Happ-Bean-ness: Happiness, Bean Style

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

There was no pain. Nothing. Even with his leg, he had felt nothing. But Bellamy didn't often struggle in coping with physical pain. It had always been the emotional pain. And he wasn't in any. At all. It was wonderful. The City of Light was everything it promised to be. There was no hurt, no pain. And for once in Bellamy's entire life, he lived without fear. It was so damn glorious. He hoped he could convince others to join, and he had every intention to try. Right now, Bellamy was currently in his quarters, having returned from work . . . though he had gone right after medical and he was immediately dismissed, told to go home and rest. Which he was doing. He was a little bored but didn't have any complaints.

A knock on the door was most welcome, and he moved toward it. Apparently, his wound though not hurting, had looked like it should have. He had been training someone in the guard and they misfired, hitting his leg. But it wasn't serious. It had been well tended to. It left Bellamy with looser pants on, rolled up just below his knee as the bandage was wrapped around the exposed part from his calf right below where his pant was rolled up to.

Maybe he could guilt trip the guard in training to take the chip as compensation. When Bellamy opened the door, a smile immediately formed on his lips. "Jackson," he greeted brightly. "Come on in," he said stepping aside so that the good doctor could enter. He and Jackson had a history that went back to the Ark. And Bellamy had always been fond of him. The idea of getting him into the City of Light had of course entered his mind when he was getting checked out. And now, he may be able to have that chance. "What brings you here?" He asked curiously, the smile remaining in place.

[Deleted]

Jackson knew Bellamy Blake could handle pain. He'd been through so much of it and barely flinched. It wasn't the fact that Bellamy didn't seem to show any signs of pain that worried Jackson when treating Bellamy in medical. It was that the last time Jackson had tried to treat Bellamy, Bellamy fought him to get back to work. Bellamy hadn't wanted to be treated. This time, however, Bellamy was calm. Too calm. In fact, he'd been almost smiling as Jackson removed the bullet and got him stitched up. He'd discharged Bellamy hours ago, but he couldn't get Bellamy off his mind. The Bellamy he'd treated earlier in the day didn't seem like Bellamy at all.

He decided to go check on the other man at the end of the day, and Bellamy answered the door when Jackson knocked. He smiled, his tone bright. It was almost eerie. Bellamy never smiled like that. "I thought I'd check on your leg," Jackson responded, stepping into Bellamy's room. He didn't want to immediately start asking questions, but he would have too soon enough. "How's it feeling?"

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He had come to check on him. How thoughtful. Bellamy's unwavering smile touched his eyes, a glossed over serenity in them as he closed the door once Jackson was inside. "It feels pretty good," he replied with the utmost sincerity as he glanced down at it before looking back at Jackson. The doctor was a far more pleasurable view than his bandaged leg. "You did a great job. I appreciate it." His gratitude was genuine. Despite the lack of pain and fear in the wound . . . he could be honest in appreciation for the man's efforts. "I didn't really thank you properly, did I?" He asked him teasingly, no longer wanting the source of conversation to be on his leg.

Perhaps there was a slight flirtation in the underlying tone of his words too . . . but Bellamy was going to build up to that more. His memories were a bit hazy when it came to their encounters on their Ark. Especially the first one . . . though he recalled enough to know that it had been good. Every time they had been together had been more than good. It had been amazing. Maybe that was the chip influencing his brain, as his recollections were still fuzzy. "Did you come all the way here to ask that, or can you stay for a bit?" He asked, a calm hopefulness in his voice that he would stay. And if he didn't want to, well . . . Bellamy would just have to find a way to convince him.

[Deleted]

Jackson was surprised by Bellamy's gratitude. Not that Bellamy had ever been ungrateful before, but this picture of positivity from Bellamy was jarring. And then Bellamy was flirting with him. Jackson thought he was, anyway, and he was pretty sure that had never happened either. "I don't have any plans," he answered when Bellamy asked if he could stay, studying Bellamy. He knew his gaze was appraising, maybe even analytical as he looked over Bellamy. He didn't care. Something was off, and Jackson wanted to know what that was.

"How's work been treating you?" Jackson asked, then gestured at Bellamy's leg. "Other than the obvious." This was something else they never did. Small talk. He wondered if this version of Bellamy would want that.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy's smile grew when Jackson confirmed that he didn't have any plans. Perfect. He could keep him here tonight, with him. It was all for the greater good; for the City of Light. And would only add to this state of happiness that Bellamy was already consumed with. He then asked how work had been, apart from his impairment. "It didn't work me too hard today," he said, another underlying flirtatious tone as he started to near Jackson until he was standing in front of him.

Bellamy looked at him, his eyes no longer holding the pain and torment of his past. No hesitation. No reluctance. "How has work been treating you?" He inquired, returning the question as his hand moved to Jackson's upper arm, slowly trailing up to his shoulder, feeling what he could of his muscles under his shirt. "You look like you could use a break. Some time to relax. A night to just enjoy yourself."Tonight. With him.

[Deleted]

Jackson just stared at Bellamy, disbelieving as the flirtatiousness of his tone didn't disappear. He was tempted to step back from Bellamy as he approached, but he stood there as Bellamy returned the question about work--small talk--and then started to run his fingers up Jackson's arm, making a more bellatantly suggestive statement. This was not Bellamy.

Jackson reached his hand up to cover Bellamy's with his own. He didn't push Bellamy away, but he just curled his fingers around Bellamy's preventing his hand from moving further up Jackson's arm. He frowned at Bellamy, confusion in his expression. "What the hell is going on, Bellamy?" he finally asked, unable to let this keep going. He struggled to think of a medical reason that would make Bellamy's personality change so much overnight, with Bellamy's age and general health, he couldn't think of one. Unless Bell just... snapped. Then again, this looked nothing like PTSD. "You don't seem like yourself."

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy's hand was stopped by Jackson's, but he was hardly discouraged from it. He wasn't going to give up that easily. But he could see the confusion; hear it in his voice and the context of his questions revealed it. He was questioning what was going on, and didn't think he was acting like himself. "Actually, for the first time, I am myself. Truly, myself." He felt happy. Free of all the burdens that had always weighted him down, like an anchor. But no more. It was all gone. He was uplifted, liberated. And he wanted to enjoy this new found freedom and bliss. "You know, I've thought about you," he began to say, moving his hand that had not been halted by Jackson, running his finger over Jackson's chest.

"About us." Because they had gotten together in the past. They had something. Even Bellamy knew that despite his foggy memories of most things before arriving on the ground. Bellamy leaned forward, kissing the corner of Jackson's lips, a familiarity of it to when they first hooked up. His lips moved across his cheek, along his jaw line in soft kisses. Bellamy's hand moved from his chest, trailing up the side of his neck on the opposite side that his lips were working above. "About how good it was," he added on, his lips now against Jackson's ear, speaking directly in it. "Have you ever thought about me?" He asked, wanting to plant the memory in his mind to further build the current physical intimacy that he was leading towards.

[Deleted]

Jackson probably should have pulled away when Bellamy started to run his hand over his chest, but hearing Bellamy say he thought about him... about them... had Jackson glued to the spot. And when Bellamy kissed the corner of his mouth, he let out a shaky breath. Whatever had happened to Bellamy, he still remembered that. Every time they'd been together, Jackson thought, that was how things had started. He wanted to give in, as Bellamy kissed across his cheek toward his ear. He was exhausted, and a little pleasure would be so welcome. When Bellamy asked his question, the feel of Bellamy's breath in his ear caused Jackson to shiver. "More than I should have," he admitted, then told himself he needed to stop this.

He slipped away from Bellamy's hands and mouth, stepping back out of reach. He felt flushed. His body definitely wanted Bellamy, but his brain said this wasn't right. Bellamy might not even know what he was doing. "How can you just feel more like yourself than ever before? What's changed?" he asked, trying to sound as stern as he possibly could with a semi in his pants.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

More than he should have. Now that sounded promising. It meant that he wasnt rejecting of this. Not entirely anyway. Despite his actions of stepping back. Bellamy could see that conflict. He only needed to cause Jackson to lower his guard. Crumble that restraint he had. And then . . . he could convince him. Something was hurting them; something was hurting all of them. Bellamy wanted Jackson to feel as good as he did; void of pain and suffering. He asked him what had changed and Bellamy knew that Jackson wasnt ready to know he had taken the chip. It was too early to tell him right now. Too soon. "Getting shot, changed my perspective." It wasnt a total lie. But still not completely true.

"That bullet could have hit me anywhere. And it made me realize . . . life is short." He was starting to move back to Jackson, walkong toward him. "And that I shouldnt keep denying myself what I want." Everything in his tone, expression and demeanour indicated that what he wanted, was Jackson. But just in case that wasnt clear. . . "I want you, Jackson," he stated, a soft smile on his lips as his hand returned to him starting on his waist and his hand slowly glided to thr front of his pants where he felt a small bulge. He leaned toward Jackson, tilting his head to the side as if to kiss him but stopped when their lips were hardly an inch apart, his hand still on him. "Dont you want me too?" He questioned, only somewhat rhetorical.

[Deleted]

"You've been through worse than a bullet to the leg and not changed your perspective," Jackson pointed out, telling himself he ought to be backing away from Bellamy as he came closer again. But there was part of him that was so tired, and craved so much to feel something good in this world full of burden that he couldn't make himself.

He sucked in a breath when Bellamy's hand slid down the front of his pants, his body automatically responding, his cock filling more, and then Bellamy was so close, close enough to kiss him. He should brush Bellamy's hand off him. Instead, he wanted to close his eyes and kiss Bellamy. "Bellamy, you're acting so... different. How can I know you know what you're doing? That you won't regret this later or resent me?" That I'm not taking advantage of you?

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

He had been through worse, but Bellamy couldn't remember a whole lot of it. Pain was a thing of the past. And thanks to ALIE and the City Of Light, he never had to feel pain again. "This time, this instance, it did," he answered simply, a calmness in his voice. A serenity; a peace that he had never had before. Thus, never expressed to Jackson before. He could feel his body responding to his touch, as his hand gave a slight squeeze to his further hardening cock, still not closing the distance between them. But he did smile. A soft smile but a genuine one. Or however genuine the expression could be while chipped. "I could never resent you," he told him cooly, heartfelt emotion in his voice.

"And I know exactly what I'm doing. And what I want." Though Jackson hadn't answered his previous question of whether he wanted him, his body seemed to give the answer for him. "I always felt that there was something between us," Bellamy began to say, his free hand moving up the back of Jackson's head as his fingers intertwined with the short locks of his hair. "A connection." One that had apparently kept Bellamy away from him but he found no reason to maintain that distance anymore.

He leaned forward, kissing Jackson's chin for a moment before returning to hovering over his lips. "Didn't you feel it too?" Somewhat rhetorical, however still an inquiry that could do well with an answer to acknowledge it. "We don't have to fight it anymore," he added in a deep, whispered voice, his lips just barley touching Jackson's. "Aren't you tired of fight it, when you know it can feel so good?" More a question than a statement.

[Deleted]

God, this was still very weird, but Bellamy was squeezing his cock gently now, his fingers in Jackson's hair. Jackson closed his eyes, letting himself enjoy the touch, even if it didn't feel quite right to let Bellamy do this right now. But Bellamy was talking, saying things he never thought he'd hear Bellamy say about them. About their history, their connection. And Jackson's chest ached, because it felt good to hear those things. He'd felt them. Deep down he knew he always wanted to hear Bellamy acknowledge it, so he knew he wasn't alone.

"I felt it," he whispered. "Always felt it, from the moment I met you," he added. This didn't feel right, but it felt good. And Bellamy said he knew what he was doing. And he was tired of fighting. Jackson's body was starting to overrule his mind. He closed the distance between them, kissing Bellamy hungrily as his hands went into Bellamy's hair. "Maybe from the first moment I saw you," he added, between heated kisses.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy's smile grew upon hearing Jackson's admittance of having felt it. How he had always felt it since they met. That was something certainly mutually shared. As far as Bellamy remembered. All this surely had to be coming from somewhere. Perhaps the lacking memories was where there was pain in their inability to actually be together. Because he couldn't think of a reason why they shouldn't be right now. Together. In every sense of the word. He didn't need to say anything else for Jackson closed the distance between them in a passionate kiss. Bellamy immediately responded, parting his lips, slipping his own tongue between Jackson's to drink in his taste. It felt amazing.

He didn't have any concerns, worries, or fears right now; he could just be with Jackson. Void of the more hindering emotions. Embracing Jackson fully. Bellamy moaned through the kiss, a clear sign of his utmost enjoyment as his hand on his cock slipped away, his grip in his hair still there, running over the back of his head, through his short, but soft hair. He added on that it was from the moment he first saw him which seemed to keep a permanent smile on his face. "Me too," he agreed, getting out the words in between each kiss for he didn't want to keep his lips from his skin for long.

"I thought about you so much." He started to move them, walking forward and gently urging Jackson back toward the bed. "And wanted you so much," he reiterated, though phrasing it different. He stopped moving when the back of Jackson's legs touched the bed, and after one, deep, fervent kiss, Bellamy pushed him back on the bed, not overly hard but enough so that his upper body fell onto it and his legs hanging off of it. He smiled, looking down at the beautiful man. "We don't have to fight it anymore," he said, this time no longer a question, but a statement. Bellamy then positioned himself onto his knees, his hands going to Jackson's pants to unfasten them.

[Deleted]

It felt amazing to be kissing Bellamy again. It had been so long, months probably, since he felt Bellamy against him like this. The sound of Bellamy's moaning only intensified Jackson's desire, in spite of knowing it usually took more to get Bellamy to moan like that. When they reached the bed, Bellamy pushed Jackson back. It wasn't rough, but it was hard enough to make Jackson gasp and wind up sprawled back on his back.

Jackson stared up at Bellamy as he told him they didn't have to fight it anymore, and Jackson's impulse was to ask again why? What had changed? But then Bellamy was getting to his knees and pulling his pants open. Jackson couldn't deny the thrill of knowing Bellamy's mouth was about to be around him, but again, this was different from any other time they'd been together. Neither of them were even the least bit undressed. "Skipping foreplay?" he asked, propping himself up on one elbow to look at Bellamy, his other hand reaching for him, sliding into Bellamy's hair. "Want to feel you?" he panted.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy chuckled when Jackson teased him about foreplay. "Maybe not," he teased. "Maybe this is part of it." Once Jackson's pants were open, Bellamy pulled them down and off of him -- quickly removing his shoes first so that he could swiftly take off the pants, setting them to the side. His hands went to Jackson's knees, parting them as he kept his underwear on, leaning forward to kiss along his inner thigh, over the areas of exposed skin. One hand grazed up his leg, gliding over it in an up and down motion, feeling the warmth of his skin.

Everything felt wonderful, thanks to not having any emotional baggage this time. Nor fearing what the aftermath would be where they had to part ways. There was no need to concern themselves with that anymore. Bellamy's hands went to the rim of Jackson's underwear, hooking a finger inside of it as if to tease him. "Tell me, how do you feel right now?" Bellamy asked, his voice holding a rare seductive tone, one that he seldom used . . . if ever.

But his emotions were so uplifted that he could easily engage in such flirtation and further seducing of the beautiful man he lowered in front of. "Describe it to me. Your emotions. What you're feeling right now, in this moment." His finger unhooked itself as he moved his head in its place, latching onto the rim of his under layer before snaking his tongue underneath it to further tease him with what was yet to come. But they didn't need to rush. They could take their time. And that was exactly what Bellamy was doing to further build it up. To use the time to in working to convince Jackson to take the chip.