had up and seeing what she was really feeling. It hadn't taken her too long to realise that all of Lexa's emotions were held in her eyes, especially with the way that Ontari loved Lexa's eyes and loved gazing into them. Now as she looked into Lexa's eyes she saw fear. The same fear that Ontari felt. Her own worries, the trailing thoughts of her mind had been wrong. At least she knew that to a degree. Still, who knew if Lexa was scared because of what she had to do or because she might not be chosen by the spirit of the commander. Either of those would be solid reasons for her to be afraid, even if Ontari's reason was because of the first and so she hoped that Lexa's would be the same. It was difficult to let her worries on those options fade. She knew how much Lexa had trained, knew how committed she was to it all. Any confidence she had held in her plan was quick to be swallowed up by her fear and worry, leaving her unsure if she could even ask Lexa to run away with her anymore. And, well, she couldn't imagine running without Lexa with her. There would be no point. "It's tomorrow," Ontari replied, her voice shaking ever so slightly. Forcing a breath in through her nose and letting it back out through her mouth, Ontari shut her eyes for moment to gain back just enough control. She was not someone who ever cried in front of others. That wasn't going to change, even if the conclave was looming in the very near future. She squeezed Lexa's hand but she did it for her own comfort, reminding herself of the contact, that Lexa was there and that they loved each other. When her eyes opened yet again, there wasn't even the slightest bit of a smile left on her face. "I don' wanna kill you," Ontari mumbled, the words coming out all smooshed together. Moving up out of her crouch, Ontari sat on the bed next to Lexa, close enough that there sides were pressed together. She slid her arm around Lexa's back and let her hand rest lightly at her hips, wanting some comfort by being close to Lexa. Her other hand stayed intertwined with Lexa's and she glanced down at their joined hands as they rested on Ontari's thigh. She took a deep breath before she spoke again, to give her voice more strength. "I don't want to kill you," she repeated, "I don't want to kill anyone." Stopping there, Ontari just waited for Lexa's response, the worry in her mind still shouting at her that Lexa might be feeling differently to her, that she might not want to be a part of the plan. Derrick || So much angst

[Derrick]

It was funny how a few years ago, Lexa's focus had been on the future. Train to become the next heda, the idea of killing her siblings wasn't exactly a strong thought back then. Just something that needed to be done in order to fulfill her duty. And oh how Titus was so proud of her - her dedication and her strength and her willingness to learn. It was amazing how quickly thoughts could change, from a girl who wanted to do her duty to a girl who didn't want to participate in the conclave. How could she kill the girl she was in love with? Because love was weakness, or so Titus liked to say constantly. Well that wasn't good enough, why couldn't she have both? Because only one natblida could come out as the victor. Only one could become heda.

Lexa swallowed the feelings that threatened to surface, wanted to reach over and hold Ontari tightly and promise her that it would be okay - except that would be a lie. "The conclave." Was all Lexa said in response to her words of it being tomorrow. There was no joy or anticipation that lingered on her features but resignation and sadness. If she could curl up and cry then she would but that had been knocked out of her years ago. Crying in front of others wasn't something she did - alone yes but not around others. She didn't even think she cried in front of Ontari. Not born out of fear that she would use it against her, but just a vulnerable side she didn't show anyone. Act strong, she had to act strong even when she felt weak.

Like now.

As Ontari clambered onto the bed, holding onto Lexa, she returned the gesture and scooted a little closer, keeping Tari as close to her as possible without ending in each others laps. Her heart leaped into her throat, constricting her ability to speak even as she listened to the words. Of course she didn't want to kill anyone. Ontari was a fierce but gentle spirit. "I don't want to kill you either. I can't. I love you too much. I don't care what Titus says." Lexa almost growled out the name of their teacher, though the rest of her tones were soft, just above a whisper. At this point she hoped to be matched up against someone else and be killed, just to spare Tari from that pain. Well, pain of killing, not the pain of grief. "I always looked at the conclave as doing my duty. Be the good little natblida. But how can they ask us to fight and kill? I don't want to do my duty if it means losing you."

And that was her biggest fear. Losing Tari. Whether it was by death or some other force that Lexa didn't know about. She could not lose her. She cuddled a little bit tighter against her frame, leaning with her head on Tari's shoulder and just listening to her heart beat and the way she breathed. It wasn't her nightmare, of being alone in the dark, that scared her anymore. It was the conclave. How stupid and naive she was to think she could think differently about it. "What do we do?"

iah

((ooc// all aboard the feels train choo choo!))

[Deleted]

The worry clouded Ontari's mind and left her so much more scared than she had been walking down that hallway to Lexa's room. It was at least lucky that her breathing was under control, her body calmed enough by Lexa's presence but her mind was swirling. Her thoughts were being pulled around like a tornado was running through her brain. The fact that it was the conclave Ontari had been talking about was obvious, the most obvious thing in the whole situation was that the conclave was happening tomorrow. Having it said out loud wasn't comforting in any way, hence why Ontari hadn't been able to twist her lips into shape to say it herself. The mention of time was enough without being so direct and bringing with the word nothing but the fear that Ontari had just learned to associate with it. It didn't matter too much, though, she guessed, since she was already so scared. So fearful. So terrified. And not in one bit for her own life but for the life of the one she loved. The one who loved her as well. As much as Ontari knew that, as much as the words weren't new they still held so much too them. Maybe because they were accompanied by the confirmation that Lexa didn't want to kill Ontari. "I love you too," Ontari replied, the words coming out as almost a reflex but still holding complete emotion and truth in them. That was why she was here in Lexa's room. Why she had came up with her plan. That was why she wasn't going to wimp out because she would have no second chances. If they didn't escape tonight, only one of them would live through tomorrow and Ontari couldn't let that happen. "You were always a good little natblida," Ontari pointed out. It might have been a joke if Ontari was the type to make them often but she wasn't. She could be blunt and she was too thoughtful of the realistic dangers that loomed to have much time for jokes anymore. For years it had been that way. She cared enough to often avoid words that might be hurtful but she wasn't one to give false hope or make unneeded jokes. Ontari's hand moved from Lexa's waist to her arm and she rubbed lightly at the skin in an attempt to be comforting. That's what Ontari felt she needed to be in the moment, even if she was the one physically showing the most fear, even if they were both probably feeling just as scared as each other. Ontari found a motherly role in the younger nightbloods and she held a need to look after them all. That didn't change when it came to Lexa, only became stronger. She wanted to do all she could to look after Lexa, her shining star. "Being a good little natblida isn't worth it. I can't kill my siblings, I can't kill the little kids I helped grow up, I can't kill you." It felt like she needed to repeat that. Again and again. She couldn't kill Lexa and that was the fire fueling this whole plan she had. "We can't do our duty," she told Lexa, ready to start laying out her plan for escape. As much as Ontari wanted to stay there with Lexa cuddling the fear away, they didn't have the time to waste. They couldn't blow their chance. "We run away," Ontari began, the words coming out clear and strong. She turned her face to press her lips to Lexa's hair for a moment then pulled away far enough that she could clearly see her face. "There are stories of peaceful clans, and even if they aren't true, we could find somewhere. We just need to get away from Polis. We won't have to kill anyone if we aren't here for the conclave." She laid out her intentions in what she hoped was a clear way, in a way that Lexa would respond positively to. All the words that Lexa had said had come to ease her worries over how Lexa viewed the conclave, had managed to make her feel confident again about the success of her plan but nothing would be concrete until she heard Lexa agree to it and knew she would run away with Ontari. "Run away with me, Star." Derrick || I think I want to get off the feels train XD THE FEEEEELS

[Derrick]

The conclave had never invoked as much fear as it had that night. It was a very real possibility of having to do her duty though she thought their commander would live longer than this; not to mention her fear had amped up when she had fallen in love with Ontari. It was why she never thought about the conclave, as much as humanely possible. She avoided talking about it too much, focused on other words instead when Titus brought the subject up. She had mastered the art of looking as though she was paying him attention rather than ignoring certain words and phrases.

"If being a good little natblida means killing you then I don't want to be a good little natblida anymore." Lexa replied, her emotions slipping through her voice rather than holding them back. Being the good little natblida was what she knew. What she was and the words didn't hurt as much as they reminded her what would happen if they entered the conclave. A shiver coursed through her body, making her tremble and she didn't bother hiding that either. Instead she curled up closer into Tari's frame, gaining comfort and warmth that otherwise eluded her.

'We can't do our duty.' Lexa agreed with Tari's words, giving a quick nod to show she agreed with her. But how would they not to their duty? What could they even do? It was Tari who had the answer it seemed, to run away and yet Lexa wasn't sure where they could run to. She wasn't saying no to the words, thinking about it more on the side of where they could go to. If they ran, they'd be dubbed traitors of the blood and could be hunted down and killed if the next commander wished for it. Lexa wasn't worried about herself but for Tari, her Sun though she knew this wasn't a choice based on just fear alone. Very real thought had been put behind this just as she was thinking about it now. Thoughts such as a small village half a days walk from Polis had horses that they could use to travel further rather than rely on foot.

Or part of the rivers that crossed through Trikru, the point shallow each to safely collect water and deep enough to fish for eels. Was it crazy that she was even considering it? Leave everything behind that she knew fot a future where her and Tari survived? A few years ago she had asked Tari if she trusted her. Though she hadn't been asked that question, Lexa felt it deep within her bones. I asked her if she trusted me. Now it's my turn to trust her. It was a crazy plan, absolutely insane. And yet as she looked into Tari's eyes in the dim light of her room, all she could do was nod her head.

"I'll run with you anywhere." Lexa spoke, clearing her throat since she had been so quiet. "I'm not sure how much we can take now but remember those villages south of Polis? We can pick up supplies there." The village that helped people on their way, no matter who they were. Of course Lexa had never been there; she just heard stories from those that did whenever she milled about in the markets. Slowly she uncurled herself from Tari to pull herself to her feet, her hand still clasped around hers. "We leave together."

iah
((ooc// *dies of feels*))

[Deleted]

Lexa's answer wasn't immediate and while Ontari felt like she should worry, she didn't. Her fear was telling her to worry, the complete and utter fear of the conclave that felt engraved on her bones. It couldn't force her to worry about the pause though because she knew Lexa and she knew that she would want to think over this. Of course there was still uncertainty about whether Lexa would actually agree to this, partly because of how she thought things through but it wasn't as if it was a completely lost plan. Ontari had the stories she had heard about the peaceful clan, even the name of a person that might be able to tell them more about how to find the spoken of clan. Even if they weren't able to find any lead on that, both Ontari and Lexa would be able to survive together in the wilderness. They would together hold enough knowledge to keep themselves safe, to eat, to drink and to eventually find somewhere stable.  The biggest downfall of this run away attempt would be getting stuck in it. Never being able to stop. Never finding somewhere safe. Ontari held hope that wouldn't happen but even so, if they were hunted down, a safe place might not even exist. If Lexa rejected her plan for that reason or for any other reason, Ontari would be crushed but she would accept that. No matter what happened, Ontari would at least stay by Lexa's side until morning, either as their last night together or their first night of a new life. There wasn't any way she would be able to leave her love tonight. A silent answer first came in response to her plan, a nod of Lexa's head. A breath left Ontari's lips, one she hadn't realised she had been holding for the whole while. A smile again found Ontari's lips as Lexa then spoke and she nodded along, growing even more hopeful as Lexa outlined a way for them to begin their escape. "That's a perfect idea." Ontari had definitely heard of the village that Lexa was talking about, although she hadn't been there and she knew Lexa wouldn't have either. The nightbloods stayed in Polis and didn't have any reason to travel outside of the city as everything they could need was inside it. This whole situation would be something completely knew but Ontari knew that she would be able to do it because she would have Lexa by her side, her Star as bright and steady as those that were in the sky every single night. When Ontari felt uncertain and worried, Lexa always seemed to hold enough confidence for the both of them.  Following Lexa's lead, Ontari also moved off the bed and stood, keeping hold of Lexa's hand as she did. "Together," Ontari repeated, almost in a cheesy way but she couldn't care. The smile on her face felt odd and she knew it was in part due to the adrenaline now running through her body. They were actually going to run away together, run away from the conclave. Ontari was sure she needed the adrenaline to keep her alert enough for them to sneak out of the tower although assuming no extra protection had been put in place, Ontari ddin't hold much doubt about them being able to get out. "Can you bring your sword?" Ontari asked, knowing that it was the favourite of Lexa's weapons and also knowing that it would be unwise of them to leave without a way for them to protect themselves. "I have knives strapped to my legs." She had made her way to Lexa's room prepared to leave. Warm clothing and weapons on hand.  Derrick || Begin escape plan! XD

[Derrick]

Lexa wouldn't have thought about running away if it hadn't been brought up. Now though, it was all she could think about, knowing the sooner they left the better it would be. They'd get a decent head start before it was realized that two natblidas were missing and with both of them at their skill level, they'd be able to stay ahead. Lexa had no doubt their survival rate would be high and if they could find the clan were there was peace, not war, they'd be able to settle down and start a new life. The idea of not having to fight was a beautiful one. Lexa wanted to see the world, not fight every day.

There was a worry that they might not find a safe place. If the peaceful clan didn't exist then their options became much more limited, their survival would become just that little bit harder. But they could go it. They had to. All she wanted was a life with her Sun, a life of happiness and joy where they could just be themselves. To be free. And this was their chance. Why not take it just because of the risks? Shouldn't they take it because of the risks? There was no backing out now and Lexa didn't want to back out. Doing so would condemn them to death and that was not something she was willing to live with. Running away had their best odds of surviving together and that was something she was going to grab with both hands.

She reached over to where her clothing was stashed and pulled several items out including outer wear for the cold nights ahead. Warm clothing on the ouside, lighter clothing on the inside. It also acted as a bit of armor though did nothing to deter her movements. Weapons on the other hand were not stored in her room. Her favorite sword was located with the other weapons which meant a little detour before they would be able to leave Polis. "It was your plan all along." Lexa smiled as she realized that this was the plan from the moment Tari had entered the room and before. "My sword is with the others." Lexa made sure she had everything else she wanted before she peered out into the hallway.

The hallway was clear, no-one was awake and with that Lexa exited the room and began to make her way towards the weapon storage. Though she knew the urgency of needing to leave as soon as possible, she still needed to be careful and make little noise as possible. Guards were still stationed in and around Polis, that much hadn't changed. She kept that in mind, watching out as she took the familair path to the weapons storage, pausing every so often when she heard a sound that didn't come from them. Highly unlikely for guards or even Titus to catch them out of bed. This wasn't like sneaking out to see the stars. Guards were stationed to keep an eye on things. Titus was busy doing his duty which meant not looking for the roaming natblidas.

Making it to the weapons storage, Lexa was able to unlock it with years of practice going in to get her weapons for training. Tucked away was her sword, her pride and joy and she reached towards it, fingers curling around the sheathe. Picking it up, she gave it a few seconds of fond expression before she slipped her arm around the strap and hoisted it on her back. Another sword caught her eye and as she stared at it, knowing she needed to go, she reached out and took that one as well, the sword going on her back like the first. Two swords were better than one and she was proficient in dual weilding. It was rare that she got to use her skill with both swords but she was thinking of the future.

Making sure she didn't leave without Ontari, Lexa made sure they were still together. "Ready to go?"

iah

[Deleted]

Ontari noticed the smile that came to Lexa's face and the words that came with it as she worked out that Ontari had been planning this, that is hadn't just been an on the spot decision. It was comforting to see and made Ontari feel even more ready for their plan to go ahead. For them to escape the looming conclave and live a long life together wherever they could find that was safe. Hopefully a peaceful clan. That was definitely their best option and if it did exist and if they could find it, the two of them would never have to worry about fighting ever again. As much as Ontari did enjoy it, it was only in the training and completing that training with others that she enjoyed. Sometimes she thought that she only enjoyed it because she had been taught to enjoy it. She wouldn't miss it at least and that was what mattered. Staying a quiet as she had been in her journey to Lexa's room, Ontari stayed near the other girl as they exited the room and made their way down to the weapons room. It was a relatively short walk between rooms but it was made longer by the completely silence they kept as they moved and the fact that they had to stop every so often, just in small pauses, whenever a noise was heard that hadn't come from themselves. Ontari's mouth was pressed together as she walked and her eyes continually swept over the hallways both in front of them and behind, watching carefully for signs of any other people around. Still, she trusted Lexa enough to know they would be able to collect her sword and make it out of the tower without being caught. The same as the night Lexa had brought Ontari out to see the stars. Once they were at the weapons room, Ontari kept watch as Lexa opened the room. She managed it a lot quicker than Ontari had expected she would. That was definitely a good thing. The shorter this detour was, the more time they would have before it was realised that they were both missing. When she glanced into the open room, seeing Lexa take her sword as well as a second, Ontari decided to quickly grab one of her own. The small blades she had strapped to her legs would be helpful, and while she was skilled enough at using them, she much preferred to use a sword. She pulled it out of the room and over her back, smiling over at Lexa now with an extra weapon on her. "Completely ready," Ontari told her, her voice low. although it become hardly a whisper on her next words. "Let's get out of here."  After Lexa had closed the door again, Ontari took her hand and let her lead the way out of the tower. Ontari wasn't one to sneak out unless it was with Lexa so she let the other girl take the best way out of the building and out into the streets of Polis. Now outside in the very faint light the stars and moon gave that night, Ontari found her heart pounding yet again in her chest. They were actually running. They headed South and as they moved through streets, stayed away from open roads where guards might catch sight of them. Weaving through market stalls like they had on that night years ago, bringing back that memory yet again. It was a memory that Ontari found came up often but the parallels that it held to the current night made it hard to not think of. "The moon is still high, we have enough time," Ontari commented, obvious relief in her voice as she glanced up at the sky. The moon had not moved much from when she had checked it in her room just before she had left it for the last time. Derrick || Let's get our lil' natblida to safety! (: