|
Arker
"We save those who
we can save today."
Personal Text
Single
Relationship Status
Rebel Leader | Dark Knight
Lethal Weapon
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
AST
Tag me @bellamy
|
|
Post by Bellamy Blake on Jul 26, 2016 20:38:14 GMT
 Tag: @severitysoftly whatever THE HELL WE WANT Bellamy didn't know what his position was. He was still being tasked with things that a Guardsman would, tasks that he was accepting without hesitation. But . . . he and Kane still had not had a formal conversation. He supposed it suited him just fine. Until Marcus was a bit more settled anyway, though Bellamy wasn't even certain he would have much to say to him. The younger male wasn't expecting him to recant his statement, or see him differently.
So all Bellamy could do was work on moving forward. On completing each task to the best of his abilities, which included the current one. Nyko had sought out their help, and either Jackson or Abby would be the one responding to it. They didn't need to risk both doctors going out there, only one. And Kane had given Bellamy the duty of going with whichever doctor to keep them protected. More people joining them would just cause unecessary tension.
It wasn't too far but far enough that they would each need a pack and a few supplies -- in addition to whatever the doctor was bringing. Bellamy had already loaded up the rover with what he could, waiting in the garage by it for the person to join them. He was given a weapon -- of course -- and carried a smaller gun as well just in case. Soon enough, Jackson walked in, revealing which doctor was going to be the one answering the call.
Bellamy hadn't really spoken to him much since their night together. He supposed once again, there was some avoidance of each other for . . . well, reasons that they didn't need to get into now. They were going to be in each other's company for the next little while, and it sure as hell wasn't going to help if Bellamy made it awkward. "Hey," he greeted, adjusting the strap to his weapon while looking at Jackson. "You wanna drive?" He offered, standing at the front of the Rover, able to move to either the driver's seat or passanger's side with ease.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2016 20:58:39 GMT
Jackson held a sigh as he approached the rover and saw Bellamy. He hadn't been avoiding the other man, necessarily, but there had been several times Jackson wanted to find Bellamy, hoping to enjoy another night of sound sleep with him, and had avoided doing so. Even if Bellamy had offered 'anytime'. He wasn't sure what their relationship was, and that wasn't anything new. The difference now was that for the first time, Jackson wanted more than he'd dared to let himself have in the past, and he didn't know what Bellamy wanted. Or if it was fair to ask for more when Bellamy might still be grieving Gena. "It's probably safer if your hands are free," he said, gesturing at the weapon slung over Bellamy's shoulder. He walked around the back of the rover and loaded his pack and his medical kit. By the time he was sliding into the driver's seat, Bellamy was already settled in the passenger seat. "I thought you left the guard," he said, as he started the rover, sucking in a soft breath at the rumble of the giant machine under him. He had only driven a rover a couple of times, just enough to learn how in case something like this came up. Tag: Bellamy Blake |
|
|
Arker
"We save those who
we can save today."
Personal Text
Single
Relationship Status
Rebel Leader | Dark Knight
Lethal Weapon
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
AST
Tag me @bellamy
|
|
Post by Bellamy Blake on Jul 26, 2016 21:25:38 GMT
Tag: @severitysoftly whatever THE HELL WE WANT Bellamy gave a short nod when Jackson stated that it would be safer. It made sense. Should they get attacked by Grounders, well . . . it was what Bellamy had the gun for. And he sure as hell couldn't protect them while driving. As Jackson loaded his pack inside, Bellamy moved to the passanger's seat, joined by the doctor in the driver's only a few moments after. He moved the gun from around his shoulder, holding it casually in his lap while he started up the vehicle in preparation to leave.
"It's complicated," he answered, knowing it was the best way he could provide a response without going into all the nitty gritty details that he was fairly certain Jackson probably didn't want to hear. He wasn't waering his guard's jacket though, so he supposed that it was indeed a bit confusing. "I officially quit. But, there are still things that need to be done." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Kane wanted me to accompany the doctor going to meet Nyko." He knew why, and he hadn't even bothered questioning it. Soon enough, other guardsmen would be trained -- another part of Bellamy's duties. "Did you volunteer for this?" He asked, turning his head to the side to look at Jackson.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2016 21:45:05 GMT
Jackson nodded, pulling the rover out of it's spot and waiting for someone to open the garage doors for them. He squinted as the light flooded into the garage, and eased the rover out into camp. "I did," he said. "Nyko's a good man." Jackson didn't know him well, but he'd still fought to save his life. He was a healer, and Lincoln's high opinion of him had meant a lot. If times were different, Jackson imagined they might be friends, and Jackson couldn't deny his curiosity about what Grounder "medical" looked like. "Besides, I don't get out of camp often, so if I have the opportunity when it's relatively calm, I'll take it." He'd only really been to Mount Weather a couple of times, and Polis, though he'd been chipped most of his time spent there. People were pulling open the gates to let them out as Jackson approached the entrance to Arkadia. "Speaking of, I apologize in advance if this is a bumpy ride," he added, almost teasingly, but not quite.
Tag: Bellamy Blake |
|
|
Arker
"We save those who
we can save today."
Personal Text
Single
Relationship Status
Rebel Leader | Dark Knight
Lethal Weapon
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
AST
Tag me @bellamy
|
|
Post by Bellamy Blake on Jul 26, 2016 23:56:27 GMT
Tag: @severitysoftly whatever THE HELL WE WANT Bellamy didn't know Nyko well. He knew that he was good friends with Lincoln, and that he had saved Octavia. But that was about as far as Bellamy's knowledge of the man went. Apart from the few encounters they had, he hadn't really had an in length conversation with him. "Well let's hope it stays relatively calm." Either way, Bellamy was prepared. He wasn't naive enough to believe that the Grounders would let them live in peace now. The only thing that seemed to keep things steady right now was that several of them were also recovering from being chipped.
Kane was working the whole peace angle so Bellamy had no jurisdiction there. Whatever decision they came to, he would have to accept it. Even if it meant the 13th coalition bull shit. "How many times have you driven before?" He asked after Jackson warned him about the road being bumpy. That wouldn't be too much of a surprise. The roads were uneven, and if Nyko was tucked away in the woods then they would have to move on foot. He was trying to keep the conversation surface level things . . . avoid anything too deep, too . . . personal. Small talk. Not that this was their first time engaging in it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2016 0:14:28 GMT
That question made Jackson huff a breath, an almost laugh, as his lips curved just barely up for a moment. "Twice," he admitted. "Not very far. Just enough to get the basics down." He started to pick up speed a little bit as they left camp, heading generally in the direction he knew they needed to go, though he expected Bellamy would eventually start to navigate. He knew the terrain better than Jackson did. He gazed out at the land in front of them, drawing a deep breath. It was sort of nice being out of camp. He knew once they arrived where they were going, he would need to snap back to Doctor Mode, but there was something freeing about being out here right now. Even if he did feel like he was driving some sort of metal monstrosity, an unwieldy beast of a machine. "How have you been?" he asked after a moment, glancing at Bellamy briefly before facing forward again. Tag: Bellamy Blake |
|
|
Arker
"We save those who
we can save today."
Personal Text
Single
Relationship Status
Rebel Leader | Dark Knight
Lethal Weapon
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
AST
Tag me @bellamy
|
|
Post by Bellamy Blake on Jul 27, 2016 0:24:05 GMT
Tag: @severitysoftly whatever THE HELL WE WANT Jackson hadn't driven often, but more than others. There were some that were prioritized to teach how to drive should an emergency arise or if it would be specifically required of them. Jackson had been among them. "Well you're doing pretty good for having only ever driven twice," he told him sincerely. "Let me know if you wanna switch." If he got too tired or didn't feel comfortable. Though, he was handling himself well thus far -- which was no surprise. Bellamy looked out the window, Jackson's question prompting him to glance at the doctor before turning his head back forward to the road ahead.
"I've been alright." Better than the word fine he supposed. "Keeping busy." Which he imagined was something Jackson could more than relate to. He turned his head to look at him. "How about you?" He asked while looking at him. "Everything been going ok?" He knew he should have checked on him more often, gone out of his way to ask . . . but he had no idea what was going on between them, and therefore, was unsure what was better: to just let it be, or have sought him out. Arkadia was small enough that they would find themselves in the other's presence . . . like right now.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2016 1:09:17 GMT
Jackson inclined his head, considering the question in return. He should have known better than to expect a detailed answer from Bellamy. The question now was whether or not Jackson should, yet again, try the tactic he so often did with Bellamy of opening up more than he usually would to see if Bellamy might do the same. It hadn't ever worked before. "Keeping busy," he said eventually, repeating Bellamy's words. He winced when the rover hit a hard dip in the road, jostling him and Bellamy briefly, and then re-steadied his hands on the wheel. After a moments of silence, he sighed. Somehow, he couldn't make himself not try with Bellamy, even when it was very tempting to close off in the face of not getting much in return for his efforts. "Still trying to process everything, I guess. Not sure I'm getting anywhere."Tag: Bellamy Blake |
|
|
Arker
"We save those who
we can save today."
Personal Text
Single
Relationship Status
Rebel Leader | Dark Knight
Lethal Weapon
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
AST
Tag me @bellamy
|
|
Post by Bellamy Blake on Jul 27, 2016 1:52:40 GMT
Tag: @severitysoftly whatever THE HELL WE WANT Bellamy wasn't sure if Jackson was going to elaborate. He couldn't blame him for not going into detail; his own answer had been rather laconic after all. Bellamy held the door handle when the Rover hit a bump, in an indent in the road, but it fortunately wasn't anything too damaging. His grip eased when they were back on the steady path, as Jackson continued on.
Bellamy was grateful for his answer . . . despite his guilt that he had not yet offered the same. "It takes time," he assured him, knowing he had said that before but feeling the need to repeat the words. "Has it gotten any better you think?" He further inquired, wondering if he had been able to talk to Abby. "Are the nights at least getting better?" Was he able to get through the night with a restful sleep -- minimal nightmares or insomnia since he doubted those were completely out of the picture.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2016 2:11:20 GMT
"Sometimes it feels easier," Jackson admitted. "Most of the time it doesn't, and I occasionally even feel guilty for the rare occasions everything feels okay." He didn't feel like he deserved to feel okay, or for it to get easier. He and Abby were talking a little more now, but they still hadn't addressed what had happened between them. "The dreams are still pretty common. they don't always wake me up anymore, but some mornings I wake up feeling like I ran a marathon rather than slept." Jackson squinted ahead of them at a line of trees in the distance he was pretty sure they couldn't drive through. "Which way am I going up here?"Tag: Bellamy Blake
|
|
|
Arker
"We save those who
we can save today."
Personal Text
Single
Relationship Status
Rebel Leader | Dark Knight
Lethal Weapon
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
AST
Tag me @bellamy
|
|
Post by Bellamy Blake on Jul 27, 2016 2:23:21 GMT
Tag: @severitysoftly whatever THE HELL WE WANT Bellamy listened intently to Jackson as he began to elaborate on his question. He knew what it felt like, those nights of sleep yet they were more exhausting than anything else. And he hated that Jackson was going through it. "Well sometimes is something," Bellamy said, trying to be optimistic . . . hopeful. But it was hard to be either in such times. Then again, as Jackson had said earlier, things have have been relatively calm -- for the most part.
"It's progress at least. Means that things may be getting better, at least a little." They had to hold on to whatever they could get. "I've been meaning to check on you, see how everything was going," he admitted, the words not a lie but he left out his reasons that he hadn't. The same reasons that he supposed Jackson had not sought him out etiher. He was distractd when Jackson brought attention to the heavily wooded area up ahead. "We're gonna have to park and cover the rover. Make the rest of the way on foot." It seemed that they were tucked in after all. Big damn shocker. "It's going to be a couple hour trek at least. Bring only what you absolutely need." Otherwise the weight would slow them down and over exhaust them before they even got to their destination.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2016 2:54:22 GMT
Jackson glanced over when Bellamy said he'd been meaning to check on him, surprised. He wondered if it was out of some sort of pity, or if Bellamy actually cared. The last time he'd asked Bellamy to reassure him he didn't pity him, Bellamy had been convincing. And he seemed to care when they were alone, at least, but if that was the case, why hadn't Bellamy checked on him? He nodded when Bellamy explained they'd have to park, and started scanning the tree line for a rover-sized clearance, just somewhere he could tuck the vehicle in so it wasn't out in plain sight. "Why didn't you come check on me?" he asked casually, his gaze ahead. "Too busy?" he added, and then wished he hadn't just handed Bellamy a convenient out.
Tag: Bellamy Blake |
|
|
Arker
"We save those who
we can save today."
Personal Text
Single
Relationship Status
Rebel Leader | Dark Knight
Lethal Weapon
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
AST
Tag me @bellamy
|
|
Post by Bellamy Blake on Jul 27, 2016 3:03:45 GMT
Tag: @severitysoftly whatever THE HELL WE WANT Bellamy kept his gaze forward. Jackson's questioned threatened to bring up that conversation that both of them had apparently been avoiding -- otherwise, why not spend more time together. Why not enjoy the comfort that they clearly had. Why not experience more nights like the one they shared. Because it had been too good, and it was broaching on an intimacy that neither of them had discussed before. He added in the answer of Bellamy being too busy . . . and while Bellamy could use that as an excuse, he wouldn't lie. No. He hadn't been too busy for Jackson. He remained silent, thinking of what would be the best response to the question. A casual out of just agreeing with him would save the conversation . . . maybe he should just go with that.
"Same reason you never took me up on my offer again." When he had said 'anytime'. That night had brought them both peace and Bellamy had to assume that if it wasn't for the same reason he himself hadn't checked on Jackson, then they would have had more nights like that, or it would have at least been suggested. Then again, Bellamy could have just been making all the wrong assumptions and it could come down the very simple truth, that he was unneeded and unwanted by yet another. When Jackson seemed to find a suitable spot to park the rover, Bellamy continued. "Does it really matter now?" he asked casually, though not entirely rhetoricaly. With that however, he opened the door and stepped out to open the back of the Rover. He knew that it did matter. More than he was willing to admit.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2016 3:21:56 GMT
Bellamy was silent for a while, and while the silence was a little painful, it actually gave Jackson a mild hopefulness. If Bellamy had to think this hard about that answer, it meant that the answer was complicated, and probably important. When Bellamy finally answered, Jackson almost protested, almost asked how he knew why Jackson had never taken Bellamy up on his offer, but... Bellamy knew him better than he knew Bellamy. Bellamy knew things about him that he didn't normally tell people. Maybe Bellamy did know. Or maybe he was assuming too much. When Bellamy spoke again, this time Jackson did open his mouth to reply, but Bellamy slipped out of the vehicle too fast for him to get a word. out. "Damn it," Jackson breathed, then got out of the rover himself and followed Bellamy to the back. "I don't know, Bellamy, does it?" he asked, without looking at Bellamy as he grabbed his medical kit and pack from the back of the vehicle. Tag: Bellamy Blake |
|
|
Arker
"We save those who
we can save today."
Personal Text
Single
Relationship Status
Rebel Leader | Dark Knight
Lethal Weapon
Occupation
|
euphoria
Offline
AST
Tag me @bellamy
|
|
Post by Bellamy Blake on Jul 27, 2016 3:40:09 GMT
Tag: @severitysoftly whatever THE HELL WE WANT Jackson returned his question with the same one as he joined him at the back of the vehicle, gathering the supplies that they needed. "What do you want me to say Jackson?" This time, the question was rhetorical. "That anyone I get close to either leaves, or ends up dead." Or hates him but he supposed that could be tied in with the former. The words were not said to bring forth pity or sympathy. Bellamy knew he deserved their hate; he knew he wasnt worth anyone staying for. But that didnt mean it didnt hurt. Every single damn time, it hurt.
"Its easier to hate me than--" To love him or care for him but the words were left unsaid. "Anything else. So lets just leave it that. Im the asshole who didnt check on you." And that was all there was to it. He slammed the back door shut once they had their things and started to cover the rover as best he could with leaves and whatever else. "Now lets go." He knew he had said too much, and that his emotions were often his weakness. He was on the verge of breaking down and was doing everything within his power not to. So he just started walking forward, trying to keep stoic. . . trying not to break.
|
|
