You See The Pain, I Shove It All Away

[Deleted]

The room felt like an escape. Ontari sat on the edge of the bed, her elbows rested on her knees and her face in her hands. As she sat, she told herself to breathe. The silent reminders to herself to inhale and to exhale helped her to retreat back into the calmness that she needed to keep. Inhale. Nia had a temper that could spark at the smallest of moments and being as close to the Queen as Ontari was, she was often at the end of Nia's anger. Exhale. Today a spy had been found in the palace courts, had been watching the Queen and all those around her. Nia had tortured him, had made Ontari help her and they had learnt that he had been around for weeks by that stage. A lot of Azgeda's secrets had been passed back to Trikru. Inhale. The spy had been killed at Ontari's hand, the hand that was always forced by Nia. It wasn't that Ontari wouldn't have done the same without Nia's push, though. Ontari had learnt by then that the only way to deal with problems of such was with murder. Exhale. Nia had grown angry when the spy was dead. It should have been expected from her by then, Ontari should have known and should have prepared herself. Ontari should have been up barriers to protect herself. It was too late now and all she could do was sit in her refuge and spend the small amount of time she had recovering from the affects of the Queen's anger. What else could Ontari do but that? This was her life, was her fate. Sometimes she did wonder what she had done to deserve it, to be raised by such a woman but Nia could be quick to remind her of her worth, to remind her that she would have been raised harshly any way it went. Stories were told of Polis and they were hard to escape so Nia had never hidden the fact from her. She was a nightblood, natblida, and she could become the next Heda. She would become the next Heda and she would make Azgeda great among the twelve clans.  Ontari often wondered if she even cared about the great future she was supposed to have. Often times she wondered what it might be like to grow up normal. Then, Ontari was a creature that loved violence, that loved war and that had learnt to love death also. The life of a warrior was what she was called to. Still, being a warrior wasn't all she did with her time. There was a visitor in Polis, the current Heda herself and Ontari had been personally chosen to show her around Azgeda. Why she had been chosen, Ontari had no idea. Part of her worried that she would say the wrong thing and give away the fact that she was a nightblood. She also knew that Nia knew both her strengths but also her weaknesses, the Queen didn't often make a call like this in which Ontari could so easily blow her cover. Realising that it was probably about time to go meet with the Heda, Ontari stood and took one last deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. Once she felt she was in control, she walked out of her room and began down the hall. Lexa would be waiting just outside the palace building and as much as Ontari didn't care much for this job or the person she was meeting, she still didn't want to make her wait too long. The weather was harsh that day, the winds icy and impossible to ignore when one was forced to stand out in them too long. The walking would warm them both. Ontari made her way down stairs and through the large room at the front of the building, giving small polite waves to the warriors on guard. The warriors were the closest thing she had to friends and tended to be the only people she would let her guard down near. Once outside it only took Ontari a short moment to find Lexa and she walked up to the Heda before greeting her. "Lexa," said, pausing for a moment before she spoke again. "I'm supposed to show you around." Derrick || Hope this starter is all good! I'M SO EXCITED!! (:

[Derrick]

iah
((ooc// holy crap I didn't realize the extent of how Lexa feels on Nia's cruelty, daaaaaamn))

LEXA KOM TRIKRU

Lexa had gone to Azgeda for some 'official' business though it was more to make sure Nia was not planning anything and because she visited each of the twelve clans as a sign of good faith. She wouldn't be Heda for long if she simply ignored them and she'd already visited Trikru and Floukru. Originally she was going to leave Azgeda for last mainly because it was going to be draining and it was cold; they weren't called the Ice Nation for nothing and it had nothing to do with their icy personalities. With her guards flanking either side and arriving on horseback, Lexa had been greeted as cold as the air around them. Ignoring some of the looks, Lexa had made her way into the inner portion of Azgeda, officially announced her presence and that had been that.

Not really.

Plenty of things had happened since arriving in Azgeda. Right now she waited for Ontari, the 'right hand' of Nia. She'd requested to be shown around and suggested Ontari since she knew Nia wouldn't get off her throne to show Lexa around, no matter how proud the woman was of her tribe. She'd dismissed her own guards in effort to make Ontari feel a little safer, more at ease and that was mainly done out of what she had witnessed earlier. She knew Nia was a cruel woman but snippets of the day replayed in her head and Lexa felt the anger shift beneath the calm surface. To be so powerless against such blatant cruelty - if she wanted to start a war she would have interjected. This was Azgeda lands and Lexa could not stop the Queen.

It angered her, sickened her. Lexa may have been Heda, leader of her people and commander of the twelve clans but even she never used her anger against her subjects. Not to that extent, sure she might snap and snarl and that was usually in Titus's face but otherwise, she wanted to be seen as a leader that her people could trust, not fear. Asking Ontari to show her around was in effort to get her away from Nia for a few hours and just feel freedom and safety. That alone might be cruel, to show her safety and then tear it from her when she left(because she could not take Ontari out of Azgeda) but she was hoping the few moments would be enough. Enough for what, she didn't know.

She waited just outside, the chill of the air causing goosebumps to prickle along her skin. She pulled the cloak a little tighter around her frame and closed her eyes briefly. Azgeda. She should have had Nia killed, not spared her. Those thoughts were banished the moment she heard approaching footsteps and she turned to face the girl who she was so powerless to protect. "Ontari." Lexa responded to her greeting with a slight incline of her head. "I'd appreciate that. We can begin whenever your ready." Her voice was cordial, the same tone of voice she used when talking to any member of her coalition(except Nia; with that woman there was always a bite to the edge of her voice because the woman got under her skin, leaving an itch she could not scratch and not in a good way).

- - - - -

[Deleted]

Ontari took the time that Lexa replied to examine her, to get to know the woman who was currently in the position that Ontari would eventually hold. At least know her from the visual perspective of an outsider. Lexa wasn't really what Ontari expected to see, such a small girl and such a pretty girl at that. For the person who ran Polis and commanded the twelve clans, Ontari might have expected someone larger and scarier, someone who could put fear into even the harshest warrior. Someone like Nia. Lexa wasn't like Nia at all in looks or in the way she held herself, at least not from what Ontari had seen so far. She had caught glances of the Heda earlier on but this was her first real chance to see her up close. It was almost unsettling how much she didn't look how Ontari would have expected. From what Ontari had been taught of becoming Heda, Lexa wasn't anything like the example that Nia tended to create for Ontari and at the very least, the sight of Lexa left questions in Ontari's mind. That could easily change, however, and Lexa's behaviour could drastically change throughout her visit. At least, Ontari assumed it could. She wouldn't be just polite the whole time, a Heda could not only be such a thing. Polite was really the only word her brain could come up with so far to describe Lexa. Her tone of voice, the slight incline of her head, both things that were way too polite for Ontari to ever want to bother with. She did, of course, because she had no choice but to give an air that was polite, especially being someone who was in the public. It did not mean that Ontari ever enjoyed such things. "We should start walking now before your fingers start turning blue," Ontari said, a complete lack of humor to her voice. That wasn't something people joked about in Azgeda, not when it was always such a possibility. Although that may have just been that Ontari had never been around the type of people to joke. In the least, the weather didn't warm for anyone, not even the Heda. If they began to walk then they would at least work towards staying warm. They would also work towards this being over then Ontari would be able to find somewhere secluded to train on her own and let out her feelings from earlier that day. As Ontari started to walk away from the palace building, she kept her gaze to the side to make sure that Lexa was following her and to adjust her pace if she needed to. Ontari liked to walk fast, to move quickly from place to place without paying much attention to what might be in between. For all she knew, Lexa would want to stop and smell every rose and being in the position that Ontari was in, she would have no choice but to stop with the Heda and let her do so. Ontari knew well that Lexa was the one in power, the higher up like Nia also was and that she had no choice but to follow whatever she was told to do. That was how it worked. "Is there any place in particular that you want to see?" Ontari asked, generally just walking towards the centre of the town. The plan was to circle the town, to point out anything that might be interesting and to end inside the palace again. Ontari held no interest in being an amazing tour guide, nor did she hold much interest in making small talk. She could only hope that Lexa felt similar when it came to conversation. Derrick || Tari is such a grumpy guts sometimes.

[Derrick]

iah
((ooc// welp, this post really amused me mainly because out of everywhere she could have asked to see, she asked about stables xDD))

LEXA KOM TRIKRU

Though Lexa didn't have all the power in and over Azgeda, she still had some power that put her above the rest of the Ice tribe. For starters, Ontari had to do as she was asked of and had to accompany her. She had doubts that Ontari even wanted to be given this job of showing the Heda around, none of the Ice Nation would. Refusal was not an option, having some else accompany her was also not an option. Lexa had made her mind up on who was taking her and that was final. Even Nia couldn't argue although she half suspected that the Queen had her own agenda for agreeing. She wouldn't do something unless she got something good out of it. For now it would be worth it; the Heda wasn't going to give out any secrets.

This was a close as she'd been to Ontari for the most part they'd seen each other from a comfortable distance. Up closer she could see her facial markings more clearly, like all of Azgeda Ontari wore scars as part of their identity, much like Heda's with their tattoos. Both permanent fixtures, both full of pain. For Lexa, it seemed to glow with inner strength, matching what she thought of Ontari. That inner strength to survive against all odds, the inner strength to survive Nia. But her gaze did not linger on the scars, in fact they were in her peripherals as she was looking directly into her eyes. With what Ontari was saying about blue fingers, Lexa took her seriously rather than think she was making some sort of joke. It was cold here, much more different than the warm forests she was used to back in Trikru.

"Lead the way." Lexa motioned with her hand so they could get moving, adjusting her pace to keep up with the much faster footed girl. Pace was no matter for the Heda who could walk fast or slow depending on the circumstances and what she was needing to do at the time. She was thinking about what Ontari said and now Lexa needed to figure out how to draw this out for as long as possible. She thought about it, noting that some of Azgeda were on horses which meant they must have stables. Usually stables were situated close enough for the animals to be grabbed at a moments notice but far away enough that the crowds and noises of the main buildings didn't freak them out or get in the way.

It might come across as the enemy wanting information about the weaknesses of the enemy mount but this had nothing to do with battles or war. And if asked why she would simply say she wanted to check on her faithful steed to make sure he was being well cared for. Let them think she was distrustful rather than allow her real feelings on the subject be exposed because that didn't just put Lexa in danger. It put Ontari in danger as well. "The stables. We don't have to go now. On the way." Frankly it didn't bother her when it happened, just that it would.

- - - - -

[Deleted]

It was at least good that Lexa kept up with Ontari's quick pace, a small thing that would lead to this whole situation quickly ending. That was all Ontari could wish for. As she walked, she tried to push back the image of Lexa's eyes from her head. When they had been standing, when Ontari had been studying Lexa it had been quite obvious that Lexa had been doing the same to her. Their eyes had met a couple even while Ontari had tried to her to avoid such a thing happening. It was Lexa in particular that she wanted to avoid making eye contact with, it was just that she often avoiding too much eye contact in general. She had once heard the old saying that the eyes were the window into the soul and Ontari would be lying if she said she didn't fear someone seeing into her own soul. If people knew of the fear she held, the mask she put on, Ontari worried that she would never really be able to become Heda and that even if she did that she would never really be taken seriously. It was better if people viewed her how she wanted them to view her. Then what she had seen in Lexa's eyes, strength, curiosity and something that she might have thought was compassion. That was, if it weren't Heda's eyes and if it weren't Ontari that she was looking at. Ontari didn't want to particularly dwell on what she had thought she had seen in Lexa's eye and she also didn't care enough to even think of asking her about it. What mattered was that Lexa wanted to see the stables. It at least gave Ontari a goal in where to go, where she might put the most detail or care into showing Lexa. In her head Ontari planned the route that they would take through town, the things she would point out and the stables at the edge of town that she would make sure they visited. Ontari also made a point of picking the shortest route that she could as she still wanted nothing more than for this to end. "I'll make sure we stop there," Ontari confirmed, giving Lexa a polite nod before having them turn a corner onto another road. The noises of the town became much louder as they walked down this road. People were shouted, children running and the markets alive with everyday life. These markets, situated so near to the palace, were the largest in the lands of Azgeda and were something that Ontari knew was safe to show Lexa. "Markets," Ontari pointed out as they passed the first of the stalls. The reaction of the people was quite obvious as they passed by, conversations died down as they were seen and the general air seemed to go down. While they didn't silence everything, the change was still obvious to Ontari and she sent a glare to some of the people who had gone silent. This was not what she wanted to have to deal with, whatever words Lexa might give her about what was happening. "You can find some of the best furs here," Ontari commented as she gave looks to a few more people. There were definitely people there that would know her and who she was, a warrior under Nia, and she hoped it would be enough to get them to go back to what they had been doing before. Derrick || Ontari's just like "idiots"

[Derrick]

iah

LEXA KOM TRIKRU

It was ironic in the way that Lexa held such distrust towards Azgeda and yet Ontari seemed to spark a different sort of emotion from her. There had been compassion in those eyes when she looked at Ontari, she felt no suspicion or fear. Such a strange concept when it came to Azgeda and for a moment Lexa wondered why. No answer came to her immediately, it wasn't something that she just knew. It was frustrating to feel because not knowing was the bane of her existence. Knowing would help her deal with this and the whole situation better and easier. Right now life seemed to want to be as complicated as it could be and Lexa was glad that they were walking along so she had something else to do other than dwell on her thoughts with questions that had no answers.

Walking alongside Ontari allowed her to look at everything that she was being shown without being left behind. When they rounded a corner and got near the markets they were pointed out to Lexa who nodded. Ontari seemed to not be much of a talker which was fine with Lexa because small talk was often very awkward for her; she was better getting to the point than making meaningless chatter but she wanted to show that she was paying attention. Every stall was committed to memory, every path and corner, every face that came close to her. Well aware of being in enemy territory, her only saving grace was one simple fact. If they attacked or killed Lexa then there would be retaliation. On the flip side it was the same for Azgeda. They could not harm or kill any of the Ice Nation either.

As they approached Lexa noticed the general chatter slowly die down and the air seemed to become so thick that one could cut it with a sword. This was nothing like Polis where she could go into the streets and not even hear herself think. Even the general attitude changed, becoming colder like the slight winds in the air. For a moment she wondered if it was her presence that was the cause yet one child was staring, not at her but Ontari. Maybe a mix of both? Lexa looked around, noticing the glare Ontari gave and remained silent as to what she had seen. No need to ask her directly about it in front of the people. She'd maybe talk about it when they were out of earshot because pulling her up on it now could very well cause Ontari to barricade herself.

She turned to the fur trader and after a few deliberations an exchange took place. 'New' furs would be delivered to them before the day was over. Though they had furs and other warm clothing since they knew they were coming to the cold, Lexa also knew that some of it needed replacing. One of her guards had felt a little more frozen than usual though he had been utterly silent on his sufferings. Once that was done with, Lexa turned to face Ontari, ignoring the others who seemed content to ignore her(or stare at her with closed mouths and wariness in their eyes).

"Is there anywhere a little quieter?" Lexa asked, and though the area was plenty quiet she wasn't meaning chatter. She was talking about the people as her words really meant is there anywhere without so many people?

- - - - -

[Deleted]

The glares and looks that Ontari gave the crowds didn't seem to do much in improving the situation happening. It was quite obvious that no one was particularly happy about either Ontari or Lexa being in the markets. Ontari was used to having this happen to some degree when she was alone, people worried that their conversations might get repeated to Nia but that happened with other warriors as well and it was never as bad as it was now. Ontari knew that most of the reason for the silence happened to be the added presence of Lexa and that was why she was giving out the glares, not wanting to get in trouble by the Heda for the actions of others. Although, if Lexa had any sort of a brain she would likely know that no one in Azgeda particularly liked her and that she would get reaction such as this. Maybe Ontari shouldn't have been worrying so much. At the very least Lexa seemed to take well to her comment about the furs, turning to the dealer to order some. Ontari guess that was a good thing, that the Heda was at least taking advantage of the markets, giving something back to Azgeda through some money but Ontari didn't particularly care. She mostly wanted to get out of the markets and move alone on their tour. If Lexa wanted to stop somewhere else for a longer period of time Ontari would deal with that but the general feeling of the markets was so tense that it was the last place Ontari wanted to stay. When things were tense she felt like someone was about to attack her and while she knew that wouldn't happen, it still had her feeling off and quite honestly a bit scared. Not that she would ever admit to being scared. Fear was something that she had been taught to avoid and to hide. If she could kill someone, why did she need to fear? That was the logic she had gained from Nia at least. While she didn't let it show on her face, being sure to keep her mask up as best as she could, Ontari did feel relieved at Lexa's question and nodded quickly in reply. The assumption that Ontari made was that Lexa didn't particularly like the way people were silent and staring either. "Yes, there is," Ontari told her, starting off towards the other end of the markets. As she walked, she stayed silent and watched out for any sign of people who might cause them trouble. While Ontari knew full well that they couldn't hurt Lexa, she didn't completely trust others. The last thing Nia would want was a full-blown war with Polis and with the other clans. Ontari had to be sure that no one tried anything stupid, especially with the way everyone was reacting to the sight of Lexa. Once they had cleared the markets, Ontari turned onto a smaller street, a detour in her original plans and glanced towards Lexa. "Shouldn't you have guards with you?" she asked, suddenly aware of that fact. If something had happened, shouldn't Lexa have been protected completely? Ontari would have thought that the Heda was important enough to have guards with her, like Nia always did. Ontari didn't particularly feel confident about being the sole guard to Lexa while they were out in Azgeda. Derrick || Ontari muse can be darn stubborn sometimes.

[Derrick]

iah

LEXA KOM TRIKRU

Tension was becoming thicker, more apt to choke the very air from her lungs. In all their eyes was wariness, distrust and Lexa didn't want to stay for any longer than she had to. There was no need to remain and antagonize the people further when she had the power to leave. It wasn't conceding weakness or fear, it was for the safety of the people. She'd spent enough time that was considered appropriate and so they could leave now without any insult on timing. Just one other thing before she left and that was new gloves to put on her hands and stop the chill from ebbing into her fingers. She thanked the man before turning and following Ontari's lead as she was taken out of the packed markets to somewhere more quieter and less full of suspicious Azgeda.

Ontari's question made her arch an eye ever so slightly while amusement prickled its way through her system though it made no move to cross her features with that emotion. "What makes you think I don't?" Lexa asked, not even pausing in stride to glance over her shoulder. They were behind several paces as per her orders. Guards surrounding her would have increased tension even further even if it would have helped quell some of the urges to attack if they saw that the Heda was more protected than what she was. "Even without guards I'm not exactly helpless." Lexa was born to be a warrior, trained in the arts and killed to be at the top. Of course if too many decided they wanted her dead, she wouldn't be able to fight them all; she may be talented but she was still human and she still could be killed.

The illusion of being alone didn't mean she was. "They follow at a distance. But do not mistake it. Should anyone attack they will strike as fast as a snake." That was, after all, the reasons why they were chosen to guard her this day. If something happened she could only trust Trikru to back her, not Azgeda, despite the repercussions of anyone attacking her. She doubted it was because Ontari was going to attack her and if she did, well Lexa would just have to fight back. She couldn't think of any other negative reason for the question, it was valid after all. "Having more Trikru in Azgeda's face would only have served to cause more unrest. I was not willing to have that. My safety is important yes, but so is yours."

Lexa was about to be blunt, and while she didn't want to be, because she wasn't about to let it be known that the reason for this was to protect Ontari for a little bit, she still needed to know. Not to protect herself but to protect Ontari. "Tell me. If I was to be injured by Azgeda, would your queen be happy? Or would she be angry enough to blame you?"

Why did she even care for her? She was Azgeda, the enemy! And yet, the idea of her being hurt was sickening to her. She looked away to stare at one of the buildings as if admiring its design. This would have been easier if she didn't have dealings here in Azgeda.

- - - - -

[Deleted]

Ontari's gaze followed Lexa's as she looked over her shoulder, now seeing the guards that she had not noticed before. It was a relief to see them, knowing that she herself wouldn't be enough to protect Lexa if enough people were going to attack. She had seen a lot of people in the markets that looked like warriors and she knew that Azgeda and Queen Nia had many warriors. She was one of the best, at least Nia had her believe she was, but Ontari also knew thehatred that a lot of people held towards the Heda, just proven by the experience in the markets. At least when Ontari became Heda she would not gain the same hatred, the people would be relieved to see one of their own on the throne - even if they all didn't quite agree with Nia's ways. "I know you aren't," Ontari automatically snapped back. Of course Lexa wouldn't be helpful, she was Heda and being a warrior was part of it. Ontari wasn't naive and she wasn't blind to how things worked, Lexa would have battled and killed to gain the position she held. Still, she needed guards. When one person attacked, many could follow suit and that was the type of thing that would happen in such a public place like the markets. Thankfully everyone had been on their best behaviour and now that they were out of the markets, Ontari held no reason to worry. On her watch, Lexa would stay safe. Not for Lexa's sake though but for the fact that Nia had allowed Ontari to be the one to show her around. Ontari didn't know why exactly she had allowed such a thing to happen, Ontari often couldn't work out the logic behind much that Nia did, but she did know that it would be in her best interests to bring back the Heda alive and well. Lexa's words all made sense. That the guards would still be able to protect her even when staying at a distance and that having them there would avoid any more unrest than necessary. Ontari agreed and was thankful for that, although she would never admit such a thing to Lexa. She was trying, in her best, to appear strong and to hide any real emotion from the Heda. Just as she did around everyone else. But then, Lexa said something that was unexpected enough that Ontari's confusion showed plainly on her face for a moment before she pulled her emotional mask back up again. Just the simple part of adding that Ontari's safety was important, just as Lexa's was. It was completely unexpected, knowing who Ontari was and what little importance she really held. She held more importance than Lexa knew, really, which made the comment even more confusing. The more she read into it, the less it made sense and Ontari decided to let it go. It seemed there was more to it than just a simple fly away comment, however, as Lexa spoke again. "Why does it matter?" Ontari asked, being careful to keep her voice level and to avoid letting any emotion into her voice. She was partly suspicious of the question, wondering if Lexa was trying to find some reason to go against Nia, or trying to get inside intelligence about how the Queen was and how she treated the people who worked for her. Another part of her couldn't help but wonder if Lexa did care for some reason and she tried to find some sort of logic that might explain why she would care for someone like Ontari. Like how she wondered why she had been chosen to show the Heda around Azgeda. "Why would you even say that the Queen could get angry as such?" Derrick

[Derrick]

Lexa had no idea just how close to home her comment was. For her, Lexa had only said the importance because if something happened to either one it wasn't going to bode well. The consequences of Lexa getting injured would be retaliation. The consequences of Ontari getting injured, though she wasn't Heda or even a leader could cause retaliation. Not that it would but it might. Ontari was technically Nia's second and that was important enough in Lexa's eyes. If her second got injured or killed while showing a guest around she'd be pretty pissed. The Queen herself didn't enjoy her pets being hurt unless she was the one doing the hurting. Lexa had learned that first hand.

Those that knew her knew that she thought several steps ahead most of the time. She had to, though even she couldn't see all the potential outcomes. Lexa getting injured would mean retaliation. Ontari getting blamed for something that wasn't even her fault was even worse. While they'd gotten away from most of those in the marketplace, it didn't mean they were still safe. Someone could easily come by and launch an attack and it was those she was more wary of rather than those in the marketplace. "I want to avoid anything that will get us both harmed." Lexa responded flatly. She wasn't going to give her true answer in this case and it certainly wasn't to get information about Nia.

"We both know how angry she can get." Lexa spoke calmly as if they were merely talking about something like the weather and not the leader of Azgeda. "Though I've never had that anger turned on me quite like you have, I've still experienced it." Nia had not been able to unleash her fury when Lexa demanded she banish her only son. It wasn't something she wanted to do but needed to in order to reign in the Queen who thought she was all powerful. Aside from the mountain, Azgeda was the biggest threat to herself and the coalition so the less power they had the better it was for the rest of them. "You don't, of course, have to say anything." She didn't need Ontari to confirm or try to deny such a thing especially when she figured Ontari might think this was a trap.

They were on opposing sides, Lexa from Trikru, Ontari from Azgeda. "I'm not going to do anything that would endanger you." Why was she still talking?

iah

[Deleted]

Lexa's answer did nothing but continue to use the we, the mentioning that she wasn't just worried about her own safety but of Ontari's as well. It was only becoming more and more confusing to Ontari, not able to find a logical reason behind the comments apart from something that was of bad intention, something that Ontari needed to be wary of. She didn't want to be wary of, though. Some part of her wanted to find logic that would give her reason to believe that maybe Lexa would care enough. Why? How knew. Ontari was stronger than this. She had been raised to not need care, to not need anything of the like. That shouldn't change because Heda had made a comment or two. "Look, you won't get injured. You have your guards," Ontari responded, her own voice as flat as Lexa's had been. "If I get injured, Queen Nia will not put any blame on you," she added, just in case that was actually what Lexa was worried about. It could have been, her own safety and relations with Azgeda would be her biggest things to think of. While Nia wouldn't be happy if Ontari got injured, that anger would be aimed at her not Lexa. Not that she was going to say that part to Lexa. She had already made comments about Nia's anger, about it being aimed at Ontari. It made Ontari entirely suspicious. And she was just going to continue on that topic, apparently. Listening to Lexa speak, Ontari managed to keep herself from shouting at the Heda long enough for her to say that Ontari didn't need to say anything. Like hell she didn't need to say anything, like Lexa was going to get away with saying something like that. It didn't matter if she was the Heda. One day Lexa would be Heda and she wasn't scared of the woman with her. "You know nothing about what happens between the Queen and myself," she began, emotion beginning to slip into her voice, particularly anger. When Ontari was angry, she went straight to the one coping method she had and that was violence. She wasn't yet angry enough to try and physically hurt Lexa and she knew she couldn't get to that point, especially with the knowledge that guards were close by who would probably hold no problems with killing her. It wouldn't surprise Ontari if any attempt at harming the Heda got you the sentence of death. It would make sense, it would be how Ontari would run things as a way to protect herself from assassination attempts. "You can't just go around saying things like that," she said, barely keeping her voice below a shout. "Being Heda doesn't give you the right to accuse Queens of mistreatment, to try and manipulate information out of people close to her!" As she shouted, she barely heard the last words that came from Ontari's mouth. Saying that she wasn't going to do anything that would endanger her. Why would she even say such a thing? It just sounded like more of a trick to Ontari. Trying to get Ontari to spill information on the Queen, maybe offering protection for that information. While Ontari let that thought sit in her mind for a moment, considering it for the smallest of seconds, she quickly shock her head, physically ridding the thought. "Queen Nia is my queen," she simply said to finish, her anger simmered down enough to move back to a normal volume with the words. Derrick || <3